acephobia-is-real

[acephobia-is-real]

I hate aphobes too but telling people to kill themselves isn’t okay. Don’t stoop to their level.

There’s a lot to be said about how toxic online culture has gotten and that one needs to remember that there is a person on the other side of a screen who reads your words- thus we must be more responsible with what we say.

That being said, I wish all Aphobes a very go kill yourself.

[acephobia-is-real]

Inspired by @3nby-d3ath-d3ity (hope you don't mind) because honestly this needs to be talked about more

"LGBTQA+ is one of the most accepting communities, you're not being targeted by other queer people!!"

List of things fellow LGBTQ+/Queer people have given me shit for (up to and including threats and suicide baiting):

Being asexual

Being pansexual/panromantic

Claiming both the asexual and pansexual label at the same time

Not condemning my attraction to men

Voicing an opinion on how we really shouldn't be painting attraction to men as inherently gross or unfortunate

Being excited to receive my first real asexual pride ring in the mail and talking about feeling connected to the community

Calling myself queer

Refusing to censor the word queer on my blog

Supporting neopronouns

Supporting microidentities

Supporting mspec lesbians

Supporting lesbians who don't use she/her pronouns

Correcting people on the definition of pan

Calling out panphobia

Calling panphobia "panphobia"

Not wanting to be referred to as bi+

Supporting the term mspec

Saying trans women are women and trans men are men

Supporting trans people who don't experience dysphoria (listen y'all, I'm a cis lady, I'm not going to tell anyone what their gender is, should be, or should look/feel like. You tell me you're a dude, that's the end of it in my eyes. You're a dude until you tell me that changes)

Saying ace and aro people are LGBTQ+

Insisting that Jughead is aroace

Hating Riverdale because they erased Jughead's orientation

Voicing hurt that much of the queer community didn't step up when we were pushing for aroace Jughead

Saying that criticizing every piece of mainstream media involving queer people was going to hurt us in the long run

Writing and reading basically any queer fic

Making asexual and and pansexual pride content

Being a sex favorable asexual

Talking about sex favorable asexuals

Talking about how infighting only hurts the queer rights movement

There's honestly probably more that I'm either forgetting or blocked out, but that's a good list to get the point across, I think. We really need to talk more about how badly some of us treat fellow community members. It only hurts hs, both individually and as a community.

[acephobia-is-real]

Aces who have experimented and have had sex before and realized it wasn't for them are valid.

But if you want to have sex, you aren't ace.

Just like if a man wants to have sex with men, he isn't straight.

Anyways I'm ace and don't mind having sex, not minding it doesn't negate the fact that I have never experienced sexual attraction!

[acephobia-is-real]

If the only social interaction you get is through romance or sex, you need help. Join a club, man.

The more I’m on Tumblr, the more I’m tempted to base my master’s thesis on how asexuality and aromanticism are actively harmful by pushing people into further social isolation.

[acephobia-is-real]

Exclusionists really out here getting mad at me for “shutting down conversation” like their “discourse” isn’t just hate speech.

[acephobia-is-real]

I think you misunderstood that dude's post and was unnecessarily rude in your response. Some people haven't seen certain terms before. No one was saying that's wrong.

You think I was rude? That person is so mad they literally made multiple posts on the blog "memes-or-whatever".

They were the one saying not to use nb and claiming nonbin was more accepted, when that's not true at all.

[acephobia-is-real]

you're a fuckin idiot. seriously. YOUR experiences aren't universal. ppl have labels they use. a term existing is no slight against you. calm your ass down.

This person is so pressed that they also made multiple posts on the blog "memes-or-whatever" because they're just so mad that other people say nb instead of nonbin.

Grow the fuck up.

[acephobia-is-real]

I have literally never seen nonbin before anywhere. Your experiences are not universal.

hi, the more widely accepted short form of non-binary is enby. nb is appropriative of AAVE as it has stood for non-black long before it stood for non-binary. just to let you know since you are planning to call a book NB.

This is... this might be the funniest moment in my fucking life. I was literally just talking to @nothorses about this exact conversation I had read a bit ago.

First, I'm going to link to @transgentleman-luke's post on the subject of nb discourse.

Secondly, nota bene or nb for short, has been in use since 1711, whereas nonblack originates roughly around 1961. I have to admit I heard of nota bene when in high school and still use it a lot because I got in the habit while I was still being a pretentious little shithead.

So if we're really going to go with where it started being used first, nota bene has everyone beat out.

And if I want to be really pedantic, nonbinary as a word (not necessarily a gender label) has been around since 1863. I'm very willing to bet that nb was used as shorthand for the term in some form. I just don't have the time or energy to go dig into it more but trust that humans have always been humans about shit.

Thirdly:

The book isn't called NB. It's Nature Boy, and I use shorthand to make it easier to see the full title in Drive.

Finally, not all nonbinary people like to be called "enby."

Acronyms and shorthand can mean multiple things. This ask, while I'm sure is well-intentioned, carries the same energy as the blockheads who think that because trans men are defending themselves from two black people over a nearly year long harassment campaign they (the trans men) are racist.

Since you don't come across with an aggressive tone, I am willing to believe you're not one of those blockheads. And while I do think there is a troubling trend of AAVE getting appropriated into common vernacular without recognition of its origins or consideration of how it's socially acceptable for white people to "borrow" from black culture but black people have to code switch in order to be taken seriously (admittedly from a USAmerican mindset here), nb is not an appropriation of AAVE language.

Ninja Edit to Add: Anon, I say this sincerely, did you stop to think how English mouths say “enby?” It’s nb. So enby isn’t really a good replacement either, regardless of everything else. 

[acephobia-is-real]

Not sure if I can talk about arophobia too, but I remember a man saying he's an aromantic heterosexual in a feminist blog from my home country, and a feminist replied something like "No, you're not aromantic, you're just treating women as being only good for sex like all men are taught to do". Even though heterosexual aromantic men are not any more or less likely to treat women as objects than alloromantic heterosexual men are.

[acephobia-is-real]

PSA for anyone who gives half a shit about trans people: You know the posts going around about straight women fetishizing gay relationships? Half the time they’re actually talking about gay trans men. It’s a TERF talking point and it makes me sick how many trans men have been tricked into spreading propaganda against our own existence.

I will elaborate on reblogs but please, use a critical eye when engaging with posts like that. Bigots love hiding their hatred in innocuous phrases and we must be careful not to do their dirty work for them.

[acephobia-is-real]

[acephobia-is-real]

I'm openly aroace in the internet(no courage to do the same IRL), and some guy in GameFAQs still made a proposal to have sex with me. When I told him what was essentially "buzz off, what part of I'm aroace didn't you understand? Why can't we aces have our identities acknowledged as much as gay or bi people?", he answered saying that "you can have sex outside your orientation"(while I'm aware this can and does happen, I'm certainly uninterested in sex or romance) and accused me of homophobia.

Same GameFAQs guy from before: That PoS also said people like me were the reason why same-sex marriage is not legal in the entire world and why trans people are afraid of using bathrooms that match their gender identity. Worst part is, I actually believed I was unintentionally homophobic and apologized to my sexual harasser. Now, I realize the only one who discriminated was him. Imagine if a heterosexual male used the "sex outside your orientation" excuse to an open lesbian?

[acephobia-is-real]

Hello, I just wanted to ask a question, when you use for example transmasc, trans men, how would you use the terms? I'm just confused on how to use them correctly and I don't want to offend anyone by using them incorrectly

"Transmasculine, or transmasc, is an umbrella term for individuals who were not assigned male at birth whose gender identity is partially or fully masculine. This includes trans men, and non-AMAB trans individuals whose gender is masculine in some way."

Trans men are men who are also trans.

[acephobia-is-real]

So I wanted to put this together not because anyone needs to see all of this stuff, or read every word here, but because I think compiling these kinds of posts is useful when we’re talking about transmasc issues in the community.

There is, frankly, way too much for anyone to go through and dissect here. It’s exhausting, and it stressed me out just trying to find the posts to make this. I’m not going to go through everything here and point out why it’s all wrong. I don’t have that kind of time.

What I’m saying is that there is a problem.

Not that the problem is worse than anyone else’s, not that it’s the only problem, not that nobody else has problems on par with or even worse than this.

But there is a problem.

Transmascs are made to feel unwelcome- intentionally or not. There is dwindling space, there is less and less room for our voices. Less support for our perspectives. Less compassion for our experiences.

There is a hostility growing, an assumption that trans men are inherently violent people- are the oppressor. That we must be stopped, that we must be kept out of the community, that our oppression doesn’t matter or worse, doesn’t exist.

I lay this out for you because I want it to be clear why I and others are trying to build space for a healthier community for transmasculine folks; spaces that support and validate them, that are compassionate, trusting, and understanding (without allowing room for misogyny or transmisogyny). I want it to be very clear why I make the posts that I do, why I think it’s so important to change the broader understanding of transmasculine struggles and transphobic oppression. 

I’m exhausted after compiling this. A lot of these posts are recent; this year, or within the last few. Some of them are older. Some of them are from my own inbox, or comments off my posts- and I left many of the posts I found out, too, prioritizing the ones that make sense without the surrounding context and the ones that contain their entire message, stated, and easy to understand. These posts are from other trans men, trans women, nonbinary people- from within our own community.

I just want folks to understand that this is something that exists, that people believe, and that can and does permeate spaces in ways we might not see right away. This is important. This matters. This isn’t okay.

[acephobia-is-real]

I need to get some things off my chest before I am officially on hiatus because I saw some shit

1. Calling nonbinary people cis is erasing our identities as trans people and nonbinary people. I am sick of cisgender people making it sound like nonbinary people aren't trans enough to be in the trans community, yes our experiences can be different but that's because being trans is a very diverse experience. We are nonbinary. Full stop.

2. Calling bi/pan/poly/omni people "straight-ish" or "hetero-passing" or "half straight half gay" is extremely insulting and is erasing our identities as multisexual people. It is not a privilege for our identities to be erased.

3. Policing the words people use to define their identities is bullshit. Let people be transmasc lesbians. Let people be aromantic. Let people be genderfae. Let people be polysexual. Stop telling people they're not allowed to be in our community just because their label might be "strange" to you. Newsflash, we're all fucking strange get used to it.

Alright, goodbye until I feel like I can handle tumblr discourse again.

[acephobia-is-real]

Nonbinary people are trans.

[acephobia-is-real]

Recently came across a tiktok claiming "if you are part of the LGBT+ community you are sexually attracted to: [...] no exception" like aces aren't part of the same community 😐

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