akireu-13

[akireu-13]

there’s nothing wrong with me plus i don’t have any wants or needs plus i don’t feel or think at all

[akireu-13]

[akireu-13]

dug up a fifth of hood river gin that stuff tastes like medicine but i’ll take it it’ll do on the couch in the living room all day long music on the television playing our song i’m in the mood the mood for you turn the volume up real high all of that money look at it fly and you smoking like a chimney shadows crawled along the living room’s length i held onto you with a desperate strength with everything everything in me and i handed you a drink of that lovely little thing on which our survival depends people say that friends don’t destroy one another what do they know about friends thunderclouds forming cream white moon everything’s going to be okay soon maybe tomorrow maybe the next day carried you up the stairs that night all of this could be yours if the price is right i heard cars headed down to oblivion up on the expressway your drunken kisses lighter than the air maybe everything that falls eventually rises our house sinking into disrepair but look at this showroom filled with fabulous prizes

[akireu-13]

An Interview with Dot.

[akireu-13]

my partner said something that kinda rocked my world

[akireu-13]

anglerfish 

[akireu-13]

the only thing I need on my finals week is a cold metal embrace

[akireu-13]

you fucking with fat bitches?

Since day 1 you stupid son of a bitch

[akireu-13]

[forgetting I am mentally ill] why do I feel so Bad

[akireu-13]

okay

[akireu-13]

Honestly so glad I transitioned because it made my experience with bisexuality so much more freeing, in a sense? Looking back I really did not like the trappings of a standard "straight relationship setup" that I had with women and because of that I looked for men as an escape and as a way to properly express the other half of my sexuality. It felt like there were a lot of standards and expectations I had to meet when I was dating cishet women as a (at the time) cis bi guy and I never saw those same trappings when I looked at male/male relationships. I didn't know the words for it at the time but I desperately craved specifically queer affection, with all its weirdness and lack of rules. Now that I've transitioned it feels 1. So much nicer to be with others in a body I actually love being in and 2. I realize I don't and never had to adhere to those trappings I was so afraid of!! I can just be Mason in a Relationship first and foremost and all the perceived "right" ways of dating women are out the door. Now none of that matters!! I like them all in equal fashion. It's very liberating to no longer carry those biases and external expectations.

[akireu-13]

nobody call mental health services, i cant do anything until the house is sold lol

[akireu-13]

„Suicide is selfish“ let me be selfish for once in my life.

[akireu-13]

Hahahahahahahaha BPD episode

[akireu-13]

pls don’t flirt with me i want to be nonchalant so bad but i unfortunately crave connection so intensely that i will give you my entire soul and forgive you over and over until i’ve lost myself completely and feel like i’m drowning

[akireu-13]

i'm really fucking scared this is all i will ever be

[akireu-13]

realizing you’re built to understand but not to be understood