annoyedbyfoolishness

[annoyedbyfoolishness]

Happy Mother's Day

Two days before Mother's Day 2025, my mother and I fell out... Surprisingly, I am unphased. So this is how it came to be... My mom is undergoing chemotherapy and received orders from her follow up care specialist to go to the ER due to severe hydration. I missed one of my mom's call after the declaration was made because I was in an important leadership meeting at work; for some reason, I ALWAYS get important calls during these weekly meetings!!! I get a follow up text message from a family member for me to call my mother ASAP! At the conclusion of the meeting which meshed with my lunch break,I call my mom and get up to speed and understand that she wants me to give her a ride to the ER. Being the loving son that I am, I gladly agree, but I had to submit some online FMLA paperwork to cover myself and notify my superior of my sudden departure. So the hospital keeps my mom for two days, and my had asked me to keep her bag for her until she got out of the hospital. I cringed, but agreed. The reason why I cringed is because EVERY TIME someone is held responsible for her belongings without her supervision, they get blamed for thievery. The day my mom is to be discharged, she calls me and asks me to bring her bag to her as the hospital had arranged transportation back to her place (free covered by her insurance). I brought the bag back to her, but before leaving she wanted to check to see if her house keys were in the bag before I left her hospital room. She found them. I come back home and begin my work shift. An hour into my shift, I get a call from my mom saying that her billfold is missing from her bag... Folks, it was at that point that I PHAUCKING LOST IT, and WENT THE PHAUCK off on her!!! I pretty disowned her and told her that her and I were done. Later that day, she called me and told me that she found her billfold once she got home and that it was in the house, and not in her bag all along. I expressed thankfullness that she found her billfold and hung up the phone. I love you, Mom, but I am gonna have to love you from a distance. Happy Mother's Day. Ephesians 6:2. Amen.

[annoyedbyfoolishness]

Not out the Woods Just Yet...

Finally, some good news for change!!! Now don't get it twisted because there was some annoying bullshit that came along with it... So my estranged wife calls me today from a valid number, and asks if I was pursuing the divorce? Of course, I replied with a yes!!! More good news, she's not going to fight it and is in agreement with finalizing everything! She gave me permission to share her "temporary" number with my lawyer, but that it'd be changing in 30 days because it'd be switching to an out of state area coded number from which she alluding that she relocated to a neighboring state. So, I email my lawyer... Now mind you, the communication with this guy has been scarce, to say the least... In the email, I share her number with him and what was discussed; and, how this where he may been having difficulty servicing her due to her unannounced move. This guy replies back to my email faster than a text message and assures me that he's going to call her. I'm pretty excited, but I'm not out of the woods yet and don't wanna count my chickens before they hatch. I am so ready to move on with my life, be shed of this, and be happy... Phauck!!!!

[annoyedbyfoolishness]

Down But Not Out....

Today, Sunday, has clearly been one of the most depressing days that I've had in a very long time. Due to the restrictions of adult customs that I have become accustomed to, especially on long Sunday afternoons of love making, has not been apart of my lifestyle for over 1 year now. As previously mentioned, I got back together with an old flame but her religious beliefs forbid her from "back-sliding" as she did with me in the past per the sin of adultery; legally, I'm still married but my estranged wife and myself have not been together for over 4 and a half years. I paid the divorce lawyer off in February of this year, but my divorce is still not final. I must admit, the loneliness has been unbearable at times, but it has been my own religious faith that that allows me to carry on. I cannot speak for all men, but once an adult male has become seasoned with lovemaking, it can be a blessing and a curse. A blessing when one has it at ones disposal, and a curse when having to go without it. For those that are unfamiliar with the euphoric sensations invoked to ascend to a higher state of consciousness will have no idea of what I speak of... Most enduldge in the act out driven by their most primative an degenerate desires. However, there are some that have mastered the art of the divine union in ways that I could only imagine, as I will admit I have failed to master the art - only because your partner needs to be on one accord with you. Once you have this reasurrance, the two of you can begin to manifest peace, happiness, and abundance. IMO, that is where the cliche' of "He or She may be the One"... I find my solice in writing and tends to alleviate a lot of anxiety that builds up from the loneliness. Tomorrow is a new day, and I continue to rebuke the feelings of dread, as the work week comes closer and closer to the alam clock's blare. I am strong, yet I am but a mere mortal. I am human and flaud. I am far from perfect. There's a Bible verse that says, "He that is in me is greater than He that is in the world". I live by it. I am be down and out now, but don't count me out yet!!!

[annoyedbyfoolishness]

God may a way for me to pursue my divorce of my estranged wife of 5 years! Problem is that I paid the lawyer about 2 months ago, and I still haven't signed any paperwork. I have called and emailed the lawyer countless times, but I've yet to get any response within the past 3 weeks. It's been stressful to say the least. I had to a 4th party involved to force communication out of him to report updates to me. However upon following up with them today, they informed me that I haven't been able to make contact with him either, nor his paralegal. In the words of my best friend, "that's fucked up"! And he's right!!! Gratefully, I'm not a complete idiot so I reached out to my county general court sessions clerk to find out if my case had been filed with the court or not? It hasn't, but the clerk provided me with some general legal information that was extremely helpful. She informed me that once my estranged wife gets served, she has 30 days to sign the divorce papers &/or appeal. If she fails to do so within "said" 30 days, the judge will grant me my divorce on the grounds of what is called fault judgement. I googled the term and discovered it's a legal term for negligence to comply. I asked the clerk if I had to go to court, and she said yes... She said that I'd have to go to court regardless and pay a small court cost of around $60 dollars. This absolute foolishness that I find to be extremely annoying!!! Out of desperation, I attempted to reach out to a couple of my estranged wife's family members, but I have yet to hear back from them. To be honest, I didn't expect to get any immediate response from them, but I won't be surprised when and if they do... To add injury to insult, I got back together that someone I met during the 5 years of separation, but she's holding out on me this go around until my divorce is final. The woman is a christian and I can't much blame her because I'm a christian as well. The problem is that we got back together 6 months ago and we haven't had ANY sexual relations within that length of time!!! Yes, that part is stressful but I can wait because its that good lol... I am praying this week yields some fortuateous results with regards to my divorce finalizing. Rant over. Carry on and good night.

[annoyedbyfoolishness]

One of the greatest things about being an adult is that you can leave the house whenever you want. I had to run an errand at 3am today. The cops got behind me, but turned onto another street. Guess it really does pay off when you're law abiding citizen. I have been a resident of my little town for over 23 years. I guess they know my every move by now 🤣... #Grateful

[annoyedbyfoolishness]

My best friend has become somewhat distant every since he got his new car. It's cool though, just something that I have noticed. Overall, he is still a really great friend. He has always been there for me and I really appreciate him. Winter time can feel lonely and I'm just ready for Spring 🤣...

[annoyedbyfoolishness]

I often feel that women are not always given enough credit for their incredible strength and resilience. I'm not talking about physical strength alone, but the inner strength they possess – their ability to overcome challenges, their capacity for compassion and empathy, and their unwavering determination.

I truly believe that women are an amazing force in the world. They are capable of incredible things, and I deeply admire their strength, their grace, and their unique perspectives.

I also think it's important to remember that true beauty comes from within. While many women enjoy the process of self-care, such as wearing makeup or doing their hair, it's crucial to remember that your worth as a person goes far beyond your appearance.

I've personally found that I'm most attracted to women when they feel comfortable and confident in their own skin. There's something truly special about seeing a woman embrace her natural beauty and shine from the inside out.

Of course, I understand that everyone is different, and these are just my own personal observations. Ultimately, the most important thing is for women to feel confident and happy in their own way.

I hope these thoughts resonate with some of you.

[annoyedbyfoolishness]

I hate this lonely feeling. It's only because it's winter. I have no desire to go anywhere. I barely have the desire to speak to anybody. I know that sounds like a contradiction, but it's true. I'm not the only one. Even my best friend has no lyrics for me. Oddly enough, I don't give a phauck. I guess that's what makes us best friends; both of us being assholes, and all... It's 71 days until spring, and I can't phaucking wait! Winter is not my season. I mean it could be, but it would require a lot of human interaction between me and a woman that I'm attracted to; a woman that yearns for my attention, and the desire to always be around me. I have a half glass full mentality right now because things could be a lot worse.

[annoyedbyfoolishness]

This time of year is very stressful for me because I tend to ruminate about all of my friends and family who are no longer with us. This creates a distraction to my daily life, and it heightens my anxiety. I become clumsy, absent-minded, yet consumed with time. Managing my time is about the only thing that I can do well; it's like a built-in failsafe protocol that my psyche has instituted. It's been over 2 years since my father passed, and I still miss him like crazy. I know he would want me to be strong, so that is what I try to do with each waking moment. Winter time in itself is depressing, in my honest opinion. To those loved ones resting in peace, awaiting Yeahua's return, I miss you and love you!!!

[annoyedbyfoolishness]

This Thanksgiving was really sad because my dad is no longer with us. It's been 2 years since he passed, and I really miss him. I spent time with my mom, and I could barely tolerate her insistent complaining. She complained about everything! On this Thanksgiving, she wanted to eat at this old country restaurant. We went, but there was a 2 hour wait. I found it to be quite ridiculous in how many people were at this establishment. It was packed! I felt like I was the parent as we walked around the gift shop section of the restaurant because my mother seemed to be unaware of surroundings, and the accountability of awareness that one has to have within highly populated areas, as to be prepared to pardon one's self or move out of the way so that another person can get to where they need to go; me pulling at her garment, and apologizing to the person for my mother unacknowledging their presence as they stood still like a mannequin; and the humiliation of the person's condescending smile back at me, as to say, "It's ok.. I know your mother is fucked up in the head and I respect your nobility for putting up with such insolence." I think my mom was on her "meds" extra heavy today, so that she would be able to overcome any anxiety that comes with being in large crowds. I say this because she just had this overall demeanor of "being slow" and not completely present in the moment. On another note, my best friend never responded yo my "Happy Thanksgiving" text, but honestly, I don't give a phauck... I rode by his house, but he wasn't home. I was already on my way home and in the neighborhood, so that was the only reason I rode by. Although this Thanksgiving was dull and dreary, I'm still so very thankful for how good Yaweh God has been to me. It has only been Him and His Son Yeshua whom have had their Hands on me and granted me grace & mercy. In the end, this all that REALLY MATTERS to me. Amen.

[annoyedbyfoolishness]

My Weekend Reality

Weekends are a time for rest and relaxation for me. Back in the day, the weekends were opportunities for me to hit the road and be adventurous, but now, its all about rest... My job doesn't require any physical strength like it did in my 20s. Now its all brain power. By the end of the work week, my brain feels like mush. I have taken steps to overcome this some healthy options such Vitamin B supplements and more green tea over consumptions of caffeinated drinks. It's working out pretty well, but I'm still tired come Friday. It feels so good sleeping in on Saturday morning, but I still feel guilty because Saturday is the Sabbath for me and it's been awhile since I've been to church. I haven't been to church since the pandemic... I'm a germaphob, so that's my excuse. The weekends should be an exciting time for me to want to see my girlfriend and family, but it's really not. My girl works more hours than me, and she's more into sleep & relaxation that myself, and that's understandable... The only downside to the reality of my weekends are the insane dreams that I have and the after effects that they have on me. I seem to dwell on them, even on a subconscious level; meaning that whether I actually dwell on them or not, I still find myself in a melancholy demeanor, or a heightened sense of anxiety for no good reason. I need a vacation, right??? I know that I work too much, but that's my reality and I have stay committed to it for the time being.

[annoyedbyfoolishness]

Finally heard from the chic that I broke up with. I initiated the conversation. She said she's OK and that's all I was concerned about. Hell, I didn't know if the beech was dead or alive! I told her that I still wanna be friends; you may never know when you may need some help in an emergency, right? I just took a shot of whiskey and I felt it within 2 minutes... I was feeling hungry and I chose a shot instead. Me and my ex are still together. She asked what I wanted for Christmas and I texted her the link. She said, OK. Green apple Crown Royal was the whiskey and it gives me a headache for some reason. I didn't buy it. The chic I broke up with did. Nonetheless, I'm not gonna let it go to waste. It may take me a couple of years to finish the bottle though, lol...!!!

[annoyedbyfoolishness]

Week 2 of getting back with my ex... If it were up to me, we'd already had made love by now, but apparently, someone is prideful and clinging to a sense of dignity. I guess she doesn't want to come off as a slut and just give it up that quick. What difference does it make? It's not like we don't have any history... Oh well, makes no difference to me because I already know what to expect which isn't bad; otherwise, I would have never pursued getting back together. I'm a pretty patient guy. A game of cat & mouse never hurt nobody. #thickaf

[annoyedbyfoolishness]

First, chick, something was wrong with her because even her gyno told her that her walls were too close together to be 30 years of age; tighter than a virgin, for real. On top of that, she was thick asf, but on the obese tip. She had some good head though. Second chick was someone I already had history with. Caught that biatch in a lie and dropped her like a bad habit. Now, I did something that I said I wasn't going to do and got back with my ex... So far, she seems less bat-shit crazier than before, but still cray-cray. Our work schedules absolutely do not mesh at all and I don't even see how we're going to be able to spend time together. Phaucking annoying!!!

[annoyedbyfoolishness]

Get a Hold of Yourself, Man...!!!

So I haven't had sex since my ex which has been over a year ago, probably longer, I've lost track. I get so anxious sometimes that I feel like I'm gonna loose my shit... None of my old flames wanna go there with me, I can't much blame them; been there and done that type attitude or already on the down-low with somebody else and feel the need to divulge the reasoning why they can't be with me. Again, completely understandable because its none of my phaucking business... I feel really bad for virgins. They fantasize about something that they've never experienced, but for someone like myself that has been with a woman, its like being in prison doing without it. I'm strong though. I just needed an anonymous outlet like this to vent. On the other hand, at least my blood is clean and haven't been contaminated by some deceptive scant. I can be patient, and let me tell ya when I get the opportunity to be with quality woman, I am gonna drain the bitch of every ounce of estrogen. I'm gonna to make out with her vagina like its someone's face! I'm gonna suck the cut's clit like its a tiny cock! See how insane I sound, lol..!!! I mean when I get lucky enough to engage in intercourse, I am going let the tip of my cock massage her cervix like an OBGYN medical instrument! I am going to massage her body while I stroke her like a baker needing dough! I am gonna naughty nothings in her ear and not give a phauck if she refuses to leave my home for the next 2 weeks!!! I am gonna ask for the bitch's clothing size, go buy a few panties, some outfits, and look in the eye and say, "I don't want you to leave!!!!" Of course, I won't give a phauck if she leaves or stays, but I will savor every phaucking moment with her. Ahhhh (sigh).... I feel so much better now. I'm not sorry for posting this. Sometimes a motherfuka needs to vent. Sexual deprivation/frustration is what leads to a crimes. I don't have the statistic suppoorting this opinion, but I can relate; however, I refuse to act out because I COMPLETELY value my lifestyle. This shit is temporary. I am a handsome guy and have a lot of good things going for myself. Now, I am NO SPRING chicken, but when your half a century and still have nocturnal emissions, and not on any of the blue chew viagra BS, I think a body's blessed! Keep your shit together, bro!!!! Phauck those hoes.... You'll be aight, lol...!!!

[annoyedbyfoolishness]

Maybe It's Nothing....

I have noticed this indescribable feeling of sadness and loneliness here lately. Understandably so, it has been over a year since I have slept with anyone. I call it "being in a funk". In my defense, I have been able to shake it off, but here I am posting about it. I find this method to be very therapeutic though... By writing about my problems, it provides as an outlet to shout; Tears for Fears, "Shout. Shout. Let it all out... These are the things I can do without. Come on! I'm talking to you. Come on." I joined a singles group on Facebook and have discovered that it may not be the right fit for me. I practically got attacked by some random females shooting down my standard of female that I was looking for. I shut that noise down real quick. I have continued posting there and haven't had any problems since. I have only see two ethnic females (black or afro-latino) and rest all white. That's no problem for me as 80% of my relationships have been outside of my race. I have seen other black men post there too, and with little to any comments on their posts. The sad part is that when those "white" women post, you'd think that it applies to "you", but it doesn't. They are speaking to the white men without saying "white men only"... My ex's birthday was yesterday but I didn't wish her any well-wishes. One of my past lovers accepted a friend request from me on Facebook. We chatted today, but she pretty much told me in a nice way to get lost, lol... When a chick leaves you on "read" and doesn't respond to your comment, she ain't trying to mess around with you. On another note, my best friend and I are still tight, but he got a new job and our work schedules clash now. In all honesty, he is actually transitioning on to my level now: working nights, gaining weight, and cherishes his time off to get some much needed rest & relaxation. Like I said, I know how that feels, so I don't much bother him. I empathize with him and put myself in his shoes; I wouldn't want anyone interrupting my sleep or rest on my day off; I really wouldn't want anyone knocking on my door on my day off for that matter. I want new friends! I want a new girlfriend! I just have to be careful for what I wish for because these "new friends" could end up being narcissi tic assholes for all I know. I actually kind of need some people like that in my life that seem to care about but they must be balanced and not one-sided. Another thing that is bothering me is that I have become so lonely that when I see women, it upsets me that I can't have them. I love women! I love they way they are shaped. I love the way they talk, walk, and even the way they pick stuff up off the the floor with that squat method or bending over with their asses always facing me. It hurts... It hurts really bad... I have to get over this though and accept things for the way that they are because this is fact and not fiction. This real life and not an episode in a movie that has a happy ending. I know things will change for the better though because God and my ancestors are bearing witness to this post as well and want to see my happy. They don't want to see my unhappy... I feel a change coming, but I just have to be patient!

[annoyedbyfoolishness]

Get Over It...

I constantly find myself in a funk, when I have no real good reason to be... Yes, I have responsibilities: bills, debt, ect, but doesn't everybody? Yes, they do. You're not alone! I need to get out of my own head! I could make excuse after excuse about if there were someone in my life, that I'd forget but that's not true. I'm in self-denial and I admit that now... On contrary, I've got to find a way to balance out my emotions. I realize now that is the problem. Far too many times, I get caught up in my emotions. I expect for others to understand how I feel, but the truth is, how could they? There is someone on my level, but I have to be able to come to terms that they're not from around here... A lot of women in my life have thought they understood me, but the truth is that they only had an affinity towards me and simply empathized without even being conscientious of it. I can't blame them. They were hopeless romantics. I will get over this! I have to. If I care anything about myself, I will get over this funk feeling.