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Andy: Booby trap? Sure I would easily fall into a trap if I saw boobs.

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[on the phone]

Miranda: Emily, where are you?

Miranda: No, I didn’t say go to New Zealand. I said, go and get me new sealant.

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Andy: I have the worst taste in men. If I have ever liked you, please work on yourself.

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Andy: Am I a Miranda apologist? Not necessarily. Explainer? Perhaps. Understander? Intimately. Enjoyer? Greatly. Sexualizer? Frequently.

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Izzy: [sneaking back in]

Emily: [turns the light on] Care to tell me where you were?

Izzy: I was with…uh…Cass.

Cassidy: Care to try that again?

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Emily: Andy, there’s something we need to tell you. Serena and I are dating.

Andy: I’ve known for the last few years, you two are inseparable.

Serena: Years? We’ve only been dating a few weeks!

Andy: Then what were you doing before that?

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Emily: I keep getting random headaches.

Serena: Querida, that’s not a random headache. You are dehydrated, malnourished, over caffeinated, over stressed, and sleep deprived.

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Andy: [visibly upset]

Andy: I don’t want to talk about it.

Emily: Good. I don’t want to hear about it.

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Andy: What did they put in 70s country that made it so good?

Nigel: I believe that was the cocaine.

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Emily: Can you sense it?

Andy: Sense what?

Emily: My sanity going down into the sewer.

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Serena: Em, you’re not evil, you’re just lonely and no one has cared for you in a while and it’s making you crazy. Can I make you a chai latte or something?

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Doug: What’s it like working at Runway?

Andy: Imagine the most calm, civilized and quiet working place you can.

Doug: Okay?

Andy: Now throw that thought out the window.

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Serena: But some people aren’t gay or straight.

Emily: Right, like your Aunt Andy.

Izzy: Jewish?

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i cannot find it, but that video of the little girl speaking portuguese teaching her cats how to draw a flower is little izzy charlton coded

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Emily: I’m just grateful for the peace and quiet, I can finally hear myself think.

Emily’s Thoughts: Did you leave the kettle on? The door unlocked? Will you die alone?

Emily: …Well, this was a mistake.

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Andy: I have an angel and a devil on my shoulders, but also a third one who just tells me to do strange shit that’s not really good or bad per se, but it will make everyone in my life think I’m weirder.