amiueoww

[amiueoww]

Dear you,

Terima kasih untuk kisah sekotak susu strawberry yang ku tulis pekan lalu, sepertinya Ia mendengar doa ku sehingga aku sudah tidak terpenjara dalam bilik bangunan tersebut. tapi dengan penuh kesadaran ku, aku telah melukai seseorang. Seseorang yang sangat berarti dalam kenangan sekotak susu strawberry itu. Aku tak pernah berniat untuk mengecewakannya, yang aku lakukan selama ini bertahan untuk dia. aku sedikit pun tak pernah berniat hengkang sepenuhnya melawan pinta nya. Aku senang ini semua berakhir, tetapi aku bersedih melawan pintanya. ia kecewa, sepenuhnya kecewa. aku tau itu. sabarlah, aku bisa membuat ini lebih baik.

[amiueoww]

Pain Behind My Back

Mengapa mudah sekali menulis penggalan kata pengungkap lirih di banding ungkapan kebahagiaan. Mungkin ini bentuk prinsip hidup, dimana seseorang butuh sebuah rasa yang kontras, dimana yang saat dulu dan saat sekarang berbanding sangat terbalik, sehingga ia tahu yang dulu adalah lebih baik dari sekarang. Tapi kamu meminta lebih. Aku terus selalu berharap sejak menduduki bangku kuliah, aku berjanji akan menuliskan tiap hari-hari ku di sini. Awalnya indah, aku selalu mengutarakan pikiran ku ke dalam lembar digital ini. Tapi semua berubah, ketika ku rasa kebahagiaan yang ku dapat adalah bentuk yang wajib untuk ku, sehingga aku tak mensyukurinya lagi. Dan aku pun tak pernah menuliskan berbagai bentuk kebahagiaan yang aku alami, rasa syukur yang ku dapat, hingga keberuntungan dadakan yang ku terima. Semua ku nilai "wajar". Aku hanya berharap; tolong, jangan berakhir. Harapan ku mungkin tak sekuat ketidak-perdulian ku untuk bersyukur, sehingga Ia memutar balikkan keberuntungan ku. Aku hanya berasumsi. Biarpun tidak berubah setelaknya, aku mulai merasakan pelan tapi pasti. Ini akan telak sekali kalau kita--bahkan aku tak mau bertindak. Aku bukan dalam hipnotis motivasi dari motivator terkenal, tapi aku yakin itu dari pikiran ku sendiri. Tiap hari ku bisikkan, "What i've to do right now?" Aku ingin semua menjadi lebih baik.

[amiueoww]

strawberry milk forever

Aku meminum sedikit demi sedikit susu pasteurisasi rasa strawberry dengan hati-hati, rasa dinginnya bertemu dengan tenggorokan ku yang mulai meradang. aku sedikit meringis kesakitan ketika menelannya, tapi aku tetap berjalan tenang menyusuri hamparan pertokoan menengah kebawah ini.

Aku selalu berharap, tiba nanti saatnya aku bisa mengabdi, memiliki tanggung jawab atas keterampilan ku, dan merasakan bagaimana hebatnya aku tidak bergantung pada siapa-siapa.

aku kembali menelan cairan susu itu dengan secepat mungkin agar rasa sakitnya cepat berakhir.

ah.. rasa dan wangi susu ini membuat ku teringat pada masa kecil ku. dimana aku tergeletak lemas di bangsal penuh kemuraman, yang hanya ditemani oleh suster-suster tua yang terlihat tidak ramah. setiap hari dalam seminggu, mama selalu membawakan ku susu pasteurisasi rasa strawberry, dan ku habiskan pelan-pelan agar rasa sepi di bangsal tidak memenjarakanku terlalu lama.

aku ingat, dimana rasa tenang ada di sana. dimana aku hanya terbaring bersama dekapan nya. dimana hanya ada susu strawberry yang wanginya selalu membuat rindu kala itu.

dimana keharusan ku untuk melaksanakan permintaan nya adalah tidak melakukan hal buruk selama sekolah berlangsung.

tapi kini,

sembari ku buang kotak susu menyebalkan ini yang menyebabkan aku harus mengingat hal-hal yang ku rindukan,

aku menghadapi realita yang sedang ku coba untuk bisa nyaman dengan ini,

ku buka pintu bangunan yang mengumpulkan segala kekesalan ku,

let’s get to work.

[amiueoww]

i can’t count how much time i feel blessed, to have him by my side.

[amiueoww]

Changed Part

“Don’t you think that everything is changing too fast?”

i found it on my ask box in ask.fm, it came from ask.fm bot not from a person. When i saw that ask, i really really want to tell the world every second what totally happen. What already happen since the last time i posted in tumblr?

i can’t tell it, i’m not even share this with anyone. but i have to pour it, i can’t bear any longer. i miss my old part who have ability to spread the story into a tumblr, so i’ll start over with this post. hufft.

it started when they told me that we have to move, we have to work our ass off, we have to leave our habit. and... that was terrible for me. Me, as a misguided girl was got shocked as hell. i cried almost every night just to ask to God, i hope both would be given a longlife. no matter what the prob is, i hope they would. time by time, slowly i realize these would happen to us, soon or later. it depends what we want, and i regret why he doesn’t think the way i do.

and that’s just the way of God to make me realize i have to start it now, i have to leave, i have to be mature. i can’t always be a little girl, so i decide to be a strong me :’)

[amiueoww]

NEVER THOUGHT THAT I'M SO STRONG. I STUCK ON YOU AND WAIT SO LONG. -- ENDAH N RHESA

[amiueoww]

pinky creatures

Another bouquet of rose from theartknight21. thanks a lot :)

[amiueoww]

Everybody wants a perfect love story. Perfect spouse, perfect wedding, perfect house, perfect future. Cute kids. It got me wondered that maybe perfect is not about the person we're with, not the things they do or have, not according to people's opinions. I once thought that there is no perfect soulmate, all there is to have is an acceptance our hearts do to let go of mistakes and flaws our loved one did. But now I realize that perfect is just perfect. We're not thinking about the flaws and the mistakes in the past, not because we're not trying to adjust it, but we just don't see it and we don't bother to care. And you won't be tired to thank God each time you look at him. The meaning of perfect is different to every minds, but that's my perspective of perfect love story, as I'm living it now. :)

Sonia Eryka

[amiueoww]

I'm currently in love with The Fault In Our Stars movie.

i remember when i accidentally watched the trailer at Grand Indonesia blitzmegaplex and they stole my attention to attempted my self to watch their full movie in theater. a short trailer within less than 3 minutes enough to told me that they were a cute couple, a love story that often ran inside my head.

i always adore to a simply love story, not have much complicated problems to be together. i do to love a character which is the girl or the boy who has inability to socialize properly. Hazel, in this movie has lost her half lungs, and befriends her oxygen tank wherever she goes. Hazel doesn't has many friends, but she always has her parents who cares about her. Until she know Guz, a guy in same group of cancer support. Guz has lost his right leg and prosthetic leg become his replacement leg, and he often to smoke a unlit cigarette. yet i still don't know why he did that. they met and fell in love, and be a happy couple, until one of them died from the complication. but before one of them died, Hazel asked Guz to went to Amsterdam (cmiiw, i almost forgot) where the Hazel's favorite book author lived. In my opinion, Amsterdam became a place where their love grew uncontrollable.

Aah you should watch the full movie! i watched the movie at Pacific Place with theartknight21 and it was my first drama movie you used to call film galau i ever watched with him. One thing about watching drama movie, they always have quotes that would remind us of them.

"you gave me a forever within the numbered days, and i'm grateful"

"i fell in love the way you fall asleep, slowly then all at once."

"you don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world. But you do have some say in who hurts you. Like my choice."

that's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt"

"it would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you"

the third lines i do excessively agree. people come and go, i could't read their mind what they would do to me. But, i could do to choose which is one of them to be given my privilege to hurts me.

here's my fanart of #TFIOS :

i love to draw Hazel, but Guz is more complicated because i can't draw a charming guy :P

[amiueoww]

Here's my doodle when the lyrics of Paramore's song was stuck in my head.

[amiueoww]

fasting never been this hard.

i'm totally craving for heavenly taste of these sweets!

[amiueoww]

Did you ever feeling 'blue'?

"if you were feeling blue and when the world turns against you, wouldn't it be a wiser idea to have a positive attitude and face the problems!"

Quote of the day, and ignore my sleepy face above.

okay, unrelated topic.

i tried to one-day-dyed my hair with color spray by Feves and it looks awesome at the pict but in reality, it disgusted me, how sticky they were to my hair, and my batman-armor t-shirt turned into a blue dotted behind my sprayed hair. thank God it washable, haha. But i've spent half of shampoo just to washed this sticky paint out of my hair.

i had intention to dyed my hair, not whole of them, just a lil bit below of my hair and the way how you dyed the hair like that called "Ombre". seems so mainstream for a girl who has the same age like me, and i don't give a damn. i was being so hipster back in my days. and it's time to fangs up!

probably i would choose the dark brown or lighter one. i don't have enough confident to apply the stunning-color on my hair. deep inside my self, i want to dyed my hair with dark blue.... but i'm afraid everyone will call me 'alay' hahaha.

so i satisfied my self with this one-day color spray, thanks Feves!

[amiueoww]

break from tightly deadline and assignment

Hello there. Late posting as usual. Lately i went to ARTE Indonesia at JCC Plenary Hall, uhmm.. LATELY? it was 2-3 weeks ago, but i still mention it 'lately' because all of those stuff which hanging back my head, put themselves on waiting list to be done. don't worry, i already puking my bed with lots of boredom to stay at home just to deal with my assignment and project. back to the topic, this is the first time i went to ARTE Indonesia. let's take a look from my camera's view.

i can't resist any cuteness from these lovelyjars. i'd pick the eiffel-shapped if i had enough money to bought them. they are pretty expensive.

my bro.

actually i love my new college crewneck from dignitycloth, it takes me so many time to decide which cooler besides good vibes from Pull&Bear.

i can't keep my eyes away from this plenty of simetric canvas. there's spirited away anime from Gibli studio.

a bit of disappointment for ARTE this year. from the big space of JCC Plenary hall, they only took 1/4 of the building, and you can imagine how wide they are.

the artist POPOH also made an artwork for ARTE, i can't get nice picture of his artwork because a lot of people did selfie in front of his -_-

so this is my latest weekend... how about you? i bet yours better than mine. i wish i had my beautiful weekend back in me.

[amiueoww]

thankyou misterrrrr :x

thnks for being there when everyone doesn’t 

all my lovng

mr21

[amiueoww]

The mainstream reason to be posted in tumblr; RANDOM

Well, i thought this terms 3 holiday doesn't make any sense for me. There's no journey-to-wherever, no special events, and Jakarta goes insane these January. How far your eyes sees through, the only one can sees is flood. yet not every place has been, but almost has. Since the last time i drove a car to Boulevard Gading, it had been flooded as deep as car's tire. Thank God the safe zone is my home, but it means i can't go anywhere. You can't imagine how much boredom hit me all day, bruises in my entire brain (recently i realize i had a brain...oh man).

i am type of girl who can't stay at home constantly, i love to hang out. just sight-seeing cute stuff at mall, had a glass of ice green tea latte, and take a walk into shop by shop. But nowadays, my self slowly turning into the opposite one. i don't know should i happy or sad, maybe this is my faith. #eaa

How i miss the time i express my feeling onto this tumblr, my artwork, my twitter status... i thought i've been spamming unimportant things on every socmed of mine. should i break my own heart so i could fluently make a ridiculous masterpiece? no way. i am happy now. i just don't know how to express my happiness. yeah.. sure.. happiness. I remember the shit day i spent my whole day to wrote a stupid poem, a post on my blog although no one can see it, and spent my time for a vain thing... i finally realize that my time is more important, i should learn to love my self. after the heartbreak, i closed my previous page with a song from Blink 182 titled Time to Break Up. That was shit enough moment i've ever had, haha.

What's your random things inside your head? Did they bothers you? Pour it, and it makes you better.

[amiueoww]

just exploring does my dSLR still working after the last time i used it is since the firework party on New Year 2014 (ohyeah.., firework party. i didn't get involved, i just shot it through my yard.) and i haven't take any photoshoot this far. this is my favorite perfume, this could be my heroine because everytime i sniff its smell, i'd flew away. it scents such a vanilla cold ice cream (literally; cold) unfortunately this parfume been not on any store anymore.

[amiueoww]

What's up, Lilian? -- this is my character based on +44 song titled "Lilian", the song told us when pretty case doesn't guarantee a nice attitude. So, how do you know deep inside your pretty face actually has bad soul? i'm too afraid with my alter ego when i was on temperamental mood. Probably this can visualize how my alter ego looks alike.