alexo-lotl

[alexo-lotl]

dr who is so crazy imagine your species goes extinct except for two theater kids who call themselves The Orthodontist and the Administrator and they just go around causing problems and destroying your entire culture's reputation

[alexo-lotl]

Genre-savvy horror protagonist figures out they're in a slasher movie, simply turns around and leaves; realises too late that they're actually in an artsy character-driven psychological horror film about them slowly being driven mad by existential uncertainty over whether they've successfully escaped the narrative.

[alexo-lotl]

$20 used to mean something

[alexo-lotl]

Thinking about when I worked at a shitty restaurant + one night it was just me + 3 other women on closing shift, so some guy came in the back and waved a knife around, presumably for money but I’m not actually certain, bc he was met with the bartender holding a much bigger knife, a tiny teenager wielding a cast iron pan, an elderly woman holding up a crockpot of clearly boiling water, and me, turning on the meat slicer with eye contact for maximum effect. He left, but the moral of the story is not girl power or whatever, it’s just. Why the fuck would you threaten a room full of underpaid and sleep-deprived blue-collar workers surrounded by lethal weapons.

[alexo-lotl]

so i wore a pride flag pin to work the other day and the kids were all interested (obviously) (find me a classroom of preschoolers who are not obsessed with rainbows) (i'll wait) so they crowded around to see.

"aww!" they said, "it's a flag!!"

but the thing is: they're little. a lot of them don't really have a handle on all their mouth sounds yet.

such as, notably, that tricky tricky "L" sound.

[alexo-lotl]

Am I the only one who notices that new pickup trucks are afflicted with like furry porn levels of cartoon masculinity in their angles and faces

[alexo-lotl]

Couples shirt idea

[alexo-lotl]

@adelinejclose

[alexo-lotl]

they should make nervous systems that are less nervous

[alexo-lotl]

this meme has really taken off in my house

[alexo-lotl]

[alexo-lotl]

Guy on metro had a shitty little dog who spent 20 minutes untying his laces and waiting patiently with his nose 3 millimeters away for them to be re-tied before wreaking havoc again. Over and over. Owner did not care. Dogs name was Quentin.

[alexo-lotl]

please stop writing "viscous" when you mean "vicious", it produces the weirdest mental images ever

[alexo-lotl]

[alexo-lotl]

sometimes i feel ive got to

[alexo-lotl]

[alexo-lotl]

conversation i had with a friend recently