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The Impact of Homelessness We are not criminals, we are victims of a flawed system & society

There are two types of homelessness: 1) someone who is living rough either on the streets or under canvas. They have no where to go and often no one to help them. 2) individuals who are without a home but are either in temporary accommodation, B&Bs or lodging/sharing with others while having to put goods into storage. Neither situation is acceptable and carries with it a host of emotional and physical problems which can affect mental and physical health over the long term. The problem we have in society is a lack of understanding on how this feels, what it can cause and the misconception that somehow it is the fault of the individual: If you’re on the streets, you must have deserved it, or you must be on drugs or you haven’t worked hard enough. The consensus being that you are there because you ‘choose’ to be and If you are in temporary accommodation or lodging, you should be ‘happy’ about it because at least you have a roof over your head. Even in that scenario, you can be labelled as ‘responsible’ for the situation you are in. No blame whatsoever is placed at the doors of councils, private landlords or the people who make policies.

I understand it can be difficult to conceive what it must be like to be in this situation if you’ve lived a safe and comfortable life in one or two homes, but don’t assume just because you have that life now, that it will stay that way. You may be lucky and not have to suffer any issues which could force your personal situation to change so much that you lose everything, but that can change in a blink of an eye and you should never take it for granted. And the more you ostracize or demonise people who are going through this situation (Not to mention the few charities that help them), the less likely you are to receive help when you need it because you are the reason services get decimated.

I will ‘try’ to explain what it feels like to be in these situations. I have had the misfortune of going through it a lot. It has affected my mental and physical health badly which will take years to put right.

I have been ‘technically’ homeless 5 times (currently at no.5). I came very close to sleeping rough at least once (In a car). I have had to move a minimum of 30 times in my lifetime. Many people stay in the same house all their lives so have no comprehension of this. But here’s the thing: I don’t do it out of choice! I want to stay in one place, have security, safety and my personal belongings around me. I know if I had that I could learn to sleep again, feel comfortable and relax more but I can’t. We are not all born into safe, secure and loving homes. Many of us leave home at an early age to escape the horrors of it.  We don’t all have the same chances in life or partners to fund our existence. We have to do it alone. And sometimes, other things can get in the way of your desires: parents that need caring for, single parents because one disappears, health problems, lack of money. The list is endless. The ‘choices’ that you have are not choices at all. Example: You’re in a house where you’ve struggled to survive for a few years then the landlord wants to sell the house or needs to move in themselves. You can’t afford to move again (The cost of moving in private rentals including rent advance, deposit, fees, removal costs can be a minimum of £2000 upfront) so you are ‘forced’ (whether you want to or not) to make the landlord take you to court to evict you because the council won’t help you until then (And then it turns out, they still won’t help you). This process is not only costly for the landlord, the fees are then put on you. And then, the court gives you a date to move out, but the council says if you move out on that date, you are making ‘yourself’ homeless so they won’t help you. You have to ‘wait’ for magistrate bailiffs to come around and force you out, only you don’t know when that will be and are ‘expected’ to just be able to arrange for all your goods to be moved on the same day! And then the council still won’t help. If you have children, you might be ‘lucky enough’ to be shoved in a hostel or B&B. If your single, like me, you’re on the streets. That is not a choice! In many cases, people are taken far away from the places they know and are forced to live in strange communities or places they would ‘never’ choose to live in ordinarily. And then there’s your furniture. Where do you put it? I had to put mine in storage. I picked the cheapest I could find but even that was almost £200 a month and for over 6 months. I have lost my worldly possessions due to circumstances like this. My bed, my sofa, washing machine, fridge freezer, table, kettle, toaster: all gone. Things most people take or granted. The rest of my goods are in boxes scattered over 2 properties. I’ve lived out of suitcases since August 2016. I don’t have a home. I live in a house, yes but I don’t have a home. My emotions are difficult to describe but I will try. It feels like life has been sucked out of me. Every time something else happens, a little bit more is sucked out. Positivity and strength start to disappear and all you want to do is disappear. The basic needs of feeling safe, secure and stable are gone. Yes, its OK for other people to ‘assume’ that you have these things just because you have a roof over your head, but you don’t. There’s more to it than that. You lose your independence, your security, your personality. You lose yourself completely. You have no control, and no one listens to you. There is just an expectation that you will be able to get ‘a new home’ again with a click of a finger but real life does not work that way. If, like me, you lived independently from the age of 24 to 40, living back with other people is the hardest thing to do. You become stifled, full of anger and rage. Not at those you live with, but at everything. In fact, there are just too many emotions on here to even be able to describe the feelings you are left with. And I am one of the lucky ones: I am the ‘housed’ homeless. I came close to being an outdoor homeless person. Very close. I think at that moment, I would no longer have existed. Sure, I’ve worked, I’ve trained, I’ve studied but have never earned enough to be able to afford to save money. You see, this is one of the major flaws of todays world. Unless you have wealthy parents or two incomes, you have nothing. And even those with two incomes struggle. I’m hard working, I have a degree, I’ve often worked in areas that I otherwise wouldn’t have just so I can afford a loaf of bread, but always under a cloud of insecurity and a long-term health problem exacerbated by the stress of having to move around a lot, not sleeping and basically working hard just to stay in poverty. It is soul destroying and one day, I will give up. I am close to it now. Occasionally you get a beacon of hope but it dies as soon as starts. I did get a job. My dream job. It paid well but I was too far away from it and couldn’t afford to move. You see, I’d have to save almost all my wages every month for a minimum of six months just to put a deposit on a rented place where I have to share with other people, but my travel costs alone took nearly all of my wages. Then my health got in the way (again). So, I’m back to square 1. I’ve applied to hundreds of jobs in a very short space of time since. I got 1 interview: once again in place that is a 3-hour commute away. But nobody wants to help pay for your relocation costs! I had to give that one a miss. So, here’s an idea Britain. Instead of marginalising certain members of the public of whom you know nothing about regarding circumstances, maybe you should start helping people get back on track and drop this, “deserving” and “worthiness” crap. If someone is offered a job, the council should help that person move to that location either by supplying a council property or helping fund rent/deposit in advance for suitable private rentals. And If you want homeless off the streets and want to declutter your B&Bs, start providing council homes and make rents fair instead of focusing on all this ‘affordable’ homes rubbish! They are anything but affordable and still focused on the private market which most of us will never be able to go into.

Society is to blame for homelessness. The Government is to blame for homelessness. It is rarely the fault or choice of the individual. I know I certainly don’t choose to live this way. I have no choice.

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The Business of Showbusiness

The Business of showbusiness

Having celebrity status seems to be a ‘career’ choice now and I wonder if those who peruse it have any idea what the ‘job’ entails? I won’t give any ‘named’ examples as that would be mean, but there are some people out there who, perhaps, shouldn’t have the job.

Even as far back as the days of the original brat pack (Sinatra etc), celebratism (my new word) and all the responsibilities that came with it, existed. You only have to look at the word, ‘showbusiness’ to understand what it is and what you are going into. It’s a business. And like most businesses, you are providing a service which customers pay for either directly or indirectly. As such, you are subject to more scrutiny than anyone else. This is especially the case if you are ‘preaching’, doing ‘power talks’ or claim to represent a certain ethical stance through charities or other causes.   And let’s be clear, this is a choice. It’s a vocation. A job. And there’s enough information out there to know what the pros and cons are of the ‘business’. But as with all businesses, you get your ‘wannabes’ and fake practitioners which not only bring the profession into disrepute, it can also be very damaging to the individual and any charity they support.

There are those who are born into the business. They have parents or siblings who are practitioners. They may have a good grasp of what it’s about, which could be an advantage but at the same time, this ‘privilege’ (If that) can give the individual a false impression of entitlement. Either way, they are often used to the practice of maintaining a certain sense of client care but when that fails, it does so epically. Then there are those who ‘work’ at getting into the business for the love of it. They want to showcase their talents or have a love for the stage and performing. They know there are two sides to the business and they deal with it well. More importantly, they have excellent customer service skills. They recognise the value of their supporters without which, they would not have a ‘business’. Regardless of your own personal issues, maintaining an outward impression of approachability and friendliness is essential. ‘You’ are your marketing tool. I have been an ambassador for a large company: front of house. No matter what personal issues I was having behind the scenes, my priority number one was to promote the ‘brand’. You cannot do this if you scowl at people, hide away and don’t communicate. Its not good business sense and its not good showbusiness sense.

Then there’s the ‘wannabe’. I don’t know if this is the worse kind because there are good and bad examples from all ‘types’ but this is the one that irks me the most. The wannabe is someone who claims they don’t want fame and all of its trappings but in reality, they do. They want all the benefits such as notoriety, the women (or men), the money, the influence it gives them and to promote whatever it is they feel is worthy of ‘fame’ status but they don’t want to mix with the commoners: the customers. They claim they want to be treated as ‘just a normal person’ but then alienate themselves from the very people who give them a platform for their skill. They hide behind a wall of secrecy, not wanting to give anything away but then go out to the public and preach about being honest and open and how we all need to do this and that: often things they don’t even do themselves. They are often highly narcissistic but not in a good way. They do not have the tools to deal with the complex nature of the business. Ultimately, they are the reason for their own demise. They didn’t market themselves well. You see, like any business you need customers, happy ones. They are the ones who keep your ‘franchise’ alive. These customers may want to meet their ‘idol’: someone they wouldn’t ordinarily come into contact with, and we all have idols. It never ceases to amaze me that someone in showbusiness can be shocked they have ‘fans’ that want to meet them, have pictures with them, talk to them and tell them how they’ve inspired them yet in the same breath, they will react the same way with ‘other’ celebrities that they admire. Last time I looked, celebrities were not different entities: they are still just people! Would they like it if the person they admired shunned them or spoke to them in derogatory ways? I think not. If you are rude to, ignore or distance yourself from the very people who helped promote you and who pay to see you (i.e allow your ‘business’ to run), you will find yourself on a very fast moving and steep roller coaster which only has one direction: down. And it is very hard to climb back up from that once you hit the bottom. Sure, longer standing celebrities can probably recuperate. They are ones likely to have been in the business for a very long time, and were often born into it. But for the rest, the damage is done. So, just remember that when you fight so hard to be noticed in the showbusiness world, you better make damn sure that you can handle the demands of your customer base and can be a strong ambassador for your cause. Without this important marketing factor, your fame and all the benefits of it, will be very short lived.

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Selfie revolution reduced photo fear.

The selfie revolution reduced my photo-phobia

I hate having my photograph taken. There are many reasons, including low ‘self-image’ esteem, body dysmorphism, ‘really bad’ camera angles and lighting, so I tried to avoid the practice as much as possible. I’d hide behind people or refuse flat out to allow my picture to be taken. I have seen many pictures of me and my thought was, If I look like that, no wonder I am still single and no wonder nearly all men I met were repulsed (Which they were eager to tell me). I figured I must be despicable. I’d see pictures of other women and see flawless skin, feminine faces, well-toned bodies and delicate features and wished I had such a ‘features’. Instead I was ‘blessed’ with a wide frame, a masculine face, an evil grin and protruding chin not to mention the shopping trollies under the eyes (I’ve graduated from ‘bags’). But then something happened: ‘selfies’. I admit I was behind with this technology due to restraints on finances, but I eventually obtained a phone where I could utilise this function: It even had apps to filter photos. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a start. I couldn’t change the structure of my face (I am stuck with that unfortunately), but I could filter out those flaws and features that I fight daily to minimise with a billion different types of make-up products (I could be a professional tester in all honesty) and I finally started to feel a bit more confident about ‘the camera’. Of course, I still had major anxiety attacks every time someone mentioned having a non-selfie photo as I couldn’t control my stupid facial expressions and was always repulsed with the image. I just didn’t look like I do in the mirror. But then, a good friend of mine took me to Italy for a short break. We visited beautiful Venice, Pisa and Florence. Again, I refused to be in any photos, opting instead for just pictures of the stunning scenery. While in Florence, we visited a place which put all my image phobias into perspective. A place I highly recommend. We went to the Leonardo Museum in Florence (Not DiCarpio but I would happily visit that too). Within this amazing museum of inventions is a little room of mirrors. This is not a hall of crazy mirrors (which ‘intends’ to distort images), they are just standard, full length mirrors but in each one, you can see it is slightly different. Then you read the explanation: “Every mirror, when it is made, is stretched which produces microscopic differences. Add to that the thickness, light and angle of the mirror, you will get a different reflected image each time. Cameras have the same effect: each lens is slightly different, which distorts what you are seeing. Add to that the angle at which the picture is taken and the lighting, you can have a false image of what you look like. It can make faces look fatter, longer, bigger or smaller and can amplify features which, when looked at without a camera, are simply not there. Its pure evil (I added the evil bit). And another interesting fact came about from this visit: If someone took a clone of you and that clone stood in front of you, you would not recognise it as ‘you’ as your own perception of yourself is very different than how others see you and what mirrors reflect. I certainly came away from that feeling more confident about the camera though I still have a slight phobia and will try to avoid non-selfie photos. Since then, phone/camera apps have come along that have enabled me to airbrush, filter and even turn my face into a cartoon (It already was one, but these versions are much better) and I’ve been having a field day ever since. So, don’t ever assume that someone is vain just because they take lots of selfies. More often than not, it is because it’s the one thing they can control which doesn’t make them look like a reject from a swamp!

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Ethical Business

UK: Forget living wages and minimum wages, what we need are wages that reflect the cost of living overall: even a ‘living wage’ is often not enough. And we also need to be rid of this despicable practice of paying under 25s less money than over 25’s: they are doing the same job for goodness-sake and they have to live in this expensive country too.  If businesses cannot adapt to financial climates by utilising useful business models such as PESTLE and SWOT analysis, then maybe they shouldn’t be in business? Businesses are not, and should never be, just about making money for the business owner: this is the wrong attitude to have. Yes, you need to make a profit so you can live too, but more importantly, you should be aiming to provide the best possible service for your customer base, providing a service to the public at large and provide a place for people to work that provides more than the basic requirements of Maslows Hierarchy of needs. Your workers are doing you a service as they are doing the jobs that you can’t do or don’t have the time to do. Paying them a wage that barely lifts them out of poverty is not how you motivate, encourage or be thankful of your workforce. I have seen businesses that offer to pay over £20K a year to their cleaning staff, and rightly-fully so but I have then seen jobs where employers are asking for assistant managers and they’re barely paying £18K a year (I got paid more as an auxiliary). There’s just no consistency. This is 2018, not 1998. And they wonder why the position doesn’t get filled or when it does get filled, the person doing the job puts a lacklustre performance into it. There’s no passion. And why should there be when you don’t reward them for the work they do? So here is a note to all business owners: if you insist on paying people peanuts, don’t expect them to give you anything more than fragment of a shell back in performance or respect. If you want people to help your business succeed, you have to respect what they do, how they get there and what they do to get there. Employees need to know they are valued and respected and they need to know work they do means something. Without that, you have high turnaround and poor customer service which ultimately ends up costing you more. Wages need to rise with the cost of living throughout the UK. And as for that rising cost of living: It has risen thanks to the fumbled free-market system where top business owners would rather hoard the money they receive in off shore accounts and avoid or evade paying taxes rather than put it back into our economy or to their workforce: the same business owners that are making costs rise in this country including transport, housing and fuel all the while making you, the low paid and unappreciated employee, pay all the tax and bear the brunt. Its time they reciprocated. And if they don’t do it willingly, maybe they should be forced. #ethicalbusiness