alwaysmychoices

[alwaysmychoices]

Breaking my unintentional hiatus to announce I passed the bar exam.

[alwaysmychoices]

do you ever read a book and know the author was overly concerned with the persephone myth on tumblr in 2014

[alwaysmychoices]

lol, I got too cocky that the craziness was over, so an ovarian cyst ruptured and I spent two weeks getting every test, waiting to see if my body could handle it or if I needed surgery. Turned out fine, but with the bar exam in two weeks, there’s no way I’m finishing that poor chapter any time soon.

A Little Update

Since Bridgerton got me back posting on here, I just wanted to give everyone an update for why I've been gone.

Good news - I graduated law school!

Bad news - now, I have to study for the bar exam, and I'm at the point where the motivation pep talks they give at the end of the lectures make me cry.

Worse news - the love of my life, my dog, Beau, had a medical emergency. We really don't know what happened, but long story short, he had an infection that created enough fluid in his eyes that his retina detached and he lost his eyesight. The infection responded well to treatment, so we're crossing our fingers that he regains some sight. But in the mean time, I dropped everything to stay closer to a specialist vet and have been a wreck for the last few weeks.

Better news - I've finally started writing again. I am currently writing the outline for the last chapter of with and without (oof, that was a hard sentence to write), and then I want to publish a few epilogues about their wedding and life after.

Writing this series has meant so much to me. I started it in college, and it helped me find my way back to writing after too much time away. With and Without was my coping mechanism during COVID. I'm not sure if I've ever shared this (and sorry for the trauma dump), but in 2021, I became extremely sick with COVID. I was part of a big outbreak in my community around that time, so I spent my last few months of college on bed rest, listening to doctors yell at each other in the hallway about whether they could fit me into the ICU and what would happen if they didn't. My recovery was infuriatingly slow, and it was coupled with so many life changes and the crazy decision to still start law school in the fall. With and Without was a place I could escape and process my emotions, and I am forever grateful for that.

I wish I could have finished it sooner when our community was bigger, but I also don't begrudge my time with this story. But it got me though school, and it's time that I thank these characters for their service with their very own happily ever afters.

So, thank you for sticking around and putting up with my long chapters, unplanned hiatuses, and unrelenting angst ❤️

[alwaysmychoices]

A Little Update

Since Bridgerton got me back posting on here, I just wanted to give everyone an update for why I've been gone.

Good news - I graduated law school!

Bad news - now, I have to study for the bar exam, and I'm at the point where the motivation pep talks they give at the end of the lectures make me cry.

Worse news - the love of my life, my dog, Beau, had a medical emergency. We really don't know what happened, but long story short, he had an infection that created enough fluid in his eyes that his retina detached and he lost his eyesight. The infection responded well to treatment, so we're crossing our fingers that he regains some sight. But in the mean time, I dropped everything to stay closer to a specialist vet and have been a wreck for the last few weeks.

Better news - I've finally started writing again. I am currently writing the outline for the last chapter of with and without (oof, that was a hard sentence to write), and then I want to publish a few epilogues about their wedding and life after.

Writing this series has meant so much to me. I started it in college, and it helped me find my way back to writing after too much time away. With and Without was my coping mechanism during COVID. I'm not sure if I've ever shared this (and sorry for the trauma dump), but in 2021, I became extremely sick with COVID. I was part of a big outbreak in my community around that time, so I spent my last few months of college on bed rest, listening to doctors yell at each other in the hallway about whether they could fit me into the ICU and what would happen if they didn't. My recovery was infuriatingly slow, and it was coupled with so many life changes and the crazy decision to still start law school in the fall. With and Without was a place I could escape and process my emotions, and I am forever grateful for that.

I wish I could have finished it sooner when our community was bigger, but I also don't begrudge my time with this story. But it got me though school, and it's time that I thank these characters for their service with their very own happily ever afters.

So, thank you for sticking around and putting up with my long chapters, unplanned hiatuses, and unrelenting angst ❤️

[alwaysmychoices]

No that makes perfect sense for Eloise. Lots of thoughts and not a single one about what’s going on around her.

Sooo … let me get this straight.

Violet knew, Cressida clocked it, Lord Debling learned of it. Essentially everybody in the ton was aware of it except Eloise???

Seems strange but ok I guess 🤷‍♀️

[alwaysmychoices]

I pray Masali Baduza has a very strong support system because the Bridgerton fanbase has a problem with racism, sexism, and bullying.

Considering the treatment of previous POC actors on the show (white women still take perverse glee out of making think pieces about RJP and his career trajectory), I don’t trust Shondaland to protect this dark skinned black woman who is playing a queer character. But I will! Any words formed against her shall not prosper!!

[alwaysmychoices]

BRIDGERTON SPOILER but also same. Totally appreciate what they’re going for in the sense of regency-era comphet, and I’m excited to see that play out on screen but still a little disappointed about the approach. So many stories are focused on “one true love” to the point where it must devalue any past or future relationships, and this was one of the few things where I feel like the Bridgerton series captured that nuance well.

Gender discourse aside for one moment, am I the only one angered they made Francesca seem the bessoted one while meeting Michael/Michaela and not the other way around. That completely ruins her character. The entire point of the story is that Michael has been in love with Francesca for years knowing full well she would never, ever betray John, emotionally or otherwise. Ironically that's what Michael admires her for, he tells her so himself. That's what makes it tragic and beautiful.

[alwaysmychoices]

BRIDGERTON SPOILER

Me, someone who thinks we need way more regency-era lesbians in pretty dresses on TV, and also me, someone who was excited to see the Michael Sterling and infertility storyline

[alwaysmychoices]

THIS IS ALL I'VE EVER NEEDED THEY'RE CANONICALLY LIVING TOGETHER THANK YOU😭😭

MC was just at home folks. We have our explanation.

[alwaysmychoices]

Emily Henry and I need to have a chat because her releases are always at the beginning of my exam period, and I don't need this level of temptation.

[alwaysmychoices]

“Blink and you’re twenty-eight, and everyone else is now a mile down the road, and you’re still trying to find it, and the irony is hardly lost on you that in wanting to live, to learn, to find yourself, you’ve gotten lost.”

V.E. Schwab, The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue

[alwaysmychoices]

luna mckinley & beckett harrington, the elementalists.

[alwaysmychoices]

So I stayed up and listened to it and formed very strong opinions about tracks, and then the next day, I met up with a friend and was so excited to show her certain tracks and my sleep-deprived takes were objectively wrong. So now I’m basically getting to experience for the first time again

I already finished The Anthology and I don't know... I'm so numb! And heartbroken! And kind of sedated! My heart is crushed! I so need to process this album, this is a masterpiece!

[alwaysmychoices]

[alwaysmychoices]

sometimes I think about how fanfiction is generally regarded as a space for women, yet this is so consumed with the idea of an ingenue that it asks women why they're still here if they have the audacity to age. And there's a line of young girls who rise and fall with the highs of fandom curiosity, and you watch them exhaust themselves -- their author's notes a litany of apologies for not giving more until their posts become fewer and fewer. They give and give until you see the post wondering why they're not the magic they were when they were fourteen. It happens again and again, but it was never supposed to happen at all.

[alwaysmychoices]

the fact that i'm no longer the same age as the protagonists of novels and films i once connected to is so heartbreaking. there was a time when I looked forward to turning their age. i did. and i also outgrew them. i continue to age, but they don't; never will. the immortality of fiction is beautiful, but cruel.

[alwaysmychoices]

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus - taylor swift