ablondehoe

[ablondehoe]

I knew my relationship wasn’t meant to last when he refused to dress up as Sampo

[ablondehoe]

Made this for that one twitter thread

[ablondehoe]

Forgot to post my Spotify wrapped

[ablondehoe]

guy sitting in front of me in class was vandalizing wikipedia and i kept reverting his edits as soon as he made them and he couldn't figure out why it was happening

[ablondehoe]

I lied. Put your clothes back on. I’m going to show you a presentation of how you can be more like Sampo and explain his lore

[ablondehoe]

I got plans I can’t explain

[ablondehoe]

ladies you have $15 to spend on the perfect man

$300 - works out

$200 - smart

$400 - smells nice

$70 - has a job

$10 - looks like Sampo Koski

$5 - acts like Sampo Koski

$500 - over 6 feet tall

[ablondehoe]

Head canon that if someone inserts a flash drive containing the zip bomb into Boothill’s USB port, he’ll instantly explode

[ablondehoe]

Stopped believing in Santa when I didn’t get Sampo oiled up under the Christmas tree

[ablondehoe]

I don’t care about my digital footprint. The world needs to know I goon over Sampo Koski

[ablondehoe]

NSFW Sampo Headcannons

A/N: okay so I’m a little late with the smut. My sister just moved into her college dorm so I’ve been spending time with her before her semester starts. So here’s some head cannons about Sampo until I have more time to write.

Sampo headcannons:

This man has a high sex drive. He will make you go for multiple rounds.

Is clean shaven and cut.

This man whimpers. One touch and he’s whining.

Totally a bottom or switch.

Master of dirty talk.

Can and will breed you.

Cums a lot. If you’re female, you better be on birth control.

High stamina from running from Gepard and the other Silvermane Guards.

Favorite position is cowgirl.

He’s an ass man. Loves all shapes and sizes of ass.

Is a soft sadist in the bedroom.

Demands cuddles after sex. Loves cuddling while his cum is leaking out of every hole.

[ablondehoe]

Okay so Sampo won the poll. I’ll try and get smut out by next week. Just need to brainstorm some ideas. If anyone has any ideas or suggestions, let me know

[ablondehoe]

I need to start a petition for the next quest to be about Sampo and his journey of being a man slut

Okay so it’s been a year(?) since my last smut but soon I’ll post another. But for now, I need to know who the sluttiest Star Rail man is

[ablondehoe]

Okay so it’s been a year(?) since my last smut but soon I’ll post another. But for now, I need to know who the sluttiest Star Rail man is

[ablondehoe]

he never did anything wrong 🥹

[ablondehoe]

Some guy riding his bike hit me when I was crossing the street a few nights ago and my mom wouldn't stop making jokes about it. We were watching a show and someone gets hit by a guy riding a bike and she deadass said “that’s you”

[ablondehoe]

Next smut is a Sampo x fem reader x Gepard. Just need to know if Gepard has a bigger cock than Sampo