ai-martino - Tumblr blog

[ai-martino]

“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.”

— Suzy Kassem (via marijuanamodels)

[ai-martino]

[ai-martino]

[ai-martino]

The sun rises calmly and so the waves. While everyone is brewing coffee I get to walk quickly on the seashore, with the comfort of waves and  coffee aroma I am able to find peace. I am still in shock of how my life is going, how I survive everyday, how I endure this heavy heart but God is just so good  for giving me such an extra-ordinary strenght. I  stepped on the water to feel how refreshing it is while floating with the waves, how I wish I could live like this everyday, far from cruel environment.

All of my colleagues are busy  talking about random topics. I silently listen to them and unknowingly giggles with some of their jokes. Giggling  is not my typical thing  so everytime I do, everyone will surely throw a surprise look.  One of my classmates invites me for a sandbar party tonight, though I am not into this kind of stuff  but I wanted to try, so I gave her a nod.

After an hour of random talks and coffee, our coordinator Mrs. Punsalan called us to start the retreat, it was an activity hosted by  "An Open Door Foundation Inc." a foundation where I am volunteering as an art teacher.

I finished Mass Communication course, its surprisingly ironic to what I really am so I pursue journalism, I  focused more on writing, admittedly, I had written various novels and donated all the proceeds to  various foundations where I grew up.

Yes! I was a foundling, I grew up without a family. When sister Jelli saw me at the street, I was barefooted, ripped clothes, devastated face, bruises and wounds caused me chills and I  almost see heaven that time. So  I kinda' hate this kind of activity especially when being asked to think of  something most unforgettable.

It doesn't ease me, it hurts me even more.

The retreat is getting into a deep emotions. Some of them are crying while hugging each other, some are yelling for forgiveness  I stayed in silence and turn a stare at nowhere. I have no one to apologize to because no one will forgive, I have no one to forgive because no one apologizes, perhaps I cannot cry  because I  am empty.

I waited for the retreat to be over and everyone to come out. I wanted to leave the room last. No particular reason, I just wanted to be alone.  I stayed at the retreat room for a couple of hours and take the opportunity to write.

While enjoying my writing someone bumped on the door. It is really strong that it almost breaks. I hurriedly stood up to see who was bumping.. my eyes almost came out to see a tall-beardy-hunk man in a white sando and a boxer! With a glass of whisky on his hand Holy shit!! He really has a huge balls. I pushed him away , immediately close the door and lean for a second with eyeballs still bulging, I  am still in shock with those things. So I take a deep breath before I open the door again to check if he is still there.

*guy murmurs*

In a most decent and prim act I checked on him, wakes him up but gain no response, I slowly grab the glass of whisky from his hand and inspect whether he has a phone or an identity card to know his name, but everytime I turn a look at the bottom I am so bothered of that huge thing! I dunno but some part of my mind is telling me to touch it but I really can't!, the form is quiet scary. I grab his wrist to check his pulse and it seems normal, maybe he just passed out due to excessive alcohol intake.

I can't carry him in, I have been calling Shey my bestfriend but she's not attending calls, there were no telephone at the retreat room and the reception area is quiet far  so I left him outside and I think he deserves it, I hope when he wakes up he will learn self-control.

But wait! Ain't that evil as you think, don't worry guys I left the door open so he can get inside if he gain consciousness.

* The guy groans, while crawling inside*

I almost jumped on my feet with that groan! I can see him crawl,he's really crazy, he crawls like a zombie! I hide under the table  trying not to look at him and take small steps to escape..

" So, you are leaving again?"

I freeze when he suddenly speaks, he get up from the floor and walk towards me, my toes are trembling as he look at me like a serial killer, his drunk eyes are really scary, he come very close that our nose are almost touching, I can smell the alcohol in his breath that almost caused me to throw out.

With a shaking hands I pushed him away I haven't had a strong muscles to knock him down but a little space is enough to do an  escape. He stared at me and he was crying, then he turn back and leads me to the door. I run as fast as I could. I was about to call the police to report him abusive but the appearance of  sadness on his face  melts my heart; and all that had happen that morning remain a secret.

The breezing touch of sand and waves gradually calm my heart as I convey myself in the seashore. Playing with the sand and scattered seashells are also my hobby. The sun is about to touch the horizon so I sat down to watch the sunset and take a picture.

" I can take you a picture, if you want Ma'am"

A gentle guy offers me a help to catch the beautiful sunset view for a pic. Without a second thought, I agreed.

" Thank you so much......?"

"I'm Nix , a resident photographer of this resort, if you don't mind may I know your name Ma'am?"

" Alodia"

" Nice to meet you Ma'am Alodia"

" You can call me my name, no need to attach "Ma'am" on it, its too formal and it makes me feel old."

His face blushes after saying him such words. I don't intend to offend nor intimidate   so I offer him a handshake which he accepts politely.

" A---lodia, Im actually strolling around, looking fo a scenematic view to capture, if you are free, can you join me?"

I don't think  i have an  idea to refuse, so I join him and we stroll around the resort. he introduced to me every corner of every  places of the resort, he's very entertaining that he never allows a single moment to  be unuseful. 

He handed  me his camera and encourage me to try to capture a scene of the setting sun. Im a little shy to try because I don't really have a skill on photography but he seems very persistent that I can't disagree.

It was the first time I had a long conversation with a stranger like being so generous of my laughters and time, I don't know but I am so relieved when I am with him.

We almost didn't notice that its merely dinner, I'm starting to worry because I didn't get to inform Shey and Mrs. Punzalan about what I am doing, since I haven't join them for an activity after the retreat. I bade goodbye to Nix and extend my appreciation of a free tour and entertainment.

He walked me on the way to our Villa, my colleagues are there, preparing for dinner. Shey, run towards me and gave a tight hug. She paused for awhile when she saw Nix behind me, I can see in her eyes that she's concluding a controversial thoughts about me and Nix, so I speak ahead before she was able to tell controversies.

In a very manly manner, Nix offer a handshake to shey and Introduce himself. Shey has a little shyness yet a huge interest with him, ( i can tell because she has that awkward mannerism of curling and flipping her hair everytime she sees a handsome man) well they're a good match.

I left them for awhile and head straight to an outdoor kitchen where the foods are being prepared. Some of my colleagues are murmuring while staring at Shey and Nix

Im a little curios why but I don't bother to ask , instead I reminded them for a sandbar party tonight.

[ai-martino]

The sun rises calmly and so the waves. While everyone is brewing coffee I get to walk quickly on the seashore, with the comfort of waves and  coffee aroma I am able to find peace. I am still in shock of how my life is going, how I survive everyday, how I endure this heavy heart but God is just so good  for giving me such an extra-ordinary strenght. I  stepped on the water to feel how refreshing it is while floating with the waves, how I wish I could live like this everyday, far from cruel environment.

All of my colleagues are busy  talking about random topics. I silently listen to them and unknowingly giggles with some of their jokes. Giggling  is not my typical thing  so everytime I do, everyone will surely throw a surprise look.  One of my classmates invites me for a sandbar party tonight, though I am not into this kind of stuff  but I wanted to try, so I gave her a nod.

After an hour of random talks and coffee, our coordinator Mrs. Punsalan called us to start the retreat, it was an activity hosted by  "An Open Door Foundation Inc." a foundation where I am volunteering as an art teacher.

I finished Mass Communication course, its surprisingly ironic to what I really am so I pursue journalism, I  focused more on writing, admittedly, I had written various novels and donated all the proceeds to  various foundations where I grew up.

Yes! I was a foundling, I grew up without a family. When sister Jelli saw me at the street, I was barefooted, ripped clothes, devastated face, bruises and wounds caused me chills and I  almost see heaven that time. So  I kinda' hate this kind of activity especially when being asked to think of  something most unforgettable.

It doesn't ease me, it hurts me even more.

The retreat is getting into a deep emotions. Some of them are crying while hugging each other, some are yelling for forgiveness  I stayed in silence and turn a stare at nowhere. I have no one to apologize to because no one will forgive, I have no one to forgive because no one apologizes, perhaps I cannot cry  because I  am empty.

I waited for the retreat to be over and everyone to come out. I wanted to leave the room last. No particular reason, I just wanted to be alone.  I stayed at the retreat room for a couple of hours and take the opportunity to write.

While enjoying my writing someone bumped on the door. It is really strong that it almost breaks. I hurriedly stood up to see who was bumping.. my eyes almost came out to see a tall-beardy-hunk man in a white sando and a boxer! With a glass of whisky on his hand Holy shit!! He really has a huge balls. I pushed him away , immediately close the door and lean for a second with eyeballs still bulging, I  am still in shock with those things. So I take a deep breath before I open the door again to check if he is still there.

*guy murmurs*

In a most decent and prim act I checked on him, wakes him up but gain no response, I slowly grab the glass of whisky from his hand and inspect whether he has a phone or an identity card to know his name, but everytime I turn a look at the bottom I am so bothered of that huge thing! I dunno but some part of my mind is telling me to touch it but I really can't!, the form is quiet scary. I grab his wrist to check his pulse and it seems normal, maybe he just passed out due to excessive alcohol intake.

I can't carry him in, I have been calling Shey my bestfriend but she's not attending calls, there were no telephone at the retreat room and the reception area is quiet far  so I left him outside and I think he deserves it, I hope when he wakes up he will learn self-control.

But wait! Ain't that evil as you think, don't worry guys I left the door open so he can get inside if he gain consciousness.

* The guy groans, while crawling inside*

I almost jumped on my feet with that groan! I can see him crawl,he's really crazy, he crawls like a zombie! I hide under the table  trying not to look at him and take small steps to escape..

" So, you are leaving again?"

I freeze when he suddenly speaks, he get up from the floor and walk towards me, my toes are trembling as he look at me like a serial killer, his drunk eyes are really scary, he come very close that our nose are almost touching, I can smell the alcohol in his breath that almost caused me to throw out.

With a shaking hands I pushed him away I haven't had a strong muscles to knock him down but a little space is enough to do an  escape. He stared at me and he was crying, then he turn back and leads me to the door. I run as fast as I could. I was about to call the police to report him abusive but the appearance of  sadness on his face  melts my heart; and all that had happen that morning remain a secret.

The breezing touch of sand and waves gradually calm my heart as I convey myself in the seashore. Playing with the sand and scattered seashells are also my hobby. The sun is about to touch the horizon so I sat down to watch the sunset and take a picture.

" I can take you a picture, if you want Ma'am"

A gentle guy offers me a help to catch the beautiful sunset view for a pic. Without a second thought, I agreed.

" Thank you so much......?"

"I'm Nix , a resident photographer of this resort, if you don't mind may I know your name Ma'am?"

" Alodia"

" Nice to meet you Ma'am Alodia"

" You can call me my name, no need to attach "Ma'am" on it, its too formal and it makes me feel old."

His face blushes after saying him such words. I don't intend to offend nor intimidate   so I offer him a handshake which he accepts politely.

" A---lodia, Im actually strolling around, looking fo a scenematic view to capture, if you are free, can you join me?"

I don't think  i have an  idea to refuse, so I join him and we stroll around the resort. he introduced to me every corner of every  places of the resort, he's very entertaining that he never allows a single moment to  be unuseful. 

He handed  me his camera and encourage me to try to capture a scene of the setting sun. Im a little shy to try because I don't really have a skill on photography but he seems very persistent that I can't disagree.

It was the first time I had a long conversation with a stranger like being so generous of my laughters and time, I don't know but I am so relieved when I am with him.

We almost didn't notice that its merely dinner, I'm starting to worry because I didn't get to inform Shey and Mrs. Punzalan about what I am doing, since I haven't join them for an activity after the retreat. I bade goodbye to Nix and extend my appreciation of a free tour and entertainment.

He walked me on the way to our Villa, my colleagues are there, preparing for dinner. Shey, run towards me and gave a tight hug. She paused for awhile when she saw Nix behind me, I can see in her eyes that she's concluding a controversial thoughts about me and Nix, so I speak ahead before she was able to tell controversies.

In a very manly manner, Nix offer a handshake to shey and Introduce himself. Shey has a little shyness yet a huge interest with him, ( i can tell because she has that awkward mannerism of curling and flipping her hair everytime she sees a handsome man) well they're a good match.

I left them for awhile and head straight to an outdoor kitchen where the foods are being prepared. Some of my colleagues are murmuring while staring at Shey and Nix

Im a little curios why but I don't bother to ask , instead I reminded them for a sandbar party tonight.

[ai-martino]

I think you're deep, and fragile, and broken, and that's makes you beautiful.

— Nikita Gill, Your Body Is An Ocean

[ai-martino]

The withering sky covered the entire village. The vibrant exchange of thunders and sirens’ horns led people to panic. I was just sitting in my room, contemplating what’s going on, I couldn’t calm myself so I moved closer to the window to see what’s happening. I almost fainted in shock when I saw a mass of people crowding on our neighbor’s backyard, after a few minutes the cop’s cover-up the entire house, I hurriedly called my mom to report the incident but her phone was out of coverage. The butterflies in my stomach were outraging, I can feel my hands shaking and toes trembling, our house was just a wall away from them and I was left  alone . I tried to escape so I climbed at the roof to hid myself.  I heard a helpless cry so I made a whistling sound to caught attention. A girl in a red pajama went out, she had a long black hair and a purple ponytail on it. I waved my hand to gave her a signal, and I can tell from her face that she badly needed a help.

  The cops were still banging at the door, the other guy had broken the window, there were tremendous screaming and a successive gunshot; after a few minutes the cops carried out the dead bodies, I saw a  couple of dead bodies covered with a white-bloody cloth. I looked around hoping to see the girl in a red pajama. I cannot explain but my heart was pounding so fast like, there was something inside that pushed me to chased her. The people were crowding on the way so I took the opportunity to sneak-out and find her.

I haven’t gotten along with the girl but I knew where she always goes because I was watching her, there was this secret place at the back of their house near our “BODEGA” where I see her often. Carefully, I sneaked to that place to rescue her but to my surprise the most painful and heartbreaking moment appeared in front of me.

I found her hugging him tight with tears of pain run down their cheeks, she was covering her younger brother’s ears while calmly wiping the tears in his eyes. I watch over them before they are able to take a step to go back, I showed up and drag them back to the dark. I know someone will going to kill them when they reach there. They stared at me nervously, yet, I still grab their hands and we run together. 

I thought was  going to save them that time, unfortunately we get caught. The cops snatched them from my hands, I was too young o fight against them, I tried not to let them go but I was too weak.

They had just lost their parents and the people were cursing them. The pouring rain was an excused for  me to hid my tears. I didn’t even get a chance to ask her name but my heart was mourning, it was grieving while  looking at her shielding her brother from the cruel-tongue of these people.

  We got to stare at each other before they were taken and that was the last time, she threw a look at me.

*Had started tryin' a luck to write stories again after a long time of struggles from mental health. It was actually a prologue of the story I was writing. I'll be posting the continuation soon. Lookin' forward to know and interact new friends here☺️🙂❤️

[ai-martino]

“A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly.”

— Proverbs 14:29 NIV (via quotesonquotes)

[ai-martino]

We always see people smiling but we usually misunderstood the message they wanted to tell. Either those smiles are genuine or pretentious, we never know.

So please let us be aware of other people's feelings.❤️