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[angelosearch]

I felt like writing a poem tonight while coping with post-family get-together anxiety!

Title: You must hate me

Social Anxiety is the beast that eats the love you give me.

You strap your feelings to the leg of a carrier pigeon, but it never arrives. It is caught in a maw of razor sharp ruminations.

Social Anxiety has an endless amount of keen amber eyes, each with another vision of what your words, your mannerisms, your faces could mean.

Social Anxiety intercepts every bird you send my way, pulling them from the sky with criticizing claws.

It howls a flurry of embarrassments with each meal.

Every interaction calls it to me. It circles, blocking my escape, its scales reflecting the worst versions of myself.

You don't know the bird has died. I never knew it lived; only that my hands are full of bloody feathers.

I come to fear you: the thing that feeds the monster.

[angelosearch]

Friendly reminder that people do read your fics and enjoy them without leaving kudos; they read and enjoy them without leaving comments; they may read them 100 times over, and that icky-looking ratio of a bunch of hits to only a few kudos may in fact be someone who reads it every night before they go to sleep bc it’s their comfort story.

It’s hard in a world where we all wanna collect those pretty numbers like hidden ability shiny Pokémon, and there’s no denying that numbers do give some serotonin! But it’s always important to remember that, sometimes, your work reaches people in ways that you’ll never really know. In ways that aren’t reflected in numbers or comments. And that your work is more valuable than you’ll ever know!

It took me a while to nail this into my head. Just something I think is worth sharing every now and then! <3

[angelosearch]

I had this floating around on my harddrive but never uploaded it. Drew this last year in January. Oops.

Anyway, replaying FFVIII back then made me realize what a terrible principal Cid is.

[angelosearch]

It makes me happy when they listen

[angelosearch]

rb and tell me what’s your most re watched movie.. and be honest

[angelosearch]

This is a MUST

I HAVE to know

[angelosearch]

New ff8 fanfic idea: Laguna keeps bumbling into other pieces of media/fandoms because, you know, he has no sense of direction. So, like, Laguna accidentally on the Death Star. Or Laguna getting scammed by Eda from Owl House.

I just love that idiot so much I want to put him in every situation.

[angelosearch]

Charlie Cox as Tristan Thorn in Stardust (2007)

[angelosearch]

I saw some dragon art just now on my dash and it reminded me of my favorite children's book growing up. Only I don't remember the title :(

It was about dragons, I think a (modern) little girl was raising a dragon secretly and it got really big and eventually turned a field of corn into popcorn for everyone. It was very bright and colorful.

That's all I remember because... honeslty I had a lot of trouble learning how to read. The only kid's books I remember were super colorful because I just flipped through them all the time to look at the pictures.

Anyway, has anyone else seen this book and know the title? I've tried searching for it and have always come up empty. I'd really like to own it, or at least see it again.

[angelosearch]

TL:DR - thank goodness I got up in the middle of the night to make an outline

After a very long drive, I arrived at my in-laws house late last night. Maybe it was restlessness of being stuck in a car, or maybe it was the after-8 pm diet coke but I COULD NOT sleep. Around 3 am I at least got myself to lay down. FOR SOME REASON, I thought trying to work through some upcoming plot stuff in Chaos Theory would help me sleep. I DID come up with much needed solutions, which was exciting, and I almost drifted to sleep after.

Thankfully, something in me told me to get up and type it out even though that meant I was up until 4:15 am. Good thing I did - I remember nothing about what I came up with and only remembered an hour ago that I had come up with anything in the first place 😂 now, is any of it intelligible? It remains to be seen...

[angelosearch]

[angelosearch]

Every time someone talks about how it's our "purpose" or how we're "meant to" to reproduce, I want to tear my reproductive organs out and slam them down on the table.

[angelosearch]

i am wholly above temptations of the flesh. italian food on the other hand,

[angelosearch]

This is for the "None of your Business" square on my Bingo card, but also for the "Uncle Laguna and Raine" prompt for Ellone's @ffviiicharacterweek. It's from my WIP tentatively titled "Tea Party."

Suddenly, with purpose, she marched over to Laguna’s bed, giving him a start. As she leaned down, he wondered what he should do. Was she that grateful? Was she going to kiss him? Kiros always said the ladies were drawn to him, despite his low level on the manliness scale. Just in case, he closed his eyes and puckered his lips in anticipation.

He opened his eyes when he heard rustling under his bed. Raine had bent over to retrieve something.

As she stood, she assessed his expression and gave him a confused look, tilting her head in the process.

“Is everything… okay?”

“Y-yeah!” Laguna said as he felt his leg cramping. He quickly changed the subject.  “Oh, so my gun was under there the whole time?”

Raine handed the weapon over to him.

“You probably won’t need it but… In case you need to protect her. I’ll bring you some fresh bullets tomorrow.”

Laguna nodded vigorously. His machine gun had clearly been cleaned by someone after it washed ashore with his damaged body. There was not a hint of rust on it.

He looked at Raine and could tell this idea, of leaving this kid with a near-stranger who only recently became capable of putting his own clothes on again, was worrying her. He resolved to do his best to protect her.

He saluted playfully.

“Fear not, Commander. I will keep Alone—”

“It’s Ellone.”

“I will keep ELLONE happy and safe in your absence!” He announced with as much aplomb as he could muster.

WIP GAME: Fresh

Welcome to our weekly wip game!

Search your wips for your card(s) and share a sentence or a paragraph. There's only one rule: it must contain the word of the week!

This week the word is...

Share your work in comment, tags or reblogs!

[angelosearch]

Doodles of my beautiful girlfriend