abstractmentality

[abstractmentality]

Things change for the better when we take responsibility for our own thoughts, decisions and actions | aidenawhite

Location: San Diego, California, United States

[abstractmentality]

[abstractmentality]

Monday’s aren’t so bad once they’re over. But they linger. I guess I’ll start here. This is me. Alex. I am a carpenter/machine operator for a very prosperous company in the Silicon Valley. I’m 23 years old and have really made my mark here. I’m extremely quiet. Not by choice. But because I was cursed with extreme social anxiety. Ask my boyfriend. He’s lived through them with me. Part of the reason I feel so anxious is because I am gay and work in a male dominated work place. I have never felt like more of an outcast in my life. Do they know I’m gay? I’m not sure. They don’t ask for the fear of sexual harassment. So we keep it professional. The problem? It’s affecting my life greatly. I’d love to tell them but I don’t know how different life here would be. It’s like time has stood still here. Maybe one day I will come out and be my fabulous self. But for now I’m Alex the quiet guy.

[abstractmentality]

“Keep your dreams to yourself until you are strong enough to defend them, for they are easily destroyed by the comments of others.”

— Jerry Corsten

[abstractmentality]

Does anyone truly understand what Monday’s are like? Coming from severe social anxiety, Monday’s feel like panic attack. My coworkers start work ready to talk about how their weekend went, what they did and what hot girls they’ve seen or did the deed with. However there’s one secret that plagues me and makes me the outlier. I’m GAY. And in these situations I freeze and fear for my life if they were to find out. Working In all male workplace has its peaks, but ultimately I never feel like i fit in.