a-maimed-man-and-bitter

[a-maimed-man-and-bitter]

Hiatus

I’m taking a week’s break from RP to get on top of a couple of other projects. 

Will miss you all muchly, look forward to resuming our stuff next week!

All the best,

Cathy

[a-maimed-man-and-bitter]

Chapters: 6/13 Fandom: Game of Thrones (TV), A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth, Addam Marbrand/Brienne of Tarth, Jaime Lannister/Addam Marbrand/Brienne of Tarth Characters: Brienne of Tarth, Jaime Lannister, Addam Marbrand, Bran Stark Additional Tags: Post-Season/Series 08 Finale, Heavy Angst, Not A Fix-It, No meadows in Tarth, Because Fuck What Jaime Did to Brienne, She’s not forgiving him in this fic, It shouldn’t work like that, Me dealing with my s8 rage, my catharsis, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon-Typical Misogyny, Canon-Typical Ableism, Canon-Typical Incest References, Explicit Sexual Content Series: Part 3 of Me Without You Summary:

Continuing the events from “Brienne Without Jaime” and “Jaime Without Brienne”.

[a-maimed-man-and-bitter]

sapphiremaid​:

She raised a brow. It would seem he was making a conscious effort to keep away from Cersei, which truly did surprise her. She had never known him to have quite so much self control. She wondered how long it would last. Perhaps until she agreed to allow him back into her life fully, and then he could resume his lecherous ways.

She took a sip of her tea. Studied him for several seconds before she spoke.

“I won’t have her spoiled,” she answered. “She may be a Lannister, but she will not grow up thinking everything will be handed to her on a platter like you and your siblings did.”

Joanna was approaching her third birthday and she could throw a tantrum as well as any toddler, but Brienne was yet to relent and give her what she wanted when she threw a fit. She would not allow Jaime to give in either.

“You cannot buy someone’s love, Jaime,” she continued. “You know as well as I do that you’re her entire world. Perhaps we ought to tell her that you love someone else and that’s why you aren’t living here anymore.”

She stood quickly then, startling Joanna out of the deep concentration she was in as she ate her breakfast.

“I’m going to get dressed. I trust you can finish up breakfast yourself.”

And, before he could speak, she left the room, only just making it upstairs and closing the door behind her before she began to cry.

“I wouldn’t spoil her!” Jaime protested. “That’s not what I meant, Brienne. Not at all. I thought it would be nice to take her out - she likes the zoo, doesn’t she? She had a great time when we took her last year, and she’s even bigger now.”

He shook his head. “You know I love Joanna. You know I’ve been a good dad to her. To accuse me of being like - like my father?! Where does that even come from?”

“Don’t you dare tell her I’m in love with someone else. Don’t you dare tell her this is my choice in any way!”

He yelled up the stairs after her. “This is not my choice, Brienne!”

[a-maimed-man-and-bitter]

healingarztinhidden​:

Angela certainly had her brows raised. “Jaime, I have no doubt you are a fantastic knight, and you’d certainly be on our radar.”

“My case was different. They took me in, but I gave myself my abilities. I’ve always wondered if I had a child, that they would inherit my immortality, so to speak, and my powers. That’s not happening anytime soon.” She chuckled.

“I don’t know how I ended up here.” She ran a hand through her hair. “And I thank you for taking me in while I figure out to get home. I’ll find some way to repay your kindness. in the meantime, I want to get to know things around here.”

“Home?” asked Cersei, her voice a tinkling mockery of amusement. “You think you will be able to go home?”

Jaime almost felt sorry for Angela. The woman, goddess or not, was far too trusting. Far too open. She had given Cersei far too much information. Enough to hang herself.

“I can’t let someone like you be wandering around the city,” Cersei continued. “You, with your abilities and your immortality. It would be far too dangerous.”

“You’ll remain here,” she said. “There will be guards outside the door to make sure you understand that. And ... my brother will visit you twice a day. Until he has put a babe in your belly.”

“What?!” Jaime gasped. “ A - a babe?”

“You heard her, Jaime. There’s a chance her child will inherit her powers. Her child ... your child.”

[a-maimed-man-and-bitter]

theunburntprotector​:

Outside the window, the sun was setting with a bizarrely perfect purple and orange gleam. The City of Westeros sparkled and dazzled; from its high stately towers to its plethora of houses and condominiums. 

Dany was suddenly aware of the buzzing conversation downstairs. The entire first floor of the manor was completely packed with politicians, of course. All of those people would underestimate her ability to be a leader. 

Each of them had the ability to be a roadblock in the campaign of Daenerys Targaryen.

Maybe - just maybe - Jaime had a point. Their win would be guaranteed. 

“Fine,” she shrugged, glancing back from the windowsill, still donning a leathery little showpiece. “Alright. You make fair points, Jaime Lannister. I’m in.”

Jaime unleashed his most dazzling grin. He’d known there was no way she could resist - power, glory ... the chance to look good by his side. He’d known he’d had her from the moment she’d turned up.

“I look forward to working with you. And partying with you, of course.”

He bent back over the desk to offer his rear to her, as if to seal the deal.

“I have a few ground rules, of course, but I’m sure you’ll have plenty more for me.”

“First, I need a few staff. You get to pick the important team of course, the publicist, the security, the campaign team ... but I pick my personal people. Maids, chauffeurs. I get to keep Brienne, mostly because she drives my sister crazy.”

“Also I need a personal budget. A big one. I pick my cars, my suits, my shoes. You can have the big office, but I want the big suite. I need a chef, a decorator, a personal trainer too. On staff.”

“Oh ... and you’ll need to pretend you’re in love with me.”

[a-maimed-man-and-bitter]

Jaime ignored the whore, or at least he tried to. She was ... well, she was massive, there was no way around that. Had she been on her feet, he suspected she would be half a head taller than him!

What was Tyrion thinking? He must be crushed under her.

Actually, he didn’t want to know the answer to that question. The things that went on in rooms such as this were best left secret.

“There’s no time for - for this,” he said with a sneer. “As my brother well knows. Tis our father’s nameday and we are expected to feast him in less than an hour.”

He looked about for his brother’s clothes - found something he thought was a leather jerkin that turned out to be a corset of some kind. 

Not that the whore had much to push and pull in any direction. Not that he’d looked. Certainly not at her thick waist and rather muscular arse. Not at the freckles on her cream-coloured shoulders, either. Nor the pointy little buds that were more nipple than breast or the fact that she was far hairier than his sister ...

“Come on!” he all but screamed at Tyrion, disturbed by the fact that sweat had sprung out on his upper lip and under his arms despite the cool day. “We - we need to leave. Now.”

@a-maimed-man-and-bitter​

The man underneath her had paid the brothel mistress for the night, so when the door came flying open, she was surprised. Sometimes when Lord Tyrion was there, he might request more than one of the girls, but he never had with her. She looked up to see a man instead. He was dressed in pale leather and he would have looked golden even in daylight and not just the candlelight. He was the most beautiful man that she had seen, hardly one that would have needed to find his pleasure in a brothel. It only took her a moment to figure out who he was.

“Brother!”

The way Lord Tyrion said it was slightly strangled, crushed under the weight of her, but he made no move to push her off of him. He grabbed at her thighs as if it might keep her in place and she complied. It was a strange sort of modesty, to prefer a giant of a woman covering his cock. She didn’t cover herself, though from the moment he had opened the door, she had stilled.

“Are you joining us ser?”

[a-maimed-man-and-bitter]

oathkeeperwench​:

“You aren’t old,” she responded automatically before she bit her lip as she watched her husband gape at her. It seemed like her news had completely stunned Jaime. Brienne only hoped that once he got over his shock, he would be happy about it. 

When he finally came out of his shock enough to ask if she was really pregnant, she took his good hand and placed it on her stomach with a nod. 

“I had my suspicions earlier, but I did not want to tell you until I had it confirmed by the maester. It seems like you did get me with child that night. I’m about two moons along.”

“Gods!” Jaime exclaimed. He couldn’t seem to stop staring at her. “Gods ...” he said again.

Then he leapt to his feet, wrapping his arms about her, trying to sweep her off her feet before remembering she was far too heavy for him to lift. He settled for kissing all over her face, gazing into those perfect blue eyes of hers.

“It’s so fast! I do have potent seed, do I not?” he laughed at his own foolish pride and then reached out to touch her belly, fancying that he could feel a small bump there already.

“How do you feel?” he asked. “Gods, you’ve been on your feet all day chasing after Sansa Stark! Sit down, you need to rest far more now.”

He helped her out of her jacket, made her sit on the bed and then made a pig’s ear of trying to take her boots off with his single hand. “Are you hungry? Do you need food? Something to drink?”

[a-maimed-man-and-bitter]

jcxnnalxnnister​:

Jaime had a point. If news did travel fast about what she had done to King’s Landing, then maybe someone would really see what she is like. She listened to her son. “I guess so.” She said.

She glanced around at where they were and then looked towards the window. She stopped before she saw the view outside again.

Joanna looked down at her hands as Jaime held them. She then looked back at him. “I don’t want that to happen to you and your brother. You two should be allowed to marry who you love. Plus where does that leave me?” Joanna told him. 

“You’ll be the dowager Lady of the Rock,” Jaime reassured his mother, squeezing her hand as he took a seat beside her at the window. He tried his best to keep a smile on his face, tried his best to look reassuring.

“Mother, you will love it. Just think - gooddaughters to talk to, grandchildren to fuss over. We ... we can rebuild. Make new lives. We’ll bend the knee to the crown and all will be well, you’ll see.”

[a-maimed-man-and-bitter]

serbrienneoftarth​:

Brienne felt ill as her phone beeped again for a sixth time. She didn’t even know he still had his phone. Though under contract, she was still playing the bill. She’d already spend longer than she’d said she would out of the house. Shed called local impound lots with no success, but that had been what she was hoping for. Eventually, she had found it, not terribly far from where Jaime had been last night. The windscreen was cracked and it was nearly on empty, but otherwise, it was fine. Too shit to take or ruin. At least it hadn’t cost her an obscene amount to recover.

She had parted ways with Sansa there, thanking her twice more for the trouble and promising to call her, not wanting to argue about Jaime again.

She swiped her card through the reader and bounced in place. Once her payment cleared she took her receipt and the bakery box and hurried back to her car to drive home.

She took a moment to check her texts again. ‘Shit.’ She should have stayed. Why hadn’t she stayed? ‘Please let him only be texting me and not a dealer.’

[TEXT] I’m sorry I’m late. I’m on my way home now. XOXO

It seemed as if she had needed to stop at every light on the way home. Worry gnawed at her gut and by the time she was back and had parked the car she thought she might be sick if her heart didn’t burst first.

“Jaime?” She kicked off her flats and squatted and tucked her keys into one of her running shoes in the entryway. Then carried the box of pastries to the kitchen. Her laptop was open on the table, but no Jaime. When she didn’t find him there she headed straight for their bedroom. “Are you in here?”

Jaime was so high he felt like he was literally flying. Like he could feel clouds caressing his back, like the wind was on his skin, caressing him and speeding him through the air.

He felt like angels were making love to him, like he was in a bed full of kittens, like he was intensely in love.

He heard Brienne’s voice. Realised he was on the floor of the bathroom, drooling face down on the tiles. Naked. Where the fuck were his clothes?

Then it all came back to him. She’d been out. She’d been out too long. He hadn’t been able to deal with it, he hadn’t been able to cope and his skin had been on fire, his belly churning and his bones weak.

Because she hadn’t come back, he’d called his dealer. Because he hadn’t been allowed a car, he’d invited him to their house. Because he hadn’t got any fucking money, because Brienne, fucking Brienne didn’t let him have any fucking money, his dealer had been pissed that he couldn’t pay for the pills he’d just necked and the bag of extras he’d taken.

Jaime had tried to reason with him, told him to look round the house for anything he wanted. Offered him the seven-hundred-dragon pram Brienne’s father had bought when they’d said they were trying for a baby. The guy had no kids, but he’d taken the pram anyway. He’d not been happy, though. He’d been unhappy enough to punch Jaime more times than he’d been able to count, leave him bleeding and spitting out one of his good chewing teeth on the bathroom floor.

“Brienne?!” he answered, desperately trying to make his tongue work. “I’m in here, I ... I had an accident. I slipped in the shower. Bashed my face up.”

[a-maimed-man-and-bitter]

healingarztinhidden​:

Angela lifted her brows and watched the interactions between the two, and it ended when Cersi grabbing her arm and demanding she resurrect her mother. 

“I’m sorry. I know what it is to lose your parents. I can’t bring her back. You see, my healing is unlimited. She paused. Oh right, they thing she’s a goddess. 

“I can only use it on demigods and other inhumans.” They didn’t need to know that the other “gods” could die and that’s mostly who she resurrected.

The doktor gently removed her arm from the queen’s grip. “Your brother is right, I’m a knight. And like you, my parents died when I was young.” 

“My parents and I were mortals. One day, they were killed in war. I joined the army, and by 17, I became the best in my land, so the gods sought me out.”  She was sure to play up the whole goddess thing as she spoke.

“They invited me to become one of them, and after I took my oath, I was transformed into a goddess.”

“One last thing. We don’t report to any lord or monarch. We can be summoned to help them, but only to fight the other evil gods and their troops.”

Jaime watched as Cersei’s face twisted into disbelief and then rage. Of course his sister would interpret the woman’s words as defiance. He almost felt sorry for this creature that had fallen from the sky.

But then as they listened to the story of her life, he saw Cersei’s face become animated again, losing that stony look of fury, her eyes once again sparkling with thoughts, with ideas, with cunning.

Jaime already knew what it was.

“So, ordinary mortals like us can be raised to godhood?” he asked, heading his twin off. “Just by being the best?”

Cersei nodded eagerly. “Is that why you came here? My brother - he a knight, and the best swordsman in the land - have you come to bestow these powers on him?”

[a-maimed-man-and-bitter]

sapphiremaid​:

“I’m fine,” she snapped, forgetting that Joanna was sitting there, happily playing with her favourite bear in her little summer dress. She didn’t know where Joanna had gotten her girliness from. Last night had been the first time Brienne had worn a dress in years.

Quickly, she forced a smile, even going so far as to kiss his cheek.

“But thank you. You always care so much about me.”

There was malice in her tone still, but not obvious enough for Joanna to pick up on. But she wanted Jaime to know that just because they’d slept together the night before, she hadn’t forgotten.

It was not long before Brienne had dressed and they were sat at the table, Joanna babbling excitedly while she and her daddy ate breakfast. Brienne, meanwhile, nursed a mug of ginger tea. Her nausea was fading, but she wanted to rid herself of it before they went on their walk.

“When are you working next week?” Brienne asked. Ignored the pain she felt, knowing he worked with Cersei. “You can take Joanna on your days off. Otherwise I need to book her into daycare.”

“I’m working from home,” he said, not looking at her. The unspoken presence of Cersei was like a wall between them. “You think I can go into the office? Of course I can’t.”

The truth was, he’d probably end up crying, or throwing things, or sabotaging deals he’d spent months putting together. And if he saw Cersei ...

“I have a couple of meetings in town, but ... I haven’t scheduled them yet. I can take Joanna whenever you want.”

“I could take her to the zoo maybe? I could buy her some things, have lunch with her, take her to the toy shop? Show her that I still ... you know.”

The thought made a painful lump form in his throat. It hurt him just to look at his little girl, hurt him to think of all the breakfasts like this one that he was going to miss.

“I just don’t want her to think I don’t love her any more,” he said his voice cracking despite his best efforts. “Now that I’m not going to be around so much.”

[a-maimed-man-and-bitter]

serbrienneoftarth​:

Brienne couldn’t keep her own tears from spilling again, ugly and snotty and feeling hollowed out again. The only time she could forget that emptiness was when he was slotted into her and chasing away that space with his body. It never lasted long enough. And it never felt as right with anyone else. She jerked her legs closed and slid off the couch and onto the floor to fold in on herself.

She wanted to be able to let him go, but he was that piece that she needed to close the bloody and gaping wound that they’d equally made in their lives.

She stared at the door at the end of the hall where she hoped the girls were sleeping soundly. Joanna and Cyrenna deserved better than their chaos. But she did not love Jaime by choice, it had never been a choice.

She was so afraid to speak, to send him careening towards an edge, and so afraid that if she didn’t that he’d do it anyway and she would be there alone, guilty of not stopping his rapid and violent descent. The same way she hadn’t stopped him before, taken the keys to drive, because maybe it would have made a difference. Maybe he’d still have his hand, they’d have their baby boy, and she never would have chated. Their family wouldn’t be so broken.

“I miss you.” And the ridiculousness was that they were still in each other’s pockets. Separate living spaces, separate lives, and yet tied together with some cosmic elastic string that kept snapping them brutally back together as a reminder. “I can’t do this without you.”

Jaime scoffed. He had his head in his hand, his wet hair dripping down his arm.

“You can’t do this without me? Seriously?”

He looked at her on the floor, the great long bulk of her, her thick legs and thick arms and the miserable frown on her face.

“How can you say that? You’re not the one sitting here thinking about eating a bullet while his two daughters are in the house. I have to have a drink just to get out of bed most mornings. What good can I possibly be to you, Brienne? What do you think I have to offer our family?”

“You’d all be so much better off without me, don’t you see that? I’m such a fucking mess I make everything I touch turn to shit.”

“You need to be free of me. All of you do. You think I’m a good man? A good father? A good husband? You think I’m good for any of you?”

He looked over at the safe. Thought of the peace. The endless dark.

“Please, Brienne. Will you let me do it for you? Please. Take the girls, take them home. I’ll - I’ll write them a letter for when they’re older, make them understand it’s for the best. They don’t need this, and neither do you.”

[a-maimed-man-and-bitter]

theunburntprotector​:

“You really do assume I’m your sister. Ready to bargain with the Euron Greyjoys of the world or sleep my way through all of my most dangerous enemies,” muttered Daenerys. “It’s far easier to be a king, I’ll give you that. But I don’t need to do any of those other things.”

If the unburnt queen had made it this far without climbing into beds for political gain… In her experience, men only made things more complicated.

She arched a brow and allowed a soft smile to play on her lips. “Jealousy again. I think I’ve learned your greatest weakness. Ser Jaime - the handsomest, bravest soldier in all the land, a golden Lannister of noble blood… worried that every woman he cares for will leave him. Mm.”

Dany let the words seep between them and fill what little space was left in the bed. She could not, however, even muster a smirk at the revelation for the anxiousness in Jaime’s eyes. 

“You have nothing to worry about with me. Worry only if your horse will be up for the long journey back home tomorrow evening. Sleep.”

Jaime looked at Daenerys with wide eyes. Shocked to his core. 

This ... this was supposed to be the only way a woman could rule, was it not? The only way she could be taken seriously was to render the men in her life foolish with the unsubtle application of her sex.

He had known it. He had accepted it. He had believed it.

“You mean ... that’s not what you’re planning to do? That’s not how you will need to rule?”

A laugh burst out of him. A half-joyous, half-mad laugh. Cersei had lied to him. Of course Cersei had lied to him.

He grabbed Daenerys by the back of the neck, pulled her lips to his and kissed her hard before he caught himself.

“Sorry,” he said. “It’s not so much I worry that you’ll leave. It’s that I worry I’ll be trapped. Hidden. Only having scraps of the woman I ...”

He cleared his throat. “Well, now you know. So ... I would prefer not to be sent away so quickly, if it’s all the same to you, your grace?”

[a-maimed-man-and-bitter]

oathkeeperwench​:

“Of course I feel the same way,” Brienne insisted, her eyes soft and tearing up slightly at his words. “I’ve loved you for years, Jaime. I may not have thought that I would ever have this, but that did not stop me from wanting it.”

She kissed him softly, wanting to reassure him. “You do believe me, don’t you?”

“I do find it hard to believe,” Jaime whispered. “Not that I disbelieve you, you understand. But ... you really wanted to marry me? Me?!”

He let out a warm chuckle into the frozen air. 

“We have been a pair of fools, have we not? Quite in love, but never daring to believe the other felt the same. We have wasted so many years.”

He kissed the back of her hand. Gazed into her eyes. “No more. I would not waste another single day without you, Ser Brienne of Tarth.”

[a-maimed-man-and-bitter]

Chapters: 5/13 Fandom: Game of Thrones (TV), A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth, Addam Marbrand/Brienne of Tarth Characters: Brienne of Tarth, Jaime Lannister, Addam Marbrand, Bran Stark Additional Tags: Post-Season/Series 08 Finale, Heavy Angst, Not A Fix-It, No meadows in Tarth, Because Fuck What Jaime Did to Brienne, She’s not forgiving him in this fic, It shouldn’t work like that, Me dealing with my s8 rage, my catharsis, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon-Typical Misogyny, Canon-Typical Ableism, Canon-Typical Incest References, Explicit Sexual Content Series: Part 3 of Me Without You Summary:

Continuing the events from “Brienne Without Jaime” and “Jaime Without Brienne”.

[a-maimed-man-and-bitter]

aloyalpayne​:

Missed her, yet hadn’t returned for her. Podrick made a face.

“She doesn’t speak of you at all.”

Lady Brienne has not spoken his name in months, though there had been a period of time that she had been sad enough to have cried for him. And then she’d been angry enough to speak of him so. He did not count the cursing she had done when he’d gone upstairs and heard her labouring through the door.

A kitchen girl left the ale on the table and Podrick poured two cups and pushed on across the table.

“You’d have known about them if you had stayed,” he accused. He put his face into his cup of ale and swallowed the bitter drink.

He did not speak for Lady Brienne, though he wanted to tell Ser Jaime to leave and to dishonour her no further. He imagined his lady would call for him though, too honourable to turn him away without seeing him at all.

“I - I could not stay. I tried to make her understand before I left. I ... I am not the man she thought I was.”

He turned his cup round in his hand, looking at the swirling liquid within. 

“You know Brienne. Better than most, I daresay. She ... all those things she said about me, when she defended me to the Starks and the Dragon Queen ... she was thinking with her cunt, you know?”

“Honestly, would she have defended me had I been a stunted, ugly dwarf like my brother? Most likely she would have let me drown in that bathtub.”

He drained his glass. Held it up for the kitchen girl to refill. Found he couldn’t quite look Podrick Payne in the eyes.

“She’s loyal, I know. A good woman. But her loyalty to me was misplaced. You must see that? She was a fool to yield her maidenhead to a man such as me.”

[a-maimed-man-and-bitter]

oathkeeperwench​:

Brienne allowed herself a few moments to laugh happily at Jaime’s reaction to her telling him that she loved him before his words brought her back down to seriousness again. She sighed as she considered what would happen when people found out about the babe she was carrying. 

“The fault is mine as well, Jaime, not just yours. Even with my feelings being the way they are, I could have said no. My father will not be happy about this either. He sent me to Kings Landing to reduce the scandal caused by me rejecting the last suitor my father found for me.” 

She kissed him softly. “Despite the fact that this babe will cause a scandal, I do not regret it. I have never regretted lying with you, only the fact that we cannot marry.”

“You could have said no?” Jaime gasped, all mock hurt and wide eyes. “To me? I don’t believe you, Lady Brienne. Not for a moment.”

He rolled her on top of him, kissing and biting all her ticklish places. He loved to make this massive warrior woman giggle like a child. It pleased him.

“I have an idea,” he said, once they were settled back on the bed and he had his head resting on her slightly swollen belly. 

“I have a bannerman in need of a wife. Ser Addam Marbrand, heir to Ashemark and captain of the Goldcloaks. An excellent match for the heir to Tarth, wouldn’t you say? He is also a trusted childhood friend and he lives in King’s Landing. On account of his position, of course.”

“If you were to wed him, then ... there would be no disgrace for you and our babe would be no bastard. In fact, he would be heir to Tarth and Ashemark.”

He traced his finger down her nose. “And you and I could, of course, continue to bed one another whenever we chose.”