allvrdsalt

[allvrdsalt]

“mind if i join you?” griffin starts, approaching aaron’s table. “i’m not going to lie to you, player, i don’t really care.” he hardly waits a beat before shrugging off his backpack, and slips into the chair opposite aaron’s without permission. though, having attended horton with griffin for two years prior, they’ve likely grown accustomed to his behavior. “i’m experiencing something of a crisis. i expect you have a moment to lend a dear friend your ear,” he chatters, giving no regard to what he might be interrupting. he shifts to slip his phone out of his back pocket. “here we are on a brand new campus, with a whole new crop of hunnies falling within our tinder radius. i need to put my best foot forward, maximize my matchability potential, y’know what i’m saying?”  he holds his phone out to the other, and scrolls through three images: they’re nearly identical, save for slight differences in angling. “which of these images makes you most desire a long term relationship, house, maybe even a couple of kids? or at the very least, which guy that you see before you is the guy that you most want to bone and unmatch the day after?” @aarondelgaado​

[allvrdsalt]

“hey, you--” griffin says, forcing a jog to catch up to adam, whom he calls out to from a short distance away. “want a free smoothie? promise it’s not, like, compromised. even though you are my enemy, as my sources have informed me we are in competition for rosa’s heart. you’ll get yours when the times right, because all’s fair in love and war, after all. but for now, take this. please. i hate blueberry and it’s making my hand cold.” he takes a long swig of his own beverage, an iced coffee, and offers up the spare drink. “someone forgot to pick up their blueberry-banana-something at the cafe and josie, who was on shift, is my girl. says i remind her of her nephew. which i always hate to hear, ‘cause i feel like people are always like, oh, you look just like so-and-so and then they’re all eager to show you a picture of a total uggo you wish you’d never been likened to.” he squints his eyes, knocking his head to the side as if studying adam. then, he gives a sharp sigh. “bet you probably haven’t had that problem. very strong jawline you’ve got yourself, flynn. i hate it.” @flvnns

[allvrdsalt]

slumped over on a sofa in the perkins’ study lounge, a bag of frozen pizza rolls held to his cheek, griffin gives a smile to a passerby. “if you think this looks bad, you should see the other guy.” he pauses only a beat. “the other guy being the tension rod in my closet. little bitch. i’m still in the process of unpacking everything, and i realized i wanted it a little higher, y’know, to better accomodate my tall stature -- i’m 6′0, in case you were curious, and yes, i am single and looking and free this saturday night. anyway. the rod was stuck, and i tried fighting with it, it popped out, whacked me, and here we are.” as shrug rolls off his shoulders, he adjusts the makeshift icepack. “i’m here ‘cause i needed to take some space from my room. cannot be in that environment right now. plus, my microwave’s fucking busted from moving, so i was hoping to trap somebody into letting me use theirs to heat these suckers up.” with that, he springs to his feet, tossing and catching the package as he approaches milla. despite what one might think, given his theatrics, there was no bruising on his face. it was maybe a little red from contact witht he cold, if anything. “what do you say?” @kangm​

[allvrdsalt]

“you know what I was thinking? shit’s crazy– so, like, if you could choose, would you rather, like, know the date of your death– the day you’re gonna die, no way to change it, or know your cause of death, like in a car accident or some shit, and nearly piss yourself every time you pull up to an intersection?” griffin ashes the blunt, about to offer it up, but then draws back and hits it again – greedily, puffing out a cloud of smoke, then waving it away with his hand. he takes pause, head cocking to one side in consideration. “don’t answer that,” he says, “because i just thought of something even crazier.” suddenly overcome by a cough, he bends an elbow to block his mouth. “alright,” he says, offering up the weed to share again. “and– i’m being serious. like, i’m so fucking serious right now. is a hotdog… a sandwich?” @leviprk​

[allvrdsalt]

“don’t even bother going in there,” griffin mumbles, stumbling down the front steps of a house not far from campus. his hands are stuffed in his pockets as he addresses the other, fishing out a plastic baggy encapsulating a pre-rolled joint. there’s a party in full swing behind him, so he raises his voice to compete with the rattling bass beat of the music. “party’s a bust. music blows and has all night. i snagged the aux for all of thirty seconds before some douche was threatening to kick my ass.” he lights up and holds in a drag, shaking his head as if in disbelief as he exhales. continuing his lament, he makes an effort to wave away the shroud of smoke that collects around his head. “all over the red hot chilli peppers. like by the way isn’t exactly the vibe to be on. could you imagine just, like, rocking the fuck out. moshing like crazy when it picks up. pushing people all around,” for a moment he speaks animatedly, only for his energy to knocked back down by a resurging wave of vexation. he kicks a rock, not wait long enough to permit a response. “you want to party?” he propositions. “you and i can party.” tugging up his shirt, he reveals a sleeve of root beer nips tucked into his waistband. “swiped them from the guy that was yelling at me. let’s get the fuck out of here — look for unlocked cars and snoop through glove compartments, or something.” @scige​ @viktcrr​

[allvrdsalt]

SMS ✉️ LEAH 🙄💓👊💢

leah: block this number.

leah: i'm not joking.

leah: i will be reporting this. not sure who to yet. but you should be punished for a VERY long time for subjecting your poor grandpa to this

leah: who was this for for real though 👀

leah: it's monday night and griffin allard is putting his grubby little feelers out. WHO is the unlucky lady??

griffin: well nobody now..... you were the trial run and you didn't exactly give a rave review 😔

griffin: omg

griffin: unless

griffin: you were sabotaging me because you know that pic was sexy as hell and passing it off as a mistake was incredibly charming and you know that if such a message gets sent to its intended recipient they wouldn't be able to resist?!!?!?

griffin: and it would be the end of us?!?!?!

griffin: and you cannot STAND the thought?!?!

griffin: because you don't want to grow up to be a lonely, bitter old hag...... still single, cuz lets face it you will be?!?!!

griffin: and ALSO

griffin: you're..... in l-🤢... lo-🤢... love with me? 🤮

griffin: gross. but... can you confirm/deny so i can know for sure whether or not i should send it?

[allvrdsalt]

SMS ✉️ VIKTOR

viktor: fucking christ

viktor: thought you were shirtless in the middle of a fucking hot topic

viktor: [...]

viktor: you have the same physique as chase

viktor: [...]

viktor: are you biting your glasses? christ

viktor: this your tinder pic or something?

griffin: i'm banned from the local hot topic so jot that down. if i were ever shirtless there it'd be a wrap

griffin: so i have the same physique as chase. and? me and chase are easily top 3 hottest mother fuckers up in this bitch. you're just mad you didn't make the cut. jealousy's a disease.... sincerely hope you get well soon 😔🙏💯

griffin: biting my glasses? yeah. i know a thing or two about the art of seduction

griffin: is it turning you on? even a little? be honest

griffin: nah but it should be. thanks for the tip. going ✈️ multiply my match rate

[allvrdsalt]

SMS ✉️ NATHANIEL

nathaniel: you are not the sun :/ the world doesn't revolve around you

nathaniel: and yet i wish both of you would go down, nevertheless

nathaniel: your grandpa took that picture? bless his heart.

nathaniel: i mean oh yeah that's for sure a candid ... you should talk to a professional about stretching techiniques, you're going to end up pulling something

griffin: except i am and it does ☀️🐣

griffin: go down like.... how? 👀 i just do not know if you're hitting on me or dissing me rn i'm shaking

griffin: but either way i'm cool w it player it's like lady sovereign (2006) said.... love me or hate me.... it's still an obsession....

griffin: it absolutely is and i absolutely will NOT! ☀️🐣

[allvrdsalt]

SMS ✉️ LEVI

levi: wtf now u owe me a sunset pic

levi: i didnt kno u had other friends this conversation is going down a horrible path i dont like it

levi: [...]

levi: nothing much i ditched a party and i was walking home but i had to stop halfway to google map my apartment guess im still not used to the new location

griffin: shorturl.at/exGUW

griffin: from me to you :) i'm pressing a kiss to my cellphone screen right now

griffin: i hardly have other friends for what its worth. whole bunch of HATERS and LOSERS on this campus. do not love the vibes thus far

griffin: party? 👀 my invite get lost in the mail?

griffin: respond quick and make the lie good i literally have my pencil pressed to my notepad ready to add you to my running list of enemies.....

[allvrdsalt]

SMS ✉️ MAX

max: [...]

max: nice guns too do you work out?

max: [...]

max: would much prefer the sunset though as i am only into paraphilia and am attracted to landscapes

max: i do appreciate the effort

max: you should wear a shirt near grandma jesus fucking christ... imagine living an insane amount of years to take pics of your shirtless grandson flexing

griffin: obv. i am never not on my gym grind and that's why i have such an admirable physique

griffin: i'm gonna be real with you and say there's no sunset pic. never was. i know this is likely shocking... to be deceived by someone widely regarded as the pinnacle of good moral character. by someone with a face as honest and trustworthy as mine. i'm sorry. i was just looking for an excuse to flex my super hot bod. feeling a little insecure tonight....

griffin: i know what you're thinking. there's such beauty in the vulnerability i demonstrated just then that it makes up for my cruel trick and i don't even need to apologize anymore :)

griffin: speaking of paraphilia. you ever see that one episode of that show where that one person was like, fully in a relationship with pool floats? or the one that boned their car?

griffin: love a good tlc original. if the whole MFA deal doesn't work out, they're def my fallback plan. might fuck around n have like.... 20 kids and exploit 'em on a reality show. top the duggars. they outdid the gosselins and it’s been my biggest aspiration to outdo them ever since

[allvrdsalt]

SMS ✉️ FREYA

freya: easy mistake!

freya: very sexy n ripped ur right 😋

freya: arms too!

freya: let's get a frontal shot? i wanna know if we r talking 6 pack or 8 pack 🤔

freya: it's very important

freya: studying very hard to get a head start this semester (NOT on my third drink of the evening) :-) hbu?

griffin: omg pervert......

griffin: but okay... you've twisted my arm

griffin: shorturl.at/gvzOQ 🙈🙈🙈

griffin: oh hell yeah pour up freya...

griffin: taking a break from trying to wrestle my fitted sheet onto my mattress.... broke a whole sweat my first attempt....

griffin: feel like pure shit just wish my grandma was here to do it for me like she does at home x

griffin: then again i know that if i wait long enough leah will cave and do it for me... not without telling me what a sad sorry little man she thinks i am.... but that's no different from any other day really. it's all gravy baby 😌

[allvrdsalt]

SMS ✉️ LANA JAMESON

lana: jst VIOLENTLY threw up aftr opening this pic???????? Lit Rally an assassination attempt i'm deathly allergic 2 flexing evr since a sun stroke incident @ miami beach where i gt feverish n bit a hulk hogan lookalike's bicep bc i thot it ws well cooked meat??? this is soooooo insensitive omfggggggggg 😔💔

lana: can u b honest w me a sec griffin... is ur grandpa sxy???? 📝🔍 does he deserve tht goose neck 👀

lana: ummmMMMM i'm in some guy's bathroom hv u ever shimmied dwn a drainpipe bc i'm kind of nervous abt it ngl like wht if i break my neck tht wld b a TOTAL downer

griffin: i told you i wasn't flexing i was just stretching i actually am just very #swole and it looks like that 😔

griffin: NO!!!! he's not sexy. four out of ten and that's being generous. time has not been kind to him. do NOT allude to fellating my grandfather ever again!!! i am SICKENED....

griffin: bathroom got a window, queen? drop a pin..... i'll be there to catch you 🤲💪😌

griffin: and all that i would ask of you in return would be to tell rosa and/or all local news outlets that i did....

griffin: lacing up my sneakers rn. brainstorm some ideas for your statement regarding my heroism in the meantime n we can workshop it togehter

[allvrdsalt]

SMS ✉️ RACHEL

rachel: I guess I'm waiting for the sunset pic you were supposed to send?

rachel: Completely unprompted?

griffin: oh sorry i must've deleted it by accident

griffin: don't worry tho i'll do you one better

griffin: shorturl.at/jlDPV

griffin: it's me with a sandwich :)

griffin: haha reply back

[allvrdsalt]

SMS ✉️ ROSA 😩🙌👅💦💯

rosa: EUGH

rosa: [...]

rosa: i have more back muscles than you

rosa: [...]

rosa: who gave u my number i'm genuinely a bit horrified rn

rosa: never send me a picture like this again i'm trying to eat

griffin: damn for real? u got pics? 🤪🤪 aha

griffin: freya and you would not BELIEVE the hoops i had to jump through to get it but my will is so strong.... one of my very many admirable traits.....

griffin: anyways. you're eating rn? dope... i actually eat pretty often, myself. crazy how much we have in common if you really think about it.............

griffin: also if i was there would u let me have a bite? just a little nibble? be honest

[allvrdsalt]

SMS ✉️ WILLOW

willow: why is your first move to get defensive about your grandpa

willow: 0/10 not very smooth of you

willow: [...]

willow: how did you even get this number

griffin: i wasn't getting defensive i just wanted to establish the fact that it was one of my friends, which i have very many of, and spent all of my time with this past summer, that took that photo that i sent to you very accidentally and NOT my grandpa in case u were to think it was for some reason.... that's all.....

griffin: don't worry about how i got your number. just take a second glance at my very athletic physique and be grateful that i did.............. amirite? 😌

[allvrdsalt]

SMS ✉️ OPEN

griffin: check out this dope sunset pic i just took

griffin: shorturl.at/yJQT8

griffin: oh fuck sorry my finger slipped i didn't mean to send you that pic of me

griffin: i'm sooo embarrassed.... 🙈🙈😳 even tho it is a dope shot and my back muscles make me look kinda ripped

griffin: totally not staged btw i was just like stretching super casual and my friend (NOT MY GRANDPA) snapped a quick pic

griffin: anyways haha wyd

[allvrdsalt]

「alex wolff & cis male」⇾ allard, griffin, the junior horton student’s records show that he is a scorpio and 21 years old. he is studying media arts production, living in perkins and can be intelligent, versatile, moody & flippant. when i see him, i am reminded of mustaches scribbled on wrinkled posters of legendary musicians, fist-bumping one’s way though a party of strangers, and a mini-fridge empty but for expired takeout and pabst blue ribbon cans. ⇽「court & 24 & est & she/her.」 click for STATS & WANTED CONNECTIONS :)

- griffin is the last-born triplet of a mother of nearly 40, still nowhere near mature enough to raise children, and no father, because was  anyone’s guess who had gotten her pregnant. after a lifetime of cleaning up her messes, it was hard for griffin’s grandparents to say that they were surprised that their daughter ended up having three children for the price of one. it was exactly in her fashion, they’d say, as if it was comical. it was hard to start all over in raising a child-- never mind three times over-- at their age, but when their grandbabies were made their responsibility, also exactly in their daughter’s fashion, it was never a question whether or not they would. - griffin grew up in a shabby old home tucked away at the end of a dead-end, dirt road street. his grandfather once worked for a company that painted and wallpapered, though an accident left him with a permanent disability long before he and his sisters were even born, and his grandmother had long-since quit her job as a secretary to become a stay-at-home mom to his mother. money was tight and days at home were slow, with two caregivers that couldn’t keep up with young kids. griffin had two sisters, tatum and riley, beautiful girls with big, dark eyes, beautiful curls, and dimples that sunk deep into their fleshy cheeks when they would smile; he’d always figured being an only child would be way less lonely than having them as sisters, because he always resented that he wasn’t one of them. they were each other’s best friend and they didn’t try to include him, not that griffin would have been receptive. too proud even then to admit when something really hurt him. while they practiced their secret handshake and exchanged gimp bracelets the yard, griffin lost himself in the make-believe, sword fighting invisible nemeses and climbing dirt mounds like mountains, being sure to kick up some dirt at his sisters on the way to the top, just for the thrill of hearing them shriek. it was almost like getting back at them. - griffin has always been very energetic, very imaginative, and very bright. he liked to push limits every now and then; a penchant to carry just a bit of chaos with him. from a young age, he had a definite flair for the dramatics, always lost in some fantastical scenario. he had certain eccentricities; he spoke in monologues, and was always the loudest voice in the room.  he was big into acting, extremely into theater in elementary school through junior high. he was bullied pretty badly for his involvement in school plays while in middle school. the popular guys his age didn’t really like him because they couldn’t relate to that, and the girls his age didn’t care for him either, maybe because his sisters weren’t exactly helping his case when it came to their friends. and maybe partially because his larger-than-life personality made him an easy target; he could surely be grating for some.  - [ALCOHOLISM MENTION] for most of his life, griffin has struggled with loneliness. feeling like such a black sheep. feeling like no one liked him -- no one wanted him around. not really. not his sisters, not his classmates. sometimes he thought that his mother did, when she’d crawl into bed with him, run her fingers through his curls. call him sweet things like baby boy as he drifted off to sleep. but then he’d wake up and she’d be gone, and so would something like his tv -- pawned so that she can afford to drink for a week or two. sometimes he’d seek out his grandparents -- who he did know loved him, but did they like him? they couldn’t possibly, as far as griffin was concerned, with how little patience they seemed to have for him (though that had more to do with their old age than it did with him). he hated it. he hated hurting. he had to make it stop. smart and resourceful as he was, he devised a plan.  - he decided to reinvent himself. or maybe not reinvent so much as to take charge – he wasn’t going to be passive and fade into the background, be a victim to dumb school hierarchies. if people weren’t going to like him, he was going to give them a reason to. no one could hurt him if he didn’t let them, and so he wouldn’t. like playing a character, improvisation as himself, only better: louder and funnier, a caricature version of himself, that made him feel untouchable. unbreakable. he became something of a hedonist -- caring primarily for doing what made him feel good when he wanted to feel good. he leaned into the side of him intrigued by chaos and controversy, having fun ruffling people’s feathers every now and then. especially those who didn’t seem to like him. and much to his surprise, it worked. people were receptive to the facade that griffin adopted. he was fun, he was cool, he was unexpected. he was also exhausted, though, and still lonely, because there were very few people he could truly let his guard down around. would he ever get it right? - though he’s long-since ditched acting, he never lost the spark. his goal now is to become a screenwriter and he’s majoring in media arts production and applying for MFA programs as a next step to achieving that dream. griffin is very intelligent and i see him as someone very creative and gifted in that he really understands people, strong emotions (bc lbr player knows a thing or two about them he’s p angsty on the low), can expertly capture the big picture but also have a keen eye for subtle nuances and delivers really compelling stories.i really like to imagine that he’s done very well academically and feels super validated by his success in college. i think at this point he really believes that he can achieve the future that he seeks and really become something despite coming from relatively nothing. - think he still feels like he’s sorely lacking a genuine sense of companionship with people who see and know him, truly, for who he is, and worries that he never will. after running from himself for so long i think he wants to be able to lay down his armor and be recognized for who he is. we’ll see if that happens for him!