all-things-john-constantine

[all-things-john-constantine]

with tom king it’s like yes the racism and horrible writing is a truly upsetting thing but more than that i wish people could also just get to the real point which is that he’s ex-cia. like you’re literally giving a platform to a man who would proudly post pics of himself in afghanistan with his guns, that’s who you’re supporting bc you’re more obsessed with the comic characters he’s writing about than the fact that he has a dangerous platform even as someone who’s not an agent anymore but nonetheless holds skewed political views bc of his personal position in relation to american imperialism 

[all-things-john-constantine]

it's kind of funny but mostly annoying when i'm like "yeah no i hate [comic writer] because they're a bad person and it shows in some of their stories" and there'll be one dickhead like "just because you don't like their stories doesn't mean they're a bad person" and the story in question is blatantly racist to brown specifically middle eastern characters and oh right HE HELPED PLAN THE 2003 INVASION OF IRAQ. TOM KING.

[all-things-john-constantine]

If you’re trying to avoid NMT3 spoilers I discuss what we know from the readings and synopsis and a couple things that have been said about the lore.

Thinking about NMT3 (Miss Holloween and Orbweaver)(THAT’S WITHOUT DISCUSSING TOM AND BECKY AND THEY’RE HAVING A BABY! I JUST KNOW ZOMBIE STANLEY IS GOING TO TRY TO RUIN THEIR HAPPINESS! TIM AND GRACE!!?!?! RICHIE AND RUTH!! DISASTER NERDS GETTING THEMSELVES IN MORE SHIT! BILL AND CHARLOTTE!! CHARLOTTE MIGHT FIND LOVE!!!) and the Miss Holloway Musical. Specifically I think about how Duke is totally dying in Miss Holloween. There is just no way they’re going to give us a happy ending (Kim and Curt please have mercy on me with your acting the reading was painful enough i know the actual thing will gut me). I also think about how we’re also getting Macnamara back. It brings up all the questions and thoughts for me.

1. What was John’s reaction when he saw Wilbur for the first time after the portal was opened? What about when he realized Wilbur’s mind was gone and it wasn’t coming back? Did he try to bring Wilbur back? What made him finally give up trying?

2. Who is John’s husband? It could be Xander, but I’m leaning towards it being someone else. I just feel like the “i know what I have to do” “no don’t go in there John!” moment would have been bigger if it was, but it was mid Wilbur monologue so maybe it would’ve been too clunky to do more. We don’t tend to get super huge reactions to deaths in Hatchetfield shows so maybe that’s just irrelevant.

3. How old is Miss Holloway? She’s depicted in the black book. Does that make her as old as it’s author Willabella? I’m leaning no. TURNS OUT MEG LLOYD TALKED ABOUT IT BEING FOR ORIGINAL WORKING BOYS SCRIPT!! IT’S BECKY!!! BADASS WARRIOR OF LIGHT!!! We could have a moment where it just works out and it’s applicable anyways, but I think we can put that on the back burner and just consider it a depiction of her making the deal. I think if she was enjoying herself as a rockstar in the 1980s she might have just been getting used to her immortality at the time which could make her birth year anywhere from 1900 to 1950. Something about that doesn’t seem right either though. I just can’t get a read on her as far as her age is concerned.

4. How did Douglas Keane Sr end up in Wilbur’s crosshairs? Were he and Miss Holloway friends? He was probably investigating something Wilbur did as sheriff and got in over his head. I feel like whatever it was leads to the initial Holloway vs Cross death match in the starlight theater.

5. What happened to Casey and the three girls Miss Holloway couldn’t save? Is Casey one of the three girls? What the hell happened beyond the obvious hatchet men ritual involving murder and burying people alive to grow as trees in the witchwood forest?

6. Why did Ethan recite the magical hat speech Miss Holloway gives to kids to Hannah in Black Friday? Where did he learn it? He totally had a touch of the gift and needed Miss Holloway’s help at some point in his life didn’t he? I also love the idea of all of the people being targeted by the Lords in Black like Paul and Ted having a touch of the gift even though there is no canonical support for that.

Alright I think that’s all I’ve got for now. Feel free to share your thoughts. I’m clueless and usually not great at predictions.

[all-things-john-constantine]

CC Review

Nonspoiler Portion

Cinderella's Castle was so fun! joey was right, the women really did an incredible job. don't get me wrong so did all of the men, but damn the women really knocked it out of the park.

Spoilers Below!

Holy crap!!! Bryce!!! Kim! Angela and Lauren and Mariah! The costumes! Ella's dresses! Bryce’s voice! Her emotion during the conversation with Lucy and Justine. Lauren and Mariah got me to love Lucy and Justine so quick! I knew what was coming when they believed her. The troll puppets! The troll daughter wigs! The trolls! They were so delightfully awful.

The Prince and Tadius are hilarious, great work from James and Curt. Holy crap the Prince is so horny! I actually kind of wanted him and Rancilda to be happy for a second there. Tadius's exasperation got me every time. I can’t believe he killed the King lol. Sir Hop a Lot and Crumb were also hilarious, but even more cute. I loved them too. Jeff as the narrator balanced seriousness, dramatic flair, and levity really well. His little hops into the center of the spotlight and bickering with Ragweed amused me.

Alright! Now for the music and story! Such a fun take on Cinderella, makes it both funnier and darker than the versions you’ve probably heard before. I was shocked when the Troll killed her and took her feet! I stopped knowing where things were going then. I thought we might get an unhappy end, but I’m happy with the one we did get. I liked Crumb getting knighted, and Sir Hop a Lot being titled. I just kind of thought aw man his devotion to her was cute, but I should have expected it considering there were two knights. The music was poppy and bouncy. It’s in line with most StarKid shows, it has what you expect based on the hatchetverse, Trail to Oregon, and Twisted but like amped up and mashed up. I’m not sure what to compare the music too.

[all-things-john-constantine]

#HaramHalalRatio

[Image ID: four rectangular gifs from Ms. Marvel episode 6, “No Normal.”:

GIF 1: Sheikh Abdullah looking at the hats he pulled off the rack, before stretching to place them on Bruno and Kamran’s heads. He leans back to survey them.

GIF 2: Bruno and Kamran exchanging a look before looking back at the Sheikh in disbelief. Bruno’s hat says “Haram” and Kamran’s says “Halal.”

GIF 3: Kamala standing in the alley in her Ms. Marvel costume, looking confusedly at Bruno and Kamran. The text reads, “What are you guys wearing?”

GIF 4: Kamran and Bruno leaning into each other, surveying Kamala’s new look with a thinly-veiled scoff as they toss the question back at her. The text is the dialogue they say in unison, and reads, “What are YOU wearing?”

/end ID]

bonus:

[BONUS: Bruno and Kamran slipping their hats off their heads, casting them off to the side. Bruno keeps his eyes on Kamala, watching her. Kamran watches Kamala with less focus but keeps his hands crossed over himself as he takes the hat off, staring at where it lands before looking back at her.]

[all-things-john-constantine]

“I’ll tell you what, I’ll be here in 100 years’ time. If you’re here then too, it’ll be because we’re friends.” -THE SANDMAN (2022-) // “We are an angel and a demon. We have nothing whatsoever in common.” -GOOD OMENS (2019-)

[all-things-john-constantine]

It's them <3

[all-things-john-constantine]

Netflix’s The Sandman by Dan Schkade

“I hadn't followed the production of the show at all and had no idea who was playing Death, so when she showed up I was like OH okay so they hired literally the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, dynamite!”

[all-things-john-constantine]

— We are, each of us, born with responsibilities. Even I am not free to choose to be other than I am. Nor is anyone. —  If that were true, why did all the other Dreams and Nightmares choose to leave this place when you had gone away?

THE SANDMAN (2022—) Developed by Neil Gaiman, David S. Goyer, Allan Heinberg

[all-things-john-constantine]

Episode 4 of EXU Calamity Spoilers

To The Ring of Brass, and their devotion to the people of Avalir. They saved lives at great personal cost.

To hope, we will meet again.

Rest in Peace Nydas, Patia, Laerynn, and Loquatious.

May Laerryn and Loquatius be together in whatever afterlife awaits them.

May Cerrit live a happy long life with the family he was reunited with.

May Zerxus be freed and reunited with his son and husband soon.

The world won’t remember them beyond the mace Zerxus weilded at the very end, but we will. 

Their family will, both the one remaining member of The Ring of Brass and otherwise.

[all-things-john-constantine]

Exandria Unlimited Calamity Episode 3 Spoilers

I still can’t believe that they said the two options were keep the city in the air or let the city land. Go to another plane or pay the tithe.

“Oh we have time to come up with a third option it’s fine”

And the thing that ended up happening was the destruction of the tree that kept their plane safe from extraplanar forces and letting the Lord of the Hells Asmodeus and Vespin through.

[all-things-john-constantine]

This damn episode, episode 3 of EXU calamity spoilers. I’ll be editing as the episode progresses

Everyone is doing cool things, it’s a battle, reverse gravity, dragon, all that. Zerxus stole laerryn’s thunder by saving loquatius which is objectively hilarious. 

Having said all of that, LUIS “OH NO I MADE THE WRONG CHOICES” IS JUST A LITTLE BIT OF AN UNDERSTATEMENT THE BLOOD OF THE CHOSEN? THE FAVORITE? HE’S STARTING TO UNDERSTAND INFERNAL?

ooo haste on zerxus, I know brennan hates that after that 100 damage turn haha

Damn she wanted his blood and she got it

Oh my god Brennan that’s a hell of a way to make your players feel powerful

SHE IS GOING TO SHORT THE TITHE????

Okay fuck.

I just completely stopped being able to process anything that was going on the second Patia revealed that she and Zerxus had tried to resurrect Evandrin.

Holy shit.

So I was right about Patia, but I did not have any idea that this would be what happened. Patia and Zerxus resurrected Evandrin, successfully, but his soul was caught on the tree when it was brought back from the celestial realm. I underestimated Zerxus. He was willing to let his husband stay lost to protect the tree. Vespin Chloras and Asmodeus are here. Laerryn destroyed the tree with blight which let them through after Patia looked through it, Zerxus looked at it, and Loquatious got sucked into it’s aura when he tried to pull Patia away. Fuck. This is where we find out just how badly Zerxus has fucked up. It seems like he fucked up pretty bad so far. Gods help them all because they need it. I’m going to have to rewatch this one like three times Jesus Christ.

[all-things-john-constantine]

Last minute thoughts before tomorrow’s episode of Exandria Unlimited Calamity. Spoilers for the first two episodes naturally

So all the characters have secrets. Laerryn’s is her whole planar travel plan and Evandrin’s death. Nydas, Patia, and Loquatious are all in on it one way or another. Do they have other secrets we still don’t know yet? Cerrit’s is still unknown to us. I think it probably involves the intelligent scientist wife that got mentioned early in episode 2. 

The more I think about it the more I think something is up with Patia. We know she was in on Laerynn’s plan. We know she used to know the Matron of Ravens. She was almost egging Laerryn on when they found the dead end papers on Magister Cormorant’s desk. She said they’re more tenacious than the Magisters. That came off weirdly to me. It’s the sort of hubris that will lead them right into the Calamity which makes sense, but I feel like there’s something more to the way Patia and Laerryn came together on this plan. Aabria described that Laerryn feels guilty and she isn’t sure how responsible she is for what happened to Evandrin. If she fixed whatever caused what happened to Evandrin, would that not necessarily mean she understood what made it happen? It seems like she doesn’t fully understand what happened/the tree of names/the arboreal calix. It didn’t go wrong when the toy went through, but the energy siphoning is concerning. She doesn’t seem to even be considering that maybe it won’t scale up properly. What would she do if the entire city and everyone in it started fading the way Evandrin did? We still don’t know what triggered the tree to start taking Evandrin. Was it the trio of Loras, Chloras, and Hollow? Was it Magistar Cormorant? Aabria also is being suspicious in the comment section of a tiktok about Laerryn becoming Planerider Ryn. Aabria! I’m shaking my fist at you! 

Speaking of Evandrin, people have mentioned maybe Evandrin was transported to another plane rather than died outright. The fact that his body was never recovered and the process of fading he endured makes that plausible. If that’s the case what does that mean for him? Depending on where he ended up he might have made a deal with a being out of desperation. If he was already a paladin it wouldn’t necessarily have been a massive change for him. Is he out there as the paladin(less likely cleric) of one of the Prime Dieties or some sort of fae patron? If Laerryn was observing everything the way she was when she sent the toy through would she not have seen Evandrin appear in another plane?

While the subject of fae patrons is being discussed, who the hell is Loquatius’ patron? He’s a warlock, but we have no idea about the deal he made. We have no idea what he offered or what he received in exchange. Is it a traditional pact with a fae patron? Is it a deal he made to protect Laerryn? It is unlikely, but did he do something to keep her from fading the way Evandrin did?

ugh, I can’t wait for tomorrow.

[all-things-john-constantine]

New Fic: The Paladin Forgotten(Critical Role)

(Note: This as written as a reaction to the second episode of Exandria Unlimited: Calamity, and is half spoilers, half speculation)

For first minute or so after he closed his eyes on his grieving family and sunk away-or it might have been much longer than that-Percy honestly wasn’t able to comprehend much.  He would never even know where in the multiverse he first was.  There was Orthax there, and he had come for him-he certainly grasped that much.

Keep reading

[all-things-john-constantine]

Spoilers for episodes one and two of EXU Calamity, not a theory or prediction more of a question

I read that fic and it got me thinking about Evandrin. He’s was likely a paladin  (it’s possible he was a cleric, but it’s less likely) since he was First Knight of Avalir. He’s holding an amulet in the dream Zerxus had. It seems unlikely he was devoted to a god considering the attitudes of the people around him including his own husband (unless Zerxus only abandoned religion after Evandrin’s death, but that doesn’t seem to be the case), but the amulet implies religious significance to me. What is going on with that? It’s a different necklace than the one Evandrin gifted Laerryn that she took out. If you guys have any ideas please tell me, I’m baffled and deeply curious. The only thing I could think of was how awful it would be if Evandrin was a worshipper of Sarenrae and Zerxus devoted himself to Asmodeus as he is about to betray her and massacre her followers if the recorded history is accurate.

[all-things-john-constantine]

Episode 2 of Exandria Unlimited Calamity Spoilers

Okay so now that I’ve had some time to process let’s get into it

I was right, the ring of silver is rotten to the core.  Evandrin was caught in Laerryn’s experimental crossfire and died. Loquatius found out one way or another and has been covering for her since. It might have been one of the reasons for their divorce. I’m making the assumption that Nydas and Patia knew due to the fact that they are in on Laerryn’s plan. I don’t know if Nydas knew when his family took in Elias, but I don’t think Zerxus will care. We still don’t know what caused Elias and Zerxus to become estranged. Elena was fired for getting too close. She, Loquatius, Nydas, and Patia have been keeping that secret from Zerxus. Zerxus is under the impression that no one would help when they could. When he finds out the rest of the story it is going to destroy him and any relationship he had to the other members of the circle of brass. I have a sinking feeling they’re going to stop Dean Hollow and her associates at the last moment and Zerxus is going to prevent them from stopping the city from crashing with Asmodeus’ backing. The only thing I can see getting through to him is someone reminding him Elias still lives on Cathmoira, but even that is unlikely. He won’t forgive them. This has been eating away at him since his husband died and they knew. Not only that, they were responsible. Zerxus is going to rain down vengeful hellfire with The Lord of Hell’s help and the entire city, both cities, will burn for their lies. It doesn’t make a difference whether or not Zerxus is being used or lied to by Asmodeus. 

[all-things-john-constantine]

Five minutes into episode two and I already am freaking out so here we go, I’ll update it over the next almost 5 hours 

Nydas, I didn’t suspect you were scheming with Laerryn and Patia at ALL. What the hell are you guys doing? Patia deliberately reminded the others Laerryn had the bow, is she getting cold feet? What are their intentions? Did Zerxus realize something? Is that why he immediately took off after Nydas? I don’t like any of this

DID THEY GET EVANDRIN KILLED WITH THIS SCHEME, I THOUGHT THE FIGURE HE WAS LOOKING PAST ZERXUS AT WAS ASMOXEUS BUT IT WAS PROBABLY EITHER LAERRYN OR PATIA!! PROBABLY LAERRYN

Fuck fuck fuck Zerxus trusted Nydas and his family with his SON, with Evandrin’s son, and Nydas had a role in Evandrin’s death. If I’m right and the death is what caused the estrangement then this is actually the worst.

This is a tragedy, but god I’m mentally chanting “Zerxus, catch up to them. You have to stop them.”

OH NO ZERXUS WIPING AWAY HER TEARS HE DOESN’T HAVE A CLUE

Zerxus siding with them and saying everyone is bored. Oh boy, this is so arrogant of them. This is going to go so wrong please don’t be dragged into this. Loquatius, Cerrit, Zerxus, please don’t let them do this.

Zerxus’ expression when Patia said “What good is loyalty to a dead person” oooooof

What the fuck is that deception check?? Zerxus could have known. Shit.

Oh god you have to be kidding me Patia knew the raven queen before her accession!?

I hate this description of Vespin and the growths it sends a shiver up my spine ugh

Yeah okay so Vespin didn’t become a god, he didn’t replace the betrayer. Asmodeus isn’t quite free yet, but something changed that can now grant powers. Hm

DEAN LYCRITIA HOLLOW IS INVOLVED IN THE ASCENSION? god she’s jealous of the raven queen. Let death be. It’s a part of the cycle of life.

BRENNAN YOU ASSHOLE SKDJRKJFJRNFNFNFNRMDNF

Yeah the entire ring of silver is dirty. Lycritia haha you evil woman you failed to kill him

I knew Loras was shady, I’m going to say I called it even though it was kind of obvious.

Tree of names?

Well shit alright immediately getting answers because Travis rolled incredibly.

So that tree is what’s being powered, and like Luis said it was in the dream. Oh shit

So we have to talk to Elena about Evandrin??

Damn Travis the rolls failed that time! What was he hiding about Elena????

Well that was quick, RIP leaker cormorant. This is the info Laerryn needed so oh boy.

“Our tenacity outweighs the magisters’”

I don’t think that’s a good thing

Damn Velucia, RIP I guess. And the rest of the oracles. Two weeks ago lines up with Chlorus’ rite.

Zerxus god please be okay why would you walk through

Zerxus oh god why did you heal the lord of hells I’m so scared

Zerxus please get answers for your husband, please don’t get killed

I don’t trust it I don’t trust it I don’t trust it Zerxus please be careful

OH NO OH NO DON’T SAY HIS NAME DON’T DO THAT TO ME WHY ZERXUS I’M SO SORRY

Zerxus you kind determined gentle arrogant man I love you with all my heart please be careful

“We all tumbled out”

If he’s here where are the rest of them and what are they up to damn it this is terrifying

So what? Asmodeus thought he was an author making a character more well rounded?

Zerxus I love you, I love your ability to empathize. I want this to work so badly.

Shit shit shit I’m so scared, Asmodeus is exposing that people are lying to Zerxus and we know all his friends have lied to him about Evandrin except Cerrit. Fuck. Did Laerryn and Loquatius divorce after what happened to Evandrin?

I think Brennan is finally going to get his PvP that he didn’t get in Escape from the Blood Keep

Oh god was Lycritia the one who just killed the helmswoman? Who else is with her? Damn damn damn.