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I know you’re tired bitch but keep fucking going

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literally me while wine-drunk

me at 4 am on a school night

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to my ex’s girlfriend

You’re welcome for teaching that boy

How to be a gentleman,

How not to treat women like a toy.

He does the best he can,

Because I told him it’ll be worth it, he’ll see.

He won’t make you wait, 

and he’ll always pay for the date,

To remind you he’ll work hard to make you happy.

He’ll hold open the door and squeeze your butt,

He’ll anticipate the smack on his arm,

And he’ll still do it no matter what.

His arms will keep you safe and warm,

Envelope you with that smell of good cologne

That’ll make you never want to leave him alone.

 I should apologize, though,

For all the pain I made him feel.

He knows what it’s like to be low,

But he now knows how to deal.

I’m likely why he’s guarded;

After all, I was his first love,

And it wasn’t easy when we parted.

 We had plenty of problems along the ride,

And I’m sure you guys will too.

There will be pain, there will more than one fight.

He’ll break down, he’ll be unsure what to do.

He’s not good with words, that’s for sure,

He’s a boy at heart, not able to grow up.

But he will try to learn.

It will be hard; it’s going to be tough.

But anything worth fighting for,

Will be all you need and more.

 It didn’t work with him and me,

But I wish all the love for you.

What’s meant to be will be,

And I’m happy he has someone new.

He’s a good man, he means well,

And one more thing I will tell:

Take care of his heart,

Something that I may have torn apart.

-a.k.m

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I thought I knew what love was

When I dedicated my heart to the boy of my childhood, who “never felt that way” about me after five years of growing up together.

When I waited on the side for “the right time” for the boy who slept with other girls to finally choose to be with me, though he never did.

When I spoke all the best and answered every drunk call of the boy who led me on and made me his second choice twice.

When I kept giving chances to a boy for three years who promised more effort and changes that he never kept.

But then I fell for him.

The man who stares at me with eyes that whisper, ‘I adore you” and a genuine smile that says 'you make me happy’ and a hand that always finds its way into mine.  Lips that make me laugh mid-kiss because they shower me with 'I love you's and 'you’re beautiful's.  Hugs that constantly remind me I’m wanted.

You’ll know what love really is when you find it.

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the summer before sophomore year of high school, my friends and i were messing around on omegle as youngins do and i stumbled upon this normal-looking guy instead of the creeps we had continuously been seeing.  the guy and i started a conversation and i learned he lived in canada, while i lived in florida.  we talked about everything from snow to cats to maple syrup, and for some reason there was something special enough about that night that made us both exchange snapchats.  i didn’t think anything would actually come of it except the fun story of a night connecting with a random stranger on omegle on a summer night.

to my surprise, we somehow managed to keep up with each other when we could.  it was nice to have a friend on the other side of the country who would check up on me seemingly when i needed a friend the most.  i kept joking about how i would go to canada to see him and see snow for the first time.  we talked about the things we’d do and the things i had to experience there.  i told all my friends about it for years but the hope of actually going seemed impossible while in college and working full-time to support myself.

after four years, i managed to save enough money to fly myself to canada where i finally met my friend after all that time.  we hugged for a long time when we first saw each other and lost track of time every moment we were together.  

moral of this story is that you may find the most unexpected of friends at the most unexpected times in the most unexpected circumstances.

to my canadian, thank you for being an amazingly spontaneous friend in my life.

anyone else have one of those Formative Omegle Experiences that’s stuck with you

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I love the guy who’s clearly a teacher who came over with the intent to tear two fucking idiot teenagers apart from each other only to find these fucking nerds it probably made his entire month

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finding you in our cycle of love

the first thing I find is the glint in your eyes

when they’re staring only at me.

no one has ever looked at me the way you do.

 next I find your smile, soft and sweet

and it grows when I smile back at you.

somehow it becomes even more kissable then.

 the third thing I find is your cheek with my hands

so I can feel you beneath my fingertips and keep you close.

you’re only a breath away and you take my breath away.

 the last thing I find is your lips with mine

to feel the emotions you continuously show me.

we speak a language no one else understands.

 and then it repeats all over again and again

and I never get tired of the cycle of our love.

-a.k.m

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it’s the little things.

bringing home my favorite candy when you know i’ve had a long day or bringing me daisies on a wednesday because you were thinking of me or watching a sunset with your arms around me.  the little things create admiration and intimacy that keep the spark of love alive.

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didn’t realize i’d need this in my life until it came into my life

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I got lost in the ocean, the pools of blue in your eyes, time and time again. the sands of time full of memories that you don’t even think about. the waves of our ups and downs: some days you gave me that one smile, and others you poked at my insecurities. But the hope was enough to make me fall for you with my heart in the sky. that’s why I thought you felt the same way but you never did, or so you say.

a.k.m

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you are loved regardless.

Out of all the things I’ve received at pride parades, as a Christian, this one is my favorite.

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this is beautiful

Black women are so encouraging. This is simply magical!💖 #BlackGirlsMagic 

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Someone who doesn’t watch baseball please explain this picture

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today in chemistry, I was reminded that gold is nonreactive, one of the many qualities it is so valued.  It brought my attention to the phrase, “heart of gold,” and I decided to look it up.  “This expression alludes to gold in the sense of ’something valued for its goodness’” (dictionary.com).  But the thing is, a heart is reactive.  A heart reacts to feelings, emotions, everything.  A heart is more like silver, which tarnishes if not taken proper care of.  We cannot have a heart of gold, that looks beautiful always and is unmoved by the way things happen in life.  But we all have hearts of silver; some of them are tarnished with improper care, but can be repaired and shined back to the original beauty.  There will always be a scuff here or there, just like our hearts.  But it is still valuable and beautiful, and can be cleaned back to almost perfect condition.  You just have to properly take care of it.

a.k.m

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analysis of final Teen Titans episode: ‘Things Change’

I’ve been watching some clips from Teen Titans (the GOOD ONE) and like many other Teen Titans fans, am furiously obsessed with the last episode.  You know what that means?

Time for an analysis.

WARNING: SPOILERS

So let’s take a look at the gist of ‘Things Change.’  We all know it was made to surround the idea of Terra, or the possible Terra, in addition to concluding the show.  My main focus is on the Terra thoughts though, mostly because I shipped Beast Boy and Terra so much and loved how each character was made and gah

anyway.

The main question that everyone has is: Is the girl Terra?

My honest answer is yes. I believe it is Terra.  

Starting from the basic physicalities (not a word, but ya know), the statue is gone.  We all know about coincidences but come on.  What is the honest likelihood of it simply being a coincidence?  The only alternative reason I could figure for having the statue gone would be if Terra made an epic reappearance in a later episode—which isn’t likely considering they didn’t even want to create the last season that they did.  If they had no interest in continuing the series and placing a storyline like this, it most certainly should have been brought up in this last episode, which would mean that it must really be Terra.

Another physical aspect is her appearance.  A girl that looks and sounds exactly like Terra . . . I mean, if it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.  I can’t think of a possible alternative as to why the creators would place an identical stranger in the show unless perhaps it was to show that Beast Boy was being ‘haunted by the past’ which I can’t see as very likely if, once again, they had no intention on creating more.

In addition the that type of physical appearance, can we talk about the nonverbal communications? Look at her face every time she lets Beast Boy down, it’s full of regret and sorrow.  And the way she speaks to him:

“Stop calling me that.”  She immediately brushes her hair behind her ear and looks down.  She’s trying to not be who she used to be, but Beast Boy brings out the best in her.  She’s nervous.  

“Things were never the way you remember.”

“Things change, Beast Boy. The girl you want me to be is just a memory.”  WITH THE LOOK.  Look at her face, she’s heartbroken, not awkward.

If those two don’t guarantee her identity, I’m not sure what else will.  The tone she has in that and the way she said that would not be directed at a stranger who thought she was someone else.

“You’re the Teen Titan. That’s who you are.”  She wants him to keep changing the world and being who he is—the boy she could always rely on.  And she knows who he is.  No stranger would tell him that.

Also, when he asks if she remembers him, she says, “Should I?”  Not a simple negating statement like “no” or “I’ve never seen you” or “I’ve literally never met you in my life, who are you” or anything of the likeness. And then she agrees to go out for pizza with a ‘total stranger’?  I don’t buy it.  She misses him, which is why she asked questions like “Why would you still be friends with someone who caused so much trouble?”  But she also wanted to diminish his thinking that it was her. She told him that she was allergic to anchovies and kept asking why he was calling her “Terra” and denied enjoying camping.  But this method of psychology fails because Beast Boy truly brings out the best of her. She laughed at his jokes and found the jewelry box.

So the next question would be: Why?

Why create the last episode like this?  I think the idea of this episode, as much as it drives me crazy that there wasn’t something more solid, is well made.  The whole symbol of it was to say that ‘Things Change’—that while there are some good moments in your past, sometimes you have to completely change your life to find your happiness.  Even if that means leaving some of the pieces of your past behind.  It’s a beautiful lesson to give to the generation watching this because they were growing up.  The episode gave off a sorrowful but hopeful vibe, just like life does when we start going through big changes.  I also think that if the creators were truly ending the series as they had planned, this was a good way to do so: by wrapping up the main questions that we wanted and giving some satisfaction, as well as giving us some space for creative thinking.

Why doesn’t Terra remember anything?  She doesn’t ‘remember’ anything because what she really wants is to live a normal life with the second chance she was given.  She wants to keep the people she hurt safe from her capabilities.  She also wants to move on from the past that she had to create a future full of new experiences and new chances.

Why bring Terra back? Well, the main reason I think is simply to teach the lesson that the episode wanted to teach.  That life goes on and you can grow better by making difficult choices and accepting change.  I also think it was somewhat of an interesting subject to allow us to wonder about Terra and leave us hanging, enough so that if they wanted to make another series, we all know we’d be running with our money in our hands.  

 I’m sure there are more reasons and more analyses of what I said, so leave a comment or two and lemme know what you guys think!

 -a.k.m