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the new pope is gonna be Bobby Nash. he's not dead, just busy. new 911 spinoff will be 9-1-1: Vatican City. Thank you for coming to my tedtalk

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Saw Hadestown today, and you know what means…Orpheus and Eurydice AU.

Grantaire as our Eurydice, hardened, world-weary, who is so used to running but stays only because of his love for Enjolras.

And Enjolras as Orpheus, touched by the gods – “Or maybe just touched in the head,” Grantaire mutters, but with a smile just peeking out of the corner of his mouth. After all, he’d have to be touched to believe he can change the world, right?

(“Of course,” Grantaire adds, “what does it say about me that I love him for it?”)

But times are hard and getting harder and changing the world doesn’t pay the bills, or keep the fire going or food in their bellies. And Grantaire—

Well. You know what they say of the frailty of man.

(“He’s gone,” Combeferre tells Enjolras, his hand heavy on his shoulder. “I am sorry, but this is one thing not even you can change.”

“He always said he would die for me,” Enjolras says, his voice broken. “I just never thought—“

His face hardens and he stands. “He said he would die for me,” he repeats, louder, stronger, iron banding his words and spine. “But I would kill for him.”

“You cannot kill the gods, or fate,” Combeferre says, exasperated.

Enjolras smiles, the sight chilling Combeferre to the bones. “Watch me.”)

And he goes after him, and his belief is strong enough to get him passage through the Underworld to Grantaire’s side, strong enough to bring Hades and Persephone back together, strong enough to convince Hades—

“There is a condition,” Hades says, his voice low. “You may leave, but not hand in hand. You will have to walk in front, and him behind.”

Enjolras squares his shoulders. “Fine,” he says. “We can—“

“Not you,” Hades says. “Grantaire will lead. And if he turns around to make sure you’re there, he returns here. Forever.”

But what choice do they have? The road is long, and dark, and Grantaire’s never been that good at belief under the best of circumstances.

And these are not the best of circumstances.

But he knows something Hades doesn’t know. Hades has looked at the whole of his life, at his lack of faith in anything, but like so many others, has never seen, or never understood, that Grantaire believes in Enjolras.

When Grantaire emerges into the triumph of the sun, he shouts his victory. (“Long live the Republic! I am one of them”.)

And he turns back to Enjolras.

(“Do you permit it?”)

’Cause here’s the thing

To know how it ends

And still begin to sing it again

As if it might turn out this time…

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Link to original tweet

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season five, episode eighteen: starting over | season eight, episode seventeen: don't drink the water

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i don’t think some of you get that they were both being selfish and making everything about them in that scene, and that’s okay!!! it’s okay because they’re grieving and grief is a selfish thing!!

buck never once even implied that he was the only person who lost bobby, but eddie heard that & made it about about himself because he feels guilty! eddie never even remotely suggested that buck didn’t do everything he could to save bobby, but buck heard that & made it about himself because he feels guilty!! they’re both drowning in guilt and in grief and they’re dealing with it in different ways so they feel lonely in that grief, but they are still the only people they can be truly honest and vulnerable with. they’re still who the other turns to, even if sometimes that looks a little bit messy and angry and intense.

at the heart of it, they are two desperately sad people who are absolutely riddled with guilt - eddie for feeling like he should have been there, and buck for feeling like he should have saved him - and they’re not quite sure how best to help each other.

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Mood going into tonight's episode

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the government had his body and then neither us nor the characters saw inside the casket. he's fine

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Okay @ballroomeddie had me thinking of tags I made about the differences between the s3 and s8 fights. This is kinda long but here goes.

In s3 they knew each other significantly less but Buck wasn’t afraid to/of the fight. Compared with s8, when they know each other significantly better and their relationship with each other is stronger than ever (esp kitchen fight, bc they proved distance doesn’t keep them apart). Yet it’s like Buck doesn’t know how to fight with Eddie anymore. Which is something considering he’s the most likely to react in anger and/or defensiveness than anyone.

IMO the s3 fight is arguably (more) Buck’s fault. I do hate laying blame but if you compare where they’re coming from, Buck made the decision to quit despite Bobby saying not yet to returning to work, and decided to sue and resulting in not being able to talk to Eddie (and Chris). Meanwhile Eddie’s wife and the mother of his kid (who just almost died!) died horrifically in front of him, days after telling him she wanted a divorce. Yet it’s Buck who just wants to talk to Eddie, even though he knows he’s in the wrong. I just want you to talk to me. Even if it’s just to say that you’re still mad.

Which is WILD when you then look at the two s8 fights that Buck comes at with complete passive aggression. In the s3 fight, Buck keeps pushing and pushing, and it’s only when they’re alone in the station, and he pushes—again—and again, that Eddie finaaalllyy starts talking. And when you compare that with 809 where Eddie, annoyed, lets Buck into the house after the barest of resistance, to then immediately start talking (given, yes he’s having a whole different argument about well, a non-existent competition). And again in 817, Eddie is the one to talk first. He didn’t even have to ask or bring up the groceries; it’s not like he walked in with them. But he’s trying to broach the subject of how Buck is acting/coping. Which is again a wild reversal! And again it takes next to nothing to get Eddie talking this time. Meanwhile Buck is the one to barely say anything! Especially after the shoulder listen-to-me-it’s-important grab. Not until the end when he mistakes Eddie’s regret for (lack of a better word) criticism.

It’s almost (🤷🏻‍♀️) as if there’s this huge defensive wall up. Well less defensive and more preventative. Because unlike before, when Buck would let any and every emotion show on his sleeve, now, in s8, he can’t! He can’t let Eddie see it, Eddie who always sees everything about Buck, because then Buck is going to have to own it as the truth. (You don’t have to hide from me!!!! Except Buck is!! He’s hiding from Eddie and he’s hiding from himself!) So instead, he can’t come at the fights head on. Which is something Eddie never wants to do until he’s pushed to. But Buck isn’t pushing. He isn’t countering the arguments in Eddie’s head. Which is what Eddie wants!

Neither of them can get what they want (being together but also being together) until they can say, or hell, even just acknowledge the truth.

And it’s all extra fun and messy when you consider that Buck had more to lose if he didn’t push it with Eddie in s3 because they weren’t yet at a place where they knew they could always come back from (which is extra extra fun when you remember that he didn’t fight Abby or Ali when they walked away) but now, when he has SO MUCH at stake, he fights around the issue.

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9-1-1 8x17 "don't drink the water" / homie by danez smith / oliver stark / the raven king by nora sakavic / ryan guzman / cutting for stone by abraham verghese / the parallel universe by sophie lucido johnson / fair - the amazing devil / when you're home - in the heights / the story is the love language by jason bayani / 9-1-1 2x08 "buck, actually"

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Is that really love? Shouldn't it be, they're at their worst, you're at your worst, you have every reason to give up, and you still decide you want to try again.

thanks to @bellabrady for providing the references on twitter

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911 8x17 + Callbacks

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No, because I can't stop thinking about the note. At first it just seems a little bit of last pettiness. But it like...sort of makes perfect sense when paired with the assumptions Buck's been making about Eddie throughout the season. Buck told him he's moving "like it's nothing" and Eddie has to say back that it's NOT nothing. Then we have Buck taking the 12 on the grief assessment at face value. He never actually asked. Only made assumptions. So, Eddie, who knows he was a little cruel in his delivery, but right in his message leaves behind a note that is purposefully vague. The blankets are folded, and he says he's at the airport. Now when Buck comes home, he's all "I thought you were in Texas" and Eddie goes on what seems to be his weird little joke about the letters and how he never said Texas and WHEN DID I SAY THAT BUCK? NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT THE NOTE SAID BUCK. And as soon as Buck actually verbally asks him what else he could be doing at the airport, Eddie is like "Okay. Good. Here is your prize in the form of me calling myself a dick who was mean to you and here's Chris." Because....the note was Eddie trying to hammer home the lesson that when Buck assumes things about Eddie he's missing out on the real thing. He wants Buck to ask him. He wants to tell him the truth. And it's a little harsh to have him stew all day thinking Eddie just left, but that's the point. Buck hurt his OWN feelings. Because he didn't ask! Eddie just wants to teach him that it's always just better to ask him! Now...I wonder what else Buck has been assuming about Eddie and their relationship this season....

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something something it's easy to lash out on the person that you know is always gonna forgive you and something about buck and eddie always having been that safe space for each other to be ugly and angry and to break down and to know that at the end of the day they can be the worst versions of themselves and still have a home in each other. buck can sue the 118 and feel responsible for christopher almost dying in a tsunami and accidentally maim eddie in a basketball game and eddie can yell at him in the middle of a grocery story and take a bat to his room and blame him for bobby's death and at the end of the day still all that remains is this unconditional love and forgiveness and understanding that is just. so total and unbending

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[silence]

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9-1-1 (2018 - present)

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Evan 'takes over your lease' Buckley x Eddie 'brings my son from Texas to cheer you up' Diaz