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[admittedfanofthor]

I think it’s incredibly interesting that fic writers first instinct is write Steve Rogers as impulsive and reckless (myself included). He was chosen for the serum not just because he was a good man, but because he would never abuse his power.

Where do we see impulsiveness?

In the movie theater when he tells off that harasser? He doesn’t say anything until he notices a woman on the edge of sobbing in the middle of the theater. Do we see him instigate the fight that comes next? Nope. We hear a door bang open and see the harasser kicking the crap out of him. My guess is Steve was followed from the theater- and that he didn’t pick the fight at all. The flagpole is one of the greatest tells- he didn’t try to climb up the flag pole. He observes, thinks about it, and then acts. The grenade is the first time we see impulsiveness- but I have no doubt he’s thought about that too- how did he know that his body would contain the blast- remember all of those books he brought? I’m confident he thought about that too. The consequences of the serum, the risks weighed against the good he knows he could do. What about those times he enlisted again and again? He came up with accurate believable information he had to have researched for the five times he enlisted. How about jumping out of the plan with a parachute? That was the plan all along- he dove into water- a parachute would have drawn the attention of those on board- the tactical team only drops in after Steve has taken out the on deck security.

This man is a tactical genius- because he is level headed, measured, observant, and above all, empathetic and compassionate. He will always put his morality above all else- and he takes the time and energy to put serious thought into what his morals are- we see that with the sokovia accords. He is not without fault- I imagine he carries a great sense of guilt, and that yes, it influences his decisions (hello Arctic dive). But the thing about Steve Rogers- he knows his value- and nothing anyone has ever said has changed that. Yes, he had something to prove- not because he felt the need to prove to himself and others that he had worth- but to prove that every man, great or small, was capable of doing the right thing.

[admittedfanofthor]

A monster is used to people running, screaming, frozen in fear begging etc. But someone sighing cracking their neck, rolling up their sleeves, and walking towards them is new.

[admittedfanofthor]

be sure to leave out milk and cookies for brutus tonight

[admittedfanofthor]

The princess was given a curse where her first husband would die a horrible death. In order to avoid this fate, the royal family used you as scapegoat and married you to the princess, but because of your immortality you have now died over 10 times and still continue to come back to life.

[admittedfanofthor]

Thor  +  pulling Jane in

[admittedfanofthor]

My poor mother, every week. XD 

Anyone: Hey (asks about a special interest of mine)? Me: Becomes an unskippable cutscene

[admittedfanofthor]

I was asked to give a spiritual thought in church yesterday and I literally gave it on redemption because I’m still so mad about Eliot Spencer’s perceived inability to be redeemed.

Like, redemption is the entire POINT of the Plan! Don’t you dare cheapen God’s sacrifice by refusing to accept it! He’s already paid the price and is literally right there waiting for you!!!

[admittedfanofthor]

I want to get those children to their families. I want to finish that mission.

[admittedfanofthor]

Thor Odinson  +  children

+

[admittedfanofthor]

[admittedfanofthor]

Some Meta on Murdock and mental illness

Generally speakig, The A-Team is a dumbass, light-hearted comedy with action on the same level as youtube poop videos. Obviously there isn’t alot of depth to be found here. The show had tons of different writers, all with their own take on Murdock and none of them offer any clear info or a proper backstory for the character. It’s basically up to the audience to fill in the blanks and that’s exactly what I’m gonna do by overanalyzing the mess that is the show’s canon.

The question of whether Murdock is ‘‘‘really crazy or just faking’‘’ has been around for over 30 years, but I’m gonna argue that he’s both.

When Kelly visits Murdock in the psychiatric hospital and confronts him about why he’s living there in the first place he gets instantly uncomfortable.

He really didn’t want her to ask, it’s why he’s been avoiding her. Joking about how you’re hashtag crazy™ is easy; having to admit that you’ve been institutionalized for over 10 years because you have legitimate problems is much harder. (Sure, the VA also gives him a convenient cover from the military police, but if that was the only reason for him to stay he wouldn’t react to Kelly’s question in this way). “It’s a long story”, is all he says. There are clearly some painful memories here that he’d rather not delve into.

He’d have to explain how he got committed in the first place. We know that after the gang was arrested for war crimes in ‘71, Murdock was still serving as a pilot in ‘72. They never clarified when and how Murdock was sent home, but i’m guessing without his only friends around and it being, you know…war, his mental health eventually deteriorated until he received a medical discharge straight into the VA hospital.

After Murdock gets wrongly released in season 1, instead of his friends being worried about his supposed cover getting blown they just shrug it off and go ‘Oh well!’ (This could all be due to the show’s inconsistent writing, but you know)

No longer being an inpatient would finally allow Murdock to be employed as a pilot again (his #1 passion), and yet he seems really disheartened about the situation. Even though the hospital gives him no privacy, the staff barely respects him and he spends most of his time there by himself, he still prefers to stay.

For a character who’s allegedly cheery comic relief, he sure gets his feelings hurt alot, mainly when dealing with other people’s ableism towards him. B.A. and Face are obviously just palling around, just guys bein’ dudes, they don’t want to hurt Murdock for real, they probably don’t realize how sensitive Murdock is about the subject. Usually he plays along or shrugs it off, but sometimes he gets genuinely upset. In the first half of In Plane Sight he’s so fed up with it he tries to ‘‘act normal’‘ until #Woke #Queen Hannibal reassures him that they love him the way he is.

PTSD was barely starting to become a diagnosis when the show first aired, but I think it’s fair to say he suffers from it. The pilot episode states that he has anxiety, paranoia and memory loss, so that checks out.

With PTSD you don’t just have to deal with flashbacks and nightmares, but also intrusive thoughts, images and memories about your trauma. Murdock copes with it by getting hyperfixated on a new activity or pretending he’s someone else. This is were alot of people will go ‘‘haha wow look how wacky and insane he is! He’s talking to his sock 😂’‘. But Murdock knows it’s all made up nonsense, he just needs his mind to focus on something else. What’s important here is that he never lets his coping mechanisms distract him when he’s flying, first of all he’s already focused and also he doesn’t wanna crash (lol). There’s a believability to his actions that’s missing in the 2010 reboot.

In the episode where the gang helps out the vietnamese cook from the POW camp where they’ve been tortured, Murdock tries to distract himself with some golfballs. He soon starts projecting his trauma on them however.

I think this is the only time in the show where Hannibal tears up, so this scene is kinda significant. As the leader, he probably blames himself for getting his team captured and tortured, and seeing that Murdock is still so strongly affected by it gotta hurt. 

Compared to the rest of the gang, Murdock’s alot more fucked up over the war. There are subtle changes in his voice whenever he talks about it. In the ep about their old war buddy Ray, Face was reminiscing about how cool of a guy Ray was for borrowing him his helmet, Murdock’s memories meanwhile are much less upbeat. ‘My bird was the only one left in the sky’ he remembers while we see an image of a field filled with shot down helicopters. His experiences are bound to be different from the other three as a huey medevac pilot. Murdock did have one off-screen breakdown in the present timeline, after collecting every newspaper article about the upcoming execution of the team in Firing Line. Apparently it was bad enough that he had to be restrained. It’s been 10 years, so he’s recovering and getting better, but he’s still not all there yet.

Everyone knows Murdock’s just messing around when he’s being interrogated by the military about his connections to the team, but like what about when the military isn’t there; or NO ONE is. He often talks to himself or just puts weird shit in his mouth for no reason while nobody’s paying attention to him (eating leaves, paint, an entire raw egg, a frozen sandwich). Sometimes he’s just unhinged like that.

Another thing that’s brought up a few times in the show is his anxiety. Murdock’s often seen being generally tense, sweaty, uncomfortable or reflective in the background of a scene. (I have no idea if this was a deliberate acting choice but Dwight does have anxiety irl so who knows if that had anything to do with it, I mean who knowsssssss, i’m just observing)

He’s got a habit of fidgeting with his hands or touching his neck when he’s stressed out. Murdock also does it when he’s telling his psychiatrist Dr. Richter about his dreams “If you were me, wouldn’t you be terrified to put your head down?” he asks him.

Richter isn’t really paying attention though, because he’s so used to Murdock’s non-stop clownery, he can’t exactly tell when his patient decides to be honest about his feelings for once. He just replies ‘Well only if it was a bad dream’. Which really irritates Murdock because what other dreams besides bad would he have? So he derails the session by rambling some made up bullshit on purpose.

Richter knows that Murdock uses humor and fantasy to cope, but he’s obviously tired of Murdock’s cringe antics, he just wants to help him. But Murdock doesn’t like to open up and be confronted with his traumas again, he just wants to avoid talking about it all together. There are still parts of reality that Murdock’s not ready to deal with, or he wouldn’t always retreat into his fantasies.

Before he can continue messing around a helicopter passes by and Murdock freezes for a second. Richter assures him that the helicopter is real; Murdock nods and starts fidgeting with his hands again, seemingly in deep thought. We know from the season 4 finale that he hears the sound of rotor blades when he dissociates. He was definitely being sincere here.

After getting drugged by some military goons he has a few brief flashbacks (feat. cheesy 80′s neon filters): seeing the chopper fly away, getting stuck in a potted plant as if he was walking through the jungle, being surrounded by heavy smoke and sparks from the burning carpet).

Despite being the 2nd highest ranked team member, Murdock dislikes being in charge and gets severly distressed when anything goes wrong that he might even be slightly responsible for. Most notably is the episode where the owners of the diner get kidnapped after Murdock got knocked out by evil cowboys or hill billies or whatever they were. Instead of telling anyone what happened, he’s just lying on the floor, repeatedly calling himself a failure until the others show up.

Seems like Murdock gets startled more easily than the rest of the crew as well. We often see him flinch when guns go off; one time he literally wore fluffy ear muffs to a backalley shootout.

This short moment from Family Reunion always stood out to me. Face opens the van door a little too quickly and it takes Murdock so off-guard he has to take deep breaths to calm down.

Murdock sounds exhausted when he has to remind Face not to sneak up on him. Face also realizes he messed up, he just wanted to check up on Murdock and not trigger him on accident.

When it comes to portrayals of mental illness in fiction there’s obviously better representation out there than Murdock. But sometimes you just wanna see a mentally ill character have a good time instead of being miserable 24/7. And Murdock’s already got the worst behind him, he’s had therapy for years and friends who love him. I just think that’s refreshing to see, especially with a character who’s so kind and openly affectionate.

[admittedfanofthor]

it should be illegal for society to make u do things when youre on ur period. also you should be given 500 dollars to buy whatever you want online

[admittedfanofthor]

"As this world becomes increasingly ugly, callous and materialistic, it needs to be reminded that the old fairy stories are rooted in truth, that imagination is of value, that happy endings do, in fact, occur, and that the blue spring mist that makes an ugly street look beautiful is just as real a thing as the street itself."

- Elizabeth Goudge

[admittedfanofthor]

Have you ever thought of the strange 40s foods Steve would be used to?

I have one fic with a peanut butter, bacon, and mayonnaise sandwich that never fails to get a reaction.

Also, boiling times were insane. This is my 1914 (reprint) cookbooks recommendation for boiling vegetables:

35 mins to an hour for cabbage.

Another favourite is what is called "Invalid Dishes" which Steve might have been given/recommended while he was sick.

The book states "Do not consult the patient as to the menu, for the various surprises will help to tickle his appetite."

It then goes on to list things like "Broiled Beef Juice"

And "Barley Water"

(Among more reasonable things like oatmeal gruel and flaxseed lemonade.)

OKAY I LOVE THIS, YES!

First of all... that boiling list haunts me. What is that. It's horrible. And barley water. I'm shaking.

I mean Steve said it himself - they used to boil everything,, literally,, you ever think about how Steve was piss poor and sick all the time and once he got the serum he only ever ate army rations (or maybe some normal food when he was touring with the uso, but you get me)? So when he came to the 21st century... that must have been a shock to his system in the culinary world as well.

I am a firm believer of the serum enhancing his taste buds, so some foods have too much flavour for him now - something super sweet like honey or spicy like chilli is a big no no in its pure form. So in a weird way he's... still kind of okay with food not having a lot of flavour, because he can taste much more strongly than an average human.

Which brings me to Endgame, where I believe he says something about being a terrible cook when he talks to Nat. I think Steve can cook, but the food he makes isn't really appealing to someone who's not an enhanced supersoldier lol, it's quite tasteless or underseasoned for regular people.

But I also love the idea of Steve making all those... weird... foods... that they had during the Depression. I can't decide if he would do that seriously (comfort food?) or to troll his teammates... choices, choices.

I do want to see Tony's face if he got served... vinegar pie from 1933, or something.

As far as I'm concerned, after Endgame Steve got deserumed and became that Dylan Hollis guy who makes vintage recipe tik toks; honestly he has big pre-serum steve energy and it gives his videos an immaculate vibe hehehe!

Shoot me an ask!

[admittedfanofthor]

[admittedfanofthor]

i spent $32 on this fucking bowl at the moma and at first i felt bad buying it bc it was so expensive but ive had a terrible day today and every time i look at my lil bowl im like :o) you know what. i can get through anything with this bowl by my side

[admittedfanofthor]

Let’s kill him properly this time.