angel2014core

[angel2014core]

Weigh In : 119.4 lbs

Measurements 31.5-24.5-34.5

I’ve actually been gaining weight in the form of muscle and I’m not mad about it

[angel2014core]

I will be perfect. I will be perfect. I will be perfect. I need to get down to around 115 at least.

[angel2014core]

I’m getting screwed up again. I’m up to 118 again, after I seemed to break through a plateau I had of fluctuating around 115-120. I haven’t had a chance to work out as much for a while because I’ve been having really bad allergies.

[angel2014core]

Daily weigh-in: 115.4. I felt so hungry yesterday and ate a lot more, although I also worked out as well. I’m going to focus on eating healthy today and working out again to see if I can maintain or even lose a bit more weight.

[angel2014core]

For some reason, being single is so difficult for me. I love consistency in my life, and my bf breaking up with me out of nowhere before the start of the semester and then us getting back together, only to break up again is making things difficult. We’re still friends and definitely flirt a bit with each other, but agreed that neither of us are ready to get together rn. I just keep looking at everyone though. Also online dating/ social media stuff can be so scary! I’ve had multiple men creep on me, and honestly that just makes me want to either be with a girl again or just stay single.

[angel2014core]

I’m obsessed with nostalgic YouTube! My YouTube “addiction” started over 10 years ago, and I love to go back and watch old videos, especially beauty and fashion ones. I remember loving Zoella when I was a teen and watching her videos brings back so many memories and safe feelings. I also watched Fleur DeForce, Ingrid Nilsen (I remember how iconic it was when she came out! I’d come out as bi about six months before she came out as gay), Tanya, Jackie Wyers (she’s seriously so underrated and super talented) etc. 2010s was such an amazing and iconic time on YouTube! A lot of their advice still works today as well.

[angel2014core]

OK, so I have gained a little bit back, I’m at 116 lbs currently. I was really tired from being sick and not working out as much. I went for a 6,000 step walk last night and now did around 30 minutes of Pilates this morning. I feel like this is an OK weight for me tbh. I look good and things fit well. Also, a lot of my cravings have gone away but I still get hungry occasionally. Part of me really wants to try to push my body more to the limits though, while still eating. I’ve been watching Whitney Holcombe on YouTube and I really like her advice about being “model skinny.” I feel like I have been doing a lot of things like that naturally, and I don’t get hungry as often. I’ve also been trying to get lots of healthy fats and protein as well. Having more protein makes me feel more energized.

The things I still have to work on (I have been working on them fitness wise - but I’m not seeing the results that I really want) - are things in my chest area. I’m flat and have some armpit flab, and it seems like no matter how much weight I lose the flab is still there, so I’m hoping to get fat transfer from my armpits to my boobs so I’ll be better proportioned. The other thing I want to work on is getting another 1-2 inches off my waist. I’ll keep doing Pilates workouts for that though, and I’m considering adding in my weight training in addition.

[angel2014core]

Yes! I’m down to 114.4, or bmi of 16.9! I reached 120 pretty well, having some trouble getting down to 115 or lower, but I’m there! (Hopefully I won’t gain it back, although it’s possible!) I’ve been going to long walks, doing Pilates, and focusing on eating nutrient-dense foods, and making sure to get fiber, protein, and healthy fats! (And also staying hydrated too ofc)! Size 2 low rise jeans fit me very well now!

[angel2014core]

Some men are just so easy to manipulate to I swear. You just have to use the “Oh, I’m so silly, I don’t really know what I’m talking about” reasoning. And they’ll just believe that you are actually that dumb… and they assume that women aren’t smart.

[angel2014core]

Sometimes I feel like I do have an 3d, but sometimes I don’t though. Especially where I live in the US, people just keep getting fatter and fatter. The average American is overweight on the edge of being obese according to bmi. The average waist size here is considered obese. The obesity epidemic is also largely Big Food’s fault in a lot of cases, by making ultra processed food available on almost every street corner. We know that it’s terrible for people, and it’s also addicting! So, I wouldn’t blame someone for being fat when they have a lot of odds like that against them. I just don’t want be fat personally, it’s not what I want for my own body. It’s becoming more and more normalized here to be fat. That also makes being skinny even more important to me, because it’s a quality that stands out a lot more. It is also still the main beauty standard too. Thin privilege and pretty privilege are real. I’m frequently treated more nicely than others because of the way I look, and it makes life easier. I don’t want to make things harder for myself, so why would I not want to be skinny?

[angel2014core]

I know that Liv Schmidt is super controversial, but personally I really enjoy her videos, advice, and whole vibe tbh. I like not completely depriving myself of something unless my body can’t handle it well. I like that she doesn’t count calories as I really don’t enjoy doing that, and says “taste everything, eat nothing.” I’ve actually lost a little weight - around 5 lbs or so since following her advice.

[angel2014core]

I’ve found that peppermint tea with honey, dried fruit (especially dried mango), or a little bit of high quality dark chocolate can work well when I’m craving something sweet. Dried fruit also has a lot of fiber so it can help when with constipation.

[angel2014core]

So, I have lost a fair amount of weight - although now my clothes (in particular my pants) are too big for me. I was a US size 4-6 when I started losing weight, and now I’m down to a size 2. As happy as I am about that, all of my pants are falling down on me and I’ve been able to buy some more, but I haven’t been completely able to replace my wardrobe yet. So, yeah… that’s kind of annoying, despite the fact that I’m happy about it

[angel2014core]

Eating healthy fats is really important for maintaining your hair, skin, and nails. It’s also good for you in general, and important for things such as heart health. I still try to eat healthy fats everyday, even though they’re a little high in calories. Olive Oil, avocado oil (or just avocado), omega-3 rich fish such as salmon and tuna (canned tuna in oil is the best), nuts (almonds, cashews, hazelnuts etc), are essential for this. This keeps your hair strong and shiny, your skin moisturized, and your nails strong and long (if you want longer natural nails that is). I try to have a lot of olive oil in particular. I tried to just drink a tablespoon of it everyday first, but the taste was way too overwhelming for me, so now I’ve been dipping a couple pieces of sourdough bread into it. I wish there was a less refined carb way :( I let the bread sit in the olive oil though, so it can absorb as much oil as possible. I also snack on roasted salted almonds if I get hungry between meals. Btw, almonds also can keep you full longer so they’re actually great for weight loss too. I also try to eat fish for lunch and/or dinner a few times a week. Seriously, healthy fats will keep you looking and feeling better. The nutrients are absolutely worth the calories.

[angel2014core]

Shoutout to my ex who complimented me on my flat stomach. I definitely didn’t overthink that at all 😒

[angel2014core]

Oh god I really wanted to be able to be a VS model in my teens when the shows were at their peak, and super extravagant. My measurements were very similar, but I’m not exactly a perfect hourglass (my butt is always bigger than my boobs lol) I was close but I could never quite get there though, I’m not a super even hourglass.

[angel2014core]

Being perfect for me is all about having people think that I’m perfect, which plenty of people think I am :) In practice though 😩 It takes sooo much work… Perfect grades, the perfect body, perfect relationship. It isn’t easy