abscondingreality

[abscondingreality]

Alam mo ba, may mga times na feel ko di ka interesado sakin. Hindi interasado makipag-usap, hindi interesado makinig mga ganun. May time na nagkukuwento ka tapos nung ako na nagkukuwento, di ka na nakikinig. May time nga na di na mo na alam kung ano sinabi ko hahaha. Kaya tumatahimik na lang ako. Di ka rin naman nakikinig. Gusto ko lang sabihin

[abscondingreality]

“Breathe. It’s only a bad day, not a bad life.”

— Ashley Purdy

[abscondingreality]

Best ways to win yourself again

So, I've been reading "You are badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life" by Jen Sincero and she said that the most rampant and the most devastating of all is that we invest everything we've got in believing that we're not good enough.

It shouldn't be like that.

We should start talking about loving ourselves enough to let go of guilt, resentment, and criticism and embrace compassion, joy, and gratitude. In that way, we will enjoy our life and make full out of it.

She lists down the best ways to win yourself again that is worth to share.

APPRECIATE HOW SPECIAL YOU ARE

You have created your own unique reality and are living your life according to your own unique path. YOU are the ONLY YOU that will ever be. You are kind of a big deal

2. DROWN YOURSELF IN AFFIRMATIONS

The more emotion you feel around what you're saying, the more power it will have to bring about positive change. And yes, at the beginning it may feel like you're lying to yourself, but the truth is, you're living the lie, so the affirmations get you back to truth

3. DO THINGS YOU LOVE

It's about being proactive about creating a life you love instead of meekly living the one you think you're stuck with. Give yourself the gift of joyous life while you're still among the living. You aren't selfish person for taking care of yourself, just a happier one

4. FIND A REPLACEMENT

The most important thing is to free yourself from the drama and the conviction that your current version of yourself is the truth. Do not spend your life clinging to the insulting decisions you've made about yourself. Instead, make the conscious choice to replace them with new and improved ones

5. DITCH THE SELF-DEPRECIATING HUMOR

What you tell yourself on a daily basis is more powerful that you know. Seemingly harmless jokes, over time, turn into seriously destructive beliefs.

6. LET THE LOVE IN

Take care of your body, too. The better our bodies feel, the happier and more productive we are

7. DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS

Comparison is the fastest way to take all the fun out of life. All that matters is that you're enjoying yourself and pleased with what you're creating. You are more than enough

8. FORGIVE YOURSELF

Dragging around guilt and self-criticism is beyond unhealthy and is utterly pointless, not to mention boring. You aren't a better person for feeling guilty or bad about yourself, just a sadder one. Guilt, shame, and self-criticism are some of the most destructive forces in your life, which is why forgiving yourself is one of the most powerful

9. LOVE YOURSELF

Because it's the Holy Grail of happiness

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These lists really struck me since I'm having a trouble in loving myself. I've spent a lot of years loathing myself, thinking why I'm not good enough. This book, specifically this part, makes me realize things.

[abscondingreality]

They said, “Love is a choice”

Hindi siya parang magic na dahil kayo yung pinagtagpo eh kayo na talaga. Lagi kong naaalala yung preach na wala naman talagang right person pr sayo. Di siya yung basta darating kaya gagawin mo eh maghihintay ka lang na dumating siya sa buhay mo. Kahit sino pwedeng maging right person as long as handa silang magpaka-right person sayo.

That’s why, I’ll choose you as long as kaya ko pang magmahal.

Pero sana ako pa rin laging pipiliin mo.

[abscondingreality]

“The past should be left in the past because it can destroy your future. Live your life for what tomorrow has to offer, not for what yesterday has taken away.”

— Unknown

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“That’s how you know you love someone, I guess, when you can’t experience anything without wishing the other person were there to see it, too.”

— Kaui Hart Hemmings

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Alam ko ang petty ng mga reasons ko bakit ako nainis. Actually kasalanan ko rin naman kung bakit ganun nangyari pero bawal ko bang mafeel to? Bakit kada mafefeel ko yubg ganito eh feel ko ang sama ko kasi reasonable naman ginagawa niya, na dapat di ako magalit or mainis? Tama si kyla. Di na ako yung kilala niya. Kasi clingy ako, gusto rin eh nakakausap ko kahit papaano pero di ko masabi sa kanya kasi ano magagawa ko? busy siya. Actually nasanay na kong di siya kausap. Kahit mga ikukuwento ko eh nakalimutan ko na. Pag nagchat ako, sure ako eh sobrang late na siya magrereply. Alam ko naman na di niya ko priority and ayaw ko rin kunin atensyon at oras niya pero ang hirap pala Na ako lang pwedeng mag-adjust, na ako lang pwedeng magbigay ng oras kahit saglit. Napapagod din ako pero mahal ko siya. Mahal na mahal to the point na di ko alam kung tama ba na nafefeel ko ang mapagod

[abscondingreality]

They said, having or using something too much is bad. Too much drinking, too much eating, even too much sleeping. Having too much can lead to addiction and once your addicted, you just don't know how to stop.

What if I said that I love you too much and I'm starting to get addicted of you. Is that bad?

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DI AKO BIBILING IPAD HANGGA'T DI AKO PUMAPAYAT! I NEED MOTIVATION TO LOSE WEIGHT HUHUHUHU

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Don't overthink.

Don't overthink.

Don't overthink.

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Wag kang umiyak, please

Wag kang umiyak, please

Wag kang umiyak, please

Wag kang umiyak, please

Aayawan ka lang kung masyado kang sensitive. Iiwan ka lang if madali kang masaktan or umiyak.

Wag kang umiyak, please

[abscondingreality]

Last week, yung tulog eh laging 4am-6pm tapos gigising ako ng 9am-10am. Gustong gusto ko matulog minsan sa hapon pero di ako makatulog dahil baka may magchat sakin or ipagawa. Sa gabi naman di ako makatog kahit sobrang pagod ko kasi iniisip ko na ang dami pang gagawin kaya ang ending eh 3am pa rin ako nakakatulog.

Kahapon nagpaalam ako na magleleave para makapagpahinga saglit pero parang implied na di ako pinayagan kasi may need muna akong tapusin bago ako payagan. Umalis pa rin ako pero pagbalik ko ng bahay eh nagwork agad ako. Kumain tapos work ulit.

Tapos nagfb at twitter ako ngayon, pumasok na naman mga insecurities ko. Yung feeling na bakit ganito lang ako, bakit feel ko eh ang failure ko. Pagod na pagod ako kakatrabaho pero still not enough para maramdaman ko na i've done enough, na magaling ako sa ginagawa ko.

Tapos mahal ko siya pero nag-ooverthink ako na parang di naman niya ko gusto. Eh marami siyang ginagawa at di ako pwede maging selfish na kukunin ko oras ng pahinga niya

Ngayong gabi, exactly 1am, nagbreakdown na ko. First breakdown for year 2022. Sobrang pagod na pagod na ko to the point na ayaw kong magpakita kahit kanino, ayaw kong makipag-usap. Gusto kong mapag-isa pero nalulungkot din ako pag mag-isa ako

Please, ayaw ko nang mafeel to

[abscondingreality]

I feel so lonely today. I don't know pero I feel unmotivated. Nag-ooverthink na naman ako about samin, about sa sarili ko at sa kakayahan ko. Naiiyak ako pero di ko maiyak.

Self, bear with it. Di sayo umiikot ang mundo at may sarili silang mundo at mga problema. Wag ka nang dumagdag pa sa stress nila, wag ka nang mang-abala

[abscondingreality]

Here's a quick peek on my journal