anduke

[anduke]

[anduke]

I have written a considerable amount of mean muses in my days for someone who cries every time she has to be assertive 🤔

[anduke]

That beauty. 🌹

[anduke]

LIV TYLER | photographed by Lara Rossignol, 1995.

[anduke]

“ i can’t let myself go under . ”    (  @yllwbird​  )

                     She     realizes,     much     to     her     dismay,     that     there     is     no     amount     of   pretending     she     can     muster     up     at     the     moment     –     Heather     Chandler     never     sugarcoated   things,     she     didn’t     know     how     to,     and     that     carved     out     her     ruthless     reputation.     But     Chandler     is     dead,     and     Duke     calls     the     shots     at     Westerburg,     and     even     then,     she     finds     herself   unable     to     say     a     thing     –     of     any     kind,     either     a     harsh     truth     or     a     saccharine     lie.

                    She     doesn’t     know     how     to     comfort     people,     not     really     –     it’s     not     something     she     knows     from     back     home,     not     something     that     comes     out     naturally     from    her     like     it     does     with     Macnamara.     Furthermore,     Heather     has     no     desire     to     comfort    anyone     at     all     (     it’s     a     dog     eat     dog     world,     Chandler’s     frozen     corpse     rotting     inside     a     coffin     is     clear     proof     of    it     ).         and     it     angers     her,     beyond     anything     else,     that     Macnamara     feels     the     need     to     perpetually     remind     her     of     Chandler’s     legacy     through     her    constant     wailing     and     sulking.     Because     she     didn’t     wail     and     sulk     when     Chandler     came     right     for     their     throats     –     what     has   changed     now?

                            They     should     all     be     celebrating.

                 “     look.     i’ll     say     this     once.     just    once.     for     old     time’s     sake     or     whatever,     ”     she     slides     off     to    the     ground     the     same     way     the     other     girl   is     sitting,     with     her     back     against     the     side     wall     of     the     girl’s     bathroom,     and     Heather     acknowledges     it’s     not     the     first     time     they’ve     been     like     this     –     it’s     not     the     first     time     she     sits     on     a     cold,     empty     bathroom     in     between     periods;     yet   this     time,     it’s     not     her     spilling     her     literal     guts     out,     and     it’s     not     Macnamara   holding     out     her     hair     for     her,     “     heather     chandler     was     a     goddamned     cunt.     kurt     and     ram?     they     were     wastes     of     space    in     this     school     –     and     after     all     the   shit     they’ve     pulled     out,     you     should     be     celebrating     that     the     three     of     them     are     dead,     ”     for     once     in     her     life,     she     speaks     with     raw     honesty,     bitterness     that     nobody     has     really     seen     because     she     never     let     it     slip     through,     “     so     if     you’re    gonna     be     weeping     about     something,     it     better    be     your     squad’s     routine     being     botched     or     something,     because     none     of     those     three     deserve     anyone’s     tears.     not     yours,     not     mine.   ”

[anduke]

❥    𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐊 ,   𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐀𝐋𝐁𝐔𝐌    ( 2020 )     [   𝚂𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚂    ]   .

sentence starters inspired by various lyrics from songs of blackpink’s   the album !!   some lyrics have been slightly modified to be more usable .  change gendered language   &   add context to your needs .  happy roleplaying !!♡

“   i  crumbled  right  before  your  eyes .   ” “   i  hit  rock  bottom   &   sunk  even  deeper .   ” “   i  tried  to  grab  onto  that  last  bit  of  hope  with  both  of  my  hands .   ” “   while  looking  right  into  your  eyes ,   i’ll  kiss  you  goodbye .   ” “   laugh  all  you  want  to  while  you  still  can .   ” “   it’s  about  to  be  your  turn .   ” “   how  you  like  that ?   ” “   look  at  you ,   now  look  at  me .   ” “   i  want  what’s  mine .   ” “   i  feel  bad  for  you ,   but  there’s  nothing  i  can  do .   ” “   with  a  smile  on  my  face ,   i’ll  kiss  you  goodbye .   ” “   that  day ,   i  fell  without  my  wings .   ” “   you  should’ve  ended  me  while  you  still  had  the  chance .   ” “   you  deserve  a  treat .   ” “   i  know  that  my  heart  can  be  so  cold .   ” “   i’m  sweet  for  you .   ” “   you’re  the  only  touch  that  gets  me  melting .   ” “   you’re  my  favourite  flavour .   ” “   we  seem  similar ,   but  we’re  different  down  to  our  bones .   ” “   i  was  born  a  skinny  bitch .   ” “   i’m  quick  to  read  the  room .   ” “   i’m  a  bitch  you  can’t  manage .   ” “   i’m  pretty   &   savage .   ” “   you  better  run .   ” “   if  you’re  mad ,   stay  mad .   ” “   we’re  not  alike .   ” “   your  jealousy  is  a  problem .   ” “   maybe  i’m  the  problem .   ” “   even  though  i  always  smile ,   i’m  not  weak .   ” “   i  wish  you  would .   ” “   the  harder  it  storms ,   the  higher  i  fly .   ” “   i  got  nothing  left  to  say  to  you .   ” “   if  you  really  want ,   i’ll  show  you  some  attitude .   ” “   everyone  knows .   ” “   look   at  me ,   i’m   so  pretty .   ” “   tell  me  where  you  wanna  go .   ” “   i’ll  meet  you  with  my  bags  at  the  door .   ” “   take  me  to  your  paradise .   ” “   i  don’t  want  to  wait  anymore .   ” “   you  want  to  touch ?   of  course  you  do .   ” “   i  know  you  want  to .   ” “   you  said  you  want  to .   ” “   i  bet  you  want  to .   ” “   something  about  me  is  taking  you  higher ,   and  you’re  never  gonna  come  down .   ” “   i’m  lighting  your  fire ,   and  it’s  never  gonna  go  out .   ” “   love  has  trapped  us  in  a  windowless  room .   ” “   i  long  for  love  even  though  it  hurts  me  every  time .   ” “   i  just  need  you  in  my  life .   ” “   you  can’t  end  this  love  on  your  own .   ” “   i’m  nothing  without  the  pain .   ” “   i  was  born  to  be  alone .   ” “   why  am  i  still  looking  for  love ?   ” “   love  is  a  drug  that  i  quit .   ” “   no  doctor  can  help  when  i’m  lovesick .   ” “   love  is  killing  your  darling .   ” “   i’m  happy  with  this  pain .    ” “   you  pity  me ,   but  i  pity  you  for  pitying  me .   ” “   everyone  eventually  leaves .   ” “   i’ve  been  known  to  kiss   &   tell .   ” “   i  send  girls  to  wishing  wells .   ” “   if  you’re  mine ,   i  want  you  to  myself .   ” “   i  know  i’ll  have  enemies .   ” “   i  don’t  care ,   i  got  what  i  need .   ” “   you  need  to  get  with  the  program .   ” “   don’t  go  there .   ” “   i’ll  make  sure  you  get  left  before  you  can  leave .   ” “   i  saw  you   &   knew  what  i  was  trying  to  do .   ” “   i  had  to  play  it  real ,   real  smooth .   ” “   i  went  crazy  over  you .   ” “   feels  wrong ,   but  it’s  right ,   right ?   ” “   would  clean  my  mess up ,   but  i’d  rather  mess  it  up .   ” “   simple  is  so - so .   ” “   don’t  you  know  i’m  loco ?   ” “   you  can’t  blame  me .   ” “   give  me  all  you  got .   ” “   love  me  like  crazy .   ” “   i  love  you  crazy .   ” “   kinda  sad  that  you’ve  always  been  like  that .   ” “   you  see  me  making  waves ,   and  you  don’t  like  that .   ” “   you’re  stressing  over  nothing .   ” “   while  you’re  getting  angry ,   i’ll  just  kick  back .   ” “   only  thing  i  think  about  is  big  stacks .   ” “   you’re  wasting  all  your  time .   ” “   i  can’t  relate .   ” “   no  drama  in  my  life .   ” “   you  aren’t  worth  my  love  if  you  only  love  to  hate  me .   ” “   i’m  taking  back  what  you’ve  taken  from  me .   ” “   you’re  mistaken ,   honey .   ” “   if  i  needed  you ,   i’d  have  you .   ” “   cupid  was  stupid .   ” “   you  wouldn’t  do  it  if  it  wasn’t  foolish .   ” “   stupid .   ” “   on  the  days  i  force  myself  to  smile  brightly ,   why  is  the  night  so  much  darker ?   ” “   i’ve  heard  enough .   ” “   i’ve  heard  enough  of  the  things  that  i’m  not .   ” “   even  as  the  whole  world  changes ,   it  feels  like  i’m  still  the  same .   ” “   you’ll  never  know  unless  you  walk  in  my  shoes .   ” “   everybody  sees  what  they  want  to  see .   ” “   it’s  easier  to  judge  me  than  to  believe .   ” “   i  don’t  really  know  myself .   ” “   i  can’t  let  myself  go  under .   ” “   i  can’t  fly  if  i  keep  looking  at  the  ground .   ” “   on  the  other  side  of  the  dark  clouds ,   the  sun  is  still shining .   ”

[anduke]

                    I WANT BLOOD, GUTS & ANGEL CAKE  ,  I’M GONNA PUKE IT  ANYWAYS   .    by nosta.

[anduke]

listen i dont particularly care for the musical because it kinda ruined the movie’s grim and black humor aesthetic but the songs are top tier

[anduke]

also i think it’s interesting to point out a tidbit about the relationship between mac and duke: duke is seen relentlessly bullying mac after she becomes the new hbic, and it all ties down to the fact that duke feels threatened by how she perceives mac. as it’s mentioned in the musical in ‘beautiful’, mac’s dad is “loaded” in money, thus making her the wealthiest heather. she is also, in my opinion, the prettiest heather, and the nicest. duke feels threatened by all that, and in duke’s mindset, the only way to deal with it is by direct attack and offense ( because it’s what she’s learned from home. her mother feels threatened by the shadow of her husband’s first wife and daughter so she’s constantly attacking them ). duke feels threatened by veronica and mac, but there’s a difference in how she acts around them post chandler’s death, because duke KNOWS she can push mac and she won’t retaliate. duke is a keen observer, and she has realized by now that mac’s need to fit in and keep her status is what drives her to do most of what she does ( being ‘mean’ like her and chandler, etc ). duke recognizes the weakness and need to fit in in mac and that’s why she can push her around freely. with veronica however, mac doesn’t see that, and while she feels twice as attacked by veronica’s independence and defiance, duke is not chandler, duke is not going to attack someone who can retaliate, because she doesn’t know how to deal with someone retaliating.

[anduke]

“Am I being eaten, or eating? Who can say, really?”

Tiana Clark, “Cotton Mouth,” in: I Can’t Talk About the Trees Without the Blood

[anduke]

okay but when danna pao/la said in elite “do you know why i’m so thin? it’s ‘cause i always see myself as fat. do you know why i’m the best? ‘cause i never settle” THAT WAS SUCH A DUKE VIBE.

[anduke]

babygirl i can repress feelings you’ve never even heard of before

[anduke]

A LITTLE INSIGHT ON HEATHER DUKE’S FAMILY AND BACKGROUND

heather is not the wealthiest out of the trio ( that title goes to heather m, which sparks obvious envy from duke towards her so called friend ) however, she is still considerably wealthy, even more so than heather chandler herself.

duke’s father, a robust, large man who holds no attractive other than his money,  married two times: the first time to real estate agent with whom he had a daughter, named christine ( chrissy ), who went out to become a succesful runway model.

the second wife and duke’s mother is a former tv show starlet and checks all the marks of a trophy spouse: pretty, younger and absolutely materialistic.

duke has only known competition and sabotage within her family from an early age: from her mother constantly scrutinizing her and criticising her because she was on the chubbier side growing up, unlike her half sister who was a natural beauty, to the constant push and envy she feels towards chrissy for her looks and succesful career, to the obvious hatred between her mother and her dad’s first wife.

[anduke]

the concept of duke being perpetually haunted by the image of chandler even after she becomes the new queen bee. the concept of chandler’s shadow being a manifestation of all of duke’s self image issues, self esteem issues, and ambitions to be like chandler in all senses. the concept of duke’s self harming tendencies not decreasing at all after chandler’s death because chandler is so imbebbed into her subconscious that it doesn’t matter that she’s dead and duke is the new hbic, she still manifests her insecurities and self harming tendencies through chandler’s memory.

the concept of duke hearing chandler’s scoffing, taunting voice every time she purges even after her death. 

[anduke]

“  i’m going to hell   &   i’m late for it.  ”   (  @versawe​  )

                     “    christ,    veronica,    nobody   cares    about    your    depressive    episode.    knock    it   off.    ”

                   red    should,    by    all    means,   become    her    (    it    symbolizes    a    victory,   power    over    what    once    was    Chandler’s    reign    ).   and    yet,    every    time    she    looks    at    the    red   scrunchie    adorning    her    hair,    Heather’s    voice   grows    louder    and    louder    within    her    mind    (   it    screeches    and    moans    and    taunts    her    as    if   the    cunt    were    still    alive    ).    it’s    not   a    matter    of    guilt    at    all   –    Heather    did    not    pull    any    trigger,   Heather    did    not    pour    any    poison.    Whatever   happened    to    Chandler    means    nothing    to    her    at   all    if    it    manages    to    place    her    at    the    top  of    the    food    chain    –    oh    she    knows.   Heather    M    might    be    a    dumb    bitch,    and    the   rest    of    the    school    a    bunch    of    idiots,    but   Heather    knows    better    than    to    believe    half    the   bullshit    that    came    from    Chandler’s    letter.

                     There    lies    a    certain    show   of    gratitude    towards    whoever    managed    to    end   Heather    Chandler’s    life    like    the    cockroach    she   always    was.    As    far    as    anyone    is    concerned,   Heather    died    a    martyr,    and    Duke    carries    out   the    legacy.

                 “    you’ve    been    acting   like    someone    shot    your    dog    for    a    week    now   ”    furrow    of    thick    brows,    Duke    leans    forward   to    pucker    her    lips    into    the    reflection    of    the   mirror    hanging    from    what    once    was    Chandler’s   locker    (    they    wanted    to    turn    it    into    a   memorial    for    her,    but    Heather    wants   no    traces    of    that   bitch    left    in    the    school   ),    “    and    we    both    know    it’s   not    because    you    cared    about    heather    at    all,   ‘cause    nobody    gives    a    shit    about    heather    by   now,    ”    thus    is    the    popularity    food    chain,  now    Chandler    is    nothing    but    a    grim    reminder   of    the    fragility    of    power    and    youth,    “   so    if    you’re    having    a    rough    time    or   whatever,    go    see    the    counselor    and    stop    pulling  at    my    dick.    ”

[anduke]

“  why is everything so dumb   &   stupid?  ”   (  @versawe​  )

                       “   because    this    is    high   school,    veronica.    you    can’t    expect   groundbreaking    ideas    from    anyone    here,    ”

                   perched   upon    her    desk,    fingertips    go    through    the   pages    of    her    book    with    utmost   indifference   to    the    other’s    plight    –    it’s    an    art   she’s    perfected    over    years    of    being    under   Heather    Chandler’s    foot,    the    ability    to    ignore   everything    around    her    in    favor    of    focusing    her   attention    only    on    something    specific    that   interests    her.    Chandler’s   voice    is    booming    and    commanding,    and    if    you   don’t    learn    how    to    drown    it,    it’ll    swallow  you    whole.

              Still,    after    a    moment    in   which    Heather    finishes    the    bottom    paragraph    on   page    48,    she    closes    the    book    shut    and    fixes   the    hem    of    her    green    skirt    –    there    is   still    no    attempt    at    pretending    to    care    about   what    Veronica    rages    about,    “    why    are    you   acting    like    someone    just    put    bleach    in    your   diet    coke?    christ,    you’re    always    bitching,    ”   above    all,    she’s    always    defying    Chandler    lately,  and    as    much    as    Heather    dislikes    Veronica    on   principle    of    her    being    a    threat    to    the    status   quo    of    the    popularity    chain,    she    cannot    help  but    envy    her    guts,    “    we    all    know    ram   and    kurt    are    dumb    as    a    brick    wall,    but   they    throw    the    best    parties    around,    so    you   just    have    to    suck    it    up    and    go    tonight,    or   heather    will    rip    out    your    fingernails.    ”

[anduke]

𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐖𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐙   ♡   𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒

    some lines modified to be more usable.  ♡

“  oh hi,  thanks for checking in!  i’m still a piece of garbage.  ” “  i’m afraid to speak my mind.  ” “  i just can’t get over my fears.  ” “  you’re free to do whatever you want to.  ” “  do you ever get tired of yourself?  ” “  i don’t want to be afraid of you.  ” “  do re mi,  i’m incomplete.  ” “  hi,  dipshit.  ” “  how ’bout i do anyway?  ” “  how did this happen?  ” “  i want things to change.  ” “  the sun is a deadly laser.  ” “  i guess we’re stuck here,  now.  ” “  you could make a religion out of this.  ” “  get the hell out of here.  ” “  fuck the church.  ” “  why didn’t we think of this before?  ” “  where the hell are we?  ” “  nobody knows what you’re going through.  ” “  maybe we can go out.  ” “  would you rather stay in?  ” “  we’ve come so far.  ” “  i can’t be saved.  ” “  i wanna go outside.  ” “  i’m gonna change my ways.  ” “  i don’t have enough time to say the things i wanna say.  ” “  i just want some time to express the things i feel.  ” “  i wanna write a song.  ” “  when will you come back home?  ” “  i can’t go home.  ” “  why is everything so dumb   &   stupid?  ” “  okay,  what was your question?  ” “  i think we’re gonna be okay.  ” “  oh,  that’s a sexy lamp.  ” “  i can’t go back.  ” “  today’s a brand new day.  ” “  i’m gonna do everything that you’re not supposed to do.  ” “  you’ve got to slow down.  ” “  i’m going to hell   &   i’m late for it.  ” “  i just did a bad thing.  ” “  i’ve let the things i’ve ruined ruin me.  ” “  yes,  hello,  i’d like to be punished.  ”  “  i think i might quit.  ”