andeeamelia

[andeeamelia]

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A post shared by Andrea Amelia Acosta (@andee_amelia) on Jun 9, 2020 at 12:19pm PDT

[andeeamelia]

I wanted to take a moment to share just a part of my story. Some of you have been along the ride, many have seen and heard, while others of you know nothing about me.

I have been so blessed and encouraged by those of you who have continued to come along this chapter of my life. I think it’s only fair that I share a part of me in return for your support! I’m going to fast forward a little... in 2009 I got married, but then a disease entered our marriage...disease of alcohol. It took control and I was blind to see it was slowly destroying our marriage. He chose the bottle over me. We hid it for over 3 years, so when the secret was no longer a secret it was far too late. Alcohol led to the breaking of our vows and I was distraught. The damage had been done. I lost respect, I lost love and I lost trust. I gained bitterness, I gained pain and I gained insecurities...

I thought God had left me and I found myself in one of the darkest places and I couldn’t fight my way out. The pain, the heartache, the battle was too much to bare.

I’m going to to be very vulnerable for a minute...I no longer wanted to be present in this life. Depression set in and it invaded every part of me.

I had to make a choice for myself to keep on living.

It wasn’t till I hit rock bottom I realized I needed God to save me. He had never left my side, I just let the deep pain blindfold me. But He was there! He sent help! He blessed me with women that would love, encourage and challenge me daily. It was by His grace that I was able to pick myself up off the ground. Though I was weak, He was strong.

I lost the bitterness, I lost the pain and I lost the insecurities. I gained joy, I gained comfort and I gained confidence.

I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t fight the demons still.

However I have chosen to love myself and all my flaws. I’m finally accepting I will never be perfect, but that God loves me just the way I am!

[andeeamelia]

Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can become who you were meant to be in the first place.

[andeeamelia]

It’s crazy how something so insignificant (in my mind) can begin to make you think....make you discover...make you grow...make you realize....IT’S WORTH IT.

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I began to question my own intentions of entering this competition, WHICH is not a bad thing, but it made me dig deeper and the more I asked myself questions, asked God for discernment, the clearer the picture.

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There will always be OPINIONS, there will always be JUDGEMENT, there will always be DOUBT, there will always be MISUNDERSTANDINGS, there will always be NEGATIVITY....BUT let them TALK, let them JUDGE, let them QUESTION, let them DISAGREE, let them TEAR ME DOWN!

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I choose to stay committed.

I choose to be honest.

I choose to love.

I choose to be strong.

I choose to inspire.

I choose to be authentic.

I choose to be kind.

I choose to stand firm in my beliefs.

NO MATTER WHAT I will not DOUBT MY WORTH or the BEAUTY of THE TRUTH.

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I’M GOING TO KEEP DOING ME.