angelcakez-treehouse

[angelcakez-treehouse]

i drew the most beautiful woman herself, miss grell 🩷 i really love this style of painting a lot!!

[angelcakez-treehouse]

portrait of ciel. it was only fitting since i did a portrait of sebastian. really happy how it turned out :D

[angelcakez-treehouse]

Can’t have a poison apple without the taste tester

[angelcakez-treehouse]

cheeky sebastian fanart. fully self-indulgent. but im pretty happy with it. he's a very pretty demon. and also he knows it. still haven't finished the emerald witch painting </3 i am really enjoying this messy style. it's sooooo good to me.

[angelcakez-treehouse]

i recently watched the apothecary diaries. i liked it a lot. ive started on reading the light novels, so no spoilers please :P

[angelcakez-treehouse]

finished painting ciel! the quality is cruddy since this is just a screenshot. once my mac charges im going to start painting sebastian.

[angelcakez-treehouse]

🖍a doodle from my scout meeting tonight :) support me on kofi!!

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positive affirmations 🖍 support me on kofi!

[angelcakez-treehouse]

nightmares...

ciel is struggling with nighterrors, 1k words, comfort fic

Ciel shot up from his slumber, heart racing like a cornered rabbit. He gasped for air, unable to get enough in his lungs as his head throbbed. He couldn't see, he couldn't hear, he couldn't feel. Ciel desperately searched around for something, anything, to grab onto. Something to steady him. Something to ground him. Ciel made contact with something, he didn't know what, but he clung onto it as if he would be swept away and back into the torrential emptiness.

"My Lord?" A voice, belonging to someone familiar he couldn't quite name, cut through the emptiness. Ciel blinked rapidly and held onto the object tighter, eyes focusing.

"My Lord, is everything alright?" Ciel's eyes focused and settled onto his butler, who stared back at him with a mixture of shock and concern. The boy froze, heart rate showing no signs of lowering into a normal pace. Ciel felt as if his chest was being squeezed in half. He realized he was latched onto Sebastian's arm and went to pull away, freaked out and thoroughly horrified.

Sebastian's free hand grabbed Ciel's hand, keeping it in place.

"No! I mean. I don't mind. My Lord, what is the matter? You look as if you've seen a ghost." Sebastian spoke sympathetically, carefully moving so as to not frighten off a scared animal. He sat on the edge of the bed, maintaining a respectful distance while still allowing the boy to hold onto his arm.

"I... I just had a nightmare. It's nothing." Ciel spoke quietly, not trusting his own voice at the moment. He could still feel the overwhelming darkness and emptiness, the way he was being swept along like a torrent. Sebastian pursed his lips, looking at Ciel with a stern fondness.

"Obviously it's not 'nothing'. You're shaking like a leaf." Sebastian grabbed Ciel's hand, holding it to try and steady the boy's tremors. Ciel looked down, unwilling to meet the demon's concerned gaze. He shook his head trying to pull his hand away. He couldn't bring himself to let go of the butler's arm, though.

"I've read about this before. This behavior in humans, which appears after traumatic events. My Lord, I believe you are-"

"Don't say it. Please." Ciel spoke quietly, feeling small and weak and helpless. He already knew what was wrong with him. It was embarrassing. He didn't need to hear it out loud. Sebastian stared at the boy, deciding whether to drop it. He sighed.

"You can't continue this way. We need to find you something to manage this. You're no use to me if you can't make it through this." Sebastian thought aloud, not looking too different from a mother hen.

"Thanks for the encouragement." Ciel scoffed, eyebrows furrowed. "I'm working on it." He lied through his teeth. He didn't even know where to start.

"Excuse my observation, but obviously whatever you are doing isn't helping. I'm unsure of any longterm solutions, but for now a warm bath and hot meal should help." Sebastian moved to get up, but was unable due to Ciel holding onto his arm tighter.

"...Don't leave me. Just stay, for right now." Ciel whispered, the thought of being left alone even for a moment making him feel nauseous. Sebastian's expression softened and he sat back down.

"Of course. I shall sit here as long as you need, My Lord."

"And don't breathe a word of this to the others. I don't need them freaking out over a frivolous matter."

"I will keep this confidential." Sebastian maintained a comforting demeanor, allowing the boy to cling to him. Ciel didn't reply, choosing to focus on his breathing. The pair sat still in a comfortable silence for a long while. Finally, Ciel stirred.

"What was this you said about a warm bath and hot meal you said?" Ciel asked meekly, rubbing his eyes as he sat up on his own. Sebastian offered a polite, gentle smile.

"I'll ready the bath at once, My Lord. Would you like for me to get you situated and begin cooking for you?"

"No. Stay with me. I don't mind waiting on breakfast, but I don't want to be alone right now."

"Of course. Come along, then. The day is still young, let's make sure you're able to turn it around."

"Right." Ciel murmured, following the butler like a stray puppy. It was unusual. The nightmares never affected him like this before. But the feeling of dread still had its hold on him, leaving him lost and scared. He watched silently as Sebastian prepared the bath, undressing and sinking into the warm tub when prompted to do so.

His mind felt fuzzy and numb, like he was a spectator of his own life. The butler cleaned him and washed his hair, being careful and gentle with his touch. The boy sank deeper into the tub, the water and soap suds reaching just above his chin.

"I can't keep on like this. I feel like a walking corpse most days. I will never meet my goal at this rate." He lamented, blowing an island of bubbles back floating through the water. Sebastian made a sound of agreement.

"That is my concern as well. I myself don't know how to help you, but I plan to research into it. It is my duty, after all. To ensure your health and well-being." Sebastian pulled the drain and instructed Ciel to stand as he began to rinse any soap residue off of the boy's small frame. Sebastian noted he seemed to get thinner every day.

"Ignoring it didn't help. I believe it's actually made the nightmares worse." Ciel stared pointedly at the wall. He still had a hard time looking at himself, even though he tried his best to be kinder to himself.

"No, that wouldn't work. You wouldn't treat an appliance malfunctioning the same way."

"Of course you'd compare my deteriorating mind to an appliance."

"I am a butler. Appliances are what I'm familiar with." Sebastian wrapped a towel around the blue-haired boy, touseling his hair dry. Ciel groaned, rolling his eyes.

"Your point is noted." The boy stepped out of the tub, letting the butler dress him for the day. Ciel cleared his throat. "For breakfast, can you prepare pancakes?"

Sebastian smirked before lowering into a bow.

"Yes, My Lord."

another little drabble. i might make this into a one-shot series, im enjoying writing these.

[angelcakez-treehouse]

finally making good progress on my kuro painting that's been taking me months 😞 the coloring is currently inspired by blythe/pidgin dolls bc they're cute. very excited for this piece to be finished but sadly i don't have a time estimate.

[angelcakez-treehouse]

Howdy! I've set up my Kofi page, and commissions are OPEN. Currently, I am offering only headshots due to my schedule. They are $10, with the option of an add-on of $5 for full color.

These are examples of full-color headshots. If you want to support me going to college, you can commission me here!!

[angelcakez-treehouse]

Mirror, Mirror ...

ciel phantomhive comfort fic, 1k words (body image, self loathing)

Ciel was strong and brave and unbothered by most things. There really wasn't much that he couldn't handle. Unfortunately, the single thing he couldn't handle, was himself. Looking in a mirror, being forced to confront the familiar stranger that gazed back... It was enough to make him break.

The blue-haired boy stared hard into the reflective glass, unable to force his eyes away. The skinny legs, frail body, hair that was a little too long and eyes too big for his face all made him want to look away in disgust. But he couldn't. He hungrily devoured every aspect of his appearance, meticulously fixing his hair and straightening his shirt. He smoothed out his shorts over and over, readjusting the eyepatch tied around his head.

Ciel sighed and scowled, pulling hideous faces in the mirror. He hooked his fingers into the corners of his mouth, pulling his lips back to reveal rows of perfectly white, neat teeth. He inspected each pearl carefully, noting any discoloration or slight disfigurement as he did daily. He clacked his teeth together, frustrated, as he let go of his mouth. He leaned in closer to the mirror, carefully running his fingers along his face, picking at any bumps he happened upon.

"My Lord."

Ciel was snapped out of his self-loathing thoughts by his door opening and the familiar presence of his butler entering the room. The boy furrowed his eyebrows and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms as he warily watched the butler through the mirror.

"What?" Ciel snapped, resentment coursing through him as the butler bowed next to him. It wasn't fair the man had flawless skin and perfectly kept hair, a tall and muscular frame and always-tidy clothing. Realistically, Ciel knew it was due to one simple truth: His butler was not human. Still, it irritated him and he couldn't help but compare his own appearance to the butler.

"I've prepared your afternoon tea and washed the linens. Do you have any other tasks for me to complete before I begin the preparations for dinner?" Sebastian spoke with ease, not even tripping on his words. It made Ciel scoff.

"No. I need nothing from you. Continue with your usual duties." Ciel spoke, examining his fingernails with disinterest. Being near the butler made his skin crawl. Sure, it was mostly because he was jealous. But who could blame him?

"Yes, my lord." Sebastian bowed again, maintaining the perfect demeanor of a devoted butler as he always did. He paused before speaking again. "Is there... anything troubling you, my lord? You're more reserved than normal, and your temper is far shorter. Your staff worries for you."

Ciel's eye twitched. He inhaled deeply, willing himself to not lash out. Of course, something was troubling him! He couldn't look in the mirror without being nauseated at the sight before him. He couldn't see any other person without relentlessly comparing himself to them. Everything was wrong.

"No. Nothing is the matter." Ciel willed himself to say, forcing himself to give a polite smile. It physically pained him. Sebastian didn't look convinced.

"My lord, as your butler it is my duty to ensure your wellbeing."

"If you give a damn about my wellbeing, then drop it." Ciel snapped, venom pouring from his voice. Sebastian took a step back.

"You know I very well cannot do that. Now, talk to me. Either you can tell me of your own free will, or I will extract the information from you."

"...You're such a pest. Why can't you just let it be? You already have everything over me. My life, my soul. You even look better than me. Just let me sulk in peace, demon."

Sebastian narrowed his eyes, his presence feeling stronger and thicker in the air.

"My Lord, I cannot do that. That would be a violation of our contract, remember. If you give up on your goal, that is automatic means for you forfeiting your soul." Sebastian spoke carefully, though there was no mistaking the danger in his voice. Ciel glared in turn, clenching his jaw.

"I'm not giving up. I said nothing close to that."

"You said to let you rot away in peace."

"I said sulk. There's a difference. Will you leave?"

"No. Not until you spit out whatever is the cause for this tantrum."

Ciel groaned, annoyed, and leaned forward.

"You want to know what the reason is? Because I can't look in the damn mirror without feeling disgust and hatred. I can't look at you, or anyone, without feeling anger and envy. I can't think about it without feeling pathetic. No matter what I do, or how I look, I'm still wrong. My body is wrong and my mind is wrong. There's absolutely nothing I can do to fix it either. So, excuse me if I'm pissy and irritated all the time." Ciel hissed, feeling tears sting at his eyes and blinking them back. He made himself look at the demon, and was taken aback by the surprised look on his face. "What? Out with it, you." Ciel barked, feeling self conscious after just spilling out something so deeply personal. Sebastian cleared his throat.

"My Lord. Your body, your mind, are uniquely yours. Of course they are nothing like your peers. To start with, you are younger. You're steadily growing and changing. If you feel disproportionate its because you currently are. It won't last forever, though. Second, you can't compare yourself to me. I am not human. You, nor will anyone, ever look like me. Third, I think you're fine the way you are. You're healthy for a person of your age. I see nothing wrong with you." Sebastian chose his words carefully, maintaining his professionally polite demeanor as he spoke. It was nearly undetectable, but there was a twinge of sincerity in his words. It was now Ciel's turn to look surprised.

"...Enough. I understand. Moping around and pitying myself is doing no good. Did you mean it? That there's nothing wrong with me?"

"I cannot lie, my lord. You know this." Sebastian spoke, again assuming his neutrality. Ciel nodded and let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"You're dismissed. Leave me be." Ciel waved the demon away, taking up his stern demeanor once more. Once the demon was gone, Ciel turned around to observe himself in the mirror once more. He noticed everything, every imperfection, as always. But this time, he decided to be just a little gentler on himself.

first time publishing a one-shot! i wrote this one quickly bc this is smth i wish i was told when i was growing and smth i still struggle with. please give me any feedback you have! remember to drink water and you're loved more than you know 🩷

[angelcakez-treehouse]

i'll reach you

[angelcakez-treehouse]

Equivalent exchange

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finished drawing the queen himself, nev! i think it turned out super cute :)

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current wip of my character, nev. recently discovered the magic of using anime figures as the ref for poses. life-changing. im trying to decide on a default outfit for this guy bc he has tooooo many outfits (i like giving them a huge closet)

[angelcakez-treehouse]

The idea was good

The realisation... Well, it exists ahahaha