angelvibes0320

[angelvibes0320]

21.06.2025

day 6 in hospital for an0rex!a,

today i woke up at 4:45 am, threw my clothes from the wash into the dryer and went back to sleep to the sound of the rain pitter pattering on my window.

i woke up to someone trying to poke my arm to get some bloodwork done even for the 6th day in a row although i thought my dietitian said we were cutting back on the bloodwork ? then my nurse came in to give me my 8:30 am meds, including a p!ll that helps to make me not so full even tho i still am getting extremely full easily. i decided to grab my clothes from the dryer and grab some towels and take a refreshing shower to start my day.

once i finished my shower, i sat at the dining table and was served breakfast as i texted family members goodmorning. today the downtown view was grey in gloomy rain.

after breakfast i laid in bed and asked the nurse for 2 warm blankets since my hair was wet and it was making me extra cold.

for lunch i managed to sneakily toss out some of the food and half of my main dish because i knew my boyfriend would be coming later in the day with f00d. once i finished i took a nice little nap until about 3pm.

i woke up to my missed/skipped morning snack on my nightstand my nurse had placed there. i ate a few of the grapes and threw the rest and yogurt out i didn’t want to and couldn’t e4t it.

around 5 my boyfriend came and visited with the food i told my dietitian id be having so that i didn’t have to have the hospital dinner on top of it. that just would’ve been way too much lmao no. and he stayed for a couple hours before his parking timer was up.

now he’s gone, it’s 7:15 and i managed to skip my afternoon snack today so slayy lol. i���m in the tv room watching 1000 lbs roomies ironically it’s playing on TLC rn. anyways im gonna probably go to bed early tonight or just watch some youtube late in bed.

tomorrow marks a week in hospital💔

[angelvibes0320]

19.06.2025

day 5 in hospital,

today i slept in a little, woke up and sat by the couch facing the river while i scrolled on my phone. i had breakfast around 9 am and went back to sleep afterwards as my body needs a lot of rest during this time.

i spent a lot of time in my room today, keeping to myself or sleeping, im just so tired and drained from the physical work of ref33ding and when not in my room i was killing time talking to the other patients.

my mom came and visited me after i had my lunch, today tho i did secretly throw away most of the f00d. i just couldn’t help it. but when my mom visited we talked and played cards for a bit then she left.

then we went as a group of patients with a supervisor to spend some time outside. i laid on the thin edge of concrete surrounding the plants and basked in the sun and took in the fresh air. i almost fell asleep there so when we came back up i went down for another nap lol.

besides being woken up for “snack times” and meds, i slept until just before dinner. in the meantime i worked on my an0r3ksia “recovery workbook” and did some readings. today i also started a new show on netflix called tires it’s pretty funny i can’t wait to get out so i can watch it with my boyfriend at his place.

once dinner finished i sat in the tv room and worked on the recreational art activity which was a collage type shit today and made a cute collage with icons like paris hilton and victoria beckham cut out from magazines and hung it up in my room.

around 7:15 pm my dad and brother visited. they brought me my slippers and some word search puzzles and i won in a round of card games against my dad so that was fun.

i took a shower in the evening and sat on the balcony with other patients as time passed and as the sun went down. i took some time to facetime my boyfriend after he was finished work i miss him so much. and took my meds around 9:45 pm with melatonin that is kicking in rn.

i gotta be up early tomorrow for a weigh in and breakfast so goodnight<3

[angelvibes0320]

16.06.2025

day 2 in hospital,

i woke up around 4:40 am unable to sleep, anxious for my weigh in. at around 7 they we!ghed me and then at 8 i had to eat breakfast under nurse supervision. they checked my vitals for the first time of the day (they are “soft” according to the nurses which is why i have to get them checked 4x daily) and i just sat by the window facing the river colouring on my ipad and reading girl, interrupted.

after i ate breakfast i took a 2 hour nap on the couch in the tv room, today i got to get away without having to eat snacks on top of my meals. they make u eat way too much and it’s physically uncomfortable even with the domparidone (med that makes u feel less full).

soon after my nap it was already time for lunch, this time it was harder for me. i cried and tried to refuse to eat but the nurses wouldn’t let down. and i know it’s food or ensure or the tube and the tube just makes my stay longer so there’s really no benefit/point in that unless i get to a point where i seriously cannot take in that much f00d. so yea the nurse had to sit with me while i 4te and tried to support me which was really sweet but fucking keeping their eyes on me makes it harder for me to sneak the food into the trash or down my sleeves.

after lunch i took another nap, i find a get really sleepy when im in the refeeding process. it’s okay tho id rather sleep then sit with the feeling of fullness it makes me want to crawl out of my skin i genuinely hate it here. so i slept a total of 4 hours during the day and 5 throughout the night. nobody visited today and that was at my request, i was too tired. i spent some time on the balcony watching the sun shine and the cars drive back and forth on one of the city bridges. at the hospital we aren’t supposed to vape so i have a nic stick type device that i use on the balcony although i have my vape hidden in my room lol. in this mundane hospital i had to have dinner by 5 pm, this was also difficult for me. i feel so out of control because i quite literally have no control over my food intake anymore and im so scared to gain w3!ght but i know i can lose it easily once im out. im not here voluntarily im here against my will. the nurses cheering me on for eating my food doesnt actually help me at all, like thanks for cheering me on for something im being forced to do lmfao.

i finally spoke to the dietitian and she said that the next day we will speak further into details about my issues and whatnot and the d!3t plan.

i spent the evening on facetime with my boyfriend, watching the sun set over the downtown city view. we played 8ball over the phone and talked about our days. i also got to facetime my mom before bed as well. my family and loved ones have been very supportive throughout this time of my life which i appreciate very much. i went to bed around 11pm, i was super sleepy and my body needed rest. it was a chill and calm day for me in hospital.

<3

[angelvibes0320]

tattoo says this too shall pass🪽

[angelvibes0320]

06.15.2025.

day 1 in hospital, today i got to get away with not having as much because it’s my first day. i know tomorrow after i see the dietitian and psychiatrist they’re gonna up my c4l intake and i will be forced to eat the food or else ill get tubed which will just make my stay longer.

i woke up at 5 am, i’m sharing a room with another person as well. i couldn’t sleep so i watched netflix on my ipad and then read a book by the window facing the downtown river and pretty sunrise view. my dad visited me around 8:30 am with a almond sugar free matcha latte. for breakfast they tried to have me consume a whole tray of food but i opted for the cranberry muffin so the nurse wouldn’t get frustrated with me because she kept pushing.

for lunch they tried to have me another whole tray of food with a bottle of ensure and this gross egg sandwich,i didn’t. i only had the 1/2 cup soup.

i did some artwork in my room and roamed around, i get vitals checked every few hours (4x daily), and finally around 2:30 my boyfriend came to visit with some pretty flowers in a vase it was the cutest thing ever they were pink and white roses. we spend some time together on the balcony facing the river with the sun shining on our faces and hung out for a bit.

after he left i fell asleep on the couch in the tv area for 2 hours and woke up and had to eat the dinner they put aside for me since i was asleep through mealtime. i had another 1/2cup of vegetable soup and steamed carrot slices.

now i am showered with fresh wet hair, sitting on a small couch in the tv area by the window watching the sun go down with the purple sky, watching the cars drive across the bridge and am winding down for the evening🤍

i’m really nervous for tomorrow with the dietitian and psychiatrist but i have to do well to get out then i can get back to my preferred body. wish me luck through this journey, goodnight<3

[angelvibes0320]

[angelvibes0320]

i can’t stop.

[angelvibes0320]

when your family and friends are concerned but u just can’t stop.

[angelvibes0320]

at my gw