ammiwritings - Tumblr blog

ammiwritings · 8 years ago

Text

dried blood 01

part: 1/?

paring: taehyung/seokjin x reader genre: angst, dystopian au, the last of us, the walking dead, etc. word count: 9.5K warnings: gore, blood, disturbing themes and events.

01 | birthday presents

A chime of light giggle left your throat when you saw Jeongguk beside you struggle with making a knot. “I can’t believe you don’t know how to tie a balloon,” you said. The thread must’ve been too thin for the boy’s fingers — he picked at a lame knot he’d made earlier and glanced at you, looking lost. “Give it to me,” you moved closer to him and took the thread. He stood watching you tie the knot, another garland with a dozen of colourful balloons, which were tied by you earlier, in his other hand. Jeongguk sighed.

“Noona,” trailed off, fidgeting as if trying to take the garland back. “Wait, I’m almost—” you tied the knot firmly, “done,” and held the thread for him to take, grinning. “Here.”

The younger rolled his eyes, embarrassed, and muttered, “Thanks.” “Anyway, what’s a ‘noona?’” you glanced at him, quirking an eyebrow. Jeongguk reacher for a chair nearby, “It’s how Korean men call older girls,” he said. “Men?” You laughed.

“Uh-uh. Men. As in males,” he said. Jeongguk climbed up on the chair and took the garland by it’s end. Rather than looking at you, he focused on tying it to the porch’s roof. “Even if I referred to men as in, you know, men,” he turned to you, a serious look on his face. “Why is it funny? Gosh, his cheeks were pinker than his lips. Such a lovely contrast on his sun-kissed skin.

“I dunno,” you pressed your lips tight, observing him. The garland hung a little skew and weak. “Sounds kinda funny when you call yourself a man,” you grinned and reached for the other end of the garland, holding it up for him. Jeongguk stumbled on the chair, swaying a little left but managing to keep straight posture. Perhaps the sentence sounded harsher out loud than in your head.

“That’s mean,” he said. Brought one hand up to brush his fringe out of his face, “I’m sixteen. Pretty sure I can call myself a man.”

“Yeah, and I’m two years older,” you watched him pin the thread to little metal loops. “Makes you a baby in my eyes, I’m sorry.”

Jeongguk turned to you, letting go of the garland. He looked offended. Managing to catch the garland and hold it up for him to take again, you said, “What are you doing? Take it.” Jeongguk didn’t move.

“Men, Jeongguk,” you said, putting the garlands down on the back of his chair, “are not butt-hurt.” You joined your arms on your chest and stared back. Jeongguk’s eyes narrowed. “This isn’t about being butt-hurt,” he mumbled.

“Let’s do this, yeah?”

He shook his head, “Go find a man to help you—”

“Are you fucking serious,” you whispered, “Jeongguk. Please.”

He threw you a meaningful stare. “Okay. You’re a man. Now let’s hang this and get it over with,” you lifted the thread from the chair and handed it to him. The balloons may have covered his face but you couldn’t deny the little flash of a grin he had on, thankfully, not blushing anymore. Happily, Jeongguk pinned the first garland in almost no time, dropping the previous topic.

Even if he wasn’t a man yet, he was a guy for sure.

Your mother’s voice woke you up from the hot summer’s gaze a few minutes later. There wasn’t much piece left to hang up when she called the two of you out to help her in the kitchen after you’re done, leaning over the sill of an open kitchen window, a large knife in her hand. It dripped with tomato juice.

Jeongguk struggled with a few last knots. He was so absorbed by the job, not leaving any of it to you, so you just stood and watched. You had to admit, Jeongguk was really growing up. Just a few years ago, you’d been driving him to school on your bike every day — he weighed almost nothing. He’d always looked very thin until some time last year. Now, you felt your stare glue to his arms. They looked nice. Very nice, yet not as nice as Taehyung’s.

“Hey, Jeongguk,” you asked, still watching him a little guiltily, “where’s Tae?” He glanced at you and answered nonchalantly, “Helping dad with shopping.” He finished and jumped off the chair. Jeongguk was a little taller than you, but the height difference was really not that visible.

“Let’s go?” He looked at you, “what now?” “The moms need our help.”

They really did. You went to the kitchen, where your mother and Mrs. Kim were cooking the goods for your birthday party. “We're done,” you said. “Now what?” Your mom put the knife down and turned to you and Jeongguk.

“Right,” she slapped her thighs with her palms lightly, brushing of the water off her hands. “Do you now Mrs. Clarke that lives down the street, at the suburbs?”

Of course you knew; that witch had dozens of apple trees, but would still scold you if you took a single one without asking. Even if it was rotten. The memory of that old lady running towards the gate with a greasy frying pan in her hands was as vivid as it was on the day she threatened to hit you and Taehyung. For trying to eat her apples. Even if, actually, you two were just passing by. (And stopped by her house to exchange some affectionate gestures.)

“Sure. Why?”

“Buy some of her apples, of course. You were the one who insisted on having an apple pie for the celebration,” your mother handed you a few banknotes, lips forming into an adorable smile. “Buy three bags. And take Jeongguk with you,” she nodded at him.

“Why?”

“Honey,” your mom sighed, “even if you're older, Jeongguk is still stronger. Physically. And I don't want you crushed by a few bags of apples on your birthday!” smiled and shooed you two out of the kitchen, “Go, go.” She didn’t see the pout on your face but Jeongguk was grinning, “Call me a baby one more time,” he whispered, teasing.

You rode bikes. And it was a damn good decision; not only it took ten minutes instead of thirty-five, but you cooled off, too, — on a hot day like this you might’ve melted. On the way, the wind was strong. Jeongguk was behind you.

Pleasant-smelling shampoos were his weakness; too bad you had one that was exactly like that. He was observing the tousling of your hair in the wind, which made him want to touch it. Even though, he was aware of the fact he’d never get to. He knew he would never get to hold you the way he wanted. He knew he couldn’t betray his brother.

Time went quite fast. You stopped in front of the witch's house. Mrs. Clarke was outside, sitting on a wooden, time-worn bench in her front-yard, underneath dozens of old apple trees, loaded with hundreds of ripened apples. She had a few black plastic bags next to her, full of those, too. You humbly greeted her, putting the bike down. Jeongguk did the same and followed you to the old lady's yard.

The lady wasn’t as mean. She must’ve been in a pretty good mood — handed you bags with the prettiest looking apples. Those were heavy and the previous thankfulness for choosing a bike evaporated — you definitely regretted the decision.

Jeongguk was kind enough to take two bags, giving you the last one. You couldn’t ride back (Jeongguk looked at you, dumbfounded. “How did I not think of this?”), so you walked. One hand on the wheel, guiding the bike by your side, other — clutching at a thin handle of a heavy plastic bag.

Fortunately, you didn’t have to walk that way long — Taehyung and Mr. Kim were passing by. They stopped in the middle of the street and beeped behind you, making both of you jump and turn around. Taehyung’s head popped out of the side window. He was grinning at you.

He shouted, “Need help?”

The three black plastic bags took their place on the backseat of Mr. Kim’s car. There was no more room for bikes, needless to say none for you and Jeongguk as well. You cursed yourself for the stupid decision again.

“Guk,” Taehyung said, reaching for Jeongguk’s bike, “I can take it.” The younger moved away swiftly, so Taehyung couldn’t, “No, thanks.”

“Hey, why?” The older looked at him. “Come on.” Jeongguk grinned smugly, “You two will have the whole night for yourselves, don’t worry.”

Your eyes widened and you reached to slap his shoulder. Instead — being the clumsy, typical you and tripping over your bike — you leaned onto Jeongguk, making him push Taehyung and hit the car with his back. Taehyung pushed him back away immediately, brushing the his jacket from invisible dust. He looked at you, slightly perturbed, “What was that?"

You steadied your bike.

“Nothing, I wanted to hit him—” “Taehyung, get in the car!" Mr Kim yelled. Taehyung spun around on his heel after throwing you a wink, "See ya."

“Thanks again,” you said, waving. Jeongguk took a grip of his bike and steadied it; he was ready to hop on and go. You flashed him a glare, “Keep those thoughts to yourself.”

“Why?” Jeongguk blinked twice, “Everyone knows it's gonna be your night. You're legal.”

“Jeongguk!” This time he was closer and you managed to slap his shoulder. He laughed, “Wow, that didn't hurt at all. You're weak,” he smiled and before you could say anything back, added, “Let's go.”

“Besides,” you mumbled rather loudly, hopping on your bike, “I'll be legal at, like, 6 pm” “Sure, whatever.”

Taehyung had taken off his jacket to reveal some video-game-themed shirt with zombies and blood on it. Not being able to take your eyes off of the red splashes, you coughed, trying not to gag or panic. This wasn’t even real blood, for goodness’ sake.

“Change your shirt,” you whispered. Taehyung blinked at you, confused, “What, why- this one’s new, is there a stain already?” You glared at him and Taehyung's eyes widened. “Oh, right. Sure,” he said, rushing out of the room.

You entered the kitchen to be met with a view of two women preparing the meal. The place smelled a little like cherry pie but you couldn’t see where it was. Your mother must've hidden it; the guests wouldn't be there until five and she must’ve wanted to keep it away from everyone. It was a little past midday.

Jeongguk turned to Mrs. Kim and asked if they have anything else they want you to do. The woman was focused on cutting the cucumbers for the salad. She lifted her head up and almost bumped into the younger boy's face. “Sorry,” Jeongguk mumbled.

“Okay, you two can cut up the apples,” she motioned at the table, where the apples lay in a huge bowl.

You were half done with the pile of apples when you cut your finger. Jeongguk noticed that, too, and immediately turned around to search for the bandage in the kitchen drawers. You glanced at your finger, dizzy.

The little crimson drop on top of it was growing bigger, filling the little line with same-coloured liquid. You felt like gagging.

Jeongguk took your wrist and dragged you to the sink. The water did wash away the colour red, but it didn’t wash away the sickness. "You okay?" He asked. You nodded and reached for the towel. But he took it down from the hook halfway and grabbed the paper towel instead. And wiped the water off. And then he put the bandage on. And you stood there motionless while he took care of you.

He was damn close. Too close, because when Taehyung entered the kitchen, his first words weren't asking if you two need any help. Instead they were, "What are you doing?"

"Y/N cut herself," Jeongguk said, but he was pushed away from you and Taehyung took his place swiftly grabbing your hand. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, just a bit nauseous. I'll be okay." Taehyung pulled you softly and sat you on the chair. "I'm okay." He kneeled down and blew on the cut. You felt the corners of your mouth twitch slightly.

"What happened?" "I was cutting apples and-"

"Taehyung," his mother turned to him to say something, but she saw the two of you. And the view was simply Taehyung holding you hand while kneeling. But it was enough to put a guarding frown on her face. "Can you two, like, take it somewhere else?" Taehyung jumped up and walked to the counter where his mother was working.

"Need help?"

She shook her head, "Go help dad with the barbecue, we have less than an hour left."

You noticed Jeongguk staring at you. He was leaning on the wall next to the sink, still at the same place where Taehyung had pushed him before. The black haired boy watched you with his eyes narrowed; that was a quite familiar expression he had, when he was annoyed or thinking.

Throughout the last few months when you started hanging out at Taehyung's place, you got to know the younger a lot — since he was always near you. You got the feeling that the boy liked you and it only made you want to tease him about it more. Just for fun.

Taehyung left the kitchen; then Jeongguk moved. Got back to his place and continued cutting the apples. "Hurry up, kids," your mother came in to the room with an empty bowl in her hands. "Marine called and said they'll be here in half an hour."

Marine was mom's and Mrs. Kim's friend; they met up once a week to gossip or so. But they would have to drive out of the town, because Marine had a mansion outside of the town. And a little baby, so she couldn't leave her place whenever she felt like it.

"I'm almost finished with the salad, let's go set up the table," Mrs. Kim said and slid the chopped pieces of cucumber into the bowl of salad. "Y/N, I leave the apple pie to you," your mom said while taking her cherry pie out of the oven. She waited for Mrs. Kim to finish and they both got out.

What irked you, was that Jeongguk even breathed silently. It also made you kind of uneasy; how come your breathing was so loud? You were glancing at him too often. "Be careful, you might cut your finger again," he said and looked up at you. "Why are you staring?"

"Nothing, I just-" An immediate pause after realising that none of the explanations in your head made sense. And then you tried to explain, but couldn't say anything. Why were you staring? "I don't know."

"Let's just finish this quickly," he squirmed in his seat and you bit the inner side of your lip.

”Do you not like being with me?"

He put down his knife. "I like being with you."

"Wow, that sounds like a confession," you giggled. Jeongguk’s expression was serious. After a pause, which lasted a little too long for it started to creep you out, he uttered, "Maybe it is?"

Now, it was your turn to put the knife down. "What?"

"I like being with you," Jeongguk repeated. You shook your head, "You can't say this." "You started it," said. "It's your fault."

"It's not my fault-" "It is your fault," he stood up from his chair. Hesitantly, he closed the few steps of distance between you and him. You sat stiff, eyes following him, now standing in front of you. So close, that his legs touched your knees and you didn't know how to react.

"Everything is your fault," he said, quietly now, and brought his hand up to your cheek. Jeongguk’s fingers ghosted over your skin. Even if a little part of you melted under the tips of his fingers and wanted for him to continue whatever he was planning to do, you were aware of the situation. That was your boyfriend's little brother you were talking about. He wasn’t someone you could play around with like this.

You slapped his hand away, "What the fuck, Jeongguk."He stepped back; his serious face was now replaced with a hurt expression. You hurt him. You shook your head; this was never even an option, there couldn't have been anything between the two of you. Even if you kind of had something for him.

With Taehyung it was simple; you two knew each other for nearly eight years, ever since he moved in nextdoor. Taehyung was talkative and cheerful; one of those kids that were never boring to hang out with. You had a crush on him ever since you two were twelve, but he liked a girl from his class. And so, including your first heartbreak, five years later came your first love. Because fortunately, she turned out to be a bitch and Taehyung grew to like his best friend more.

Jeongguk, on the other hand, was always the quiet kid. Every time you and your parents would come visit them, he'd stay in his room and never come out. Though on Thanksgiving or New Years, or your birthday, he'd come out of his little cave and exchange a few words with the outside of his world. You managed to get to know him a bit. He had always liked to listen to that music, k-pop or whatever. Since their family was from Korea and his dad's job only brought them to Oregon. Boy, they talked funny when you first met them.

Though, three years ago, you cut off any contact with the rest of their family (except for Taehyung), because you stopped eating dinner there. Your parents had separated and for a few months, mom was in absolute breakdown; she wouldn't come out of the house, unless it was work. Times were hard, but you pulled through and now she was completely fine without him. So were you.

"Let's just finish this, okay? Quickly," he plumped down on the seat. The situation was pretty thrilling and you couldn't help but wonder, what would've happened if you hadn't stopped him.

Jeongguk left the kitchen as soon as he finished his part. You were preparing the dough when you heard a knife hit the table behind your back. When you glanced over your shoulder, he was on his way out, pushing past Taehyung. "What's with him?"

You creaked a little smile, "We had a little argument, nothing serious." If Jeongguk were to hear that, he'd have scoffed. You felt Taehyung's hand wrap around your waist and him place his chin on your shoulder.

This. This was why you loved dating Taehyung. Most couples at your age were embarrassed about being this affectionate towards their girlfriends or boyfriends, and Taehyung was one of the other kind; the daring ones. He was all touchy with you and that was probably the reason why Jeongguk (and secretly, the others, too) had assumed what was about to happen tonight.

The only time when Taehyung didn’t touch you more than necessary was when his parents were watching. His mom was kind of skeptical towards your relationship; you could bet she wanted him to get himself a cute, petite Korean girl. Too bad.

Still, he'd manage to find any excuse or chance to slide his hand into your palm. Or play with the hem of your shirt under the table. Or pinch your thigh. Dozens of various little actions that filled your mind with the thought of him. Until you’d notice Jeongguk staring from the other side of the table. Then you were trying your best to stop him.

He put that stupid grin on your face whenever he skimmed over your skin; it drove you mad. "Y/N," he trailed off and took a strand of your hair curling it around his finger. "You look so good standing here," he whispered and jumped back when you turned around. "You sound like a pervert," you held up the stirring spoon in your hand. He grinned childishly and wiped off the flour from your left cheek. "You know, I wanted to clear some things up."

"Things like what?" Was he going to bring up your relationship? Somehow, you had a bad feeling. "Things like, I need to tell you this before whatever is gonna happen tonight. Just," he stepped closer and took the spoon away. He placed it on the counter; he was standing right before you, the tips of his shoes touching yours. "Things like," he leaned closer. His breath brushed your cheek.

Yes, this was about your relationship. No, it wasn't anything bad. You knew him and you closed your eyes. And what happened then was one of those moments. When you felt like he's the one. When you were already seeing things like white dresses and flower festoons, and huge cakes, and ladies smiling, and men with fancy tuxedos. And innocent colours. And if he stayed and stood beside you, you knew, you're going to make it until the very end. Happily.

He drew back. What felt amazing was the warm air in between your lips; it was warm, but colder than his touch. And that you weren't able to see his face, and he was probably not looking at yours, too. You felt him draw you closer, his nose nuzzling into your hair and him whispering, "I want to have you for so long, Y/N. Whatever happens, just know that I, Kim Taehyung, love you. And will love you forever. And in heaven or hell, or wherever the end takes me. Always. Keep that in mind.”

"Why do you have to be so cheesy," you laughed and he drew back. "Come on," he whined grinning. "I just set the mood and you had to ruin it," he pinched your cheek softly. "Did you eat apples? I could taste apple," he laughed when you hit him on his arm and jumped back. "Wow, so I'm ruining the mood?"

"I want an apple, too," he took a slice from the pile of the apples you and Jeongguk cut up earlier. "Anyway, watcha bakin'?" You turned around. "An apple pie."

"Obviously," he slapped his forehead and took another slice. "Don't eat them," you hit his hand with the spoon. It now had flour on it. "Ouch," he whined and shook it. "You seem to be hitting me a lot lately. I like it.”

"Stop being creepy." You bit your lip to hold the beam and then added mumbling, "leave it for the night." "What? I'm sorry? I'll stop being creepy after you do?" "Okay. I'm done."

"Great. Now, how can I help you, ma'am?" he offered his hand. You glanced at it and continued stirring the flour; and although you were always focused when you're cooking, this time, the dough wasn't sticking to the apples right. You sure knew the reason to that.

"Get me a glass of water."

Marine's family had arrived. Taehyung and Jeongguk's dad was struggling with the barbecue . The moms were welcoming the guests.

Marine had a baby in her arms. It must’ve been a girl, because the little had a yellow laced dress on. Her husband was still in the car, swiping the screen of his smartphone — he always had the latest stuff — and their eldest daughter, Hannah, was jumping around Mrs. Kim, telling her about what she got for her birthday. Because it just happened to be that you shared a birthday with the most arrogant and spoiled ten-year-old — well, now an eleven-year-old — in the neighbourhood Or the whole city, actually.

"...So, I told her, like, the baby is scared of the damn colour pink. And she still, like, bought a pink dress..." Marine was talking while your mother was intensively nodding at her words. Mrs. Kim was hopelessly stuck with Hannah, looking around and searching for help. Her eyes spotted you and you knew you're doomed, "Y/N, would you show Hannah the balloons?"

As if that girl was interested in balloons. Hannah looked at you and walked up, "Hey, Y/N."

Don't you 'hey' me.

"I wanna see the balloons." Where was Taehyung when you needed him? He was the children type; he liked Hannah and Hannah liked him. Platonically, of course. "That tree," you pointed. Jeongguk was also nearby, standing on the porch steps. You met his gaze and averted your eyes immediately. The boy was looking at you and when he realised he's sharing a stare, he quickly walked away. Gosh, this was weird now.

Your mother took the guests to the buffet table in the backyard. Taehyung was nowhere to be seen and you still had the struggle — Hannah. "Hey, show me your room," she tugged at your shirt. You turned around and almost hit her nose with your elbow. "Why?

"Cus I'm bored. Do you have, like, Lego?" "You play Lego?"

"Yeah, and LPS, but I assumed you wouldn't have those, since you’re old."

You refrained yourself from hitting her. The child was annoying. "Sure, let's go to my room. And by the way, I don't have Lego.”

"You're kinda lame if you don't, you know. I have, like, every set," and then she started blabbing about Legos and all the sets she owned. Or her mother owned. Or whatever, the point was that it was boring and you weren't listening. Your room was on the second floor and it was kind of messy. She looked around examining it.

"There are, like, no colours. It looks so boring," she walked up to your bed and placed a hand on it. "You said that last time," you mumbled. She pressed the mattress, "Gosh, how can you, like, sleep on a rock, like.."

She was talking just like Marine. And you hated it.

Hannah was touching everything. She even checked your drawers. And there was this thong. Your mom gave it to you once, the memory still made you cringe. It was black and with this little lace and- why did you even keep it? She held it up with two her fingers holding it with touching it as less as possible. You snatched it away from her. "You're a pervert."

"No, I'm not. You're just too much of a baby to understand," you showed her the tip of your tongue. She mimicked you back, "Whatever." Except when you did that, it was less ugly.

"So, basically," a familiar voice spoke up from behind and you turned around to see his face. "Everyone younger than you is a baby?" "Jeongguk-"

"No, I didn't come here to see you," he turned to Hannah. And just like she liked Taehyung, she liked his younger brother too. That was obvious from the sudden shy smile on her face. "May I escort this young Miss to the table?" He held out his hand and bended to her level. He was standing in the doorway and turned to you by his side when Hannah placed her palm into his. "Use that well," he nodded at the black thong in your hand and winked before leaving.

Your cheeks burned from embarrassment. The two had seen what you wished for no one to find out, what you didn’t even want to have. You shoved it into the back of your last drawer and got out of the room.

Your mother was on the phone in the living room. She hung up after saying her goodbyes and turned to you. "Auntie said she will come over on Sunday, she has work today. Tomorrow, when I'm gone, could you please tidy up the place a bit? I'll be home at Sunday, too."

"Okay, I will. When are you leaving?" She looked at the little clock on her wrist, "Ten p.m. I have a long way to drive to LA." Your mom walked closer to you and placed her hands on your shoulders. "Be wise, okay ? You're all grown up now," she caressed your cheek. You nodded.

The backyard was kind of loud. Music played through speakers that Taehyung had set up and people were chatting. Your neighbours from the other side of the street came, too. It was Mrs Hilton; she lived with two twin daughters. Then there was your friend, Vera. She was chatting with Taehyung. (And you kind of rushed towards them, because she was smiling at him a little too friendly.)

"Y/N,” happy birthday, honeybee!" She exclaimed noticing you and hugged you. She was sweet, but one of those people who ran their mouths nonstop. Also, the stupid nicknames. But Vera was a friend that stuck close to you and never talked behind your back while others did. That resulted in ‘others’ not being invited to your birthday party.

Marine was sitting next to you with the non-pink baby on her lap. The baby was a girl and she was 6 months old. She was tapping the table with her palms, making a mess just by accidentally touching a fork. Marine didn’t exactly keep an eye on her.

Then the baby noticed you. "What's her name?" You asked, but Marine seemed to be too into the conversation (something about red chickpeas and chilli soup) with your mother and Mrs Hilton. Taehyung tapped your shoulder, "I heard the baby's name is Viola."

"That's so mainstream," you whispered. He cracked a smile, "Did you know Viola is scared of the colour pink?"

"Seriously? I thought Marine was joking earlier," You looked around to see if there was anything pink. Viola was watching you attentively. You saw a pack of gummy bears and took one. It was green. You gave the baby a gummy bear and she started squeezing it. You turned to Taehyung. "Got anything pink?"

"No, and don't leave her with the gummy bear. She might choke on it.[44] [45] " He took a glass and poured some coke in it. The table was loaded with sweets and pies and other stuff the guests brought, but everyone was waiting for the barbecued sausages that Mr Kim, and now Jeongguk, too, were working on. It has been quite a while they started doing it, and you wondered what was taking them so long.

You felt a palm wrap around your hand. Taehyung.

He drew circles on your skin and you could feel his body shift next to yours, sliding a little closer, but not too much, so that if someone saw, they wouldn’t think of anything unusual.

It was getting on your nerves after a few hours. The whole party outside was buzzing. Apparently, some of your middle school classmates came and now they were dancing to this strange electronic music. You stood in the kitchen in front of the big window, with a glass of water in your hand, watching those people have fun. Your party.

The floorboards behind you creaked and you turned around to see Jeongguk. He was also getting water. “Hey.”

You hummed a little ‘hi’ watching him. The kitchen was dimly lit and you couldn't really see his face. Until he moved a bit closer. But even then, his face seemed emotionless, just like the voice he spoke in.

“Why aren't you at the party?” You shrugged. “Don't feel like it.”

He stood and stared at you. This was getting uncomfortable; a pair of dark eyes were following your moves, from the lift of your arm, bringing the glass up your lips to the hasty glance out the window that landed back on his face; looking like something was bothering him. Jeongguk cleared his throat.

“An important night tonight, huh?”

Your mouth parted to say something before you noticed the smug. This boy was making your life complicated. “You’re at it again? I swear to-”

“But seriously,” he’d cut in, “you two planned it?”

You swallowed nervously and silently mumbled, "So what if we di-"

The little sentence became unheard as someone shrieked in the backyard. You turned at the window instantly, feeling Jeongguk run up closer to it, too.

Nothing serious, just the dumb spoiled child called Hannah burning her finger by accidentally touching the hot grill. But the shriek you heard could be mistook for someone cutting their hand off; that's why you ran to help. Turns out, it's just this Hannah child fooling around again.

Marine went crazy and almost yelled at Mr Kim for keeping the grill on for so long. After the ruckus they caused, Marine and her family left to buy 'a gift for the poor princess." Mrs Hilton had to go, too. And since they left, the other guests took the hint from your face; you were trying so bad not to freak out. Especially after seeing that disgusting little brat getting spoiled once again.

There were only the Kims and your mom left and you were helping to take the leftovers back to the kitchen. The whole day, your head was filled with worries that something might go wrong, but when everyone left, you felt relaxed. You really weren't a fan of ceremonies.

Partly, because now there was something else. The growing anxiety in your stomach, threatening to burst whenever your eyes met Taehyung’s. Both of you knew what's coming. And although you could see the sheepish beam playing on his lips when he walked past, you had to admit that everything was not as exciting as it seemed to be for him. You felt as if the floor was about to slip from under your feet. Losing the grip of yourself, tapping your foot and squirming uncomfortably every few seconds.

Taehyung stayed the night. Of course he did, this was planned.

You were on the couch, watching TV. It was half past ten and the news were on. "Saturday will bring you some heat in the East Region, mostly California..."

The last ones to leave were Taehyung's parents. Mrs Kim had shot you a warning glare before turning to her son. They had him alone in the hall for a whole minute, exchanging series of whispers and along with Taehyung's uh-uhs and byes, then you heard the door shut.

"We're alone," Taehyung said walking into the living room. He plopped on the couch. You shifted to give him more space but he pulled you closer, "Don't you dare. I finally get to hold you like I want to, and you’re running away." You turned your head over your shoulder and smiled nervously. He looked at the TV.

"Perfect," he mumbled. "Are we seriously gonna watch the news?" asked. Both of you were looking at the screen. There was a lady with a microphone in her hand, somewhere in front of a building. It was dark there. "No," you snickered and reached for the remote. You pressed the red button and the screen went black, revealing two figures cuddling against each other in the reflection. You met his gaze and smiled, "There. Now it won't bother us."

He smiled and hummed. That made your heart race a bit faster. "I'm nervous."

"It's okay," Taehyung's hand brushed over your forearm. Was it hot like this in there the whole time or did someone turn the heater on? "Nothing bad is going to happen." You could hear that childish tone in his voice; the cute tone that made you smile every time. He ran his other hand through your hair and pushed it on the left side of your shoulders. You felt him breathing next to your skin.

Shockwaves. Lots of tiny dazzling marbles of shock were running up and down, right and left from every angle under your skin. He slowly pressed his lips to your neck and mumbled something. You were scared, freaking out even. A part of you wished to go back in time, at the party in the backyard, where Taehyung couldn’t get closer than almost, and you didn’t have to worry about your heart bursting.

But then again, it was only a part of you. The other half, however, couldn't be any happier about the whole situation. He was there, yours, for the first time in all these years of waiting. Nonetheless, no one could've intruded the moment.

You turned your head to the side to make him draw back from your neck. The place where he had pressed his lips was slightly hotter than the rest of your neck. You sat up and shifted so you were facing him. And he was smiling at you. Eyeing your burning gaze and cheeks, flushed with fever; the way your hands were curled into fists, holding the weight of your upper body, when you leaned closer to him, sinking into the soft couch along with your knees, when Taehyung's hand reached for your cheek. He cupped your face and sat up, too. His lips were inches away. The space in between pressing tighter as silent, erratic breaths came from both sides, and your eyes never left his. They glowed.

The moment he decided to lean all the way in, close the little gap in between, a faint ringing was heard. And it all crashed down. Taehyung muttered great and leaned back on the pillow, grabbing the phone from the coffee table. It was your phone, but he glanced down at the caller's ID before handing it over. You saw it, too.

“Hey, mom,” you answered. A slight disappointment could be heard in your tone. “Honey- oh wait, I didn't interrupt anything, did I?”

Taehyung scoffed silently and you almost giggled at his expression. “No, don't worry.”

“Okay, then. Look, I wouldn't have called you if I didn’t have a reason to, but could you do something for me?”

You glanced at Taehyung before agreeing. He had a blank expression on his face, staring at the black screen of the TV when you left the living room. Your mother told you to go to her room. You ran up the stairs, straight into her room. “Okay now, there's this folder with documents-”

Her voice at the end of the other line creaked and a loud crash erupted making you jump up and throw your phone on the floor. You eyes widened in shock and you squatted down to pick it up immediately. The glass of the screen was all cracked, but the call was ongoing. You brought the phone up your ear and plugged the other with one finger, to hear better.

To say that the other line was silent wouldn't be right. It was calm, but you could hear clicking and cracking noises in the background. No breathing, no talking. "Mom?" Your voice shook. "Mommy? What happened?"

It seemed like with every breath you took your voice got shakier and quieter. You kept calling her, your fingers trembling, almost dropping the phone on the ground again; when all of sudden you broke out, yelling "Mom!"

At the same time, a shout from downstairs was heard. At the same time, a silent whisper on the phone was heard. At the same time, both voices said your name. The call was cut off with a beep and the eerie silence filled the room for a bit. Until Taehyung yelled.

He didn't yell anything in particular. But his deep, loud voice was heard from down there and it was unusual for him to yell. Still shaking from the call, you rushed down the stairs to tell Taehyung that something was wrong. And something indeed was when you found him lying on the floor in the middle of the hallway.

“Taehyung?” You faltered, stepping forward hesitantly. “Why are you lying there?”

He wasn’t just lying on the floor. He lay, facing a dark puddle spread on lightlwood floorboards.

Your knees buckled and your throat filled up with everything that was in your stomach up until now. You let some of it out and wiped your mouth. Subconsciously, your body moved forward.

You found yourself in front of Taehyung, arms weak, trembling and holding the weight of your body as you choked. Blood always made you puke. And it lasted for a good minute until everything was out and you managed to crawl to him, touching his shoulder and shaking him. No response. You shook him harder. He lay motionless.

What you did next was hold in the second wave and turn him over. Instant regret rushed down your body when you saw his face covered in blood, a part of it obviously missing. His eyes were wide open, but lifeless and now you didn’t even try to hold it in. Trying to turn around, you threw up nothing but pure acid, coughing and gagging as you wiped your mouth with your bare forearm again, wiping it all on the jeans afterwards. Your eyes itched and a few drops dripped down onto his arm.

The silent cry spewed into a full-voiced sob mixed with coughing. You kept shaking the limp body of the boyfriend you had minutes ago. And as the realisation spread, as the fact settled deep in your mind, you found yourself bawling out loud without thinking.

There was a click and a growl that shut you up in less than a second. You gaze fell down onto Taehyung, looking for anything strange, any sign of life in his frozen stare. Instead, another thing caught your eye.

In front of you, approximately eight feet away, there was this strange creature standing. The way he stood, the way he looked was so strange. He was most definitely not a human, but your vision was blurred and you couldn't tell if you were seeing things or it was actually real. The thing in front of you growled hoarsely and you gasped, feeling your heart pound. That thing was covered in blood, strange shapes on its head and it was blocking the front door. Slowly, he took a step. You blinked twice, not knowing what to expect.

Did it hurt Taehyung? Did that thing do something to Taehyung? Your mind was too full to think clearly, the tears flowing without a break; the salty water burning your cheeks was the clearest thing to you right now. Something happened to Taehyung and you couldn't find yourself caring about the strange mirage your mind was creating in front of you. Everything seemed like a blur, every action and movement seemed false; this couldn't be real, for fuck's sake.

But it was. And you knew it was when that thing jumped in front of you and the thing that you assumed was it's head flashed right in front of your eyes while you just sat shaking, squeezing Taehyung's hand in yours.

You shut your eyes to get rid of the mirage but suddenly, you heard a gunshot. Forcing your eyes open, you saw that thing fall down onto Taehyung’s legs. You blinked twice and looked up, feeling the lump in your throat again.

He was holding a gun.

"Y/N, are you insane?!" He shouted.

The front door behind him was ajar; he had clearly just arrived and shot that thing. You nodded a few times causing the third wave rise up and you had to turn around for a bit. A moment later, Jeongguk's hands gripped both of your shoulders, shaking you slightly. You looked at his face, coughing and blinking to get rid of the blur. It wasn't gone, but you noticed the tears streaming down his cheeks and the pearly drops of sweat mixed with blood beading his forehead. His temple was bleeding, the blood smeared on his left cheek. This time you didn't puke. This time you were glad to see him.

Stuttering, you managed to tell him that something happened to Taehyung. You were trying to listen to him, too, when he talked afterwards. Instead, you focused on the faint sirens outside, tires squeaking on tarmac in the streets and people shouting and screaming and going mad. And Jeongguk told you everything.

"Mom and Dad are dead," he muttered, his voice trembling from holding in a sob too long, his arms wrapping tighter around his own waist. He was standing in front of you while you sat and stared at Taehyung, still waiting for him to wake up. Jeongguk noticed you shaking his forearm and glanced at his brother's eyes. He knew this look. It was the same look that dad had when Jeongguk found him on the floor, half of his face turned into mincemeat.

"Y/N," he squatted down and grasped your palm. You stopped shaking Taehyung's body and looked up at Jeongguk. The look on his face was what you feared. And you wanted to punch him for that.

Compassion. His face was full of compassion.

"Let's get out of here."

You shook your head, "No way. Call an ambulance or something..." he pulled you closer to him and lifted you by elbows. Taehyung didn’t move. "Let's go," he said, taking your hand and pulling you to walk along. "Wait, we have to wait until Taehyung wakes up," you whispered, choking on the sob and coughing as you walked further away from Taehyung. "Hey," Jeongguk mumbled. "Let's go." You could hear his voice shaking.

That wasn't much of a help, to have him become a little weak in front of you. But you did understand something.

Chaos.

The streets were full of cars. Honking, and yelling. People were freaking out. Sirens and announcements screeching through the speakers. Everything made your head heavier. Everything made your body shake.

Jeongguk was a shitty driver. He would stop in the middle of the street, even when there was some space in front of you. The engine would die every few minutes and every time it did, strings of curse words left the younger's mouth and he'd slam his fists onto the steerring wheel.

You sat still. Your mind wandered somewhere back in time, on the same couch in front of the TV, dim moonlight kindling flames in Taehyung's eyes. And how it all ended instantly. And how now it will never be the same.

And how now Taehyung was gone.

The feeling put you in this destructive mood. You wanted break someone's bones and scream, hit things until your knuckles bled and you passed out from fatigue.

Turned out, the thing in front of you back then was a -- to put in a civil way -- zombie. Simply, because they had a different name. The radio reports announced every few minutes; it was a virus. Or a fungus, they hadn't figured that out yet and the city was in panic. The country was in panic. The world was in panic.

"The number of confirmed deaths has passed two hundred. The Governor has called a state of emergency.” The reporter talked. Then there was an interview with a man; a citizen, who was there, “...There were hundreds and hundreds of bodies lining the streets...”

Jeongguk hit the stirring wheel furiously again. You were stuck in a traffic jam. “We'll have to stay in this now, there's no way around.."

Thankfully, those things weren't here. The reports said that the upheaval was in the city centre and you were driving to the opposite side, the suburbs. Where Marine lived. Except, you weren't going to her place. You were getting out of the city.

"My mom was driving to LA and it was almost eleven when she called." You said. Well, tried to say. It came out as a trembling, high-pitched squeal of what was supposed to be a sentence. Not something that was easy to understand. But Jeongguk understood.

The digital clock behind the stirring wheel read 2:33 AM when you drove past Marine's house. The radio was cracking madly and Jeongguk hit it. "This damn. Thing."

"Panic spread worldwide after a leaked report from World Health Organisation showed that the latest vaccination tests have failed.."

And then they ran out of fuel.

Jeongguk cursed, hitting the wheel and stomping his foot on the gas pedal, and you just couldn't hold it in anymore, “Can you stop hitting everything, for fuck's sake?!”

He glanced at you keeping his hands on the wheel. The car was slowing down and shortly, it stopped in the middle of dark road. The radio was silently buzzing in background and the two of you sat still watching the silent road with no signs of living.

"What now?"

The previous anger was replaced with misery and you felt like crying. Without holding in too much, you let it out.

Jeongguk only noticed after a good minute; when your shoulders started to jolt up and down and your breathing became uneven, he turned his head at your side and widened his eyes.

"Hey, hey… why are you crying?" He unfastened his seatbelt and leaned closer to you, grabbing both sides of your face and wiping a few tears with his thumb. "Don't cry."

You nodded biting your bottom lip, closing your eyes to stop them. He leaned even closer, bringing your forehead to his lips and pressing them against your skin. The position was very uncomfortable and your seat belt was digging into your neck , your chest, and still, you felt thankful, for he was trying to calm you down. And you did calm down, slightly. His warm palm slid down from your head and caressed your neck. Somehow, you managed to undo the seatbelt that was sealing you to the passenger's seat. It hit you shoulder while sweeping back to it’s place, but set you free nonetheless. And your arms found Jeongguk's waist, tugging at the hem of his shirt and pulling him closer. With his help, you two took each other into sort of an embrace and it calmed you down.

Twelve hours ago you thought of him as a baby. And now he was nothing but a man in your eyes, the glimpse of hope in this chaos. Everything had crashed down, but he was there, too. At that moment, he felt strong. At that moment, you focused on the feeling of being in his arms, helpless and small and he seemed to be determined to protect you. At that moment, he seemed like the only one who could do that.

And at the same moment it all crumpled down once again.

The sound of glass shattering erupted and some unknown force pulled Jeongguk back, his head hitting the frame of the side window. You shouted his name and jumped up grabbing his hand when he hissed, "The gun."

You didn’t catch it immediately, you felt the tears coming back again, suffocating you, not letting you think straight. But then you saw it.

That thing was behind him, ready to devour him any second. Your eyes searched for the dark metal, turning away from the bloody view in front of you; Jeongguk was hissing and groaning in pain, or was it the thing that let out those noises of moist growl. The gun was in the gap between the front seats. As your eyes spotted it, you grabbed the cold grip and held it up. Jeongguk hissed for you to shoot, but you were hesitating. What if you shot Jeongguk?

"I can't, I-I might kill you," your throat was sore and the tears were so, so close; you tried to blink them away. It worked for a bit. That thing didn't seem as bloody as the one that hurt Taehyung. Killed Taehyung. This one was more human-looking. But its arm was wrapped around Jeongguk's neck and it growled, and smelled of rotten meat and something else. "Shoot him-" Jeongguk choked and groaned in pain. You immediately pulled the trigger and a gunshot cut through the small space, deafening you for a few seconds. You drew back, hitting the window with your back, shutting your eyes at the bump. The shot took you by a surprise.

Silence.

"Jeongguk?" You whispered. The younger wailed lightly and you opened your eyes. "Good job," he breathed out. The view was.. disturbing. There was blood everywhere: on the window frame, the glass shatters and Jeongguk, too. His neck was covered in blood and one part looked especially bad. Almost as bad like that side of Taehyung's face back at your house. You shuddered at the vivid memory.

Reaching for his hand, you held in a sob and he smiled a bit. Jeongguk was panting, but he managed to sit up. He instantly gripped the bloody side of his neck, hissing in pain quietly. "Shit," he whispered, his eyes going wide. "What?" You whispered. "What happened? Are you going to die?" He stared at you and then grinned again. This time the smile was sad and full of pain. "I think I got bit."

You blinked twice and then pulled him closer to observe the wound. Your heart was pounding even harder than before—you were afraid you might lose the only person that was left for you to trust. "No way…” you whispered as you shook your head, unable to see clearly. His dark eyes were fixed on your face. He could see the misery in your eyes when you understood what it meant. He had a plan of course. He just thought of it, but he was sure it would work. Jeongguk took a deep breath before speaking up again.

"Shoot me."

You looked at him; pure horror in your eyes and mouth agape to curse at him for joking like this. Only to be met by a serious look and trust in his stare, his hand guiding your fingers onto the trigger of the metal you were too scared to let go of the whole time, bringing it up in between of the two of you. You swallowed the lump in your throat. It was strange how you wanted to puke, but nothing came out. There was nothing to come.

In any other occasion, you'd immediately find yourself puking over the slightest drop of blood. You hated blood and it made you nauseous, the thick texture of crimson liquid seemed so unnatural, so gross. This time, you couldn’t care less about the blood. Which was literally everywhere now. This time, you could only stare at his eyes, absorbing every bit of his features, that not only reminded you of the one you loved, but also made him incredibly handsome in his own way. And if you were honest, you'd be lying if you said you didn't love this boy.

It was always the silent scream, the hidden feelings. Jeongguk was always something, but you knew why he wasn't enough. Because there was also Taehyung. And if Jeongguk was something, Taehyung had been everything.

"No way," you whispered. "No fucking way in hell-”

"Hey, trust me." He breathed out, squeezing your hand and the pistol in it. "I saw my dad and my brother lying on the ground, bitten, and that thing with weird, bloody stuff on his head was the one at fault."

You sucked in a breath and one of his hands caressed your hair.

"And it bit my mom, too. And- and she was alive and she told me to kill her. And I didn't. But I don't want to end up like her, like one of them, so please," Jeongguk's thumb wiped off the ticklish tear on your cheek and he mumbled, "I'd rather die like this, please. Please."

You shook your head, trembling, whimpering. “I can't. I'd be alone. Don't leave me alone, Jeongguk—”

"You don't want me near you when I'm one of those things. Shoot me, now," the last sentence came out harsh and impatient, and it kind of scared you.

"But what am I supposed to do?"

He gulped. "I think there's a bike in the trunk, take it and go hide." "You think?!"

"No fucking time, listen to me," his voice shook. “There’s stuff in the trunk. We were supposed to go on a trip—”

"You're stupid, Jeongguk," you whispered biting your lips. They were close to bleeding and it hurt. But this hurt more. "Yeah, and I will also become that thing if you don't shoot me now."

"But what if your not even infected, what if," he gripped your cheeks with both of his hands, letting go of the gun momentarily. "Calm down. Listen to me. You run. And escape. And hide. And stay alive. Please."

"What's the point?"

Your voice was gone; a fragile whisper broke out when you spoke. You were shuddering madly, "I can't. I won’t." He placed his hands on yours and drew the gun closer to the middle of his chest. Your head was shaking harder than your whole body. Tears streamed down your face, you felt the sticky sweat between your fingers. "Trust me. I want you to live," he muttered.

And then he pulled the trigger.

lol sorry

8 notes · View notes