ac-schryver - Tumblr blog

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Dead beat dad part two: I’m might be dead but

Alastor: Would you like to explain why you won’t let us leave?

America: Because I’m not unleashing demons, more importantly the Bayou Cannibal of New Orleans on normal people!

Lucifer: You’re not worried about me?

America: I put Duck Tales on and you haven’t moved. I’m not worried about out you.

Japan: But this is Lucifer?

America: -holds up Donald Duck plush-

Lucifer: There’s plushies?!

Alastor: Stop giving him things related to ducks! I didn’t even know Disney did ducks? Where’s Oswald or Mickey? I don’t know this character?

America: Keeping Alastor here is the goal. The devil won’t leave unless Alastor does. Which gives us time to keep trying to call…

England: America, what the hell do you mean; you summoned the Devil and his assistant?

America: I was trying to summon Russia like you do!

Alastor: No, no, I’m not His Majesty’s assistant! I’m the Host of the Hazbin Hotel, owned by His Majesty’s daughter, Princess Charlie Morningstar! The name’s Alastor! Pleasure to meet you, quite the pleasure, but I must say when my dear friend Alfred talked of you I imagined less eyebrows.

England: excuse me!?

Lucifer: huh, we need popcorn: this is going to be good. -snaps bucket into existence- Want some?

America: -takes handful and munches on it by piece- Huh, I didn’t think he remembered.

Japan: -takes a few pieces- The Anti-Christ is a girl?

Lucifer: Is that what they call my daughter?

America: I’m pretty sure Jesus and what was her name, Charlie?, would totes get along.

England: What would a serial killer now about me?! America, you let yourself get caught?!

Alastor: Oh, you think I’m so unskilled to get one of you, Jack?

England: My name’s not Jack? It’s Arthur!

Alastor: of course it’s not! My apologies!, even though I’m positive I’m staring at Jack the Ripper’s face!

America: This tea is so hot!

England: You son of a bitch!

Alastor: -grows to radio tower size- What did you call my mama?! Say it again, Bête!

England: He’s French?!

Alastor: I was American! From New Orleans Louisiana! Of course I have French blood!

England: -pulls out wand- Been a while since I fought a demon.

America: Not in my house! I just got it cleaned! You’re scaring Daphne and Tony!

Lucifer: Who’s Daphne and Tony?

Japan: Tony is America’s Alien friend and Daphne’s his Unicorn. She was a birthday present from England.

Lucifer: Unicorns still exist?! Eeeeek! ALASTOR! ALASTOR! There’s still unicorns!

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Friends are lovely, I still blame you! to my friend

America: Don’t get mad, please don’t get mad

Japan: why would I be mad?

America: I managed to summon the Devil and the serial killer that ate my leg in 1925?

Japan: HOW?!

America: I was trying to summon Russia! I don’t know how?!

Lucifer: wait the reason you weren’t scared of me was because you tried to eat the physical embodiment of the United States of America?!

Alastor: he tasted great.

America: Really?!

Japan: America!!! I will Call France!

Lucifer: How is England?

America: still a bitch

Lucifer: right on!

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Here are my Hazbin Hotel Heavenly Virtue OCs starting with my Fizzmodeus kid!

Her full height and demon disguise each of their halos match the Ring of Hell from the counter part Sin. She is the Fourth oldest of the Virtues. Selena is the Angel of Chastity and best friends with Louis

Next we have Mammon’s magically spawned child. I refuse to ship him with people at this point because all he loves is money! Any way this is Kari the Angel of Charity. She enjoys being a clown looks up to Fizz and loves her adoptive imp parents

Next we have our youngest Aruora Angel of Temperance. She’s Tex and Bee-lezebubs daughter and was the first Hellborn to make it through the hotel to Heaven.

Our Next Virtue was adopted from the the Jade Empire and was the last of the moon rabbits, she was adopted by the redeemed Husk and Angel Dust. She’s the second youngest Virtue and the grumpiest

He’s Santa. Of course he’s Santa and Krampus what else would Kindness be? He’s our Oldest born from the emotions of Lilith, Lucifer, and Eve as they interacted.

And last we have Patience, the last unicorn, who I haven’t given a name yet, she is the second oldest. She was waiting on Noah to call her for the Ark.

I’m not posting Louis again but feel free to read my fic with the characters! It’s Gift from on High on Ao3!

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Does this make Charlie chibimoon?

This Sailor Moon meme is so RadioApple code 🤭

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Mama, I killed Adam! Angelic knife to his back Mama life’s just begun~

Alastor grunted lowly as he entered the east parlor of the hotel. He could feel Lucifer’s eyes boring into the back of his skull. Across from Lucifer sat Heaven’s delegation lead by a man only two inches taller than Lucifer with brown hair but the same agitating face.

“Wow, talk about a pretty face,” Michael giggled. “Too bad about those, 8, 10?, murders. Heaven would have had a field day with you, handsome.”

“Michael, brother dear, is please refrain from flirting with the busboy,” Lucifer ground out, with a pout

“It was 15 murders actually,” Alastor spoke as he lowered himself into a chair watching as the other elder Seraphim flinch at his admission. “They tasted lovely once I turned them into andouille and boudin.”

“You’re not feeding us that are you?” Lucifer asked.

“Of course not, my King!” Alastor’s grin turned feral. “Don’t worry you pretty little head! I respect our dear Charlie too much to soil her palate that way, but I can give you a taste if you like.”

“Oooh kinky!” Michael chirped.

“Michael, sir, please!” Sera hissed.

“but it is!” Michael whined.

“Your saintliness ain’t so bad,” Angel grinned.

“Not so bad your self, doll!” Michael flirted back.

“Michael, please!” Sera hissed.

“ALASTOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“That would be my cue to leave,” Alastor chuckled only to fall back down into his chair by a yank at his neck.

“Where do you think you’re going?” A purple snake demoness with heart patterns down her tail marched into the parlor, heels clicking, blue hair wild. “I told you to watch over Lucifer and Charlotte, not get killed fighting my stupid ex husband, who’s here now! Hi, Luci. Now get your skinny ass over here so I can fix you again!”

“EVE?!” Lucifer asked, then whipped around to Alastor. “You sold your soul to Eve?!”

“Hush! Do you know how stubborn this man is? Had to make a damn deal to let me heal him seven years ago and to make him rest!” Eve hissed and poked at Alastor’s face. “Asked me to stitch that smile to his face too!”

“Hey, girl!” Michael grinned. “How are the boys?”

“Michael! They’re good, invested in something call the Immediate Murder Professionals? It’s going well!”

“Abel and Cain are invested in I.M.P.?!” Sera gasped and the groaned.

“This has been so productive! When do I get to meet Lottie?”Michael asked. “Dad and I have a present for her!”

—————

It’s either Eve or Roo and boy do I want the Mama’s boy to pick the Mother of all Moms! Also I’m tired of mean Michael! I want chaos gremlin who’s Tired TM and just wants to visit his brother and niece also art of Michael and Eve, how I think they look until official art

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Baby Shark

Alastor frowned at the young man in front of him. He wasn’t cowed like the other men in his life by his mere existence, nor was he even impressed by Alastor. The other deer, an angel disguised as a demon, had mentioned that he wasn’t scared of a fellow podcaster, and even grinned at him.

“Louis, my good man, how did you interprut my broadcast?” Alastor asked.

Louis looked up and Alastor tried not to flinch and melt as he was met with Charlie and Lucifer’s doe eyes. Alastor did not know how to prove it but the Virtue sitting before him had to be Lucifer’s next child and that tore something inside him up. He would question the thought of Lucifer having more children upsetting him at another time. Louis, smiled and some soundtrack from a movie Alastor had never bothered with played through the air, but Alastor felt like a fish in a shark tank.

“I got it from my Daddy,” Louis grinned. “If you want I can torture the Vees. I think I’ve got just the song.”

Alastor frowned.

“Oooh, got the frowny smile,” Louis chripped. “Very well.”

With a snap, Alastor heard a very faint song coming from beyond the hotel. He walked outside to investigate and was met with the repeating “do-do-do”. Alastor’s neck cracked as he looked over at the angel coming to stand by him. Smile almost as wide as his own capped with cherry blushes, that Alastor was fighting himself on chewing on them. Charlie and Lucifer gave him the same urge, but with Lucifer it was more he wanted to rip them off and Louis’ raised eyebrow pulled him from his thoughts.

“What?!” Alastor snapped.

“Your cute aggression is showing,” Louis grinned, hands rubbing his rosey cheeks in circles. “Ooh look it’s the game show host, Rox.”

“It’s Vox, you clown” Vox hissed marching up to Alastor. “ I don’t know how you did it, but stop blasting Baby Shark in my tower!”

“Clown?” Louis frowned. “ I’m the grand marshal of the Carnival. Clown?”

Alastor was about to tell Louis not to worry about Vox when he saw Charlie’s annoyed expression flash across Louis. This would be good.

“Look here you outdated sack of bugged circuits!” Louis grouched. “ you need a new graphic’s card because you apparently can’t see for shit through that obsolete monitor you call a face!”

“Ho Ho, Louis, why don’t you go inside before you loose your cool, my hart,” Alastor spoke patting Louis, shoulder. “As for you, Vox, you’ve upset one of my guest.”

Moments of dear screams later, Lucifer was walking up to the hotel with some luggage and frowned as a man with a flat head ran off.

“ Um, what happened?” Lucifer frowned. “ Are the kids okay?”

“ The children are perfectly fine,” Alastor grinned. “ why our little Louis can override Vox! Called him outdated! I’m thinking of taking him and Our dear Charlie to the next Overlords meeting to show of the hotel and torture Cox some more!”

“You are not taking our kids to an Overlord meeting!” Lucifer huffed.

“Our kids, Mon petit Chou?!”

“Ugh! Shut up shut up shut up!”

———-

One of my head cannons is that Alastor finds Charlie and Lucifer just adorable and that he bites Lucifer like an affection aggressive cat who doesn’t know how hard he bites, and yes this is based on my own cat.

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RadioApple kid Oc, Louis Morningstar, both tiny tot and grown up menace to society also the tiny form of my Fizzmodeus kid Oc Selena

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So I’m not sure if I’m ever going to post the story I have for this but

Louis Morningstar: Good morning Ladies, Gentlemen and my Dad’s stalker! I’m your humble host Radio Apple, here to bring some lively entertainment to Hell! I’m also here with the Queen of my heart! Fizzmodeus!

Selena: Gald to be here, Apple of my Eye! Now tell me the truth, Gorgeous, did you block the Radio demon and the TV demon from being able to interfere?

Louis: of course I did! This Carnival can’t be stopped! We’re here to inspire these poor Sinners to redemption! Why my Uncle pulled a lot of strings to get us Heavenly Virtues down here to assist Lottie! So Let the good times roll and it’s going to be one Hell of a season!

- the Hotel-

Angel: what the hell was that?!

Charlie: the RadioApple guy kinda sounded like Alastor the way he talked?

Alastor: and he blocked me from taking over the signal. That’s not good, guess I have a new target

Vaggie: you can’t kill him! He just said he and his friend were Heavenly Virtues! They’re most likely as powerful as the Sins!

Lucifer: and there’s like four to many angels down here now. Worse there are Two too many Alastors!

Alastor: -gasps and puts hand on his chest- that struck me right in my heart!

Husk: -mutters about Alastor not having a heart-

Alastor: Husker! The pain!

Nifty: they had my favorite ships as their names! -maniacal giggles-

Lucifer: you don’t say, Nifty. -hands her money as she hands him a pile of papers- lovely doing business as always.

Alastor: I hate everyone here.

Charlie: lier, lier, pants on fire!

Alastor: hmmm

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Y’all y’all! We’re not giving Alastor the best Dear Pun!

Alastor: LUCIFER! WHERE THE HELL ARE MY FUCKING PILLOWS?!

Lucifer: -in a nest of his and Alastor’s pillows- I’m not sure, My Hart!

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Alastor: we’ll don’t you look like precious little doll! 😀

Lucifer: Deer Hart that hurts!

———

Alastor: -walks into the room-

Lucifer: -clutches chest and collapses- Ugh My Hart!

Alastor: are you done?

Lucifer: never!

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Nests

Alastor couldn’t put his finger on it, but something was off in his room. Everything looked in order, and none of the Hotel’s residents were brazen enough to enter. It was going to drive him up a proverbial wall until he figured what was taken. His only clue the single red feather outside his door.

“Hey Alastor, I kinda wanted to warn you about something,” Charlie spoke softy after knocking on Alastor’s open door.

“What ever could it be my fawn?” Alastor’s manic grin softened just at touch for her.

“Um Dad found out about my day visiting Angel at his job and it’s kinda thrown him into a nesting spiral, so if something is missing, I’m so sorry!”

“I see,” Alastor’s smile twitched just slightly. “So I am to assume that whatever has been taken is in this nest?”

“Yeah, everyone has had something taken, and it’s all in the parlor closest to the Main Lobby. He’s going to start possibly putting us in it soon. Okay I’m just going to go now. Bye!”

Alastor watched as Charlie back tracked and then tried to make it to the elevator before crimson and white wings enveloped the girl. Alastor slammed his door shut. He was not dealing with the short one. He turned to freshen up, when he was stopped by a full demon Lucifer who grabbed his arm.

Seconds later Alastor was dropped into Lucifer’s nest and glared at as he tried to get out.

“Your Highness, we cannot stay in this quaint little nest all day, some of us have businesses to run,” Alastor hissed.

“Valentino licked our daughter!” Lucifer hissed back, flames licking at Alastor’s skin.

Mic feed back screeched through the parlor and lobby. Alastor’s antlers and body stretched and snapped with movement before Lucifer knocked him back into the nest next to Charlie and Vaggie.

“Cuddles first, then murder,” Lucifer growled.

“You think I’m just going to sit here and let Vox’s little pet…”

“Cuddles then Murder, my deer.”

That shut Alastor up and he sank back onto his own bolster pillow, allowing Lucifer to cuddle into his side.

Murder could come later, right now Husk was thinking he could escape the mandatory cuddles.

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RadioApple just lives rent free in my head, so

Angel: Hey Charlie, you seen our dads?

Charlie: wait when did they adopt you?

Angel: they came as a package deal when I adopted you.

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He doesn't care at all

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Zoro: So, what are you doing?

Nami: Burning you, Sanji and Brook’s fan mail as I sort through our mail. Awe! Garp sent Luffy a letter.

Zoro: I have Fanmail? I get the Cook and Brook, but me?

Nami: Yours are mostly pervy women and men that wanna be you. Sanji’s are, well, here. -hands Zoro a letter-

Zoro: -reads- Nami, this isn’t a letter, this is a threat!

Nami: yeah, Sanji’s male fans scare me, but Luffy is the only man who can sweet talk Sanji into anything. It’s his female fans I worry about. They could probably abduct him, but then again Luffy occupies most Sanji’s thoughts.

Zoro: and the massive pile of underthings?

Nami: I told you your fans were gross. Brook’s fans send them too!

Zoro: we’re not making Port anymore.

Nami: I wish that was possible.

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So I have a fic on AO3, I’m MaatWrites on there, called “They Can’t be My Parents” where Luffy’s genderbent and I made Robin and Zoro the presidents of the SanLu fanclub, but that’s not like my favorite part of this Fic. I’ve been working on my favorite part is that Sanji and Luffy basically adopt all the baby Straw Hats so there’s these lines that I hope to put in there someday!

Sanji: you wanna know how many kids Luffy and I have? Biologically, legally or emotionally? Thes Moss head also keeps bring us more.

Sanji: My little cabbages~ 🥰

Sanji: My cabbages! 😱

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Boa: Balckleg Sanji, I’ve come to challenge you for Luffy’s hand in marriage

Luffy: oh hey Hancock, no I’m not marrying you.

Sanji: Oh wow we have been blessed with the beautiful Empress of the Seas. Wait marry Luffy?

Nami: ooooh I’ve been waiting for this! Usopp get the popcorn!

Usopp: shouldn’t Sanji have turned into stone?

Robin: Boa mentioned Luffy and marriage, he’s in defensive mode

Brook: oh be still my beating heart, if I still had one! Yohohohohooo

Boa: we’ll use the Sunny’s kitchen to make my dear Luffy two dishes that he will judge.

Sanji: excuse me?

Zoro: and she stepped in it. Franky, get Chopper! The Cook’s about to serve roasted snake.

Sanji: first Nami-swan is picking the dish and it won’t be any form of meat. Second, if you think you’re touching my kitchen, I will let Zoro beat your ass. Third, how dare you try to claim my boyfriend as yours!

Luffy: hehe Sanji’s all fired up! Zoro isn’t it cute?!

Zoro: Gross no.

Sanji: Shut up Mosshead!

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I’m kinda lost in One Piece…. I did see Zoro

Mihawk: Crocodile, I was thinking of us arranging a marriage between my son and yours

Crocodile: Zoro won’t marry Luffy

Mihawk: and what’s wrong with my boy?

Crocodile: nothing’s wrong with Zoro, but Luffy wouldn’t marry him either.

Mihawk: -frown- why?

Crocodile: Luffy’s 19 let him just be free from marriage contracts, I said No Hancock!

Hancock: he should marry me.

Crocodile: No! No one is marrying Luffy! Also why are you asking me not Garp?

Hancock: Dragon laughed at me.

Mihawk: Garp did to me as well.

Crocodile: and Why not Ivankov?

Hancock: He laughed and said only his prefect Princess who went through bride training can, and then when i demanded he teach me, he laughed and Sicced that Sabo on me.

Crocodile: did you ask Shanks?

Mihawk: Shanks’ eye twitched and his crew told me to run.

Crocodile: Buggy?

Hancock: and Why Buggy?

Crocodile: He’s Shanks’ husband!

Hancock: we could try

Mihawk: Don’t bother, Buggy has probably heard from Shanks about our questions

Zoro: -walks in- Luffy’s been in love with that shitty cook since we found him on that fish boat restaurant. Shit how did I get here?