and-if-i-could-be-yours

[and-if-i-could-be-yours]

Maybe there’s someone in this abandoned clown factory who can help us

[and-if-i-could-be-yours]

I used to trace stars on her back. I would map out imaginary constellations and whisper to her. Whisper comfort, love, affirmations; all the things I wish I could hear for myself.

I can't get the sensation of her t-shirt off of my fingertips; the sensation of her hair is ingrained in my palms. The once-comforting weight of her head in my lap now sits like a bowling ball, weighing me down and forcing me to stay rooted in nostalgia.

I can't hold her anymore. But until I find someone else to share my constellations with, I am left feeling everything as if it were her.

[and-if-i-could-be-yours]

You know the feeling.

That creeping itch to go back to it. To what's familiar and inviting. Despite the wounds that ache when you think about what they did to you.

Despite everything, I still think that I deserved it. That how they treated me was a reflection of myself and how I treated them. Old mistakes that I can never escape.

I can't help but crave it. The energy, the drama, the risk. Maybe I'm sick. The door is open and they're waltzing through it; I should be slamming it shut before they reach it. And maybe it'll be comfortable. Fun, even.

But in a few months, I will regret it. I will do what is best for my mental health and cut them off, and the cycle will repeat whenever I am at my best. I was warned of the wolves, watched them approach, and I still let them close enough to snap at my heels as I run.

At what point does it become self-harm to let people that I know will hurt me back into my life?

[and-if-i-could-be-yours]

share your favorite pride story?

[and-if-i-could-be-yours]

[and-if-i-could-be-yours]

[and-if-i-could-be-yours]

…THEY’RE CALLED T-SHIRTS BECAUSE THEY RESEMBLE THE LETTER T

[and-if-i-could-be-yours]

[and-if-i-could-be-yours]

things have changed. it is different

[and-if-i-could-be-yours]

Apollo & Hyacinthus 🌞🦢💏

[and-if-i-could-be-yours]

I love hijab Mohawks

[and-if-i-could-be-yours]

yall need to be nicer to victor frankenstein, post partum depression is no joke

[and-if-i-could-be-yours]

Conversation that Tumblr is not ready for:

A Vampire's fangs are also it's reproductive organs

[and-if-i-could-be-yours]

I love being around my friends and their partners. It heals something inside of me. I know, kinda weird, but seeing people be loving and affectionate with their partners is just so sweet. I'm worried it comes across as creepy, but I try to give them as much privacy as I can. I can't help it when my eyes drift to them, happy to see them so in love with each other.

[and-if-i-could-be-yours]

"just write a little every day" ok but what if i write nothing for 3 weeks and then suddenly type like i’m being hunted by god

[and-if-i-could-be-yours]

[and-if-i-could-be-yours]

"preferred name" "preferred pronouns" um NO? there's my real name and my real pronouns. apparently you are using some fake evil version?

usually im in favor of evil versions of things but yikes that's rank you skank