akaiiros

[akaiiros]

my three favorite things are the oxford comma, irony, and missed opportunities

[akaiiros]

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

[akaiiros]

that was lowkey churlish and ribald but i'm still amenable to you

[akaiiros]

does anyone have that quote that goes something like 'white germans under the nazis lived just fine as long as they were loyal to the state, gave their children to the army, and paid their taxes, and in this sense many americans would be comfortable living under fascism' trying to find who said it but google is giving me jack shit

[akaiiros]

[staggering to my feet and wiping a single perfect drip of blood from my mouth] i have to get back on my bullshit. no matter the cost

[akaiiros]

Crazy thing about #healing #recovery Small Victories is when you'll have some shit going on that's like, saying this would involve admitting how you used to be doing. You know? Like hey guys good news I'm gonna change my bedsheets this year

[akaiiros]

random anecdote for father's day: one time during a long car ride my dad asked me, "you're familiar with Murphy's Law, right?" and i was like "isn't that the one about how anything that can go wrong will go wrong?" and he said "yeah, exactly" and i said "why do you ask?" and he went "well, have you heard of Cole's Law?" and i said "no, actually, what's that?" and he said "it's mostly lettuce and carrots with a little dressing mixed in"

[akaiiros]

every time someone says “look how they’re looking at each other! they’re in love!” about a non-canon ship i just think of the kuleshov effect for a second but then i come to my senses and decide to have fun

[akaiiros]

I love that people just screenshot tiktoks. Fuck videos

[akaiiros]

tbh people don't give zuko enough credit like wtf are you supposed to say when someone hits you with "my girlfriend turned into the moon" like. damn. that is in fact rough buddy

[akaiiros]

If you have achieved something, please remember to observe a mandatory period of basking in the warm glow of your achievement like a lizard on a stone, lest you teach your brain that effort is futile, actually, because it didn't get to enjoy its happy chemicals, so, naturally, nothing good ever comes of trying. (And no, avoiding punishment is not a reward!)

I recommend, like, 5% of basking time in relation to whatever time you invested into achieving the thing minimum. And if you can't make your own bask, friend-brought is fine (= tell your friends!).

[akaiiros]

think that everyone has their own personal theme in life

[akaiiros]

getting murdered but i can’t even afford the name brand stuff so im getting snawed in half and scrabbed to death and shit

[akaiiros]

A Prayer by lei min

[akaiiros]

one of the most challenging skills i've had to learn as an adult is the art of figuring out whether i'm proportionally annoyed with someone or just tired and overstimulated and looking for reasons to be pissed off

[akaiiros]

Sent a 12 year old on a fake Hero’s Journey last week and holy shit he actually did it