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Nothing quite compares to finding out your father knows all the lyrics of Mandy Goes to Med School by The Dresden Dolls.

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Every time somebody brings up Superman lately to criticize James Gunn, I emerge from the Kansas hills like: "He's just a guy from Kansas! He's just a guy from Kansas! He's just a guy from Kansas!"

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Ugh just got denied a refill on my Zoloft. Like dude I've been taking it for like 4 years and idk if it's even possible to abuse sertraline?! Like you'll give me Adderall but not this???

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I wish my great grandpa was alive so I could show him that tumblr post theorizing that the rapture happened and D B Cooper while falling from the sky was the only one to go. I think it'd kill him all over again.

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mary magdalene:

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My aunt hates when people have a lot of mirrors; she believes it's bad luck and like a portal for evil spirits or whatever. So ever since I've gone out of my way to hang too many mirrors in my house and it never gets old. Just got a big one and I'm so ready for her to see it on Easter.

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This looks exactly like my great uncle's house, like fr.

Can't hang out in your great-uncle's den anymore. Because of woke

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Somebody has had to have made a Superman edit to Every Step of the Way by Steve Walsh right?

That's such a Superman song.:

"And I'd fight the wars of nations if it brought somebody peace

Yes I'd fight the wars of madmen if I knew the fight would cease

But this ol' world never stopped turning when my mind was full of doubt

So I went on and played for a dollar a day and I sang this song straight out

Hey hey, every step of the way

Though your dreams can be real, don't let them slip slide away

Doesn't matter at all, let them do as they will

Someday you'll hear them call for you

Oh yeah, for you

When they call out your name say it loud and clear"

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It's 2025 and I just randomly heard a Patsy Cline song and got so emotional thinking about her that I cried.

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why are czech people so fucking hungry

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Parents really give the strangest nicknames. When I was little my parents called me 'mustard seed' and they both have no explanation for why.

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Ooooo damn it's a rough day to be a chiefs fan..

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Kendrick looking right into camera with a cheeky smile when he said “Hey Drake” was the sexiest half time moment of all time.

Can’t change my mind.

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Dad decided to drop new lore:

Apparently circa 2008 he was held at gunpoint by ICE because someone who bought a brake pad through a software he wrote tried to forward the package to someone in Iran...

Then he goes "Well once they realized we weren't terrorists they chilled out, I prefer them to the NSA."

This led to another lore drop about how, circa 2002, when he was a tech teacher, a student used a computer in the computer lab to email a death threat to the queen of England and the NSA showed up and took like half of the computer lab and never gave them back even though they never figured out who did it.

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Honorable Mentions:

-gaining an immigrant step-dad when I was 14

-coming out to my pastor only for him to come out to me in return when I was 15.

-Hiding an ear infection from my mom for a month –I knew we couldn't afford medicine– until she brushed my hair behind my ear and I flinched so bad she figured it out when I was 13.

-having an adoptive Cherokee grandpa that's told me stories my whole life and shaped my perspective of the world.

-having a teacher tell me my mother deserves to die because she can't work when I was 17

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Hahaha...

There's a Tuberculosis outbreak in my neighborhood... It's the largest outbreak in the U.S. since the 1950s............

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My mom's earliest memory is looking up to see her mother walking out of the bathroom backlit by the warm light. My mom told me she just remembers thinking that her mother was so beautiful.