adarkermiserablecrow - Tumblr blog

[adarkermiserablecrow]

i think it is important to recognize the ways in which your favorite thing sucks. i think it keeps u normal

[adarkermiserablecrow]

narratively I am a fan of romances that don’t ever actually become romances

I don’t mean in an aromantic life partner way, I mean romantic tension that is never resolved or acted upon for whatever reason but by the end it’s clear that both characters experienced the love of their lives without ever acknowledging it as such. but they know. they know.

[adarkermiserablecrow]

#evan buckley but it's just him progressively getting more unhinged over eddie

[adarkermiserablecrow]

9-1-1 7x06

[adarkermiserablecrow]

9-1-1 3.11 • Seize the Day

[adarkermiserablecrow]

Chimney “I’ll crawl home to her” Han you’re the only man to ever exist.

[adarkermiserablecrow]

Skeptic fans: "Ryan isn't as pro-Buddie as Oliver, Lou exposed him when he said Tommy was supposed to kiss Eddie but the plan fell through"

Ryan Guzman: [improvising how strongly Eddie is affected when Buck is hurt] [from back in 6x10] [aka Buck getting struck by lightning]

[adarkermiserablecrow]

I literally don’t know where or who else to ask this so I’m just gonna leave it here. I am looking for a Bellarke fic that I lost. It was a fic where Clarke was royalty, a princess or something and Bellamy was her bodyguard, they were having a secret affair and Clarke had to get married to someone else. They continued the affair after the marriage and had kids from that affair that they had to say was Clarke’s husbands, the husband was gay and also had a secret bf on the side, also Bellamy resigned to a cottage somewhere and also Bellarke’s kids find out who their dad really is and it’s this whole thing. I think it ends with Bellarke living out the rest of their days in Bellamy’s cottage

I’ve been going crazy trying to remember/find this fic, someone please help!

[adarkermiserablecrow]

me, posting stuff for over 7 different fandoms at random all on the same blog:

[adarkermiserablecrow]

You don’t have to do this alone.

[adarkermiserablecrow]

“I just want to say… please don’t feel bad about leaving me here. You did what you had to do. I’m proud of you.”

[adarkermiserablecrow]

[adarkermiserablecrow]

As much as I love Tommy calling Buck 'Evan', it also kind of feels like an omen.

(Bear with me a little, the buck/evan distinctions get a bit uhh).

Canon reasoning aside, as symbolism, it's clear-cut. Evan is the man Buck used to be, the kid he used to be, and with this piece of himself finally falling into place, there's some healing to be had for that past version of Buck as well. It's the start of a journey, and Buck can't make it if Evan doesn't as well.

And I've seen Buck referred to as a mask, a protection of Evan, but I think he's the man Evan evolved into. He got the nickname in the fire academy and never looked back, and there's something obvious about the way he stopped being Evan just as he became a firefighter and found his place with the 118. (Buck 1.0 was a mask, at least in part, but that's another story.)

For years, he has been Buck. Maddie is the only one who knew him when he was Evan, and she does call him by his name sometimes. There's also Eddie's infamous listen-to-me-goddamnit line. But that line during the will reveal works because 'Evan' is so jarring, not just to the viewers, but to Buck himself too. Even in s6, Chimney calls him Evan in front of the Buckley parents, and Buck is in the background looking confused as hell. It's not his name anymore, not really.

And I guess what I'm trying to say with all this is that Tommy calling him Evan (while cute) feels like it sets up the relationship to end. Because Evan doesn't really exist anymore; he's a part of Buck, certainly. All of us carry our past selves around, we're never really free of the people we used to be. But Buck grew beyond Evan, he grew up a bit and found his place in the world.

He's back to being Evan now that he's finding his footing with this new facet of himself. But in everything else he's still Buck. And I'm not sure it's insignificant.

[adarkermiserablecrow]

—eden robinson, writing prompts for the broken-hearted

[adarkermiserablecrow]

THEY'RE SOSOSO FUNNY

[adarkermiserablecrow]

I'm afflicted by the not knowing...

[adarkermiserablecrow]

So I wrote a little something loosely based on this post I made about Eddie subconsciously associating his future wedding as being with Buck- I haven't written for ages but I thought if I was gonna make it into a fic I'd also have an accidental drunk confession to Buck in there- and this is that. If I ever wrote a whole fic of this there'd be no cheating so dw dw

"It must be nice," Buck says from the floor, "Marr-Marriaging, -having a wedding. I want that, I'd want-"

"I know what you want," Eddie laughs confidently from the empty tub. It feels very zen, lying here with his legs hooked over the circular tub, like lying inside a big cereal bowl. He is so drunk, and giddy and totally at peace with everything, "You want a spring wedding because you want a frankly ridiculous amount of flowers. You want it far enough away from the city that you can see the stars at night, but not so far that it'd cost too much for everyone to travel there. You like the idea of releasing lanterns but you're worried about the environment so you'd probably want - like- doves or butterflies instead-"

"Butterflies," Buck says from the floor, his voice thick, "Eddie, what-"

"M'not finished," Eddie continues with the gravitas of someone so hammered they cant feel their legs but who is nevertheless making an Important Point, "Butterflies, then. You want a light coloured suit, something that breathes well because you'll worry about sweating. Bobby would be doing the ceremony, so maybe Athena to walk you down the aisle? And of course Maddie as your best man. Woman. Person."

"… Maddie?"

"Well yeah," Eddie shrugs, transfixed by how the ceiling seems to be slowly tilting to the side, "Because Chris would be mine, and that way they can both be involved."

There's a frantic shuffling noise from the floor, and Buck's voice is much clearer when he speaks again, "Eddie. Eddie are you talking about- me and you getting married?"

"Who else?" And in his alcohol-soaked state, it's as simple as that- who else. God knows he's tried to fit other people into that role and they just never fit right because the void in his life is so decisively Buck-shaped. Haha, God knows, his chest begins to shake with silent laughter, it's funny, right? Because of the Catholicism.

"And that's-" Buck sounds kind of upset, which makes Eddie pause, why would Buck be upset when there's good booze and the ceiling is tilting and they're getting married? "That's something you want- the-the spring wedding and the butterflies and the-"

Oh, Buck's simply misunderstood, that's easy.

"I just wanna be the guy standing next to you."