a-very-disreputable-intj

[a-very-disreputable-intj]

Boss and I stopped inventory today to watch the new Pope be announced. Suddenly my phone is blowing up with texts from my brother:

Brother: Star Wars stuff, Star Wars stuff, Star Wars, Star Wars..

Me: Not now, new Pope just dropped. American!

Brother: whattt?!

Me: I'm watching the news right now!

Brother: that's nuts! Anyways! Star Wars, Star Wars, Star Wars....

[a-very-disreputable-intj]

A year ago I pranked my mom with 200 of those tiny plastic ducks and now she's hiding little random monster toys in my house and car.

I'm undecided if I should be offended she chose monsters to retaliate with or if I'm overthinking it.

My sisters got pranked with sea turtles and flamingos so I'm leaning towards offended.

[a-very-disreputable-intj]

I may be lactose intolerant but I can eat cilantro so tacos can take me out but at least I can appreciate them appropriately

[a-very-disreputable-intj]

Intj pet peeve of all time has to be my mysterious inability to have simple communication with literally anyone ever.

Asks a simple "yes" or "no" question, gets a 20 minute explanation about what I already know. The orginal question is never answered. This cannot be bypassed by specifying that only a "yes" or "no" is needed.

Asks a complex question, gets told I'm "overthinking it", "we'll cover that later", " no one's ever asked that before", or dismissed outright. Again, the question is never answered.

Gets asked a question, gives an insightful answer, they ignore that completely and make the worst possible choice, consequences ensue, and then they act shocked and dismay at this unforeseeable outcome.

[a-very-disreputable-intj]

Tired of my dreams getting so dark, I can't see shit in here and no one brought a flashlight!

[a-very-disreputable-intj]

Dreamt I went to slay a huge black dragon nesting in some house because I'm the only one who's allowed to be a menace

"There can only be one demon in this house and it's gonna be ME"

[a-very-disreputable-intj]

One of the funniest things my brother has ever done was the way he reacted the one time I visited him in basic training. Anyone who knows me well enough knows that I'm not a "shoot first, ask later" type of person, unless it involves my younger siblings, then I have an "instant kill" protector mode turn on that I cannot control. As soon as I arrived on base with our mom and sister, my brother doggedly prevented me from being within earshot/speaking distance of ANY superior officer and herded us (me) off base as soon as possible.

They very graciously let him spend several hours off base with us. And no one got arrested!

[a-very-disreputable-intj]

I found a childhood photo of me on display on top of my mother's dresser. It's the only photo in the room. She's never put up pictures of me, I don't think she even knows that. Houses full of pictures, none of me. Until now.

I am mildly terrified that this signals a change in our relationship.

Does this mean my mom likes me now? I am good child now? We are... friends? Does she need an eval?

Most disturbing What The Hell Does That Mean? moment ever!

[a-very-disreputable-intj]

[a-very-disreputable-intj]

HAPPY MAY THE FOURTH

[a-very-disreputable-intj]

Leia post in honor of Carrie Fisher’s passing which was 7 years ago today.

[a-very-disreputable-intj]

Had a printer problem at work and gave the IT Ken a very detailed description of the problem and very specifically, what not to do to solve the problem. He leaves and an hour later I get an email saying the printer was fixed. I check and see that IT Ken writes in his email that he went straight upstairs to the problem printer and immediately DID EVERYTHING I TOLD HIM NOT TO DO!!!?! I reopened the ticket with a strongly worded return email, which in all formal, professional language said, "you did exactly what I told you NOT to do, you didn't fix shit, get your idiot ass back up there and do what I told you to do!".

IT Ken doesn't answer the email or the page to return. I see him the next day at the beginning of my shift. Now I'm glaring daggers at him, he's getting the full INTJ "I'm going to put your head on a pike, fool" glare and he bounces up to me, I envision bells and cap at this point, announcing cheerfully that he'll be down to fix the printer later.

Long story short, he fixed the printer and thinly escaped becoming a charred carcass on the floor.

[a-very-disreputable-intj]

Some people watch sit-coms or stand up for entertainment. I call my brother and update him on the Newest Printer Crisis and watch him try to wrap his innocent little mind around the complete lack of any reasoning skills, one dime of common sense, or a just one braincell from the feral morons of the IT department at my job.

His head explodes.

Shout-out to Alan (yes, his real name), though, for having the lone braincell and sticking with me for FIVE FUCKING MONTHS to solve the printer problem. And I guess the other guy who reinstalled the driver properly like I told everyone needed to be done in the first place.

And I get a medal for making this everyone's problem until it was no longer mine!

[a-very-disreputable-intj]

this is another very colt thing to do. ya see, instead of chilling his hand in a regular cold glass of water my dude gets a SUNSET ON ICE

[a-very-disreputable-intj]

ShahRukhKhan’s beautiful words from the book ‘SHAH RUKH KHAN’ by MoharBasu

[a-very-disreputable-intj]

[a-very-disreputable-intj]

Don't know how to explain to my sweet, dumb brother how unfathomably dumb other people are.

Bless his optimistic little heart.