alexmatthewsrpg-blog-blog

[alexmatthewsrpg-blog-blog]

Self Para // Homesick

"Why did I agree to this? Everything was great. I was perfectly okay, my family was okay, my fucking love life was okay."

The thoughts clouded Alex mind as he put his mouth against the cold glass taking the first hit. When Alex was sober, guilt was the only thing he thought about. He looked scary from running around with Lena, his muscles were weakening, his eyes were glassy and he had black eye from one fight that Lena had caused. All he wanted was to be in Tyler's arms. Which probably was holding someone else, he knew Tyler wouldn't speak to him every again, and maybe that's why he went with Lena for so long but enough was enough. Alex needed to face Tyler, Kat, and anyone else that missed him.

Alex thought about how Lena will react to him taking her home, she wouldn't like it. Maybe he could use Kat, they weren't close but maybe if he offered someone to her, she would take it. Alex couldn't wait to see his sister face. She will be furious along everyone else, but he needed to see her. He could get sober again and focus on his dance or Lacrosse. He hated Lacrosse and now he thought about playing again, it's crazy how time spent alone changed his mind. 

Lena was smoking in the other room when he stopped smoking, he stumbled outside a saw a few kids on a trip. He wanted it so bad, just to sit and relax because he wanted to be high or jump. Sometimes he thought about death, what it would be like. Would it be quiet? Would it be nice? Would people like him? Could he be accepted. Since he wasn't religious would he even go somewhere. He sat on a plastic chair and ran a hand through his greasy hair. He was tired and decided to sleep it off on the couch. He left the kids from outside and went back inside looking at the dorm, people everywhere, beer cans flying, smoke in the air and the couch. A couple was heavily making out on it but they soon went to the bedroom to finish it up and Alex was quick to jump on it and lay down closing his eyes momentarily until he felt her lay next to him, the two of them fit on the couch and he kept her arm around her. They had a friends with benefits thing, they needed sex they got sex. They wanted to talk they talked. Alex cared for Lena but in a friend way he enjoyed the sex but it wasn't the same as it was with Tyler because with Lena it was just sex. Which he didn't mind. They slept for a few hours until the party was over and he picked her up in his arms, she was really light. He noticed her cheeks but Alex was still to high to realize what was going on.

He drove for a few hours heading back up to the coast, when she woke up, he would tell her the plan because their was a party at MIU and he did want to pick up some things at his dorm, so once she woke up, he told her the plan and they started driving back to PCA.

It felt nice to know he was heading back home but it also scared him to fucking pieces.

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"Jesus Lena." He rolled his eyes. "You need help. I think enough is enough, we've been gone for a long time. It's time to go back to reality. I'm going to PCA and I will drag you if I have too. I don't want McDonald's, I want shitty cafeteria food, with my friends. You are my friend Lena, I did your favor now its time to come home." He moved his feet from the dashboard, he stared at Lena. "Your coming back whether you want too or not."

gods & monster || Alex + Lena

[alexmatthewsrpg-blog-blog]

Alex had his feet on the dashboard as he stared out the widow, his hair was getting longer, and he wore more hoodies then anything. He smoked too much weed to forget leaving Ty and Kat. He wanted Ty's touch. He needed Kat to slap him and curse him out. He wanted to go home. His parents hadn't call so Kat was covering for him. He wanted to dance, he had no time other then drinking and sex with Lena. Lena was a great girl, she was fun but it was time for them to go home. Whatever was getting to Lena needed to be face so he came up with this idea. 

"How about you come with me, we need to shower and really eat something." He took her hand and kissed it. "It will be fast 20 minutes at most." He asked her, he squeezed her hand lightly. "Maybe say hi to Kat and fool around in my dorm." He was trying his hardest to get her to get in the gates because once he got her in, he would have control, out her he did not have control over her. She was a different girl, a girl who had nothing to lose and it scared him.

gods & monster || Alex + Lena

They had made their way up the coast of California and now Alex had some how managed to talk her into driving back down to Malibu. Promises of just going to a few more parties in the Malibu area and getting a few things from his dorm and he promised that they would leave again. Lena didn’t believe him. Alex was getting weak. He missed everyone. He wanted to go home. That was the difference between her and Alex. He wanted to go home, she couldn’t go home. She couldn’t face Declan. His name alone made her heart skip a beat. “Baby B…I’m gonna drive down to the MU party. You can drop me off and stop by after you picked up your stuff and maybe we could drive to Vegas this time?”

Her eyes still on the road, but she caught her reflection in the tiny rearview mirror. Her cheeks were hollow. She couldn’t remember the last time she had eaten real food. Lately she lived off of weed, a little bit if E and lots of Jose Cuervo. Food wasn’t neccesary. Food made her sick. Food reminded her of home…of Declan. No, it was easier to just not eat. It’s not like Alex ever noticed. He was just as high and just as drunk as she was.

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What do you want me to do, I'll do whatever.

  I can’t force you to do anything…but you’d really be helping me out, Alex. 

[alexmatthewsrpg-blog-blog]

Cover? How... Lena I don't know about this.

A getaway trip? I just wanted to get a little head-start on winter break. [Lena tried to sound as nonchalant as possible. She wasn’t about to let it be known that she was running away, much less let it be known that she was running away because of a boy. Walking into his dorm, she stood in the middle not really wanting to take a seat.] I just need you to cover for me until winter break actually starts…

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[He frowned, confused by her statement.] What kind of Trip? [He pulled on his shirt] Why what has happened? [He knew he shouldn't of let her in because this wasn't going to be good and he knew it but Lena was a close friend, a friend he could trust, maybe. But clearly she needed him.]

[Lena took a moment before answering him. She wasn’t quite sure on how she should phrase her words. She pulled on the hem of her t-shirt and chewed on her bottom lip until she finally had the courage to speak.] I — uh — I’m going on a little trip…

[alexmatthewsrpg-blog-blog]

Road // Self Para

You never realized how peaceful the road was at night with no cars, a girl passed out next to you and a beer in your hand until you actually do it.

We had just left another party, Lena was high off her ass. She couldn't even get in the car without passing out.

"If I don't make it, I'll give you road head." She had bet him, and she lost. She will remember it too. He flew down the interstate it was 3:13 am. He checked his phone he left in his bag that Lena always scolded him for.

"14 miss calls Kitty-Kat, 20 new voicemails, 70 texts, and a Facebook message." 

"Jesus Christ Kat." He whispered, as he put his phone back and a song came on. 

"What's Left by 3 Doors Down." He pulled over and got out, they were in Nevada, he leaned against the hood of his car staring at the desert that goes on for miles. He thought about him, he couldn't even say his name without breaking down. He just closed his eyes thinking about the way he would hold him, and the smile with wrinkles. Alex didn't notice he was holding his breath and when he finally took a breath, he felt the pain and the tears came. He wiped his eyes and tried to remember Ty's face when he left, hurt and denial. He was brought back to reality when he felt his pants being tugged at. Alex noticed Lena on her knees. 

"You suck baby b." She said before pulling down his pants.

Alex closed his eyes.

[alexmatthewsrpg-blog-blog]

Alex has runaway with Lena.

Sex drugs and rock n roll~

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What happened?

No, Alex…I’m not

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You know you love me.

Be like what? I’m only being honest.

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Oh come on don't act like that.

My current emotion is: you all suck. Please don’t expect this to change, as I can assure you that it won’t.

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You ok?

"…yeah, I’m fine. Thanks for pretending to care, you can leave now."

[alexmatthewsrpg-blog-blog]

(Alex was sitting on his bed, shirtless as usual. He heard the knock and swiftly got out of bed, he didn't think anyone was suppose to be over since Ben was 'away' aka Declan, which hurt because Ben and him would always have a thing that's not a thing but he hated him with Declan, as he was sure Ben hated him with Tyler. So when he opened the door and saw Lena he frowned, he hadn't spoken to her in a while and she just shows up on his door? He frowned leaning against the door frame, his muscles flexed he raised an eyebrow] Yes Lena?

[Lena’s room was dark. Honey was nowhere to be found and Lena was fed up. She was fed up with almost everyone and everything that had gone down at PCA. It was hard enough for her to have to deal with seeing Nate around campus, now she had to deal with seeing Declan around. Lena just wanted to be able to get way, she had enjoyed her Thanksgiving break so much. Being away made it easy to forget all of the things she was going through. Coming back and telling Declan about Drew though had proven to be too muc for her and Lena was ready for another escape. She packed her bags in the dark and grabbed her brother’s car keys from her now empty night stand. She did’t see a need in having to stay at PCA anymore than she needed too. Classes were almost over by then anyway. She just needed someone to cover for her and she hoped that Alex was that person. She walked silently and quickly towards Alex’s dorm room. Hoping with all her might to not run into Ben or Declan or worse Ben and Declan together. When she finally reached his door she took a moment before finally knocking.] Alex, I need a favour…

[alexmatthewsrpg-blog-blog]

Lena needs me... She asked me to leave school...

What are you doing? ….Alex, what the fuck are you doing?

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ON THE TUMBLR APP YOU CAN REBLOG AND ERASE OLD TEXT BY A SIMPLE "X"

UPDATE IT.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

[alexmatthewsrpg-blog-blog]

"What did I just walk in on?"