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Goosebumps: The Cuckoo Clock of Doom by R. L. Stine

In which felonies aren't punished, babies take public transportation with no trouble, and existential dread pervades a book for children.

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In which the once-derided television has some actionable ideas, Stoneybrook proves it's a fantasy world with an abundance of reasonably-priced homes, and Stacey takes orders from an inanimate object.

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In which a great classic is revisited, old women send old teenagers into old panic, and creepy children gonna creep.

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This week’s book summary and review features Ann M. Martin's The Baby-Sitters Club #22: Jessi Ramsey, Pet-Sitter, in which Jessi continues to excel in everything she does, the club is fighting again, and Stoneybrook has a new, cheap zoo for baby sitters to visit with their charges.

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In which Mallory wants pierced ears, identical twins wreak havoc on an unsuspecting music teacher, and richies go to an island where man is hunted for sport! Or an estate sale, I forget which.

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In which the protagonist is the most interesting Stine character, Santa is arrested, and retail is the real villain.

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In which Kristy kritiques the performance of a four-year-old, I gloss over long passages about sports, and mediocre boys continue to disappoint.

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In which a young boy should get a new hobby, his best-friend has a future as an accomplice, and we discover why Pluto isn't a planet anymore.

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In which a parent has the audacity of a mediocre white man, Kristy has a strange dream, and Claudia's hospital mate is two toddlers in a trench coat.

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In which frogs explode on contact, shrub-born boyfriends gesticulate wildly, and I count instances of the worst product placement.

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Starry starry night 💫

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In which Kristy is hilarious, Mary Anne returns from a ho-down, and I write a sitcom episode.

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In which a pair of best friends wander away from the group, a couple finds their place in the universe, and I make up the adjective "headfull."

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In which mild inconveniences indicate curses, the BSC goes spelunking in the creepy section of the library, and Mary Anne displays some sociopathic tendencies.

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In which a pair of young women kiss chicken feet but refuse to pick up a hammer, history is rewritten to be more palatable for a certain group of people, and I do a bad accent.

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In which Jessi learns American Sign Language, Stoneybrook gets a little more diverse, and Karen wastes food.