akoaysi-cathy-blog

[akoaysi-cathy-blog]

[akoaysi-cathy-blog]

Turtle speed..

I’m slowly but surely catching up to everyone else. Got one draft of a lit review done and am starting to work on the other one. I’m still not very happy with the first draft of my opposing view lit review though. 

The problems I have with this is that I wrote the different parts of the review in a weird order because I wasn’t entirely sure if my views are actually aligning or not aligning with what the lit criticism author is saying. It’s a struggle because most of the stuff about the criticism I chose as my opposing view is also in the other two criticisms in the other two criticisms which I chose to be in my aligning views pile. 

So, I got really confused and just ignored the similarities between all of my lit crits and looked at the secondary things my crits were talking about. I then grouped my piles by how similar the secondary topics were. Then I thought “oh well this one lit crit has ideas that I feel aren’t super accurate” and decided that was the non-aligning crit.... Now I’m having second thoughts...

But first I jsut want to write the next one and then worry about revisions :)

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“Montgomery shot the thing. After that I stuck to the ideal of humanity—except for little things.“

Again, it’s all about control. Moreau couldn’t control the animal that got loose and he felt threatened. This Thing was also snake-like, not resembling a human at all but yet still able to overpower a man. If Moreau created a thing that was able to do these horrific things then Moreau is in trouble. One, because he can’t control it he can die by its hands. Being killed by his own creation isn’t ever considered a good thing to happen bc then his life’s work is thrown away bc the public will find out and create a social pressure to not research more into a dangerous topic. Two, he won’t be proving anything useful or insightful. If he gets killed by an animal, he then shows that animals are stronger than human beings. This isn’t entirely false when looking at physical aspects. Yes, animals are strong. But, it shows a human making a stupid mistake of not being able to control their beast all of a sudden makes humans lower than animals on a hierarchy of who’s smarter than the other. It’s like petting zoos. The animal can be captured. It can be the one tricked and controlled by the human. Then humans look and point at the animal in a tamed state that isn’t entirely natural. It gives us humans a sense of power.

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"Not to go on all-fours; that is the Law. Are we not Men? “Not to suck up Drink; that is the Law. Are we not Men? “Not to eat Fish or Flesh; that is the Law. Are we not Men?” “Not to claw the Bark of Trees; that is the Law. Are we not Men? “Not to chase other Men; that is the Law. Are we not Men?” The laws these things have created for themselves in this society is interesting. It's like they want to get rid of the animal side of them. This is really sad because that means they know and are considering themselves beasts and grotesque creations. This sorta reminds me of the body image unit from last year where there are expectations people have to meet in order to be considered acceptable or even more than acceptable in terms of how your body looks. There are boundaries that can be broken except in this little society of beast-men they can't think that way. A few of them have been exposed to how human beings look and not only that but how they themselves are supposed to look. Humans treated them with lots of disrespect because they looked different. So now, in order to not be disrespected they create these rules that deny a huge part of themselves in order to learn to fit in. In all honesty that seems very ineffective. Even if they try to change their mannerisms they can't change their physical appearance which is what is most important when making first impressions. People are still gonna consider them grotesque and beast-like because they don't look like the standard human.

[akoaysi-cathy-blog]

So, for some context, Prendick is being chased by Dr. Moreau, Montgomery, and a couple of beasts because he thinks that Dr. Moreau is going to take him and cut him up and combine his human body with an animal’s and become one of the Beast Folk. He comes to the edge of a beach, near the water, and comes up with two plans. One, he can confront Moreau and fight him. The other option is to drown himself in the ocean right there and leave the madness of this island forever.

My initial reaction to what he thinking about doing was “Why is this dude so full of himself?” Prendick seems like he wants to have power over the situation he’s in. He already tried to take control of his fate by running away. Then he’s also had a couple of thoughts about confronting Moreau and drowning himself, both of which are things that he can control his own actions. So, I guess ‘full of himself’ isn’t entirely the right phrase to describe him, he’s more wanting of control (*cough cough* like most men *cough cough*)

It’s interesting to see the parallels of this theme of who has power over who between this book and the Handmaid’s Tale. Both main characters are searching for who is in charge or controlling their life. In Handmaid’s Tale, though, Offred gives herself up to be owned by the men in her life and plays their game in order to have some fake sense of power over the men. She knew if she said anything bad at all she would get in trouble but she also knew of secrets and that is power in itself that she could leak at any moment and release havoc... I think. On the other hand there’s Prendick. He is someone who used to be in control of his life but then also had to succumb to the mercy of Montgomery since Montgomery technically did save his life. Yet, now he’s learning that Montgomery is all that nice of a person in the first place and is scared for his own well being. Instead of succumbing this time, Prendick decides to leave and take his fate into his own hands and not be at the mercy of someone else. So, seeing with the help of the two books, the contrast of the two genders reacting to almost identical situations differently says that men are hard headed and women are sneaky sneak when they don’t want to be controlled by someone else. 

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Ok. So there's this whole chunk in the book where the narrator, Prendick, is just describing the scene around him as going from colorful to colorless. This whole section after he encountered the Thing, a mutant of some animal and human, he talks about things losing their color. Since color usually means vibrance and happiness and darkness usually means bad feelings, I guess the change of color Prendik describes here can also show how young scientists always believe that science is the thing to go into because there are promising outcomes to research of different things. So young scientists have an optimistic view once they start out, sort of like Prendik. However, once they are exposed to what some research actually requires them to do science becomes a bit more… shady. Like, science requires people to make some inhumane choices that will probably hurt something else. In order to help a population they need to sacrifice another. Prendik is probably starting to realize the monstrosities that science can create. That entails not only the experiments themselves but also the people. For example Montgomery. Montgomery, with the little known about him so far, is a mysterious man who saves Prendik but also cuts open other animals to create new beings. Montgomery is not stupid. He realizes that what he does is inhuman but he keeps going for with Moreau’s experiments. Why? Idk…

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Ok... so I'm only through the first couple of chapters and it's a tad bit confusing. Only really because there's a lot of boat lingo that I don't understand so I can't properly picture it in my head. I don't think much has happened yet in the first 4 chapters... it's just really slow so far

[akoaysi-cathy-blog]

The Island of Dr. Moreau

I initially heard of this book from this one TV series that I watch. The series alluded to it a couple of times and I felt a little out of the loop so I put this book on my very short reading list. From what I learned from the interwebs, this book deals with ethics in science. Since I'm planning on going into a probably sketchy field where things may seem ethically wrong with the kind of research and work that is done (biomedical engineering), I thought this would be interesting to see what H.G Wells has to say about where the line should be drawn with biology and what not. I was honestly a little unsure if I should choose this book after Mr. K's reaction but I found criticisms on the book. Hopefully that's gonna be enough to make this project legit enough and give me an A 😁

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Maybe Matthew Rohrer??

So I went to Buzzfeed for help and they had a list. One person that seemed interesting was Matthew Rohrer. I read some of his poems and thought “these seem cool” so I might have him as a mentor poet :D

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On the news you see this story of how a scrub of an artist survived a crash of a private jet and also saved a kid from the wreck. At first he would seem like a hero, right? But then the question arises of why he was on a private jet in the first place. How did this scrub get onto a private jet? Why was he with a bunch of really well known rich people? Did he cause the crash of the plane?

These are the questions the main character, Scott, in Noah Hawley’s Before the Fall has to endure. Scott goes from living a peaceful life on an island to being the main story on all the big news networks. He doesn’t entirely remember all of the details of the crash because he claims to have hit his head but he still gets absolutely hounded by the press and desperately tries to escape them. All the meanwhile, throughout the book, Hawley sprinkles in the backstories of the other passengers on the private jet and they what they were doing before the crash to keep the reader guessing what happened on the crash. 

This suspenseful thriller keeps you on the edge of your seat. Admittedly, the book has a slower pace compared to other books. It needs to be that way, though, to have time for the book to add in the details that makes the book have all the pieces fall into place in the end. 

His book is great! You should read it :)

[akoaysi-cathy-blog]

I give myself permission to tell myself I am wrong.

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Alright this is a little late... but we’ll see if anyone responds to this.

Sooo. Stereotyping is bad. My stereotypes, however, are not entirely hurtful to my reputation. I’m Asian. There haven’t been many instances where Asians are seen as threatening. I’m indifferent about stereotypes because they can be super awful and disgusting to think about or they can be hilarious. 

They’re disgusting because they generalize a population without even getting to know an individual within it. It separates people and separation within a single society is rarely ever peaceful. 

However, it’s great to joke around with people of the same ethnicity as you. You found someone with something in common and it isn’t just skin color it’s also culture. There’s an almost instant connection. With that connection it’s easier to exaggerate and joke about the little habits you have that are instantly associated with your skin color. 

Then the conversation with Lila happened and she mentioned something and it added a little bit more depth into my thinking. She said, ”Well, it’s true so why would I be offended?” From there she talked about how people assume she likes Starbucks. And she does. She pretty much said that was all she got as far as stereotypes go and she is fine with it. 

At the end of that conversation I thought to myself “She’s lucky” but then questioned why I thought she was. She faced a stereotype that could be as offensive as ones given to me. But it goes back to the whole “It’s true so why would I be offended?” thing. It doesn’t seem like Lila cares at all and I wish I could live that care free about what people thought about me. I do get self conscious and annoyed when people get me wrong. I’m jealous that there gets to be white stereotypes and then the stereotypes that go along with European countries. So white people get a choice to be white or some sort of European whereas I don’t get that choice. I get to be Chinese or Japanese. 

Then I started thinking “How did they decipher me as Asian?” For all they know I could be of Hispanic descent. My last name is Javier and my skin is around the same color of a person who is Hispanic. My eyes don’t totally give away that I’m Asian because I don’t have the monolid eyes as the mainland Asians generally do. So what gave away that I was Asian? I don’t fit the Chinese, I mean Asian, stereotypes... I never told the guesser I was Asian they would generally just ask “Are you Chinese?” and I would say “Nope.”

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I know I, for one, don’t mind being a marked woman. In class, being marked has always been seen as bad, which I get. Being marked generally means someone has to try harder in order to get a point across. But, so far that term has only really been attached to fashion and how women have to try harder with their fashion than men. However, the term marked “refers to the way language alters the base meaning of a word by adding a linguistic particle that has no meaning on its own.” I thought that this could just mean women, who is the more marked gender of the two, have more special qualities and are just more willing to convey it out to people. 

Now for a counter someone could point out the who FOX newscaster thing where all the women newscasters are all blonde and pretty much the same woman. That, I think, is a rhetorical move FOX news chose to make. They know who their audience, which isn’t everyone, but instead old creepy conservative white men. They would not appreciate any person of color, male or female, to tell them the news or else it would just be seen, in their eyes, to be the minorities coming up and stealing all the job opportunities. When a white man tells the news it’s totally normal. But when a white blonde woman comes on the screen it’s, creepily, eye candy and what brings the audience back. 

Outside of the newscaster deal, though, I don’t mind being marked because of how I look. I think if I look good while doing a man’s job there should be no shame in that. I look good. It might sound a bit conceded but it takes a bit more skill to look decent and work hard at the same time. It makes it a bit more impressive. I would take pride in that. If men aren’t willing to find clothes and different styles that convey who they are and what their personality is then they can fit into the cookie cutter mold of what men should be and not be super special, fine by me.

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Before, like in eighth grade, I thought fitting in would be the best way for me to feel like myself because I would be a part of something and have some sort of home. However, it isn’t. I started caring less about how people would look at me and started to focus more on what I could do to stop hiding. This is one of the main reasons I pay a lot of my attention to my clothes because I feel it is one of the few ways I feel comfortable conveying myself to other people. Looking nice and having some sense of style while doing everything else that I do (help make robots, conduct band, be smart, etc.) allows me to prove to myself that I’m actually special and that looking the way I do and being the person I am is not a super bad thing. I can still look nice and get the job done, and be a part of a whole, and stay who I am.

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A woman can’t be more like a man. 

She already has the capabilities of every man and vice versa. The mistake society has made is to base the capabilities of a person of off the expectations that have already been set for the child before they were born. There is a misconception that every man is “manly” and every woman is “womanly.” 

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There are many masks that I have to fill.... They have become so much a part of my life that it’s been hard to find the line between who I am and then what my masks want me to be. 

Might as well start with school since that is practically my life right now. Mask number one looks pimply and has huge glasses. I have always been considered one of the smarter people of my grade, but that quality is based off of grades and points which, in reality, means nothing. Plus, I don’t think I really learn anything. What I actually do is short term learn skills that should be enough to pass the unit test and then throw it out of my brain forever. That is not what smart is. Smart is comprehending and learning and connecting topics together to be smart. All I do is look smart so I can be seen as a beacon of smarticleness to my peers and, ultimately, to colleges. I want to please them. 

Then, there is family. This mask looks distinctly Filipino, innocent, and small. I strive for their approval. In order to get that, I need to be smart, a ‘leader’, obedient, talented. The list goes on and on and I try to fulfill every single criteria for the perfect child. My already morphed face becomes even more morphed for this mask. They don’t want to see me as growing up, so I fit that personality and still act a bit naive... 

Lastly, there is the mask that has no opening for the mouth but at the same it looks cute and kind. This is the mask I wear when I’m in public in general. Wherever I go I just try to act happy and look like everything is gonna be okay. But actually, I’m pretty much dying on the inside but no one knows of it because I don’t speak of it. I won’t spoil my surroundings with more negative because there is already enough. However, my face is pressing right up against the other side of this mask because I just want to burst out and explode my everythings all over the place. 

But through all of my masks I could have taken every single one off. Thing is, I didn’t. I am afraid of who I can be/am. I don’t want people to see what I’m like and I don’t want to be rude/prejudiced/shoved in a corner to live life by myself. Like, fully by myself. No friends. Family would probably disgrace me. Not having any group I could belong in. I leave the masks on because that’s the thing people want to see and, honestly, it’s something I would rather stay behind. Keeping these masks on has given me places to belong and feel accepted and live an interesting life. 

[akoaysi-cathy-blog]

alright, so this is my revision....

It doesn’t look like much but what it will be is a photo collage of immigrants who came to America in hopes of a better future. There will be different categories of immigrants, i guess, in the different colors. White will be naturalized citizens. Red will most likely be people who haven’t been naturalized. Blue will be children of immigrants and how their lives are. The immigrants’ stories will be on the back of the sticky notes. The sticky notes will cover the pictures to show how no one really looks at who makes America.

There are still more decisions I have to make though. Like if I should include famous people in the collage or if I should keep it local so it becomes a bit more personal to my audience. Where I should put this poster collage thing. I was thinking about the wall right in front of the lunch room because it’s relatively big and is passed by practically everyone in school or if I should just keep it near Kreinbring’s room because my intended audience was supposed to be lang kids.... but then again that doesn’t mean it’s exclusively for them.... I’ll see. And there is also the question of whether or not I should incorporate native born Americans (aka most white people) in the picture collage bc America lets them do things they wouldn’t be able to do elsewhere... they just don’t know it. 

But yeah... At first I thought this idea wasn’t going to work out. I wasn’t feeling it. Then the people I talked to said it was good and that told me the audience liked it so I should just keep pursuing this.