alesiabl0gs

[alesiabl0gs]

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Just a very motivational bunny to cheer you on through the week! We can do it guys- we can make it through. >o<

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Sometimes I hate the name “Invisible illness”

Is it invisible when I cry from pain?

Is it invisible when I curl up in the fetal position because of pain?

Is it invisible when I’m at the doctor’s office for the 5th time in two weeks?

Is it invisible when I’m at the hospital?

Is it invisible…

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I'm on about minus a million spoons today. I've had such a productive week, I completely gutted and scrubbed my entire kitchen, stripped all my hallway wallpaper and went wallpaper shopping yesterday and was out walking about for a good 5 hours. I should've known I'd suffer. I mean really suffer. Today, the only way I can actually walk is hunched over and shuffling like Quasimodo. I'm taking it easy today and praying for a better day tomorrow. I'm going to a Motown night with my mum tomorrow. I never go out because I hate it but this is just at a little working men's club and I'm actually really looking forward to it. I hope my body doesn't hurt like it does today so I can wear my new heels that I bought especially to go with my new dress. It's not looking likely but a girl can hope 🙏

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Today- a huge ramble I posted to the wrong blog.

Today my pain levels are absolutely off the chart. I can barely walk. I have to hunch right over like Quasimodo and shuffle around slowly.

I had to leave Annie in her bedroom this morning, locked in (stair gate not like a bolt) while I crawled out my bedroom and took a quick hot bath to try ease...

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I'm just in so much pain I really don't even know what to do or how to handle it anymore. I'm so terrified I'll get addicted to all the prescription drugs I'm taking daily. I'm so fed up of not even knowing what is actually wrong with me.

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Getting some Spoonie Shopping done today. So getting some more comfortable clothes. 

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We left the house alone yesterday with the help of a walking stick that my Nanna gave me. We only walked over to the corner shop, then up to the bus stop to catch the bus over to my Mum's but it was still a big victory for me! I was in a lot more pain after but the stick definitely helped a little.

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who needs a social life when you have followers who don’t talk to you and you run a blog no one cares about

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This back pain is just on another level, I've never known pain like it. The pain killers aren't doing anything, either. My Nanna has given me an old metal walking stick so when I have the motivation to go get ready, I'm going to give it a go and walk over to the corner shop. Then if it feels ok and helps a bit, we'll get the bus over to my Mums. We're going there for tea but if I can manage to get the bus it'll save her from driving across town to pick us up because she'll bring us home later anyway.

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My skill set includes waiting until the very last possible minute, and also panicking about said procrastination.

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I ended up spending my afternoon in A&E.

So basically, the back pain was worse this morning but in my right side, like the right hand side of my back, my hip and up my side.

I went for a wee at like 7.30/8 when I woke up but didn’t feel like I’d really “finished” but I didn’t think anything of it.

Then it got to like, 9/9.30 and I needed a wee so I sat on the toilet for ages and nothing came out. I had a bath after and by this point I REALLY needed a wee. After I’d gotten all clean and stuff, right before I got out, I even tried to wee in the bath to see it that would work, it didn’t.

I was talking to my Mum and she told me I had to ring the Doctors so I did and they gave me an appointment. The doctor didn’t know what was wrong and sent me to A&E.

Basically- the Doctor in A&E had to check that there was nothing trapped against my spinal cord stopping me from using the toilet and he had to check my bowels by way of a finger up my bum (worst moment of my life) but all that was fine anyway.

Then he was trying to convince me to get a catheter but I refused so he told me to have a drink and just wait for a bit and try again (I was so so desperate at this point.) then they brought me some different medication and scanned my bladder which just confirmed it was absolutely full.

So I just waited and waited and kept drinking and I felt like my bladder was going to burst. I tried to wee again but couldn’t.

Then eventually, 9 hours after I first tried to wee, I managed it. It was the most wonderful, glorious pee of my entire life. I collected a sample too.

The Doctor told me that the Tramadol is probably the reason for my “infection” so luckily it was nothing serious. Then after they’d tested my sample they said I have a water infection too which could also add to why I couldn’t wee along with the back pain I’m in when I actually sit down on the toilet.

So I’ve been sent away with antibiotics for the water retention, some Diclofenac and some Diazepam. Fingers crossed these actually make a difference.

He’s ordered me an MRI scan for my back and I should get that within the next couple of weeks and he said my pain should get better and I should be able to walk properly within the next few days.

Never a dull moment huh.

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I did a thing. I'm feeling quite accomplished! It's been weeks since I actually did my hair and makeup. I even managed a little French braid in my fringe 😊 I'm exhausted after all the effort of having a bath and getting ready so I'm laid back in bed now. Annie took herself off to lay in her "Toy Story bed" to watch Toy Story 3 and I don't have the spoons to go downstairs to have to come back up and get her so I'm having a well deserved rest. Doctors soon. Fingers crossed for some help 🙏 I figured if I have to talk about my bowel movements with my favourite, cute doctor and let him examine my gross body, at least I can make my face look pretty 😁

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Drs appointment

I had to make an appointment today. The pain has gotten worse and it's in my right side as well as my back and I can't go to the toilet 🙈 (TMI sorry!) So I've got an appointment for this afternoon- it's the first time I've rang up later than 8am and have actually got an appointment first try with no excuses from receptionists and no kicking off from me, it's nothing short of a miracle! The only problem is- it's the really cute doctor 🙈🙈 he's lovely and the best doctor I've seen but he'll have to examine my back and side and see all my disgusting flab, not to mention the fact I'll have to talk about my bowel movements with him 😩 My mum made me ring up because she said it could be either my medication or possibly my Kidneys. I just hope I'm ok 😓