i had like 2 panic attacks today cool
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oh cool my sad came back
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hhhhhhh i'm such a jealous person U_U
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ok what the heckaroo i woke up at 1:45ish & i can't sleep becaus ethe internet is all around me go to sleep char u wanna go say helo to a farmer or two at the farmers' market tomorrow. and not be a grumpy for sister's hs graduation. and not have to take one of yr three remaining ativan when u go to eat a food with a weird assortment of family members (mom, mom's bro, mom's parents, probably stepdad, probably stepbro, definitely dad, definitely sister) ??
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it only makes sense if you're willing to go through some really rough, tough feelings and like why would you unless you were really confident that you could take care of yourself just fine on your own
and then once you do choose a person what if they choose someone else or your perceive them to be choosing someone else??and what like
how are you supposed to feel about that
and what if at some point you are able to take care of yourself--is it possible that romance actually makes it near impossible to continue to do so because thats what it feels like half the time
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路
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I HAVENT CRIED IN A LOT OF DAYS BUT
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路
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like i dont feel manic anymore.. im taking it anyway i dont care. i need to have a full convo w him abt this before going off it bc um jesus like no
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plus there are factors that make this weird um like how i've stopped drinking coffee
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ick ick ick my psych wants me to go off zoloft & apparently there wont be withdrawal bc my dose is low butttttt ??????? i dont think that's true like idk hes the expert but ????? that one time i accidentally didnt take it it was kinda scary ??????????????
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