anattemptowrite

[anattemptowrite]

Checking in, then checking out.

/September 26, 2021/

And I'm trying again. Trying to write. Trying to articulate my thoughts. Trying to calm my mind.

Installed this app on my phone to ensure that I consistently write. Maybe I will be able to follow through this, maybe I won't.

But one thing's for sure now...

I accept and acknowledge that I am a work in progress. I know I am not perfect, but I am more determined than ever to learn new things. I look forward to the future, despite things being blurry.

I am going to savour every moment, its ups and downs --- one step and one day at a time.

[anattemptowrite]

Aaand I'm back here, yet in quarantine. Hahaha.

See, i have promised myself to write here years and years back. So many things have happened yet I have done nothing yet 🥴😅

Here's to more attempts and courage to do things.

[anattemptowrite]

Passing Time, Decluttering the Mind

/August 23, 2018/

It is 11:48 AM when i started writing this.

I am alone in our office room, and i have so many things going on in my mind (again). I can’t seem to focus and I just felt I need to write my thoughts down. Funny coz I also tried searching for ways to declutter my mind, and yes, guess what?? It suggested to write down my thoughts, aaaaaand here I am!

There are so many things that needs to be done, and I don’t think I am fulfilling anything. :( My mind wants to doze off and/ or just read. How did I come at this moment in my life? *Sighs*

It has been almost 14 months since I graduated from college (and has started working) and I don’t know if there is anything happening - if I am still growing or just letting time pass by. Because maybe I hate the fact that one should let time pass by without becoming something, or at least growing towards becoming something or someone - of which my future self will be proud of.

I haven’t invested in anything except body fats and maybe a few months to my age. I sometimes become frustrated that I cannot do anything, that I feel so mediocre, so unworthy, and useless.

There are so many times in the previous months that anxiety kicks in, and I will not be able to focus at all. Hayyyy, when did life started to get this hard? Isn’t there any manual out there available to help me/ us navigate through life? Adulting is so hard and all I want to be is to be a kid again.

But as this entry ends, I hope my mind starts to be able to focus again because I have still have a lot to do and to finish this week. I guess I will really be true to my words to be able to write everyday or at least every other day, to be able to enhance my writing. Because after all, this is what I wanted to do!

11:59 AM

P.S. Dear Universe, please give me strength of mind, confidence, and courage of the heart to pursue this and to believe that all things will be alright.

[anattemptowrite]

For the nth time.

/July 10, 2018/

This is my nth attempt to actually write down my thoughts in whatever medium could be accessible to me. However, keeping a diary (a written one, seems to be hard at the moment).  I always put iwriting down for a day or two, until here we are, it’s already July 2018! (And I have been planning to do this since time immemorial! *cry face*

I am a fan of reading and books. Whenever I want to relax and take a break from the cloud of reality and toxicity of my life/ stressors, I turn to reading.  This is also my almost 3rd day without Facebook (deactivated my account for a while, and I think hmmm.. maybe I can manage?) This tumblr account is me, really doing what I should have done years, and years back. When our professor iduring my undergraduate years have recommended to me that I should write - when she learned that I am such a voraciolus reader). She said it coulld help me further hone my skills in articulating my thoughts, as well as writing and speaking what i think. In further analyzing and processing my thoughts and ideas, and well, maybe, to also build my very low self-esteem.

As a reader, I am also not an expert in remembering the smallest details in the books that I have read. I am really amazed by those who have the ability to do so (HOW CAN THEY DO THAT, RIGHT?!? OOR IS IT JUST ME? HUHU) All I remember was the most memorable parts!!! HUHUHU. Then nothing else. Maybe this blog will also help me or serve as a reminder of the books that I have read. They say giving book reviews enhances your articulation too. Hmmm. I really, really hope it will help me. 

To all the future writings that I will be able to do, and to share with you!  For self-care, and for the oozing creative juices that hopefully would come, CHEERS! :)))