akhtarak

[akhtarak]

the Pilot

I am 35 and single, I’ve decided to tell my dating experiences as many think they are freaking funny 🙂

This one will be when I met The Pilot.

it was the year 2020, Corona was everywhere and the hygiene freak and Nosophobia I am, I wouldn’t see anyone or go anywhere unnecessary, home all the time till I matched with The Pilot on Tinder, we texted a little and he invited me to his place which apparently had a huge balcony and we could hang out with social distancing.

For your information, I am selectively spontaneous, and he was hot, so I accepted 😀 drove there and we sat on the balcony as agreed.

well I live in Oman, it’s literally The Hell described during the summertime, so it was a hot hot day and his house was by the Sea, so the humidity was so high, we started with a cold beer and ended up doing Vodka shots, sweating so much, I was all wet, and we started kissing, and other stuff a little, but the classy girl I am (read stupid :D), I stopped him and went home, so we have been there for more than a couple of hours and the only liquid we drank was the alcohol and the small bottle of water he insisted I take and drink on my way home. I learned a German sentence from him which he would say every 5 minutes, alles gut, which means all is good.

I reached, showered, and got to bed directly, tomorrow morning I could barely open my eyes, so apparently, all was not good as he would say, exhausted and sick, so you see I freaked out, reading all the articles about Corona's symptoms and all, on the other hand, he didn’t text me, not even one hi.

I stayed the whole day in bed and the day after i started to feel better, i realized i was deadly dehydrated 😀 and since i haven’t heard from him, it did not worth it, till i did :), he texted me in the afternoon asking how i was, apparently he was sick too and in bed the whole time, i started to feel better and by end of the week i was fine and invited him over for a little wine and cheese fest, after a couple of drinks we decided to take the party in to the bedroom, started with kissing and a lot of touching, then suddenly he went down on me, oh my goddd, i was not ready for that but he was serious and apparently an expert, he kept saying alles gut and continue, he was even unhappy that apparently because of the taste of the wine he couldn’t taste me good (air quote), i’m a little shy to reveal the rest but long story short there was a lot of effort and waiting and a long conversation of its ok, it happens to a lot of guys, it doesn’t change anything… well as you understood by now he couldn’t perform, the hot pilot with all the ego and charm couldn’t get it up.

you would think he be embarrassed or upset, nooo, the first thing that came to his mind was he couldn’t perform cause I was not a fan of tasting him 😀 at the moment I realized why flight attendants are so on demand, I hated them even more 😀

you would think when he saw my shocked face he would reason? nooo, the second excuse was that its cause I'm a smart, sharp lady, and he got to know me a little and he liked me, otherwise he would perform on me (air quote) in the kitchen an hour ago when I was preparing snacks, man I couldn’t stop laughing while judging him.

if you’re curious he woke up in the middle of the night and left, and I have never heard from him 😀 and I resisted the temptation of sending him a text saying alles gut, lol 😀

The End

[akhtarak]

intro ;)

hey all, this is Akhtar, an Iranian girl who is trying to find a new country to call home and spread her roots there, meanwhile I'm living in Istanbul, Turkey.

I’ve started this blog to specifically write about my dating experiences, I might’ve been traumatized by them but I’ll tell you from a funny point of view, we will all enjoy and might learn something :)