alhanabraga

[alhanabraga]

Thanks to nordmagie's Ultimate Trust or... that time Wu Xie got locked inside a box... (our Pandora got locked in a box, pffft 🤭 It's just.... The irony. But The fic is so whumpy, I 💕 it so much) and mwingzeri's the future is poisoned (the only dual Foye universe) now I can't get over the aesthetic of a hurt Wu Xie surrounded by comforting fluffy stuffs 😊☺️

Also, I found that for a sole heir of such an influential clan of the Mystic Nine's calibre, 🧐 Wu Xie hadn't been spoiled enough by his own blood family 🤔 No thank you, San Shu! 😤 Or Xie Lianhuan; whoever in charge of the charade at any point! So now I can only root for the hardass but protective Er Shu to step in and compensate in his own scheming way, like.... Say, he had to issue a house arrest for his nephew until all of the potential backlash from whatever crazy stints said Wu Xiao Fo Ye had pulled during Sha-Hai died down 🙂. Meanwhile Wu Xie, the unapologetic bastard that he is, casually took it as a vacation since he also just then realised that his body truly needed the rest (a.k.a. the looming prelude of Reboot) 🙃.

Just imagine Wu Xie.... in a warm solarium.... wearing light clothes.... curling on the floor, napping.... surrounded haphazardly by soft pillows and blankets.... and two humongous pitbulls nesting on both of his sides to stand guard and keep him company....

UGH 😖

I'm going to yeet myself, adios~

[alhanabraga]

How to Defuse Your Xiao Sanye : 😐

[alhanabraga]

Lost Tomb? 🤔

More like LOST in a TOMB! 😏

AGAIN?! 😑

[alhanabraga]

Either way, Schrödinger's curiosity kills the cat.

[alhanabraga]

Wu Xie : *encounters a coffin*

Me : NO, PANDORA! DON'T OPEN IT!

[alhanabraga]

If the recent round of emotional torture continues, then there is no need to wait for The Finale's adaptation and just call the current instalment 'Angsty Lost Tomb' 🥺

And FYI, here are my personal nicknames for DMBJ's live-action adaptations:

The Lost Tomb : Trashy Lost Tomb (sorry Yang Yang, but I'm not sorry 😶)

The Lost Tomb 2 : Goofy Lost Tomb 🥴

The Mystic Nine : Ye Olde Lost Tomb 🧐

Time Riders : Bitsized Lost Tomb 🤫🤭

Tomb of the Sea : Badass Lost Tomb 😍

Reboot : Fluffy Lost Tomb 🥰

[alhanabraga]

THEY'RE JUST 😳

NONCHALANTLY 😵

GOING NUCLEAR 🤯

[alhanabraga]

blame shifu damnit

Watch ULTIMATE NOTE, they said....

Ere, it's AWESOME, they said....

[alhanabraga]

"Mine. Not yours."

THEY'RE JUST 😳

NONCHALANTLY 😵

GOING NUCLEAR 🤯

[alhanabraga]

ok can we agree that the WORST feeling is when you’re just sitting around consciously procrastinating and you’re just overly aware that each second that passes is more time wasted and you like watch hours pass and you’re STILL procrastinating and you CANT STOP and your panicked brain is trapped inside a body that refuses to be productive and inside you’re screaming but outwardly you’re just eating chips 

[alhanabraga]

Ugh. "No Beta We Die Like Kim Dokja" is not here? Please inform Kim Dokja's Company to let their President die more often!

How do I explain to people the pure hilarity that is "no beta we die like [fandom refrence]" and the pure joy I get out of it

[alhanabraga]

-

The Shitty Horoscopes anthology is now funding on Kickstarter!

shitty horoscopes book iii: petty existential crises

buy the zines | read them all | instagram | redbubble

[alhanabraga]

fan fiction is SO addicting to people with ADHD because our brains aren't innatentive, they're just constantly searching out sources of dopamine because we don't produce enough on our own. fan fiction supplies us with an endless archive of free stories - long and short - containing characters we already love and we can just devour story after story after story one after another and it feels SO GOOD.

[alhanabraga]

The Fundamental of PingXie Dynamics #2

[alhanabraga]

I call this Cale Henituse-esque drama 😂

Mandalorians: He is the Mand’alor

Din: No you don’t understand. I never set out to be Mand’alor. I only wanted to save my child from Moff Gideon.

Mandalorians: He took on one of most dangerous Imperials in single combat to protect his family! Praise the Mand’alor!

Din: Wait, let me explain. The child was a foundling under my care...

Mandalorians: He treats the foundling as his own flesh and blood! All praise!

Din: No! listen! He was threatening my Child with the darksaber, so I took out my pure beskar spear...

Mandalorians: *shaking* This is the most mandalorian thing we’ve ever fucking heard...

[alhanabraga]

So~

There are a lot (only a couple but compared to the usual none, they are a lot!) of DMBJ fics with worried Xiaoge lately and they made me imagine something that isn't there!

Like, a scenario where Wu Xie got kidnapped by whoever wanted to get their hands on the Zhang freaking Qiling by 'I hold your sweetheart hostage, so you'd better join us and do whatever we tell you to' style.

Aware of how notoriously cunning their leverage is, they had no choice but drugged the Xiao Sanye out of his mind to keep him docile and their own brains safe from his wiles.

Thanks to some unspecified technical difficulties and plot holes, the rescue mission was running slow.

Around three months or half a year later, the gang spearheaded by Xiaoge in all of his Guardian Angel of Death glory barged into the bad guy's den and went apeshit once they found Wu Xie shaking and shivering in a bare room they chained him, totally out of it, and already on the verge of dependency by how careless the kidnappers were with pumping his system full of the stuffs....

Gotta yeet myself, adios~

[alhanabraga]

But some criticisms deserve such respond because not all critics are saints.

“that’s sounds like a you problem” is literally one of the funniest ways to respond to criticism