aestheticvoyage2020 - Tumblr blog

[aestheticvoyage2020]

The Voyage continues....

On down the road we go, https://aestheticvoyage2021.tumblr.com/archive

[aestheticvoyage2020]

December 2020

December in Tucson is the best - this is why I live here!  Nice cool bluebird days, and lots of time to spend outside.  The biggest theme of this month was progress on home projects including learning to do flooring, finally getting the ceiling in, and work on the patio installing turf, two walkways, and bricking in our firepit. And speaking of home improvements, things were definitely enhanced by a great christmas present of a christmas tree (or three!) from my parents.  Made the festive season more festive for the first in the Finca.

Plenty of celebrating around home this year, as we didn’t really ever leave or go anywhere.  My parents came in for 12 days, and we brough Grandpa around to spend Christmas with us.  We celebrated Havarti’s birthday and New Years Eve from our back patio.   Even without ever leaving home, we made it a full exciting month- a fitting way to close out the covid-year of 2020.

Best Day: Ceiling Done Day Drinking Day - Dec 18

Best Song: Nathaneil Rateliff - Time Stands

Best Quote: The Waking

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. I feel my fate in what I cannot fear. I learn by going where I have to go.

We think by feeling. What is there to know? I hear my being dance from ear to ear. I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Of those so close beside me, which are you? God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there, And learn by going where I have to go. Light takes the Tree; but who can tell us how? The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair; I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Great Nature has another thing to do To you and me, so take the lively air, And, lovely, learn by going where to go. This shaking keeps me steady. I should know. What falls away is always. And is near. I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. I learn by going where I have to go.”

― Theodore Roethke

[aestheticvoyage2020]

Day 366: Thursday December 31, 2020 - “Auld Lang Syne, 2020″

We dressed up as if on our way to a hot date or fun party, but celebrated this new years right here at home, popping champaign on the back patio with the dogs.  Sipped on Traverse City Whiskey under our party decorations and fun hats, face-timed friends and family, and served some epic Nachos for dinner - our last of the year.   Midnight rolled up on us quickly and then we reflected back on our year - a great one for us, where we worked out some kinks and moved our story forward.   And then kissed and made hopes for the fresh year - celebrating the year behind and the year ahead; auld lang syne.  Audrie showed off her 18 weeks baby bump in her flapper dress and looked so beautiful - I had great company to close out 2020.  We started the new year merry, fulfilled, and prepared for the feast that will be 2021.  As we clanked our champaign glasses, it was with the reminder to just enjoy the ride.

Song: One Voice Children’s Choir - Memories

Quote: “The doors to the world of the wild Self are few but precious. If you have a deep scar, that is a door, if you have an old, old story, that is a door. If you love the sky and the water so much you almost cannot bear it, that is a door. If you yearn for a deeper life, a full life, a sane life, that is a door.”― Clarissa Pinkola Estés

[aestheticvoyage2020]

Day 365: Wednesday December 30, 2020 - “Letter To Self”

Each year I pen a letter to self before the close of the year; a love letter to the man I hope to be and things I hope to do in the next calendar year.   This year, I lit a nice fire in the backyard, and poured some red wine, thought for a little while and then scrolled out the 2020 version:

Dear Jake 2021, Lets keep keeping it simple yea? So much of the past year just came to you because you let if flow.  The year behind was one for the books for everyone, but it wasn’t all bad - keep the perspective man!  We achieved a lot: great new home, balance at work, strong partnership, and baby on the way - what more could heart of a man desire?! Not much of what was intended but you wrote a good story any way and got a chance to go slower.  Cheers to the grand permission from the universe to forgive that pressure for a spin.  But what now?  What of your 40th year?  What of this fresh deck?  The table sure is set for a helluva feast.  Big year ahead. No big rah-rah sermon needed this year.  You know, completely, what you need.  Just stay close to the track this year, for you, old navigator, know the way.  Don’t over complicate it.  Apply the lessons from this crazy 2020 and just flow man.  Be solid on the self-made laws - do good and be good as much as you can and if you luck into some adventure - Love it!   But take care of what is most important first...  healthy, family, and that elusive search for the happy-ness; contentment.  Its out there and looking for you too.  Its in the gratitude and in honoring every day.  Your Greatness is not a ghost.   ~Jake 2020

Song: Bahamas - Lost In The Light

Quote: “Deep in their roots, all flowers keep the light” ~Theodore Roethke

[aestheticvoyage2020]

Day 364: Tuesday December 29, 2020 - “Brick Work”

With AC getting a Covid pull and coming home a night early, I had to hustle today to finish my goal of completing the green pad before she came back...which mostly meant putting together my brick walkway.  Took a few trips to Home Depot to get everything here that I needed but after 9 hours of work, I was down - pounding in that las brick just as she messaged me that she had touched down in Tucson.   Pretty exhausting as I am struggling with some real back trouble here at the end of the year...but that doesnt beat the satisfaction of seeing a completed job!   We stapled it down best we could in the hard hard ground and then swept it all off perfect.  In a week or so I’ll come out and remove all the sand from the bricks and spray it off and it should real sweet.   Its a great project and something we can be really happy with as we continue to build our backyard haven.

Song: Tyler Childers - Nose To The Grindstone

Quote: “Love is like a brick. You can build a house, or you can sink a dead body.” ― Lady Gaga

[aestheticvoyage2020]

Day 363: Monday December 28, 2020 - “Lazy Day”

After a productive sunday, and a successful first day back at work, I committed to giving myself one lazy veg sit on the coach and soak it all up kind of evening.  Watched MNF, caught up on some things, but basically did nothing.  Ate Ice Cream, had some wine and took my queue from the dogs who were also all to happy to do nothing but sleep.  We were in bed by 10pm all snuggled in, and from here the frantic reflective race to the end of the and year into a successful start to a new one.    The story of 2020 basically all written up now....time to rest and consider what needs written in 2021.

Quote: “You pigs, you. You rut like pigs, is all. You got the most in you, and you use the least. You hear me, you? Got a million in you and spend pennies. Got a genius in you and think crazies. Got a heart in you and feel empties. All a you. Every you...'[...]

Take a war to make you spend. Take a jam to make you think. Take a challenge to make you great. Rest of the time you sit around lazy, you. Pigs, you! All right, God damn you! I challenge you, me. Die or live and be great. Blow yourselves to Christ gone or come and find me, Gully Foyle, and I make you men. I make you great. I give you the stars.” ― Alfred Bester, The Stars My Destination

Song: Nathaniel Rateliff - Time Stands

[aestheticvoyage2020]

Day 362: Sunday December 27, 2020 - “Recovery Day”

A Sunday on the move, pounding through a recovery themed To Do list, leaving only a couple things undone - shouldve had more coffee!   As a reward for my hardwork putting life and home back together before having to get back to work tomorrow, I ended the night, the week, the season with a nice Christmas smoke outside on the patio, reflecting and gearing up for a new year - my favorite holiday.   Audrie will be home on Wednesday for a couple days so that we can smudge this nutty year out, celebrating our successes, and setting some good intentions for what will be a very big year for us...and maybe just maybe, the best year yet....if we do it right!

Song: Dierks Bentley - Gone

Quote: The Waking

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

I feel my fate in what I cannot fear. I learn by going where I have to go.We think by feeling. What is there to know? I hear my being dance from ear to ear. I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.Of those so close beside me, which are you? God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there, And learn by going where I have to go.Light takes the Tree; but who can tell us how? The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair; I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.Great Nature has another thing to do To you and me, so take the lively air, And, lovely, learn by going where to go.This shaking keeps me steady. I should know. What falls away is always. And is near. I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. I learn by going where I have to go.” ― Theodore Roethke

[aestheticvoyage2020]

Day 361: Saturday December 26, 2020 - “Happy Hours”

We got our chores down and then set outside and soaked in the Arizona sun together, sipping those last good beers together, and enjoyed some last good conversation together, before leaving the Finca and taking everyone home.   Mother Nature cooperated too, giving them one last little good ray of sunshine before they had to return back to snowy michigan, and I soaked up them enjoying it as much as they did.

Song: Eric Church - Hell of a View

Quote: Hang on, hang on… life’s long, energy creates energy, things are all-right, hunger piles up, love waits… and when found… grows. Hang on." ― Jack Kerouac

[aestheticvoyage2020]

Day 360: Friday December 25, 2020 - “Christmas Ham”

Was a lonely morning as I was left to make Christmas breakfast all on my own, without the star of the breakfast show here to do it - Audrie was at work but inbound for a Tucson overnight that woud have her here by 2pm. I made sure that breakfast included some warm cinnamon rolls as tradition suggests. Filled and ready for something special, we climbed into the car with the pups and drove up the mountain, showing off the spectacular sky island views as we went along hearing Grandpa giggle about a time many years ago when Grandma and him made this same drive.   At the top, we found snow and introduced Huck to it, while Havarti tried his sled dog impersonation, pulling dad down to the ground to play....Dad wasn’t nearly as enthused.   There you go Huckleberry, your first look at snow, on Christmas Day - White Christmas.  If Havarti could talk he’d no doubt be warning the little one about the perils of this frozen shit.   While we meandered back down the mountain, the skies cleared off, leaving an almost bluebird breeze - I suppose Blue Christmas isn’t all that bad!  We were down just in time to pick Audrie up and get Christmas really under way.

With Audrie at home and settled in, we got the eggnog flowing and set Go on a new Christmas Day tradition  - a spontaneous polar plunge into the 49 degree pool.  In my underwear.  It didnt hurt near as much as I thought it would.  But I wont be in the pool again probably until at least March.

We took some time to open presents, and the highlight of that was having Grandpa open his. I got a couple surprises - a nice serving dish from our neighbor Jim across the street, TimTams from AC’s crashpad owner all the way from Sydney, and nice Ornament from baby Actingham.  I got my parents into the Alexa and Grandpa got some Cds to listen to, and smoked oysters, and despite laying out the green pad earlier in the week I still managed to surprise Audrie with a hand mixer.   All this being said, the best gift I unwrapped was a bottle of Traverse City Whiskey that should help wash away 2020 on NYE. Thanks Mom!  The puppies got gifts too, and Grandpa got a kick out of that.  More chew toys - just what they need!

As soon as presents were done it was time to hop up and get after it in the kitchen.   Audrie had put a special request in for a Christmas Ham and so we added that to the repertoire.  We also added a handful of Covid-friendly masked visitors spontaneously so we had some work to do to put together a strong meal.   Sweet Potatoes, Squash, Cornbread, Carrot Surprise, rounded it out.  Mr Big Shot over here to finish a long week of cooking.  Pulled it off, and only got a little stressed. But we got it all together with a fun serving line - even Huck tried to fool me by coming down the line!  Had a nice meal with both our families out on the patio, with a really nice fire crackling (Bill brought special mesquite and juniper).  To round it out, Grandpa busted out his guitar and we all sang Silent Night together, ending Christmas with chills on the neck.   

A very long nice day.  By the end I was totally fried out.  We slept like rocks after going to be early.  Christmas all in our memories now until next year.

Song: Carrie Underwood & John Legend - Hallelujah

Quote: “At Christmas A man is at his finest towards the finish of the year; He is almost what he should be when the Christmas season's here; Then he's thinking more of others than he's thought the months before, And the laughter of his children is a joy worth toiling for. He is less a selfish creature than at any other time; When the Christmas spirit rules him he comes close to the sublime.” ― Edgar Guest

[aestheticvoyage2020]

Day 359b: Thursday December 24, 2020 - “Christmas Eve”

When I was young, Christmas Eve tradition wrote that we would spend it down Wisner Rd, at the Acton farm, celebrating with my Dad’s side of the family and would include, after church service, an opportunity to gather round Grandpa with his guitar and sing carols with my cousins before we could open presents.  Those were special memories, the yearly cadence making it seem like it’d be something that would always go on, just like that, forever.  But of course, as we grew and all went our own ways, including my grandparents to Arizona, things would change and new traditions would grow.  For me, that tradition became going out on my own to a lonely place as if to prove with delicate nostalgia that this cowboy was  maybe better off in that way, to eat chocolate covered cherries next to a crackling fire and remember those sepia-toned days as something of the past.   Without the standing tradition, each Christmas has kind of just become its own thing - each different than the last, from wherever I happen to be, doing the most I could to make it just a little more special than a typical day; the ghost of Christmas Present.

But Christmas Eve 2020 was something different and special in a whole new way - a tangled-up-tinsel of past and future, as crazy as the year covid-has-made.   After taking my wife to work, and returning for Egg Nog and It’s A Wonderful Life - (this time not alone, but in the company of my Mom, Dad, and Grandpa)  we went outside and set that crackling fire, and sat around and sang old Christmas Carols around Grandpa’s old Ovation.  A Christmas Story, indeed.  Past, Present, Future, as we celebrated the first Christmas in our new home, and talked about my family on the way.  I imagined my Grandma in the empty seat, being so proud and happy of the scene and what it meant for me, and him, and us.   After the standard favorites of Blue Christmas, and Rudolph, Grandpa turned the lyrics to some of his favorites and blessed me with knowing those that meant so much to him like Green Green Grass of Home, How Great Thou Art, and one I really enjoyed about him singing about Wishing He Was 18 Again.   We snuck in some fun ones too like Folsom Prison and El Paso as we dragged the night into a late night request hour until his fingers were sore.  Selfish of us to enjoy this great gift for as long as we could - this special concert just for us.  It didn’t matter what was in under the tree, a year from now we might stretch to remember - but we’ll always have this clearly - his quiet lyrics, his sincere giggle, his old timey riffs, and for me it was a Christmas where the nostalgia of my past met with the rhythm of my present as we leap into our future, leaving me with a strong feeling of responsibility as a parent to create traditions of this season that hold its love and sentiment greater than anything that can be wrapped, like the Acton Christmas Eves have for me.

Song: Johnny Cash - Green Green Grass of Home

Quote: “And in despair I bowed my head; "There is no peace on earth," I said; "For hate is strong, And mocks the song Of peace on earth, good-will to men!"Then pealed the bells more loud and deep: "God is not dead, nor doth he sleep! The Wrong shall fail, the Right prevail, With peace on earth, good-will to men!” ― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

[aestheticvoyage2020]

Day 359a: Thursday December 24, 2020 - “The Christmas (Tree) Miracle(s)”

The Finca’s first Christmas will be remembered for being the one where in the matter of an hour we went from no Christmas trees on Christmas eve, to having three!  And just in time for us to get them up and decorated before Audrie had to leave and go to work.  We pulled out the lights and the old decorations and the new decorations and decked the hall of the Great Room before eating Steak Dinner with Grandpa.  By nights fall, our First Home ornament, and baby coming soon, and even AC’s first baby ornament were lit in the tree in the big window for the neighborhood to see.  Its a long-short story, but what counted was that a tree arrived - my parent’s big Christmas present to us, and we were grateful - turned out, that it was indeed all part of the story.   We waited until just the nick of time, and St Nick rewarded us by coming down the chimney (or up the street) for 3 lucky deliveries.  We laughed, and cheered, and got to work while pouring the eggnog and singing our favorite carols and wipied away the sweat of that close Christmas call - our first in our home.  That will be a story we’ll happily tell for many christmas’ to come (sure beats three trees coming the day after Christmas!) almost as if it had come straight out of one of those hallmark movies we’ve been watching all week.

I was sad to have to make a run to the airport on Christmas eve, definitely made my heart heavy - though we’ve been lucky to have had Audrie here with us this entire time.  I know she was sad to go too, but we sent her off well fed and happy to have been able to participate in the festivus - we’ll also remember this Christmas as the one where she swung a Tucson overnight and so would be back in just 12+ hours.   As we rolled up to her door at the airport, there wasn’t a single other person or car stirring.  I kissed her and said Merry Christmas and Goodnight then came back home in the backway where I could come up Banff and see our tree, all litl in the window, with our candles - the perfect sight and though about how a year from now, we’d tell of our Finca’s first Christmas while celebrating baby’s first!  And hoped that one wouldn’t include a commute flight to LA in the middle!   Let’s call that forward...and I groaned mid thought realizing, that Christmas night will be here in a blink!  What a big year ahead.

Song: Florida Georgia Line - Lit This Year

Quote: “Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.” ― Hamilton Wright Mabie

[aestheticvoyage2020]

Day 358: Wednesday December 23, 2020 - “Grandpa Comes To Tucson”

Dad and I drove up to Apache Junction today to snatch up Grandpa and bring him back down to Tucson to be with us to celebrate this Christmas.   Such a joy to have him see where we’re living, share in this first Finca Christmas, and be around all of us, including Huckleberry who seemed to especially love him.  No mistletoe needed!  We sat and listened to Perry Como, sipped rum, and watched a great movie (Call of The Wild).

This week, we sure gave him plenty to talk about for the months ahead and fed him well!  Grabbed the Cowboy Claus off the shelf before turning back South - no sense in that special gift sitting there alone.  More than anything else this Christmas, this will be what we all remember the most - that we were blessed to all be together, while so many families were not and that we got to share in Grandpa Acton’s 89th Christmas.   

Song: Perry Como - For The Good Times

Quote:  “I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach.” ― Charles Dickens

[aestheticvoyage2020]

Day 357: Tuesday December 22, 2020 - “Green Christmas”

I suppose adulting as homeowners now is a lot less romantic and we’ve evolved to that place where Christmas presents are negotiated necessary project progress as that will, indeed, be what makes both of us most cheerful and happy.   Sure I threw in the necessary hand mixer at my Dad’s prompting, and let her think her buying her new watch counted as Christmas but really the big Christmas present was figuring out something to do with that big dirt pad that dogs have been wrestling on.  We’ve talked about a handful of ideas but what always seems to rise to the top is the idea of having some nice fake grass...that the green is really what we need - for the puppies, for the dust, for the kiddo on the way.  And it just seems to fit as the next inch forward to getting our backyard, just right.  And so I got all the pavers just right last week and while AC was out of the house today, I went out there with my mom today and talked the plan over with her and made some measuremants and collaborated with my Dad to pick out just the right material and find out where it was at and then we were off. Kept it a surprise for AC until we had it all measured, cut, and wrapped for her...then upon pulling her into the loop we tied it to the top of Silver and drove it home and laid it down along with some new bricks to finish the footprint.   The puppies figured out that they love it immediately, wrestling, rolling, running.  Itd take some time to get the cuts just perfect and stapled down into the ground, but even before that, we were all certain this was a really great Christmas gift idea...   our Green Christmas.  Though the funnies thing, the very next morning, all those yellow leaves finally dropped - like we’d laid out a landing pad.   Thats ok  -I’ll gladly blow off the carpet each day then have to clean up all the dust and dirt in the house!   And I just can’t wait to lay out here on the grass with baby next fall.

Song: Nat King Cole - Christmas Song

Quote: “The essence of gift-giving does not rely on materials things, but on something transcendent, as if it were the last and the only thing that one could willingly give, that gently makes the soul smile.” ― Danny Castillones Sillada

[aestheticvoyage2020]

Day 356: Monday December 21, 2020 - “Christmas Cooking”

We sure gave our kitchen a workout during this Christmas, but better than any ham, or fish, or steak, was the sweets that came out of the galley.  For me the two best christmas treats, far better than any decorated sugar cookies we might find, is Dates Around The Clock and Peanut Butter fudge.  Add in my eve’s chocolate covered cherries and the morning’s cinnamon roll, all consumed over classic carols, and you’ll have my traditions in sum.

This year was blessed my spirited Mom to show the way.  I’d made the dates cookies before a few years back, but never with my mom showing me exactly how and talking me through it.  “Can we Plllease make a double batch?!?!”   But this year she also showed me how the peanut butter fudge gets made, and left us with the recipe.  Fascinating....  stir stir stir stir.

We put together some sweet cookie plates for our neighbors and delivered cheer around the neighborhood, keeping plenty to snack on here over Tequila Rose and homemade ChexMex.   Oh what a time for splurge and on Christmas there is nothing more that I want than these two treats.   Cheers!

Song: Louis Armstrong - Cool Yule

Quote: “Peace means no one is worried about anyone else's cookie...in this moment we are all quietly content with the cookies we have.” ― Amy Krouse Rosenthal

[aestheticvoyage2020]

Day 355: Sunday December 20, 2020 - “Christmas Mamas”

Christmas time visits started today with Deni coming over for a grilled dinner and sharing gifts.  Nice night here in Tucson and we enjoy a nice walk around the neighborhood with the dogs to see the holiday lights.  We had both our mama’s helping us out this year in the first Finca Christmas, bringing old decorations from both of our homes into ours, including Deni’s old Advent Calendar that we put up dozens of times over the week!  And of course there was my own mama there in her smashed Santa shirt, looking for our baby in AC’s belly for us.  And somewhere in there, sitting by the fire, overlooking the scene, I had a vision of Audrie being a crazy mama sometime many christmas’ from now and how great it will be some day to be able to spend funny Christmas seasons with our adult kiddo.  I hope to pass on the love of decorating and christmas music, the way our mamas have to us.

Song: Elvis Presley - Santa Claus Is Back In Town

Quote: “But kids don't stay with you if you do it right. It's the one job where, the better you are, the more surely you won't be needed in the long run.” ― Barbara Kingsolver

[aestheticvoyage2020]

Day 354: Saturday December 19, 2020  - “Huck’s First Hike”

The family joined up on Mt Lemmon to participate in puppy’s first hike - and it was a big one for our big boy, the Soldier Trail on a warm calm Saturday afternoon.  Havarti showed the way on one of his favorites, taking Grandma and Grandpa up to the overlook where we stopped for chips and beer, our participation trophies before turning back to take in the views of the Old Pueblo below.  A long way from Ludington, covered in snow, we provided my parents with desert landscape, scorched by drought and I imagined it looking and feeling as foreign as it always did to me over these past few years settling in here.  As I stretched my legs and lungs out here today, thinking about the end of a year and the start of a new, I set some intention to spend so much more time up and out here... especially since we now know Huck to be a strong hiker!  He handled this like it was nothing, and followed brother, good on his leash, and staying out of trouble.   Hucklenutts scored an A+ in his first hike.  More to come for your little buddy - vowing to make him  a strong and good hiking dog.

We came down off the mountain and I treated the crew to some beers, mostly a reward for their efforts in getting our ceiling up, but also a celebration of the next to last Saturday night of 2020.   Had pints at Crooked Tooth, out on the patio, where our Tucson Tans were popular attractions and good boys.  Mom got us a variety of tacos from Boca for a nice dinner surprise.  Tacos, Beers, and Hike - a perfect Tucson Saturday in December.

Song:  Ed Kenney - Numbah One Day of Christmas (12 Days of Christmas Hawaiian Style)

Quote: “The beauty of any first time is that it leads to a thousand others...” ― Pico Iyer