aestheticaltcow - Tumblr blog

[aestheticaltcow]

My entire life is falling apart a little bit and I've been reading a lot of Top Gun Maverick fan fiction.

I hit 300 followers and the Richie playlist blurbs has turned into like 3 really good one shots so there is gonna be a bit of a delay/entire concept change.

Beside that I'm fuckin vibin, how bout yall?

[aestheticaltcow]

Does Carmen ever run into the woman he cheated on reader with?

Maybe, I had a draft where Carmy and wife run errands together and they go to the grocery store. Then at the store carmy is looking for almond extract again and she bumps into the reader. They apologize and start casual conversation. Carmy finds reader and sees them talking and freaks out, it was a good vibe but wasn't the right vibe.

[aestheticaltcow]

This is the perfume Selena wears

Six Months

An attempt at some parenthood angst?

Similarly to the title, this fic has been in my WIP folder for a minute; it went through a handful of edits. I'd like to think this is good enough for y'all.

 Carmy sat in the office staring at the paperwork Sugar needed his signature on; when he saw the date on his phone, it hit him—today marked six months. Six months of parenthood and six months of celibacy, to say Carmy was sexually frustrated, was an understatement. “Hey Carm, did you- are you okay?” Sugar asked when she caught him staring blankly at his phone. He didn’t respond until she put her hand on his shoulder. Her touch snapped him out of his trance. He looked at her before quickly apologizing, “Sorry, what were you sayin'?” Sugar grinned as she patted his shoulder, “You okay, Bear?”

Carmy nodded and straightened up in his desk chair, “Yea- just thinkin’ bout the baby.”

Carmy got home from work late. He quietly slipped his jacket off, and hung it on the coat rack before removing his shoes. Walking down the hallway, he slipped into the nursery, knowing the baby would be asleep. He found it impossible not to be happy in her room. The walls were decorated with vintage floral wallpaper you’d bought off Etsy, it may have been a pain in the ass to put up, but Carmy happily obliged when he saw how happy it had made you. He crept to his baby girl’s crib and felt the day's stress disappear. She was peacefully sleeping in a light pink sleep sack, furiously sucking away on her pacifier. “Sweet dreams, princess,” he whispered. “I love you.” 

The joy of watching his daughter sleep faded away as he approached the askew door to the master bedroom the two of you shared. “I’m home, baby.” Carmy grinned as he walked toward the open closet door, “Hi, Carm.” you called from the bathroom. When he entered the bathroom, you were brushing your teeth. As the mix of salvia and toothpaste residue dripped from your mouth Carmy’s breath hitched- was this enough to get him goin’? He shook his head as he pulled his shirt off and threw it in the laundry hamper before turning on the shower.

“How was work, babe?” you asked before bringing a small cup of mouthwash to your lips. Carmy watched as you swished it around your mouth and spit it into the sink. “Carmy?” you asked again; he swallowed. “Yeah, uh, it was good. Busy,” he answered as you hopped up on the counter. You were desperate for adult interaction after being home with the baby all day. 

“Mia, have a good day?” Carmy questioned. You nodded, “We did some laundry, then had mashed pears for lunch- she did. I had that leftover pasta sauce you made... Read a couple books and went on a walk... Then did her bedtime routine, and I worked on that stupid documentary I was telling you about.” 

As you recounted your day, Carmy nodded, but he was staring at your chest, barely hearing what you said. You’d been wearing one of his old T-shirts. He noticed how prominent your nipples were under the soft, worn-in material. He was captivated by the fullness of your breasts, and he’d do just about anything to touch them again. “Carm, you okay?” you asked, hopping down from the counter; he nodded. “Wanna get in with me?” he asked cocking his head in the direction of the running shower. You giggled, “Maybe next time, bear.”

“Oh fuck-” Carmy grunted as he worked his hand up and down his length. He felt like a teenager again, masturbating in the shower before going to school. However, now, instead of imagining the unrealistic scenarios he’d see in pornos, he had memories of you. Carmy thought back to the last time you’d really touched him. Heavily pregnant, hormonal, begging for his tongue and his cock… he’d expected a shift in your sex life as the two of you adjusted to parenthood, but this long of a dry spell was the last thing he’d expected. Carmy squeezed his eyes closed as he came down the drain.

~

“Good morning, princess.” Carmy cooed as Mia squirmed in her crib, trying to get out of her sleep sack. She spat her pacifier out and let out a gruggle. “So it’s one of those mornings?” he chuckled as he unzipped her. He watched her stretch before carefully picking her up, “See, you’re okay.” he rocked her gently before exiting the nursery and heading downstairs. 

You were making coffee and prepping a bottle for Mia as he entered the kitchen. “You’re off today, right?” Carmy nodded in response before handing you Mia. “You goin’ to work?” he questioned, as he got two mugs from the cabinet. You groaned in response, “Jenny called off, so I have to go in. I’ll be back before bedtime.”

“Well, looks like Mia and I are havin' some Daddy-Daughter time,” you smiled as Carmy gently kissed her head before going to get the milk from the fridge. When you’d met Carmy all those years ago at some trendy Chicago bar, you found him incredibly alluring. His disheveled curls, the mix of some musky cologne and cigarette smoke, the way his T-shirt wrapped around his muscular arms… he’d always been… sexy. But watching him interact with Mia was a different kind of attractive.

Carmy drummed his thumbs on the handlebar of the grocery cart. He scanned the shelf before him as Mia happily made her baby noises as she looked around the aisle. “Okay, princess… they don’t have almond extract. What kind of grocery store doesn’t have fuckin’ almond extract.” Mia put her hands out to Carmy, grabbing at the air. Carmy chuckled and ducked to kiss her cheek.

“Oh my gosh, she’s too precious.” a sickly, sweet feminine voice cooed from behind Carmy. He grinned when he turned his attention to her, “How old is she?” she asked. Carmy got a good look at the woman; she was pretty, but she wasn’t you. “Oh, uh, she’s six months,” he answered as the woman stepped closer. She smelled like cheap vanilla and a mix of flowery scents Carmy couldn’t place. Mia glared at the woman, and Carmy scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “I’m Selena. I’m in this parenting group. You should stop by.” she smiled as she looked him up and down. The attention made Carmy regret not regularly wearing his wedding ring. “I’m not really the par-” Carmy started to say before Selena cut him off. “I’m not takin’ no as an answer. What’s your number?” she handed him her phone. 

Carmy didn’t know why he gave her his number- could he blame it on feeling uncomfortable? Was that even the right thing to do? It’s not like he’d ever do anything with this woman. He’d never throw away his marriage to you by hooking up with some woman he met at the grocery store. The reality of Carmy's actions didn’t hit him until he was in the checkout line. He gave his phone number to another woman- was that cheating on you? Did doing that in front of his daughter make him a bad father? “Okay, your total is $63.82.” the cashier smiled. Carmy nodded and swiped his card. He needed to get out of there as quickly as possible so he wouldn’t run into Selena again.

~

It had been a couple of weeks since Carmy’s interaction at the grocery store. He’d noticed Selena’s text messages here and there. They seemed innocent until one Friday night, he was working late, you were home with the baby, and Selena had sent Carmy an explicit picture, hoping it would get his attention.

We’re both parents. 

I’m not looking for anything serious, Carmy…

My son is at his Dad’s place

Come over <3

Carmy stared at the messages before his eyes went up to the attached photo. Selena had the hem of her T-shirt between her teeth, showing off her toned stomach. He swallowed as he admired the contrast between her skin and the brightly colored fabric of her lacy underwear. He should block her. He should just delete the messages and block her number. He had a wife and baby at home—he couldn’t make this kind of mistake. He locked his phone and shoved it in his pocket before returning to the kitchen cleanup, “Hey Carm, I can finish this up. Go home.” Sweeps grinned as he attempted to connect his phone to the Bluetooth speaker on the counter. Carmy grinned, “You sure, man?” Sweeps nodded assuringly. “I think I can handle this boss man.” 

You heard Carmy walk into the bedroom that night, “Hey babe!” you called as you put your blowdryer in its designated spot by the sink. As the bathroom door swung open, Carmy’s lips were on yours. The initial shock wore off as Carmy’s tongue invaded your mouth, and his hands pushed under the hem of your sleep shorts to grasp at your ass cheeks. Carmy pulled you closer to him, forcing you onto your tip toes. You wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers delicately tangling in the roots of his hair. The passionate kiss ended when Carmy started to kiss down your jaw. A giggle escaped your mouth as his lips brushed against your earlobe before he nipped at your neck. “Carm-m what got into you?” you croaked as you adjusted your hips against his.

 “I need you, baby,” he muttered, lifting you off the floor. You squealed as he crashed down onto your mattress. He hovered above your body, staring into your eyes. “I need to be inside you, baby.” he swallowed hard as you bit your lip. “Carmyyy,” you giggled as you watched him pull his t-shirt off. You ran a finger down his chest, making him moan softly.

 “Let me make you feel good, baby…” Carmy whispered in your ear as one of his hands found its way into your oversized sleep shirt. Your breath hitched when you felt his calloused fingertips graze your ribs. " I-I—" you studdered nervously. “Baby…please.” Carmy quietly asked as his lips brushed against yours. “No.” you whispered as you grabbed his wrist through your shirt, “What?” Carmy questioned as he stood up abruptly, “Did I do something? We haven’t done anything in like six months- clearly I did something wrong. Just tell me so I can fix it!” Carmy raised his voice as his eyebrows knit together in frustration. 

You propped yourself on your elbows and watched as he picked up his shirt from the floor, “Carmen, please don’t yell at me.” you said calmly. You watched as he rolled his eyes and paced before you, “Baby. I want to have sex with you. I need to have sex with you-” Carmy groaned as he pushed his hands over his face into his hair. Your eyes narrowed, “Carmen. I had a baby-”

 “I KNOW! I fucking know! You had my baby, but now you don’t even want to fuckin’ shower with me! I get it- pregnancy was hard, and then giving birth was hard, and now being a mom is hard.” Carmy started staring at the ceiling while he expressed himself. He took a breath and turned to look at you; regret washed over him when he noticed you were on the verge of tears. “Baby, please don’t cry…” he pleaded as he knelt by the bed. He reached for your hand, but you pulled away before he could grab it, “Sorry, I don’t want to fuck you after taking care of your baby all day.” you spat. Carmy closed his eyes and took another breath trying to compose himself before saying something dumb, “How dare I fail to meet my wifely duties.” you angrily laughed as you stood up. 

You crossed your arms over your chest and stared as Carmy got up. “Baby, I didn’t—" you cut Carmy off with a groan. “Shut up, Carmen. You don’t get to speak to me like that.”

Carmy sighed and stepped closer to you, as he reached out for your hips only for you to slap his hands away. “Don’t touch me.” you glared at him, “Fuck this.” Carmy muttered under his breath as he pulled his shirt back on over his head. “What do you mean ‘fuck this’?” you questioned as Carmy exited the bedroom, “I need air.” Carmy called back to you.

You moved to your bedroom window to see Carmy walking toward his car in the driveway. He got in and pulled his phone out of his jacket pocket. 

Send me your address.

[aestheticaltcow]

for those who ask for part twos, or still don’t understand why content creators ignore requests for those part twos, or stop creating in general, i made a super easy diagram to follow that will help you get those part twos from your favorite writers, or more content from your favorite creators!

[aestheticaltcow]

The Playdate

Richie Jerimovich x Reader

Single parent meet cute? I had this idea a couple of days ago, and it came out almost as good as I wanted.

“Hey. Everything okay?” Richie asked as he answered Tiffany’s call that afternoon. She was frazzled as she explained being held up at work, Frank was out of town, and Eva needed to get picked up from a sleepover… or something like that. She’d been talking so quickly that Richie could barely keep up, “Can you please pick her up and watch her for a couple of hours? I’d really appreciate it, Richie.” 

Richie agreed and quickly pulled on his jacket before walking out of his apartment and to his car. Tiffany had sent him an address on the other side of the city right before the afternoon rush hour; what should have been a 25-minute drive turned into 45. Richie was annoyed when he approached a light yellow house with large flower bushes encapsulating a small front yard decorated with lawn gnomes and large, colorful pinwheels. He rolled his eyes at the sheer asshole-ary of the entire aesthetic. 

He walked up to the front porch and rang the doorbell. He waited a few moments before you answered with a quizzical look. Richie felt himself square his shoulders as he took in your appearance; you weren’t dressed up by any means. Your hair was tied up in a messy bun. Glasses perched on your nose. Funky patterned pants that were practically painted across your thick thighs. A slightly cropped sweatshirt that showed a sliver of skin. Richie noticed the intricate mandala tattoo on your left hand and fingers. He didn’t want to come off as creepy, but it was hard not to check you out.

“Hi, can I help you?” you asked as you leaned against the doorframe. Richie swallowed softly before answering, “Yeah- I’m Richie, Eva’s Dad… here to pick her up. Tiff got held up at work.” 

You nodded, “Come on in, the girls are in the backyard.” 

Richie followed as you walked down a short hallway decorated with family pictures and memorabilia. You opened the backdoor and allowed Richie to walk through before you. He smiled when he saw Eva and your daughter playing on a swing set, happily singing along to the music playing from a portable speaker on the back deck. “Hi baby,” he called, getting Eva’s attention. She waved before looking at your daughter. The two girls nodded before flinging themselves off the swing set. They erupted into laughter when they landed in a patch of grass. You shook your head, “Those girls are gonna be the death of me.” 

Richie chuckled in agreement as you checked your phone for the time. “Hi, Dad!” Eva yelled as she came running up to you and Richie. You smiled as he bent down to scoop up the girl. You didn’t know much about him, just that he and Tiffany divorced a couple of years ago and he worked in the restaurant industry. “Momma, can Eva come play again this week?” your daughter, Violet, questioned as she joined the three of you on the deck. You checked your phone for the date, “I need to talk to your Dad about it, but I think we can figure something out.” 

You watched Richie put Eva back on the ground. “Get your stuff, Eva. We gotta go.” Eva frowned at Richie’s request, but when Violet grabbed her hand and pulled her into the house, the two were back to laughing. You smiled and pushed your glasses up, “Did they drive you crazy?” Richie asked as the two of you walked back into the house. You shook your head, “She’s a good kid, and Violet loves her.”

Richie nodded as he pushed his hands into the pockets of his track pants. “Is she with you or her Mom this weekend?” you asked out of curiosity. Richie thought momentarily before answering that she was with him that weekend but would be back with Tiff on Wednesday. You nodded, “I think Violet’s Dad is coming into town next week, but I can figure something out with Tiffany.”

“You could also just figure it out with me.” Richie rebutted flirtatiously. It made you blush. Richie bit the inside of his cheek as you ducked your head to the side to prevent him from seeing it. “We could just do that.” you laughed as you pulled your phone from your pocket, “What’s your number Richie?” 

The two of you exchanged numbers as the girls bounced down the stairs, laughing about something. “Ready?” Richie questioned, looking down at Eva with a goofy grin. She nodded and looked at you. “Thank you, Y/N!”

“Of course, sweetheart. You’re always welcome at the house, okay?” you responded as the four of you walked back to the front porch. Eva nodded and hugged Violet tightly before she and Richie walked down the walkway to his car. You stood in the doorway and watched him help Eva into the car before walking around to the driver’s side. He waved in your direction with a grin before getting into the car. You bit your lip and quickly scurried back inside. Would it make you a horrible person to ask your daughter’s best friend’s Dad out on a date sometime?

[aestheticaltcow]

I think it’s really important to write down how you feel when you actually feel good. Write about the environment, what you’re thinking, hearing, seeing–It’s necessary to take notice and be aware of that. I feel good right now because the window is open and there’s a nice light breeze coming in, and because it’s silent in my room, and not an anxiety inducing silence but a comforting one. You don’t have to pull out a notepad every single time it happens but every single one of us experiences one moment, however small, as being comfortable and safe, and I think they’re worth remembering. I think if I do this more often it’ll help with my crashes in the future. It’s not much but it’s something. It feels like a meditative state that I didn’t plan or force myself into but that the universe brought to me and it’s a nice thought.

[aestheticaltcow]

The Social Media Manager: The Series (Part 3)

Another installment with a smidge of angst. Six Months Carmy is just very present in my brain...

Moodboard Part 1: Introductions and Donuts Part 2: Meetings, Meetings, Meetings

Drinks?

Marcus laughed when Carmy walked into the kitchen with Sharpie covering his wrist and forearm. He’d known that Rusty thought Carmy was cute and that Carmy was stalking her on Instagram, but he didn’t think that Rusty would make the first move. Carmy walked past Marcus into the office and swiftly closed the door behind himself. Marcus shook his head and went to Syd’s station, “Yo. Hear me out, Rusty and Carmy. She’s into him, he’s into her… imma make it happen.” before Marcus could further explain his scheme on getting Rusty and Carmy together, Syd laughter cut him off. 

“Marcus, you shouldn’t do anything- do you really want your best friend hooking up with Carmy? You saw how he treated Claire. Do you want that for Rusty?” she challenged Marcus, “I like Rusty, and I want to be friends with her- if she and Carmy start dating and Carmy bitches out on her, I can’t be friends with her.” 

Before Marcus could respond, Syd further explained, “Marcus, do you really want your best friend to date your boss? Imagine you go over to Rusty’s place—Carmy's there. You ask her to hang out, and Carmy comes. Oh, you wanna go on a double date with her; Carmy would be there. You can’t complain to your best friend about Carmy anymore because that’s her boyfriend. What if Rusty breaks up with him? Would Carmy take it out on you? Maybe not intentionally, but we both know he would.”

Marcus sighed and crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned back against the wall, “I think he’d be good for Rusty.”

~

You groaned as you dug through her closet that night. Tonight was supposed to just be a chill night out, but you had to mess it up by inviting Carmy. You finally found the white tank top you’d been looking for. You pulled your oversized shirt off and threw it onto your bed before pulling the tank top on; you adjusted your boobs and were satisfied with the way they looked. Now you just had to find the right bottoms. Would jeans be too casual? Would a skirt be too much? Maybe shorts? You huffed in frustration and pushed through your drawers looking for the right bottoms. 

After meticulously applying your makeup and ensuring your hair was neatly styled, you were satisfied with your appearance for the night. “Rusty! You ready?” you heard your friend Sara yell as she walked into your apartment. “As ready as I’ll ever be.” you laughed as you joined her in the living room. 

“This Carmy guy has a chokehold on you, huh?” Sara laughed as she looked you up and down. You shrugged and grabbed your jean jacket from the back of the couch. “I don’t think he’s coming, but just in case…” you explained as Sara rolled her eyes and went on a rant about how there were never cute guys at The White Rabbit. You nodded occasionally as the two of you waited for your Uber.

Your phone vibrated in your pocket to display a text from Carmy.

See you @ 11

~

Marcus looked over his shoulder to see Carmy meticulously scrubbing his station. It was almost 11 PM, and he knew that Carmy had agreed to meet Rusty at some bar. He should have left by now, so why was he still at The Bear.

“Yo Carm. Thought you were meeting up with Rusty.” Marcus said, pulling at the sides of his apron awkwardly. Carmy shook his head, “Yeah- uh, not doing that.” he said as he dragged a dry microfiber towel across the stainless steel counter he’d been scrubbing. 

“Did you tell her that?” Carmy ignored the question and went into the office. Marcus huffed as his face scrunched up; he couldn’t let this douchebag hurt his best friend. “Marcus. Don’t do somethin’ stupid.” Tina warned from her station when she noticed his shoulders square up. Marcus shook his head and went into the office. Carmy sat at the desk going through papers; Marcus couldn’t help but notice his phone was next to him, lighting up with text messages from Rusty. Marcus frowned, “Are you seriously gonna ignore my best friend? She’s fuckin’ gorgeous and funny and kind and too fuckin’ good for you! Don’t treat her like how you treated Claire. Rusty isn’t the kind of girl who begs men to like her. Men beg her to like them, and for whatever reason, she likes you. I don’t care if you’re my boss- I’ll kick your fuckin’ ass.”

Carmy stared at him and ran his tongue across his top lip; he shook his head and went back to his paperwork. “Carmen. Don’t fuck this up. Y/N means everything to me.” Marcus sighed before exiting the office.

[aestheticaltcow]

Fak coded.

[aestheticaltcow]

shuffle your favorite playlist and post the first five songs that come up. then copy/paste this ask to your favorite mutuals <3

You're such a lovely, supportive lil human! I thought I followed you back a couple weeks ago, but sleep-deprived Ruth did not follow, so yay! Now we're mutuals!

I went through my liked playlist on Spotify, and here we go:

Better Off - Chevali,Saphir

please put me in a medically induced coma - carolesdaughter

everything i wanted - Billie Eilish

On My Own - Jaden, Kid Cudi

Just The Way You Are - Pierce The Veil

[aestheticaltcow]

casual (you wonder why I’m bitter) ꨄ︎

Carmen Berzatto holds your hand while he eats you out and says the two of you are “casual” Carmen Berzatto knows your coffee order off heart, proportions, milk, sugar, you name it. But you’re just friends. Carmen Berzatto whispers sweet nothings into your ears after he finishes inside you, but refuses to be seen with you if not behind closed doors. Carmen Berzatto holds your hand while you pee at night because he can’t stand being away from you even for two seconds. But he’d never put a label on whatever it is you’ve got going on. Carmen Berzatto contemplates murdering some fucko who dared flirting with you one night at the bar, but he pretends not to see you when you’re at the same restaurant as he and his coworkers. Carmen Berzatto picked you up from the hospital the day you had to have emergency appendicitis surgery, cooked you noodle soup, bathed you and rocked you to sleep. Yet he’d never even utter that word… the one with two syllables that started with g and ended with d. Carmen Berzatto thinks of you when he thinks of happiness, to cum he’d think of you, hell his last dying thought would be your smile, the smell of your perfume, that face you’d make before you came so pretty for him. Still, at the end of the day you’re both just friends. Carmen Berzatto holds you close when he’s on the verge of an orgasm, head so dizzied, almost out of breath and he tells you to promise him you’ll have his babies, all five of them. But you don’t get ahead of yourself, he doesn’t want more and you’ll take what he gives, you’ll hang around for him. Carmen Berzatto fucks his seed so deep into you, then holds onto your stomach as if his baby is already inside you growing. Yet still, you’re both just friends, just casual.

[aestheticaltcow]

Me. *wants to reach out to more mutuals*

Also me *thinks everything I do is annoying*

[aestheticaltcow]

Healing

Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Reader

This one went in a different direction than originally planned ngl. There isn't a lot of smut but I like how I ended it...

The final part of the Six Month universe Part 1 - Six Months Part 2 - The Night When It Went Wrong Part 3 - The Aftermath Part 4 - Two Months

MDNI 18+

You bit the inside of your cheek, trying to hide the pleasure you felt when Carmy finally erupted inside of you. Carmy’s whimpered moans filled your ear as he nipped at your jaw the way he knew you loved. You sighed as you let your fingers run down Carmy’s toned back. 

When Carmy pulled out, you felt his ejaculation ooze out of you, and regret washed over you. You should have just walked down the hall to your room and pretended you never saw him jacking off with your underwear while he watched a video of the two of you hooking up. You watched him lay next to you and catch his breath before rolling on his side to face you. You reluctantly copied the move and stared at him. 

Carmy gently pushed your bangs away from your face before planting his hand on your cheek. You bit your lip, trying to hide the soft smile on your face. He grinned and took a shallow breath before admitting, “I’m going to work my ass off every day for the rest of my life to prove how sorry I am.”

You nodded in response and moved closer to him. Carmy’s hand left your face, and he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you on top of him as he rolled onto his back. “I love you, baby,” he mumbled into your shoulder as he snuggled you as closely as humanly possible. You nervously swallowed, “Carmy… I don’t think I’m there yet…” you felt his body shift below you. “O-okay.” he stuttered, “Can-n you lay with me a little longer?” 

“Of course, Carm.”

~

“Mia, I need you to eat your breakfast,” you sternly explained as Mia threw pieces of egg on the floor. “Baby girl, come on.” You sighed as you crouched in front of her high chair before taking the fork from her hand. She wiggled, trying to get away from you as you stabbed the sliced banana in front of her. “Mia, let’s have a good morning that starts with a good breakfast.” 

“Are you trying to bargain with our ten-month-old?” Carmy laughed as he stood in the kitchen doorway. You rolled your eyes and stood up, “You try. She’s bein’ so fussy this morning.” Carmy shook his head and went up to her. Mia’s hands immediately started grabbing in his direction, “I swear, I carried you for nine months. 22 hours of labor, and a c-section, only for you to love him more than me… you’re lucky you’re cute.” you playfully teased Mia before planting a kiss on her chubby cheek. Her giggles lit up the room as Carmy pulled a chair beside her, “Okay, princess, let’s eat.” 

As you ate your breakfast, you watched Carmy feed Mia. Something was different about him. You leaned back against the counter and really looked at him. He wore one of his slightly too-tight T-shirts and a pair of black jeans with the same gold chain he’d worn every day. As you scanned his body, you saw it: He was wearing his wedding ring. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d seen him wear it. Something about it made you feel uneasy.

~

“Hey, Carmy… when you get home tonight, do you think we can talk about some stuff?” you asked as you adjusted Mia on your hip. Carmy looked at you like a deer in the headlights and hesitantly nodded as he picked up his backpack from the ground. “It’s nothing bad… just about last night and some other stuff,”  you explained, hoping to alleviate some of his anxiety. Carmy nodded again and slung his bag over his shoulder. He stepped forward and kissed Mia’s head before playfully punching your arm, “Bye, girls…” he grinned before ducking out of the house for the day.

Carmy drummed his thumbs on the steering wheel of his car as he sat in traffic on his way to work. What did you want to talk about? Last night was everything he wanted. The two of you had sex for the first time in almost a year, the two of you slept in the same bed for the first time in months, and for a minute, Carmy had everything he’d wanted. He should have deleted Selena’s number when he got in the car that day. You were going to leave him; that’s what it had to be.

Throughout the day, Carmy was distracted. He was thinking about the conversation the two of you were having that night. He should prepare a speech. Should he buy you flowers? If he left early, he could stop at your favorite bakery and pick you up a sweet treat. Prep, family, and dinner service were a blur. He heard people talking to him, but none of what they said made sense; it was like he was back in school. Everything was going in one ear and out the other. He just needed to get home.

When Carmy walked into the house that night, he felt his heart rate accelerate. He quietly pushed his jacket off and stepped out of his shoes before walking back to your bedroom. You sat in bed doing something on your computer. Carmy sighed before making his presence known. He saw you sitting in the middle of the bed with your hair wrapped up in a microfiber towel, your face shiny from skin care products, and your glasses perched on the bridge of your nose. “Hey baby.” he weakly grinned as he approached the bed. You grinned at him and closed your computer, “Hey Carm.”

“Still wanna talk?” Carmy asked as he shoved his hands into his pant pockets. You patted the mattress beside you and watched as Carmy pulled his hands from his pocket and sat on the edge of the mattress. “Carmy, I want-” You were cut off by Carmy standing up and pacing the space between the bed and closet door. He pushed his hands through his hair, took a deep breath, and looked at you with his fingers still tangled in his hair. “Baby. You can’t leave me. I know I fucked up, but please give me a second chance-”

“Carmy! I wanna go to couple’s counseling.”

~

“I understand that you didn’t have sex with that grocery store whore, but you went to her house with the intention to. And that’s what I’m hung up on.” you calmly explained as you watched Carmy sit back on the ugly cranberry couch in the therapist's office. The two of you had been going to therapy for a little over a month at this point, and while a dialogue was created, he just didn’t understand why you couldn’t move past it.

“How does that make you feel, Carmen?” the therapist questioned as they fidgetted with a pen.

“I’m confused. You kicked me out for like two months, contemplated divorcing me, and then you let me come home and sleep with me, but you’re still ‘not there’ when I tell you I love you. We’re spending a lot of time together as a family, but when I try to hang out with just you- you get weird. Like last night, I sat next to you on the couch and you got up because you ‘had to check on a rendering video’; then you didn’t come back. You act like nothings wrong around Mia or family, but when we’re alone, it’s like you’re in a different universe. Look, I know I fucked up. I just want to know what I need to do to make it right between us. I get we can’t go back to exactly what we had, but do you even like me anymore?” Carmy looked at you while on the verge of tears. 

“Y/N, is there anything you want to say?”

“Carmy, I care about you so much and value our relationship, but right now, I’m just frustrated. I would never cheat on you, and the only reason you didn’t cheat on me was because you ‘couldn’t get hard’... I just- I don’t know what I need from you right now. I really appreciate you agreeing to this, and you’re a wonderful father, but I just don’t know.” you explained as you picked at the hole in your jeans. 

~

Carmy opened the passenger’s door for you, and you quickly slipped into his car. He walked around and slipped in the driver’s seat, “We should start planning Mia’s birthday party.” you brought up as he turned on the car. Carmy nodded in agreement as you grabbed your phone from your purse, “I have a couple of Pinterest boards for party inspo. Since she’s not gonna remember it, we don’t have to go all out, but I like the idea of doing ‘My Berry First’ birthday party since my baby shower was also kinda fruity themed-”

“You don’t like me anymore.” Carmy spat, cutting you off midsentence. “What?” Surprised by his statement, you put your phone down and looked at him. He sighed and pulled over into a 7/11 parking lot. You watched as he tilted his head back and stared at the car's roof before slowly blinking. “Baby. Do you like me? Do you actually want to spend time with me? The only thing we do together anymore is go to couples counseling. You never want to go out to dinner or run errands together- the only time I fuckin’ see you is when we’re doing something with Mia. You say you love me and want to reconcile, but you don’t like me.” Carmy rubbed the back of his neck before glancing in your direction. 

You’d turned in your seat, bringing your left leg up to the seat awkwardly sitting on it, “Carmen… I just- I don’t know. I like you, and I love our family, but it’s just hard.” you began to explain. “Listen, Carmen, I don’t want to divorce you. There’s just this tension- I don’t know how to explain it to you. I look at you and see the man I’ve been with for, like, what, seven years? But then I start thinking about you and that fucking whore. I think about how you didn’t tell her you were married. I think about her kissing you and touching you- it makes me wanna fuckin’ puke.” 

You took a deep breath before continuing, “Carmy, I like you. I’m just- not there yet….”

~

“Hey, I’m gonna go to bed,” you said, poking your head into the living room. Carmy nodded without looking up at you, “Night.” he said as he flipped to a different channel on the TV. You stood against the doorway and watched as he stared at the screen lifelessly. With a sigh, you walked into the living room and stood beside Carmy. He was unphased; you needed to up the antics. You stepped closer and swiftly straddled Carmy’s hips, which thankfully got his attention. Carmy swallowed when you put a hand on his collarbone, “Hey.” you halfheartedly grinned. 

Carmy took swallow breaths as he stared up at you. He allowed himself to rest his palms on your hips before fanning his fingers out to grab the fat of your ass, “I’m not really in the mood, baby.”

You rolled your eyes and playfully hit him, “I swear Carmy… I like you. If I didn’t, I woulda never come up to you at that bar. I wouldn’t have agreed to be exclusive. I wouldn’t have moved into that shitty apartment you had. I wouldn’t have given up that job opportunity in California. I wouldn’t have married you or had your baby. I like you as a person, partner, father to my child…. Let’s spend some time together.” 

~

You rubbed your lips together after applying a layer of pink-tinted lip oil. Your hair and makeup were as good as it was going to get. After slipping on a red barely long enough to cover your butt dress and a pair of black platform boots, you stared at yourself in the mirror. You smoothed down the bottom of your dress and grabbed a slightly oversized light-wash denim jacket along with your bag, “Let’s fuckin go.” you said as you walked out of the bedroom.

Carmy was in the kitchen with Mia on his hip. She had a fist full of his tank top in one hand and one of her stuffed animals in the other. When he heard the dryer go off, Carmy gently put her down, “Race ya?” he asked, hoping to tire her out enough for Donna to keep up with her. Mia plopped on the floor and stared up at him, disinterested in doing anything to make his morning easier. Carmy laughed and walked to the laundry room just off the kitchen. He grabbed a short-sleeved button-up shirt and slipped it on before throwing the rest of the clean clothes in a laundry basket. He felt nervous. It was silly, though- it’s not like he’d never had a date with you. He took a deep breath and returned to the kitchen to see Mia playing with Tupperware; he shook his head and swiftly scooped her off the floor. Mia dropped the container on the floor and grabbed at Carmy’s ear.

“You look pretty,” Carmy said as you sat in the passenger’s seat of his car after strapping Mia into her car seat. You smiled and pushed your bangs back, “You noticed…” you teased. Carmy chuckled as started backing out of the driveway. He put his right hand against your seat as he looked over his shoulder. You held your breath when you noticed his jugular bulge from his neck. 

You were looking out the window when you felt Carmy reach over to your lap, you glance down to see him intertwine his fingers with yours. A blush came to your cheeks as he squeezed your hand softly, you bit your lip and rubbed your index finger between his knuckles.

Dropping Mia off at Donna’s always made you nervous; she’d changed since Natalie had started having kids, but you were haunted by her drunken rants criticizing Carmy for being with you and how you must have only been after his money. You laughed to yourself as you watched Carmy walk Mia into the house. She grabbed in your direction, her adorable little smile shining past the shield of her pacifier. You waved back before Carmy entered the house. 

He came back to the car and pulled his phone out of his pocket to connect to the car’s bluetooth, “Where are we going on our date afternoon?” you asked as you nudged his shoulder. Carmy grinned at his phone as he scrolled through his Spotify playlist looking for a song to play, “If I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise.” he hit play on his phone and pulled away from the curb.

~

A couple of donuts and a walk through the park led you and Carmy to a secluded bench by a pond. “Have we brought Mia here?” you asked, unsure of the familiarity of your surroundings. Carmy nodded, “Sorta—you were pregnant with her.” 

You smiled and scooted closer to him, snaking an arm around his waist. Carmy smiled and threw an arm over your shoulders. “It’s weird. We have a one-year-old. It feels like I was pregnant with her yesterday.” 

“It is. If you could change anything—aside from the obvious—what would you pick?” Carmy asked into your hair as he kissed the top of your head. You thought momentarily, “Well, besides the obvious, I don’t think I’d change anything. We have a pretty cool kid.”

Carmy rubbed your bicep as the two of you watched ducks swim in the pond. Carmy brought his free hand to your chin, pushed it up with his index finger, and brought his lips down to yours. Before the two of you could kiss, he softly whispered, “Can I kiss you, baby?”

Instead of answering, you pressed your lips to his. He kissed back immediately and pulled you closer to him. You cupped his face in your hands as Carmy pulled you onto his lap; your stomach fluttered as Carmy’s grip tightened. As you separated your lips to allow your tongue to slip into Carmy’s mouth, you felt his phone vibrate against your hip. Carmy wanted to ignore the call and risk getting caught for indecent exposure, but when you reluctantly pulled away, he fished his phone out of his pocket and saw Donna’s name flashing across the screen. “Looks like Grandma Donna is at her Mia limit.” he chuckled and answered to have his assumptions confirmed by an overwhelmed Donna and a crying Mia in the background. 

You got up from Carmy’s lap and smoothed down the back of your dress. He swallowed when he saw a peak of your butt cheek as you stood up. “We’re on our way, Ma.” he quickly said into the phone, cutting Donna off mid-sentence before hanging up.

 “We can pick up where we left off later,” you say, biting your lip. Taking Carmy’s hand in yours, you trek back to the car and retrieve an overstimulated Mia from Grandma Donna��s house. By the time the two of you had gotten her to calm down and eat, the mood was gone, but Carmy had promised to make it up to you the following weekend.

~

“Dam, I thought the view from behind was good, but it’s even better up here.” some Andrew Tate-looking man greeted you. You internally cringed as you noticed how he looked at you like a piece of meat. You rolled your eyes and waited for the bartender to finish the drinks you’d ordered. “Can’t even get a hello?” the man questioned you, stepping forward. You scoffed, “I don’t owe you shit- maybe my husband’ll say hello to you.”

“I don’t see a husband anywhere. Don’t play so hard to get a sexy girl. Why don’t you come back to my booth?” His slimy offer disgusted you. You shook your head and slipped the bartender a $20 before taking your drinks back to the small window table you and Carmy had been sitting at. Carmy was outside on the phone dealing with some issue down at the restaurant; he shot you an apologetic smile.

While Carmy was wrapping up his phone call, the man from the bar strode up to the table to convince you to go back to his booth. You weren’t having any of it. “Where’s that husband of yours?” he questioned, sitting where Carmy had been moments prior. You gestured outside; Carmy had his back to the window as he listened to Richie’s nonsensical problem.

“That guy? The one on the phone who’s not even looking at you? I don’t believe you, sweetheart.” he purred as he relaxed into the chair opposite of you. You rolled your eyes and held your left hand up, you wiggled your ring finger; “Say that to the ring on my finger.”

“Come on, baby girl. I just bought a bottle of 925 Diamante Ley. Do one shot with me, and then you can decide if you want to come back to your ‘husband’ or not.” as he reached out to touch your bicep, Carmy cleared his throat. You looked up at him, immediately relieved. The guy looked over his shoulder, and Carmy glared at him, “Get a fuckin’ clue asshole. This is my wife and the mother of my child. Fuck off before I need to make you fuck off.” 

The man looked Carmy up and down before shifting his attention back to you, “Oh hell fuckin’ no. Don’t need that nasty stretched out-” he was cut off by Carmy shoving the guy out of his chair. “Don’t fuckin’ dare finish that dam sentence. She’s a fuckin’ angel, and you should even be allowed in the same room as her.” Carmy spat as the guy stumbled back to his feet. “Yeah, whatever, man- she’s not even that hot.” he scoffed as he pushed past Carmy. You reached out to grab Carmy’s hand as the man walked out of earshot, “He’s not worth it, Carm.” you spoke softly as you squeezed his hand in yours, “Can we just get out of here?” 

Carmy looked back at you, nodded, and pulled you to his side. As the two of you walked out of the bar, you couldn’t help but notice the scuzzball trying to get another table of girls to come back to his booth. You rolled your eyes and wrapped an arm around Carmy’s waist as he directed the two of you back to the car, “Fuck that dude.” Carmy mumbled as he closed your door after you’d gotten into the passenger’s side.

“You know your pussy isn’t ‘stretched out’ or ‘nasty’ right?” Carmy asked, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen over the two of you on the drive home. You nodded, “I know Carmy.” 

When Carmy parked in the driveway, he turned his head to look at you. He put a hand on your thigh and squeezed gently. You placed your hand on his and sighed softly before asking, “Do you wanna take a shower with me?” 

Carmy laughed, “Baby, if I ever say no to that question, have me committed.” You rolled your eyes and opened the car door. As you walked to the front door, Carmy was hot on your heels. Before you could open the door, Carmy wrapped his arms around your waist. You put your head back against his shoulder, “Pay the sitter… I’ll start the shower.” 

Carmy nodded and kissed your cheek before dropping his arms, allowing you to open the front door. You quickly walked down the hall, quickly poking your head into Mia’s bedroom before heading back into the master bedroom. Carmy stared at your ass as you walked away. He sucked in a breath and went into the kitchen to see the babysitter sitting at the kitchen island reading out of a beat-up history book, “Hi, Mr.Berzatto. Mia was a little fussy, but I got her down.” she began to explain. Carmy nodded, not really absorbing anything she’d said. He reached into his pocket and pulled his phone out to Venmo her for the night. “Thanks, kid- Y/N or I’ll call you next time we need you.”

You stood in the bathroom in your underwear, waiting for the shower to heat up and for Carmy to join you. Carmy locked the front door and grabbed the baby monitor from the kitchen counter before barreling down the hallway. When he got to the door to the master bedroom, he took a breath and slowed down so he wouldn’t come off as overly desperate. Walking into the bedroom, he put the baby monitor on your dresser before kicking his shoes off and stripping to his underwear. As he walked to the askew bathroom door, he ran his tongue over his teeth when he noticed you looking at your reflection in the mirror. He noticed you pulling at the skin on your stomach with a frown. Carmy huffed and softly opened the door more. You looked over at him as he stepped further into the bathroom. His hands found your hips and lifted you onto the counter, “So fuckin’ sexy, baby…” Carmy muttered as his lips crashed onto yours. You were taken by surprise but allowed Carmy to wedge himself between your thighs as you wrapped your arms around his neck. 

“Carm- showers on…” you manage to get out after pushing his chest away from you. Begrudgingly, he stepped away and pulled the shower curtain open. “Oh god, you’re trying to boil us alive.” Carmy laughed as he pulled his hand away from the water. You rolled your eyes before hopping off the counter. After removing your bra and underwear you stepped into the shower. Carmy pushed his boxers down and joined you after turning the heat down. 

~

“Can you sleep in here Carmy?” Carmy’s heart stopped as the words left your mouth. He nodded softly trying his hardest to not come off as desperate. You saw through it immediately and playfully nudged his shoulder as you walked past him into the bedroom. Carmy looked in the mirror and pushed his wet hair back with his hands, a goofy grin was plastered on his face at the realization that he’d managed to get back on your good side. 

When Carmy joined you in bed you immediately scooted closer to him, wrapping your arms around his waist. “I missed this…” you mumbled into his chest as you snuggled closer to him. Carmy chuckled and kissed the top of your head.

“I missed this more, baby,” he responded as he pulled you onto his hips. “I love you. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but hurting you was the worst,” he said as he held you. “I’m never going to hurt you like that again.” 

You nodded and pushed yourself up into a sitting position. Staring down at him, you saw the Carmy you’d fallen in love with all those years ago. “You’re not gonna get a third chance, Berzatto. Fuck up again. I’m cutting your dick off.” you threatened, much to his amusement. He shook his head, chuckling, “I won’t need a third chance, baby.”

“Good. I love you, Carmen. Don’t make me look like a fool again.”

[aestheticaltcow]

Someone's fancy and protecting themselves from potential fraud 👀

I use a Faber-Castell Hexo fountain pen with a rose gold casing with my name engraved on it. I also only use blue ink cartridges with it lol

[aestheticaltcow]

This! When I went to see the iron claw there's a scene where the brothers are helping their dad fix a fence and JAWs character is shirtless, I saw the scar but couldn't find any info about what it's from online.

He's talked about the one on his face but not the one on his nape. It looks like a really bad burn to me. I know we're not owed an explanation but I'm curious...

Have any of yall noticed the huge scar on the nape of Jeremy’s neck/his upper back? He’s never mentioned it but I’m so curious what it’s from (it looks like a surgery scar?)

[aestheticaltcow]

Friday! It's coming on Friday!

At one point the final part of the Six Months series will be coming out but I got a bit of writers block so it might be a minute....

[aestheticaltcow]

Love her so much I wrote a fic about her! It has 2 notes but I love it!

Natalie stans unite

[aestheticaltcow]

THE BEAR LEGO CHARACTERS: LEGO SYDCARMY

Too cute (by psychofigs)

Just really too cute

What else will they think of?