ancient-frog-enthusiast

[ancient-frog-enthusiast]

I’ve seen talk about theriantheopy/being alterhuman can stem from trauma, which makes sense, but what I’m wondering is can trauma take away someone’s therianthropy?

Disclaimer if I seem to spread any misconceptions/misinformation with what I’m about to say please correct me (politely, preferably?) I’m just trying to describe and figure out my own experience

Also I’m gonna be vaguely mentioning trauma/my response to it so just like… read at your own caution?

Four or five years ago I was definitely therian. I had dreams, much more shifting than I do now, and thought of myself as a cat born in a human body. I hadnt even heard the term therian then, these were conclusions I drew on my own.

The thing is, various life events and traumas occurred around that time which caused me to essentially burry a lot of aspects of myself very deeply in order to protect myself. Here today I’m very happy with where I’m at in life and feel like I don’t miss much of myself from back then, but I’m also still unburying a lot and having a lot of conflicting thoughts about like “that part of me is dead and has to stay that way” but also “I enjoyed it once didnt I? Could I be that way again?”

And for the record it’s not other people I’m scared of it’s myself. I buried myself so deeply in self sabatoge and unhealthy coping mechanisms that I had to burry this and a lot of other “harmless” things (like maladaptive daydreaming for example) in order to drag myself out of it, and I’m scarred that if I indulge even a little in those old parts of me that it will send me spiraling again.

I just want to get rid of it to be honest

[ancient-frog-enthusiast]

I guess this alt blog has just become my place to rant while I try to figure out this therian/alter human/otherhearted stuff for myself ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I think I might be otherhearted, specifically a bobcat. The term therian doesn’t fit right because I don’t want to refer to myself AS a bobcat, but something about saying bobcat at heart doesn’t feel right either exactly so maybe otherhearted isn’t the answer.

I feel like I’m missing something here

Like bobcats are so me, and the phantom shifting is pretty hard to ignore (it especially happens when I feel strong emotions. Like when I get angry at someone, especially if they’re threatening someone I care about, I can suddenly just feel phantom ears flattening and my pupils turning into slits and fangs poking my lip and fur fluffed out.). But also I feel like I’m too connected to being human for the terms to fit me. I’m like a human that acts like a bobcat but is still mentally and physically human? A human with some bobcat tendencies?

Its a process I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

In other news, I started trying quadrobics and it was fun

[ancient-frog-enthusiast]

shoutout to alterhumans who want to roll in grass and play in dirt and leaves but also have sensory issues and feeling the grass/dirt/leaves on you especially sticking to your skin or clothes will make you cry. I get it. I get you 🤝

[ancient-frog-enthusiast]

I’m new to this area of the internet, but I’ve lurked here for quite a bit. I need some help figuring this out.

How does one figure out if they’re a therian or nonhuman or something else?

I think Therians are really cool, your gear is cool, QUADS ARE AWESOME, and y’all are just really nice people

This is the autistic side of me probably, but since I was a kid I’ve been insanely into cats (not so much anymore though). I can usually name a cats breed by looking at it, I have a pretty large knowledge of cat behavior and communication, and generally just know a heck ton about them. That’s normal enough I guess, but-

Where it gets… a bit more unusual is I also sometimes act like a cat I guess? It’s not that I feel like one exactly- I just feel like me- but I’ll do cat things like perching on things, the way I sleep/act when I’m tired, and my general body language demeanor. I also feel like I have phantom ears sometimes (usually it’s ears, but it’s also been tail, claws, and fangs less commonly).

I dont have dreams or memories of a past life and I don’t have body dysphoria. I do kind of have dysphoria in the sense that I really wish I could/want to communicate the way cats do (ear/eye/tail positions, and vocalizations) etc. I don’t get outside much, but when I do it’s safe to say I act more like I’ve seen in Therian videos (sorry if that sounds rude I’m not sure how else to put it) than other people (jumping around, trying to perch on things, and never ever following the path lol).

I’ve been called weird (by friends in a lighthearted way) on multiple occasions because my impulsive reaction to a lot of things (being startled, surprised with something that makes me happy, feeling contented, etc) with pretty cat like sounds. I dont even think about them they just happen naturally. I also may have spent way too much time as a kid teaching myself to hiss like a cat- I’m still pretty good at it but never do it at people because it’s, ya know, not very socially acceptable.

It also feels notable that yes I do own those cat paw socks and yes I love them, and yes I have a whole collection of cat ear hats that I wear nearly constantly.

The main thing that’s confusing to me is I don’t really wish I had a cats body, but I have all this other stuff going on. Also, surprisingly, cats aren’t actually my favorite animal.

Any input is appreciated ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[ancient-frog-enthusiast]

Nothing like trying to make an alt tumblr account with one of your throwaway emails just to find out that 2020 you had the same idea