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absolutechippedtooth-blog · 8 years ago

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Please God, Be Kind Part 2 (Frank Castle x Reader)

“So tell me about this girl,” You murmured and slid into the bed next to Frank. There was a rare twinkle in his eye that was accompanied by a goofy grin. It was rare to see quiet and introverted Frank a little bashful and star eyed. This was a side so few people had seen. To most it would have seemed odd. To you it was like Christmas come early to see him happy.

“Damn she was-” He trailed and just looked out the window of your shared apartment. “She was beautiful. And witty too, she gave as good as she got.” Laughing you patted his shoulder and smiled. Frank Castle had it bad for a woman he had just met. It was good to see him happy.

“What’s her name?” You asked. The bottle of whiskey that sat open between you found its way to his lips.

“Maria,” He stated and his voice dropped low, “Mark my words, I’m going to marry that woman.”

Frank was rarely wrong. This time was no exception. Maria was soon Mrs. Castle. The biggest thing had been introducing the two of you. Maria was worried that you wouldn’t like her, being the best friend and all. You were worried that she would get territorial due to the fact that you were another woman. Turns out it was Frank who should have been worried. The two of you got along too damn well. First of all Maria was remarkably intelligent and observant; there was little that happened around her that she didn’t notice and she had a good sense of humor. There were some nights when the two of you would go out and drink. The stories that she could tell about her shitty boss or parents could last for hours. Those were the good times. Things got tense when you got deployed. As a corpsman you were responsible for keeping soldiers alive and this time it looked like your deployment would last a little longer than usual. Frank was nervous and was fretting about. The two of you had been close for a very long time and he didn’t enjoy being separated from you. But you had a duty to your country and the men who served it.

“Frank.” You embraced him, “Everything is going to be fine,” He looked at you like he wasn’t sure if that was true or not. You were capable of taking care of yourself but that didn’t mean that everyone else would have your back.

“You call whenever you get a chance and you stay alert. I just got a bad feeling about this one, yeah? Got it?” He pressed his forehead to yours and you nodded.

“C’mon, you know I’m not going to be doing anything too dangerous.” You slung your pack over your back went to Maria. She was standing off to the side with a sad smile on her face. Leaning in, you kissed her cheek.

“Make sure this one doesn’t do anything too stupid,” You told her and she laughed.

_______________________________________________________________

Your arms were numb. It had been at least a couple of hours since the last time your feet had touched the ground. The air was stale and acrid. There was no windows and the doorway wasn’t visible from your current position. Frank had been right. Something had gone wrong, terribly wrong. The intelligence your unit had been given was wrong. You should have never taken the position as specialized unit’s medic. The simple mission, it had left your squad mates dead. A simple mission had gone to utter shit and now you were strung up and bleeding. The men around you were speaking a language you could catch a few words of but didn’t completely understand. A knife was pressed to your bare belly and you didn’t have the energy to flinch away. Maria, what would she be doing right now? Laundry? Cooking lunch or dinner? Maybe taking a walk through the park? What would you give to have to eat some of her cooking?

“Where is the rest of your squad located?” One of the men asked, voice heavily accented. Rolling your head back, you looked at the cracks in the ceiling.

“Six feet under considering that the entirety of my squad was with me when I was captured.” You told him. A strike the knife left you gasping. Blood ran down your bruised torso. The man’s face was filled with fury. Fortunately you could take a fair amount of abuse. It was nothing new. This didn’t even rival some of the beatings your own father could dish out back in the day.

“No your unit was too small,” He told her. Looking at him, you pursed your lips in a thin line. It was time to make a choice. You thought of Frank and his big smile and crooked nose. You thought of Maria and her soft laugh. You thought of the love you felt when you were near them and took a deep breath.

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you,” You stated and kept the tremble out of your voice, “I’m just a medic.” What came next was series of punches against already broken ribs. When the fire under skin stopped burning you opened your eyes and narrowed them.

“You will die here,” The man stated and twirled the knife, an odd tick. A bloody smile crossed your face and you spat the blood in your mouth to the ground.

“I know,”

It turned out that they didn’t plan on killing you that or next or even the day after that. It had to have been more than a month now. The problem it seemed was that they thought you had information that you absolutely did not. Dragged out of your small cell you gazed at the halls. By now you had the route memorized. Two rights and then a left and you would be strung up, beaten senseless, and then returned to your cell. They had recently gotten creative. The starvation wasn’t too bad. Nor was the drowning if you were being honest. It was the lack of sleep that was starting to get to you. It was the lack of sunlight. Today was particularly bad. Right. Right. Left. The rattle of chains. The unnerving feeling of being lifted off the ground. Then you were met with silence. Opening your eyes you leveled the man you had become rather well acquainted with a cold stare.

“Getting’ bored?” You asked. He said nothing and looked at you. Today there was no knife in his hand. There was no other instrument that he could cut you open with either. That meant one of two things. It would either be his hands or something far less pleasant.

“I just find it interesting that you have lasted as long as you have. Whether you tell us the information or not does not change the outcome of what happens here.” The man walked over to the table at the far end of the room and picked up a blowtorch. Letting out the bitter breath you had been holding in, you adjusted and gripped the chains above the manacles. The sound of the gas being flicked on and ignited sounded like a bomb going off. It smelled.

“Well I’m nothing if not stubborn.” The man approached you and put a steadying hand on your hip, hands strangely gentle. Panicked breath left your body as he leaned in.

“True, but we’ve reached the end of the line.” Those cold eyes studied you and you knew that this time it was true. Steadying yourself, you looked the man in the eyes.

“Well let’s get on with it then. It’s rude to lead a girl on,” You pursed your lips and looked at the wall with words of goodbye stuck at the back of your throat. When the flame licked at your skin you didn’t bother to hold back the screams.

Everything fucking hurt. The man tipped your chin up and you met his gaze. The subtle respect you saw there was surprising.

“Would you prefer a knife or gun?” He asked and you choked. It was the first real choice you’d had in a month and the freedom of it was a bitter pill to swallow.

“I think I’ll take the gun,” You choked out and let your eyes close. There were familiar sounds. The sound of a magazine being inserted. The sound of the slide being pulled back. A bullet entering the chamber. The sound of gunfire…the screams of men screaming. Opening your eyes you saw that the man was standing at the door pistol raised before he glanced at you. Please, you thought, be stupid. It turns out the man was a lot dumber than you originally thought. Walking towards you, he pressed the gun to your stomach. Clearly he was intent on taking you hostage. When the door opened and the end of a rifle appeared he glanced away.

“You move, she dies!” He called out and turned his body towards the door. Snarling you lifted yourself up and wrapped your legs around his neck. The gun dropped from his hands and you squeezed. Hands ripped at your thighs, trying to loosen your grip.

“Or you will,” You stated. The soldier on the other side of the doorway entered the room. Twisting your hips you snapped your torturer’s neck and let him slide to the ground. The soldier was watching you with something like awe and grabbed the keys. When he got to you, he assessed where would be the best to grab you. His eyes and hair were dark. The uniform he wore was that of the Marines. Gripping your hips he lifted you gently to alleviate some of the pressure and unlocked the first manacle. Slumping forwards you rested against his body as he repeated the action with your other hand.

“I got ya,” He said and carried you out the door. You breathed in the smell of him. Sand and sweat.

“Castle I got her,” The soldier who rescued you stated as you entered the main room. It was impossible but you lifted you head. Frank fucking Castle stood less than three feet from you. Reaching out, you made a noise at the back of your throat. The gun in his hand hit the floor and you were gently removed from the other soldier’s arms.

“Curtis!” Frank yelled frantically, “Curtis get in here!” You reached up and traced your fingers over the tip of his nose and jaw.

“Hi,” You smiled. There were a number of things you wanted to say. There were things you should have been embarrassed about. The fact that you were nearly naked and completely broken in a room full of Marines was one of them. But you were safe, Frank was here. It was laughable really that his unit was the one who found you.

“Hi,” He answered and wiped tears away with his free hand. A man you assumed was Curtis entered the room and you saw that he was a corpsman. You were injured, right. Everything was just kind of numb at this point.

“None of that,” You murmured and offered a small smile as you were eased to the ground. What came next was a blur. You were sure that Curtis got you comfortable and stable. You were sure that there was a helicopter ride. You were sure that you heard Frank whispering soft words in your ear.

________________________________________________________________

Frank was next to your bed when you woke up, dead asleep. Smiling fondly, you tried to sit up. Instead you fell back against the pillows and let out a grunt. Frank was startled out of sleep and looked around before his gaze settled on you. The warmth of his eyes settled over you.

“I feel like shit,” You told him and let out a shaky breath. Snorting, he got a hand under your head and the other under your thighs to help you sit up. The dryness of your throat was clearly apparent because he handed you a glass of water. You murmured your thanks and chugged it.

“Easy there birdy,” His voice was low and gentle; “You aren’t exactly in the best shape right now.” The burns were still fresh enough to sting and your ribs ached but overall you felt great. It was then that the soldier who’d gotten you out of the room that day entered your temporary abode.

“Frank-” He paused when he saw you sitting upright. Now that you weren’t delirious from a culmination of awful things you could see that he had an angular face with high cheek bones. The shape of his mouth was full and he had dark and wickedly intelligent eyes. Without thinking you blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

“Well you’re the prettiest thing I’ve seen in a month,” Immediately you grimaced and Frank burst into laughter. Now that you really thought about it, there was the haze of morphine at the back of you consciousness. Drugs always made you irreverent and chatty. “Sorry,” You said to the soldier at the door. The whole time Frank was laughing before the other soldier gave a small chuckle.

“It’s an honor ma’am.” He extended his hand and you took it in your own, “Billy Russo,” Even his name sounded nice. Frank had mentioned him more than once, he had your best friend’s back. There was a tick before Frank cleared his throat and ran his fingers through your hair.

“Well corpsman, it is my absolute pleasure to inform you that you will be going home as soon as you’re fit to fly.” Frank had that soft sound to his voice but his eyes were trembling with rage. Not at you, never at you. Reaching out you patted his cheek, fingers lingering. Don’t be angry, the action reminded him, I am safe.

“Franky, I can honestly say that day can’t come soon enough.” It was unspoken, how scared you were. The wounds might be healing but it wasn’t like you were actually okay. “When do you get to come home?” When will you come back so I can feel safe again? The two of you had a way of communicating without words, something that Billy seemed to pick up on immediately.

“Eh, we will be done within the next couple of months. Maybe sooner.” Billy told you and smiled gently. “Turns out the three of us are from the same area. Might even see you when we get back.” You appreciated that he was making the situation a little less grim, tense.

“Well, I figure that I owe you a drink considering that you gave me the opening to kill that fucker.” You adjusted your position and looked Billy dead in the eyes, “Thank you, I mean it.” He shrugged.

“Let’s just get you home, then you can buy me a drink.”

________________________________________________________________

The flight home felt like an eternity. You didn’t like that Frank was still in the desert but you felt better now that you could put a face to the name Billy Russo. You were under the distinct impression that the two of them were close, that was good. When the plane touched down and you walked from the plane, through the airport, and into the lobby you took a series of deep breaths. Maria saw you before you saw her. The sound of her heels clicking on the stone floor alerted you to her presence. Arms wrapped around you and you tucked your head into her neck. Peaches and honey. Home. She still smelled the same and you gripped your arms around her tightly. Both of you cried, right there in the middle of the airport. It had to have been a funny sight. You couldn’t give a damn.

“You look good!” You clutched her cheeks between your hands and she smiled so brightly it hurt.

“Not so bad yourself,” She chuckled, “Frank made it sound like you were coming back looking like a corpse.” Leave it to Frank not spare any details of what had happed. “Now what do you want to do tonight?” She asked you.

“Honestly, I just want to go home and have a bottle of wine and a hot bath.” You slung your pack over your back and walked out into the cool New York air. It still smelled the same. Like a ruthless combination of gasoline and snow.

“That sounds perfect,”

That night you ate greasy pizza and drank an entire bottle of wine. Maria helped you in the bath and you had never loved her more than when she didn’t stare at the scars marring your body. Even you couldn’t look at them. Maria washed your hair, nails dragging your scalp.

“So I have something I need to tell you but you can’t tell Frank that I did.” She rinsed out the conditioner whilst shielding your eyes. Honestly that made you nervous. Frank could read you like a cheap book.

“Okay,” You answered. Ride or die, you would support her.

“Well, Frank got some leave two months ago.” You remember telling him to go have fun, take his wife on a date, “We’re pregnant,” Maria blurted out. Head whipping around, you looked at her face. She was trying rather poorly to hide the grin on her face.

“That son of a bitch,” You breathed out. Naked as the day you born , you wrapped your arms around her and kissed her cheek. Water soaked through her shirt and Maria laughed loudly. “Congratulations Maria,” You told her. Maybe things were meant to be this way.

A month later Frank got home with Billy Russo hot on his heels. When he announced that Maria was pregnant, you tried to conceal the fact that you already knew. Son of a bitch saw right through it and scowled the entire night. At least Billy was surprised.

________________________________________________________________

“Okay,” You murmured and cut straight through Frank’s shirt. There was a solid eight inch gash from belly button to the middle of his torso. Accompanying that were a number of nasty looking bruises. “You tell me that you’re alive by breaking into my house and bleeding on my brand new god damn white sofa. Really Frank?” You gritted your teeth. There was nothing broken or puncture from what you could tell. Reaching into the medical kit you kept, you set up a line between the two of you. Along with everything else you to shared, Frank had the same blood type. Next came the morphine and lidocaine. Threading the needle through his wound, you stitched it shut with practiced fingers.

“Didn’t want to put you in danger,” He murmured softly and you gripped his chin tightly. Looking him in the eye, you growled.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” You told him. At this point the two of you were soaked in blood, him more than you. The air felt heavy with the tension of words that needed to be said and the state his body was in. You didn’t care how he got here. You didn’t care how he was alive. You just cared that he was safe and in your living room.

After you had cleaned up the living room and given him as much blood as you could manage, you stumbled into the kitchen. Food and water, you needed to get both of your blood sugars up and keep him hydrated. Soup would be the easiest but you settled on grilled cheese. The sound of him shuffling into the room was almost startling. The thoughts in your head were too loud. Turning, you saw him standing there shirtless watching you.

“Were you ever going to tell me you were alive?” You clinched your jaw and helped him settle on top of the bar stool. You already knew the answer.

“No,” He was different now, all the humor and softness was gone. In its place was a stone cold expression and an unbreakable rage. Angrily you turned away and settled a plate of food in front of him and a glass of orange juice.

“Eat,” You ordered, “Then I am getting you into the shower and after that you are going to sleep for no less than eight hours. Am I clear?” Frank nodded and took a bite of his grilled cheese, closing his eyes.

“Am I clear?” You repeat desperate to hear his voice.

“Yes ma’am,”

________________________________________________________________

Getting him into the shower, you left him alone. Settling into bed you brought your knees to your chest and sobbed. Not because you were sad. Relief was washing over you. The phone beside your bed rang and you froze. Billy’s name showed up on caller ID and you answered.

“Hello,” You answered and somehow managed to keep the tremble out of your voice.

“Why do you sound upset,” Damn it Billy. Pausing for a mere second, you cleared your throat.

“Just had a bit too much to drink that’s all,” It wasn’t like your drinking habit was bad but it was significant enough that the excuse was believable.

“Do you need me to come over?” He asked and in the background you could hear him set down a glass of what was likely his own liquor. Sighing you looked out the window. You knew he would love to see Frank too but you wouldn’t risk it. Never again would you ever risk something that might put Frank in danger. It was clear who had been shooting up the gangs now.

“No, I just need to be alone tonight Billy. I’ll call you in the morning, have a good night.” You hung up the phone and set it on the bed.

“You and Billy huh,” Frank said from the doorway. He leaned against the frame, arms crossed. It was so familiar, like no time at all had passed. You smiled bitterly.

“Not really,” You told him as he stepped into the room. “Just when I’m feeling shitty and he’s feeling self-deprecating,” You didn’t tell him that his other best friend had fallen in love with you. You didn’t tell him that you used Billy just to feel some nights.

“Well I believe you ordered me to get some sleep,” He said softly and his voice sounded incredibly raw, like he had swallowed an entire pack of razors. “You want me in the guest room or here?” Did he even need to ask? Flipping back the covers you took his hand and helped him ease down onto the mattress. Muscles taught, he seemed unsure of how to respond to your touch. Whether to flinch away or lean into it.

“Just let me hold you,” You pleaded and guided him to lie against your chest. The softest of breaths tickled your skin. One of his hands was under your back and the other gripped your shoulder. Lightly you carded your fingers through his short hair. He said nothing but his hands trembled and his body shook with silent sobs. You just held him tight. Never intending to let go. “I got you.” You spoke softly as his grip tightened. I’ve got you and not a damn thing could take you from me, you thought.

Frank fell asleep on your chest, breathing slow and even. The smell of him was in your nose, it hadn’t changed. It was impossible to move. The trap of his arms was tight and sure. Sleep was evasive though. Memories of a happier time tried to fight past the trauma. Glancing at the clock you saw the number 4:05 on the face and sighed. There was no point in bothering to go to work. You wouldn’t be able to focus and that wouldn’t benefit anyone. Grabbing the phone you dialed the number for your boss and hummed when she picked up.

“Hey,” You murmured quietly and cleared your throat, “I’m not feeling to great, food poisoning I think. You gonna be good if I don’t show up today.” You had never missed a day of work so your boss let you off easy. She wished you well and hung up. Frank nuzzled against your neck and hummed low in his throat.

“Food poisoning huh?” He questioned sleepily. Sliding lower into the bed, you shushed him softly and went back to stroking his hair.

“I said eight hours,” He chuckled softly and your heart broke. Behind that pain was still your best friend. Quietly he adjusted his hold on you, cradling you frame against his. Frank was always affectionate. It had raised some eyebrows from your unit, including Billy. You had assured them that Frank was nothing more than your best friend and work-husband. It was hugs and friendly touches. And on the bad nights he would lay next to you. You would lie on your stomach, his hands tracing your spine. His head would be on the pillow next to yours, both of you speaking softly. You would run your hands over his hair, his nose. Tonight you lay on you back, eyes on the door. Watching his back. What hurt was that he was letting you. He was just that damn tired. That damn broken. Anything that came through that door would be dead before they could blink. Nothing, absolutely nothing would take him from you.

#frank castle x reader #blood and gore #Sad people just trying to be happy #Frank castle

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absolutechippedtooth-blog · 8 years ago

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Please God, Be kind Part 1 (Billy Russo x Reader)

You were their medic. Through all of it. All the blood. All the gore. All the suffering. You were there for all of it. But then again you had always been there, right by Frank’s side. You had been there when Frank had broken his first bone in the fourth grade. You had been there when his first girlfriend had busted the windows of his car. You had stood next to him at his wedding, Maria had looked so beautiful. Lisa and Frank Jr. were your god children, both of them spitting images of their parents. The house you bought after your first deployment was directly next to theirs. Once Frank had been place in his new squad, he had mentioned…politely to the higher ups that you be a good addition to the team. Your special ability earned you your place and your combat skills and medical knowledge solidified it. It had been perfect at first, being back with your family. Now it was all shit. It was shit orders. It was shit situations. At least there was Frank and Billy. The two of them were the high points during your day.

It was rare to get any down time. But apparently the universe decided your unit deserved a little bit of freedom. It was mid-morning. You, Frank, and Billy were lounging around and just enjoying some of the rare quiet. The broken heart. You think you will die, but you just keep living, day after day after terrible day.

“Are you telling me you’ve never been to a strip club?” Billy sputtered out. Rolling your eyes, you sat down the copy of Great Expectations you were reading. It had been a favorite since childhood. It was rare to find simple comforts anymore.

“No Billy, I really haven’t.” You sat up and glanced over at Frank who had an absolutely dumb grin on his face. The man never passed up a chance to make you feel slightly bashful, something Billy had picked up on far too quickly. The two of them together were nearly unbearable. “I joined the military right out of high school and I never really got interested in all of that until I was much older,” You told him. Billy laughed, a warm a gentle sound. It was in the quiet moment when there was no gunfire or mortars rattling the earth that they both looked their age. You on the other hand looked young and small in comparison, the only woman in your unit. The men close to you were respectful but still treated you different. Frank at least had the balls to let you fight your own battles and hit you just as hard as the boys. Billy tried but wasn’t quite as successful.

“Well that didn’t stop you from giving Tommy Hanes a lap dance the last time we were on leave. Bill you should have seen her,” Frank stated with a shit eating grin on his face. You could always count on him not to pull his punches. “Dressed in a pretty little lace number and moving to the music like a pro. Your face when I walked in-priceless.” Whipping around you launched yourself off your cot and onto his chest. Pillow raise, you beat him with it.

“Now that is a sight I would have loved to have seen,” Billy laughed loudly and you groaned. Frank grinned and shoved you off of him, landing roughly on the floor. Billy peered over the edge of the cot at you.

“Laugh it up Russo. I could absolutely destroy you. Frank, just remember I talk to your wife once a week,” The threat made both men laugh. You might be living in hell on earth but at least you had them.

________________________________________________________________

“Listen here you cunt,” You growled at the woman standing before you. She reminded you of a snake, eyes narrowed and lips pulled into a tight line. The expensive suit she wore did nothing but add to the impression with its shade of dark green. Reyes looked at you like you were a something to be stepped on or rolled over. “Where the hell is Frank?” You snarled and looked the cold woman in the eyes. The Reyes leaned back looking you over. She stood nearly five inches taller than you, doing what everyone did at first. Look down at you and sneer.

“Frank Castle is in this exact hospital,” Ms. Reyes spoke evenly, “With a gunshot wound to the head,” she explained and watched as you stood with agonizing care.

“You think I am not aware of that. I was there.” The bullets from three separate guns had shredded your body. It had been days since the incident and you hadn’t seen a single face other than Reyes and her goons. The funny thing was, that she was supposed to be justice. And you had the distinct impression that you wouldn’t be getting any. You were left to mourn the loss of one of your best friends and her children in silence. No one would say a damn word about Frank. At one point the staff of the hospital had to sedate you to keep you from breaking out of the room. Now you were just pissed. You had the fury of a thousand suns and not a single fuck to give. There was nothing left to lose. What was Reyes going to do, arrest you?

“Take me to him,” You demanded. Reyes adjusted and squared her shoulders. In that moment she looked like a child trying to square up against a mountain. If there was one thing that you were known for it was blatant stubbornness. You were already ready for a fight when she spoke.

“No,” She stated, “Mr. Castle is intensive care and the subject of a gang shooting. We cannot permit him any visitors.” Lip curling in disgust, you advanced on her in slow movements. The pain shooting up your side and back stung like a bitch. It felt like there was a thousand needles stirring in your lungs.

“Quite frankly Ms. Reyes you and I both know that is bullshit. As Frank’s medical power of attorney, I have the authority to make his medical decision should he or Maria be unable to. So far not a single staff member has asked for my input and I am pretty sure that a gunshot wound to the head requires quite a bit of treatment, considering that I am in fact a doctor. You must think me either too stupid or too traumatized not to question you but I am. And I am about two seconds of putting you in a bed right next to his. Take me to him!” You seethed at her. Those cold eyes narrowed once again.

By the time you were wheeled to his room Frank Castle had been pronounced dead and you had never felt more empty.

“Get in the tub,” Billy said and stood over you, dark eyes studying your hunkered form. It had been two months, two impossible months. It felt like there was something missing. It was like all of the joy that once filled your home was gone. All the love and compassion you once exuded had been frozen out of you.

_______________________________________________________________

“I can’t,” You murmured. It had been days since your last shower or since Billy had heard from you. The man had let himself in and had started a bath as soon as he got in. At one point in time the two of you had been something. You had both been Frank’s best friends. You had both been god parents. You had both been dancing around a relationship for almost a decade. And now what were you?

Yanking off the covers, Billy hoisted you over his shoulder. Fight or flight kicked in and you screamed and struggled against his hold. You pitched and utter fit as he made his way to the bathroom. Once in, Billy unceremoniously dumped you on the cold tile floor and knelt down. Everything felt raw and wrong. Like you were burning with cold fire.

“Are you done?” He asked, breathing hard. You turned away from him to stare at the olive walls in defiance. Long fingers gripped your chin and forced you to look at him. There was something in his eyes, dark and unfamiliar. “Are. You. Done?” He gritted out. Standing you tried to shove past him, an arm wrapped around you and sent you stumbling back into the water. Resurfacing, you gasped and pushed wet hair out of your eyes. Furious, you looked up at Billy.

“Is there any point in fighting me now? You’re already all wet.” The man had a point but you were petty. For a brief moment there was silence. Tears started prickling at the corner of your eyes as you looked up at Billy. Kneeling down once more, he shed the jacket he was wearing and rolled up his sleeves. “Let me help you out of your clothes, I know you’re still sore.” You choked on a sob and lifted your arms above your head. The wet tee-shirt went over your head and Billy tossed it over his shoulder carelessly. Then came the loose pajama bottoms you had been wearing for days. They met the same fate as the shirt. It wasn’t Billy’s first time seeing you naked. The desert left little room for privacy. It was however the first time he was seeing you naked in such an intimate setting. Every old scar and fresh wound felt like a soft spot for him to study and abuse. Instead gentle fingers caressed your cheek.

“Let me help you,” He said and his familiar voice was what finally released the pressure that had been building and building over the past few weeks. Sobs wracked your body, covering your face with your hands you let all the pain seep out. Gentle hands ran over and through your hair.

“I’m sorry,” You choked out and looked at him. Reaching across you, Billy grabbed the soap from the other side of the tub. Reaching into the water he gripped your hand tightly.

“I know”

The two of you stayed like that for a while. Billy ran the soap over your body, hands gentle. Then he scrubbed you clean, rubbing the skin red. As if he could erase all the blood you had been drenched in when he arrived at the hospital. He was both yours and Frank’s emergency contact after Maria. He had been there as you struggled to breathe through the blood and choked sobs. You could remember the look on his face as the doctors wheeled you away. You never stopped reaching out for him in hopes that he could take the pain away. The blood was all but gone, just a memory. It had been months. That didn’t seem to stop him from trying. Then came your hair. Dunking your head under the water, the silence became more and more appealing. Those hands lifted you out of the water. Long fingers rubbed shampoo in your oily hair and then Billy repeated the action with conditioner. It was the only kindness, the only gentleness you had been shown in weeks.

“I-” You tried to speak, voice catching at the back of your throat. “We were at the carousal, like always. The picnic. Frank had been insisting I come with them. You know I had been struggling since our last deployment. Said it would do me good to get out of the house.” You couldn’t look at Billy. It would be too much. No one had wanted to say it but you had very clearly exhibiting symptoms of PTSD, on top of everything else you had already been depressed. Frank had insisted that some time with Maria and the kids would be good for you. Lisa had been all smiles, leading you around the park. Maria followed behind, watching everything like she always did; she was damn observant. And Frank had been somewhere in the background laughing, watching you play like a child.

“Which direction did the gunshots come from?” Billy asked and suddenly it was easier to disassociate. Just like a mission debrief. The taste of the beer you had been drinking and smell of the grass were so vivid.

“The footsteps came from behind me, so they were coming towards Frank. The funny thing is, neither one of us reacted. Lisa was talking about school, she was the best at science this year; talked about bein’ a doctor someday. The first gunshot came from the front. It hit me here.” You pressed your fingertips to the new scar near your collar bone. What was puzzling was why that specific bullet had been from a M40 rifle; it was what Marine snipers used. It was possible that one of the gangs had gotten their hands on military weapons but it just smelled wrong. It was a detail that you kept to yourself. Pursing your lips, you refocused and took a deep breath. “Then it became a fire fight. Lisa was hit next, one to the temple and two to the back of her skull, all from different guns. Frank grabbed her…wrapped her up in his arms. The look on his face…I went for Frank Jr. shielded him with my body. Frank got shot.” Your fingers traced near your temple. Frank had gone down fast. The scream you had let out had was rising back into your throat. Billy tipped your head and forced you to look at him.

“You couldn’t have saved them,” He assured you. A bitter smile ran across your face before you could stop it.

“I couldn’t save them, but I was able to take their pain,” Your ability was so simple. With a single touch you could steal pain numbing anyone to whatever was causing it. Frank Jr. hadn’t felt a thing as he bled into the grass. “They fired two rounds that went through me and into Frank Jr... Maria was the last to go. Billy, the blood was spilling out of her. They hit her so many damn times. She died choking on her own blood,” Billy didn’t say anything, instead helped you rinse the conditioner out of your hair and then pulled the stopper. On shaky legs you stood, everything felt worse, like you were bleeding again.

With extreme care Billy ran a towel over your skin and helped you back to the bedroom. Pulling open drawer you slid on a pair of shorts, not even bothering with underwear. A tank top came next, the fabric smelled like lavender and jasmine. Sliding under the covers, you heard Billy kick off his shoes. Scooting over you made room. He had always been silent on his feet like a shadow. Sliding in next to you, he sighed deeply. It wasn’t that either of you couldn’t find the words. It was that there was both too much and nothing at all to say. You wanted to scream out words that were caught at the back of your throat. Billy didn’t want to say a damn thing. Leaning across the bed he opened up your bedside table.

“I knew you’d have tequila in here,” He snorted and he seemed younger. The two of you had always been drinking buddies. “Now drink and tell me stories you were always scared to tell about Frank.” Frank had been your best friend since you were six. The stories you could tell. Chugging as much tequila as you could manage, you passed the bottle and rested your head on Billy’s shoulder. The harsh liquid stung your throat.

“Did he ever tell you about the time I got my ass handed to me by a nun because Frank set our classroom on fire?” You asked, the burn of liquor heated and pooled in your belly. Billy laughed softly.

“Good old Frank, he would never. Such a good Catholic boy.” Rolling your eyes you curled into Billy’s side, breathing in his scent and told your stories. The words came easy, they felt sweet on your tongue. It was a stark contrast against the tequila. It was the best you’d felt in weeks.

________________________________________________________________

It was dark outside when you’d killed the bottle with Billy. The two of you had slid farther down in the bed, your head rested on his chest. The gentle hands that had been touching you all day rubbed warm circles against your back. Tilting your head up, you glanced over his face. Billy had always been beautiful, it was almost unnatural. You reached up and traced a finger down the length of his nose and over his lips. Wrapping a hand around your wrist he placed a kiss to your palm.

“You’re beautiful,” He murmured soft and sweet. His words felt like a blanket covering you in warmth. Leaning in you let your lips trace his neck. Soft and gentle he rolled over your body and looked down at you. Shadows cast his face in a stunning light. These were the moments when he always seemed to come alive.

“Are you going to kiss me or just stare at me Russo?” And he did, he kissed you with something indescribable. As his teeth sank into your bottom lip and his hand slipped into your shorts, you came to a realization. Billy Russo loved you. He spoke soft words against your neck as his fingers slid inside you. Arching your back you rolled your hips and chased a feeling. It was wrong. You were drunk and you didn’t love him. You didn’t really think you could ever love someone again. Closing your eyes, you tipped you head back and just gave into the feeling.

________________________________________________________________

“C’mon, it’ll be a blast. Just us girls and well James,” One of the nurses on staff pleaded. Glancing up you were met with her big brown eyes and sweet smile. It had been a long week. Casualties and victims of mass shootings had been rolling into the emergency room in droves. That didn’t bother you. You had been to war. What was bothersome was who the victims were. The Irish, the Mexicans, and the Dogs of Hell. Every time you stood over them trying to staunch the bleeding of a bullet wound you wondered if they had been the one who had ended your life, ended the lives of the Castle family. Worst of all, you didn’t feel bad when they died. You didn’t take their pain. You didn’t flinch as they choked on blood or screamed in agony.

“I’m good Lena,” You murmured quietly. You were one of the few doctors who spent time with the nurses. The women and a few of the men had become quite fond of you. Because the number one rule of the medical field was and always would be to never underestimate the power of the nurses.

“Please,” She pleaded, “You don’t have to drink or anything. Just come out with us, eat some greasy food and talk.” That was the last thing you wanted to do. That had been yours and Frank’s thing. It was reserved for particularly shitty nights. Shrugging your shoulder and standing you eyed the woman.

“I am a sad drunk and I’m quiet,” You told her evenly, “I won’t be good company but I’ll go.”

The bar was a dive. Walking up to the bar you smiled. The sourly woman seemed to recognize one of her own and gave you a nod.

“What’ll it be ma’am ?” She asked you. Without hesitation you ordered a whiskey on the rocks and thought of Frank. The man loved his whiskey but occasionally Maria could actually convince him some girly beverage. The first time he had tried a strawberry daiquiri and wrinkled up his nose had been one of the best nights. The man had always indulged his wife. Once you received your drink you returned to your table and sat with the nurses. It was easy to observe them. Their problems so petty. One of them was having trouble with a boyfriend. Another was worried about having enough for rent.

“You served overseas didn’t you?” James, the male nurse asked. Self-consciously you tucked your dog tags into your shirt and nodded.

“Yes I served a little over ten years,” You told them cautiously, “Eight years with a single unit.” The memories of sand and blood were coming to the surface despite having been buried for so long.

“Damn, was readjusting back to civilian life hard?” A grimace crossed your face and once more you nodded.

“I’m naturally not the most friendly or outgoing of sorts. A bit introverted, but you know that. It took a long time before I was comfortable leaving my neighborhood. It took my goddaughter dragging-” The words stopped flowing out your mouth before you could catch them. It was rare for you to lose yourself like that. Lisa and Frank Jr. were not a subject you brought up freely. The therapist you had been seeing had to drag information about them out of you.

“I didn’t know you had a goddaughter,” Lena stated surprised. Eyes falling to the table, you pictured Lena asking about boys and love. The details of your personal life you would never give up freely. For a grown woman she had a remarkably romanticize view of the world. You tried to picture the happy times.

“She and her entire family were killed during the central park shooting between the gangs,” You stated simply, trying to make it clear that the subject was off limits. Everyone at the table had stopped talking and they were staring at you. Realization seemed to sink in that the criminals you had been patching up all week had been responsible for the murders of your family.

“Were you there?” Lena exclaimed in horror. absent-mindedly you touched the scar near your collarbone, it was the only one that was near impossible to hide.

“Yes,” You told them, “I was the only survivor,”

“Jesus christ,”

Saying goodbye to everyone, you made your way back to your house. Unlocking the front door, something was immediately wrong. The air smelled off, like blood. Slipping your hand into your purse you pulled your pistol out and clicked the safety off. There was already one in the chamber and you were more than ready to plug whoever was in your house full of holes. It could be a simple home intrusion or one of the gangs coming back to finish the job. The lights were in the living room were one and your heart fell into your stomach when you saw who was bleeding out on your couch. Frank castle lay bleeding on your pristine white furniture, eyes closed. Opening and closing your mouth, you tried to find something to say.

“Hey little bird,” He called out the old nickname and you burst into tears.

“You fucking dick!”

#Billy Russo x Reader #Pre-Frank Castle X reader #blood and gore

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