alonelyteensblog

[alonelyteensblog]

24/11/21

Hi! 

I know I’m posting this a tad bit late but , I’m not feeling well so I thought perhaps writing it out may help? I don’t know.

TRIGGER WARNING : SUICIDE

Alright so, I’ve been feeling really down lately, now I can name a couple reasons why that’s happening but i’m not gonna do that because it will make this worse than they already are.

So, if by chance you’ve been reading my blog posts ... you may know of an incident that made me look like a fool. Yeah long story short it’s about a boy who was flirting with , which felt so natural yet he was just making fun of me in front of his friends. Now you may call me naive or sensitive but that is still making me feel awful . Even though I don’t think it’s my fault or maybe it might be but it feels like I just don’t deserve anything. Nothing is going right in my life. I’m failing my tests in school , I’m getting made fun of each and every single day which feels awful but nothing i can do about it either ways and to top it all off ... I’m obese...

 YEAH IM OBESE ..TADA!! Just a brief description of me , I’m 15 , I’m obese that is , I’m weigh a whopping 210 pounds and I’m 5′7. Yeah I didn’t want to write that but I feel like if it makes things better for me perhaps it may help me feel good, but guess I was wrong. 

 It sometimes feels like I should just end my life. I’m nothing but a disappointment, I can’t be compared to other people , I just wanted to live a normal teenage life but I just can’t .

And if you’re wondering why there’s a trigger warning, it’s because I’ve been continually daydreaming of ending my life . Yeah it seems like it may be the only option for me right now . What I’m trying to say is that I’m going through A LOT .Obesity is just making my life so much more difficult than it should be . Well for starters, I don’t fit into my school uniform , I get made fun of everywhere I go  because I wear extremely baggy clothes which makes me looks awful than I already am , girls at my school, well the boys as well they make fun of me because apparently I eat up my feelings -_- (yeah I know that makes no sense but that’s what I get told every single day). I really didn’t feel comfortable writing this but I feel like this is extremely necessary. 

I don’t even know how many days I’m gonna survive like this , I might as well just a have a heart attack and end it all .I don’t know what I’m talking about anymore. I’m bawling my eyes out as I’m writing this , so it’s really blurry and i can’t really see what I’m writing anymore. My head hurts like hell now and it’s getting really dizzy . And just so you know, I’m not trying to gain sympathy here , I’m just stating facts and that’s all.

This feels so surreal that it sometimes feels like all of this may just be an illusion ,which doesn’t make it better because I don’t find a reason to live anymore .

I know myself , and I also know that I’ve been acting like all of this is normal and it doesn’t affect me , but that’s false.

I’ve been strong for too long now , and it hurts me to reflect back to all the shit show I’ve been through . My head is in a lot of pain now and I just went to grab a glass of water and saw that my eyes are now extremely red of all the crying and my face is puffed up than usual. Yeah that’s that . 

I’m gonna write the rest of it maybe sometime later because I’m feeling really vulnerable now and i feel like if I don’t stop writing ... I’m going to regret doing something that I REALLY don’t want to do. I have to go to school tomorrow so i guess I’m just gonna focus on preparing for tomorrow 

Bye reader! don’t indulge yourself in other people’s activities and don’t let others negative vibes get to you! and remember to drink plenty of water 😄😄.

Have a great day or night ahead :D

[alonelyteensblog]

23/11/21

Hello reader!!

I’m kind of sad today -

If you’ve been reading my blog from some time , you’ll know that my dad had some liver disease... well it’s not really getting better -

The doctor advised him to get a echocardiogram which is basically to see the movement of his heart. Yeah that’s that...aside’s form that my life right now is going pretty bland I guess , and my teenage hormones are kicking in -_-

LOL that’s all for now😂

Drink loads of water and have fun with your life

Bai Bai reader!! 

[alonelyteensblog]

22/11/21

Morning peeps!!

Lol it’s freezing cold here and I don’t even wanna get out of bed ... oof

 I’m gonna probably relax all day , because I’m honestly so damn tired .. don’t ask my why though lol.

I have no clue why I’m feeling like this but perhaps it just might be because I slept for no more than 4 hours... yeah probably-

Anyways , I missed my school today TvT . My school bus came to my stop at the right time BUT I was sleeping UGH! My mom later told me that I had missed my bus

Chile- that’s all for now 🤦‍♀️

Bai bai!!

[alonelyteensblog]

21/11/21

Heya!!!! 

Ahhh it’s been almost I think , a week, since I wrote anything 👀...

Long story short I was at my cousin’s wedding and it’s far from where I live...so we were on a  road trip ... and I write these quick blogs on my desktop at my home .

SO, that’s the reason why I wasn’t writing a thing. I missed this so muchhh!!

Anyways- I had a lot of fun on the road trip! members of my family are the only people I socialize with , so it was a blast! 

We had a karaoke session while we were on the road trip and ii was one of the best times of my life :D

Yepp that’s all for now ! See you more often from now on reader :))

[alonelyteensblog]

16/11/21

Yolo peeps!

It’s currently 10:53 am , and I’ve got a few classes to attend and I thought, since I’d be busy with that , why don’t I write for now.

Soo.. nothing new really happened today, just sort of bored from constantly studying.😐

Actually my dad has some sort of uric acid problems in his hand, and apparently he’s in a lot of pain, so we might go to the hospital today...

I’m sorry I’m just , not really feeling anything today 😂

I’m guessing this day is gonna go really bland, but that’s quite alright!

Yeah that’s it to be honest...

Have a wonderful day ahead :D

[alonelyteensblog]

14/11/21

Good morning!

I’m once again really sorry i didn’t upload yesterday.

The reason behind that was because, I got rejected lol. So , there is , or well was this person that I really liked from around 6 months and he was the only person I socialized with. He knew I liked him. So he used to flirt with me all the time , and I thought he actually did that. But little did I know , he was making fun of me in front of his friends secretly 🤦‍♀️. 

I didn’t know that so I thought why don’t I shoot my shot. So , we were talking casually and i asked him if he had a girlfriend. He took that opportunity and  teased me . And idk why but it made me feel like he was actually making fun of me. So , he then said no, and guess what I did? Yeah I asked him if he would be my boyfriend. He laughed at me 🤷‍♀️ and he kept on laughing like a maniac. i asked what was he laughing about, änd he goes “Do YoU EvEn HeAr YoUrSelF, never in a million years , would someone like me date a girl like you, LMAO you’re delusional “. And I kid you not , I’m not the kind of person that gets offended easily , but since I knew him really well and i fell for him , it felt awful , heck it still feels awful D:. Not that i can do anything about this feeling , but it still is really hurting.

His friends came up to me yesterday and made fun of me lol. “HAHAHAH LOL WHAT DID YOU THINK HE WAS GOING TO ASK YOU OUT?!?!?...”,”what is wrong with you?!”,”never do that ever again or you’ll face the consequences”.

-_-

Yeah so this was the reason why I didn’t write yesterday. It caused me to have a mental breakdown and I cried a lot and I mean a LOT.

I just don’t get why people love hurting others, like what do you earn from that , happiness?, satisfaction?, pleasure? .. if yes then they need serious mental help- 

This just hurt me a lot and I started doubting myself  whether there actually is something wrong with me so , I thought I’d write it down here if it makes me feel any better, and you know it is kind of working , because now that I think of it , it really isn’t my fault.

LOL I didn’t realize it but, this is my biggest post yet.

＼（o_o）／

Hehe, that’s all for now :D, thankyou for spending your time reading this :) Hopefully this may help you if something like this happens with you as well :))

Have a great day ahead !!

[alonelyteensblog]

11/11/21

Good evening! 

I am sorry that this post is a little late 😂

I have been really busy today as well lol... i have my language exam tomorrow TvT. Chile anyways so- i’d say i’ve prepared quite well for this exam sooo...it’s a win.

I don’t really have anything to say for today because im kinda bored. But everything asides , i just got my first follower EEEK . I LITERALLY CAN’T TELL YOU HOW HAPPY I AM!!  

that would be all for now :D 

Have a great night/day ahead :))

[alonelyteensblog]

10/11/21

Morning peeps!!

I hope you’re doing great :D...

Ok so , remember the exam I was talking about? turns out its postponed 🥳Honestly speaking I’m literally so happy about this because this was the exam I’m not the best at and also I hadn’t prepared that well for it either lol. But now that its postponed , I’m gonna have this exam on 17th November, Yay!!

Although I do have a language exam on 13th ;-;...so I still don’t really have freedom from studies yet.

Yeah that’s it for now , enjoy your day :)

[alonelyteensblog]

09/11/21

Good morning!

Its currently 8:49 am and I’m sleepy as heck 😂.Yet I can’t really go back to sleep because, I have an exam tomorrow and that too of the subject I suck at😌.Lol , so I will have to compromise my tiredness for now and sit and study as much as I can to get good grades on this test.

OOH and also a lil update on my broken neck, it’s healing! Yay!, i feel like now that it’s getting a bit better ,Its gonna take no more than around 2 days for it to fully heal :D .For the past couple of days , my neck had been hurting so badly , that I wasn’t even able to tilt my neck sideways just a little bit. But it’s getting better now ! so I just have to have patience for now :)

That’s all for now, hope your day goes well and fair and remember to drink plenty of water throughout the day because your health matters more than any other thing existing 😄

Toodles!!

[alonelyteensblog]

08/11/21

Its 3:30 pm in the afternoon where I live. I came back from school about an hour ago. AND , if you’re wondering why I didn’t write a thing yesterday , that is because I had a math exam today TvT and let me tell you , math isn’t really my strongest suite...Oof anyways- so I was really caught up with preparing for my exams that I didn’t get a minute to write here...WELP that’s that. Another thing about me is that after this whole Covid pandemic thing , I sort of lost interest in school. Well there are two reasons for that...

Firstly, I lost all my friends. Now here’s the thing , before the pandemic took place, I had a lot of best friends, and I mean a lot but I saw their true colors . They were rude to me once we started coming back to the offline mode of school. I mean , not gonna lie , I feel like its actually a really good thing... because atleast I got to know people are two faced.

 The second reason would be the studies. I mean lets be real now , teaching in the offline method is way more effective than online mode. Yeah so that’s honestly it. 

Lol im currently listening to https://youtu.be/nTFOunpypvY this playlist and LET ME TELL YOU- this playlist has its very own CHARM ;D. what i mean to say is , listen to it! i can assure you its AmAzInG!! 

I feel like i should stop for now 😂...

Okie then Toodles reader!!

Enjoy your day, you deserve it!!

[alonelyteensblog]

06/11/21

Good morning reader! its Saturday , not that I’m expecting anything new today , but I feel like today is gonna go slightly good , or so I hope. Well I literally just woke up and I  had to write something here otherwise my brain wont let me start my day lol. Also as soon as I woke up , I had this huge pain in my neck...turns out I slept in the wrong manner TvT...Hope you have a good day ahead :D ill try posting as much as i can ! Toodles for now!🥰

[alonelyteensblog]

Hey there!

I am , well anonymous for now 😂 .Jokes aside , I’m a 15 year old teenager that has no friends for now. Okay so, i decided of using tumblr because a person that can go on talking for hours , yeah that would be me. A couple of weeks ago i saw tumblr as a youtube ad, and i thought , since i dont really have people i can actually communicate with in real life , why not do it online! Anyways , this is going to be my very first post, just a brief introduction about me and later on ill try posting as much as i can .Thankyou so much for spending your time reading this 😄 Have a great day ahead!