anotherjobwelldone - Tumblr blog

[anotherjobwelldone]

Rare earth⁉️ Of course its rare, they only made one❗

[anotherjobwelldone]

a tiny old woman came into the deli and ordered a “wonderful turkey sandwich” and when asked what she wanted on the sandwich other than turkey she said “all of your most wonderful toppings”

[anotherjobwelldone]

disappointing that our brains are made of electric meat and not something cooler like soap or possibly glue

[anotherjobwelldone]

A Trip to the Mall

[I wrote this during s1! So it sorta has that energy, it's pre-ep6, but I figured I'd launch it out of drafts during the hiatus because it's cute lol]

If anybody had announced an angel visitation at the Emerald Square Mall on a random August day, the cameras and busy-bodies (if any showed) would have surely gazed up at the glass-paneled ceiling or waited expectantly in the parking lot. But they would’ve missed the whole event. The angel sat in front of the Cool Kidz Fun Zone playground, next to the JC Penney, eating a whole cheese cup from Auntie Anne’s like a big fruit gusher.

Occasionally, children did point and stare and laugh, but it wasn’t Ariel they were noticing. On either side of the angel, who wore a haphazard bundle of perfectly normal clothes, two young men were arguing pettily about nothing, and both wore loud suits despite their lack of class.

“I saw something scurrying around in there and you know it, what’s wrong with Victoria’s Secret?” This was Lev, who wore a sky blue suit, and looked a little bit like a balloon animal in its folds.

“You’re kidding. You want to go in the bra store, and you want to make us come with you. You’re always right after all, you’re especially right when you want to waste time at the boobie mart when we already know where it is!” Silas pointed at Lev with a half-eaten pretzel, scattering salt onto Ariel’s lap.

“I liked that store,” Ariel said. “I don’t see anything wrong with it!”

Lev rolled his eyes. “Now I don’t wanna go in. Y’know, I thought it might be nice to do something lower-stakes for once, but no, it’s still all about wasting time. Whose time are we wasting here? And maybe I did want to go in there Who could blame me?”

Silas’ nose wrinkled and he let out a light, yet somehow threatening, little laugh. “Okay, Lev. Whatever you say!”

At that moment, Ariel swallowed the remains of a napkin and sat up straight. If they had visible wings, they would’ve jumped. “Hey, look over there!”

A puffy, grey tumbleweed—very hairy and rotund—scrambled up an escalator. Soon it was out of sight, gone onto the next ring of shops one storey above the ground floor. Damningly, the thing had a pink thong stuck in its fur, along with a lollipop and someone’s keys.

“I told you!” Lev shouted, louder than he should have. 

The kids in the play area stopped to look at him. “Mom, what’s wrong with that guy?” one of them asked.

Silas snorted, ignoring everything but the escalator. The sooner they could finish this dumb creature off, the sooner they could get back to meaningful endeavors, which may or may not involve necromancy. But that was Silas’ prerogative, and Lev didn’t need to know.

“I’ve got it,” Ariel called, leaping up the steps. 

Several meters away, the grey ball bowled at top speed through an earring rack in front of Claire's. At the end of the walkway, it bounced off a kiosk like a pinball, obliterating a mannequin. With a set of pointy white teeth, the creature began to gnaw on the mannequin’s arm, looking like a bootleg Pacman.

Customers fled from the creature, some yelling for security. Ariel made a dash for it, but in an instant, the ball glanced up (or presumably glanced, since no eyes could be seen through its fur) and tore off into a Forever 21.

“Dammit.” Lev sighed, a little out of breath. “We gotta corner it.” While they would usually have guns, the mall security would be on their backs in no time; and seeing as the creature was mostly harmless, Lev wanted to catch it without hurting it.

“I wish we could murder it,” Silas said wistfully.

Ariel frowned, starting after the ball. “It’s just a little guy. I like little guys.” Ariel had, at first, also wanted to do violence to the ball. But if there was still any semblance of a celestial Plan for Ariel to follow, Lev’s word was at the center of it, and ought to be followed. If Lev didn’t want to see the beast harmed, it was out of the question.

In the Forever 21, they followed a vague trail of disarray across the sales floor. “Wow Lev, some of this stuff would really fit you,” Silas said, his voice saccharine. He picked up a very bright tropical shirt with a deep collar. He used his powers of suggestion, reaching into Lev’s mind and planting—I dress like a homo.

“No I don’t!” Lev snapped, going pink. Ariel blinked, looking confused, before shrugging and pushing on. Silly Lev was always saying stuff like that.

Lev did not dress like a homo, or that’s what he tried to convince himself. His look was carefully cultivated, it had a cultural resonance, it was fitting and masculine! Didn’t everybody match their hat-band to their pocket square? His look had no bearing on whether he was a fruit. Silas had no idea what he was talking about.

But what if that thought had been his own and not Silas’? It was getting harder to tell these days. For a small moment, Lev wished he could put his own thoughts into Silas’ head, just to give him a taste of how it felt. What could it be like in Silas’ mind… Lev could barely imagine, but he got distracted trying.

“I have an idea,” Ariel said quietly, picking up a big, thick woolen coat from the clearance rack. The ball had rolled into the changing area. Following along, the three of them crept into the row of stalls. A shadow stopped at the end, snuffling softly.

Silas and Lev shared a look, then glanced in the direction of the ball. Unfortunately, they did not actually grasp Ariel’s idea before going into action, Lev trying to tackle the creature and putting his head through a bit of drywall, Silas nearly grabbing it but getting flattened in its wake.

Still, when the ball attempted to escape, Ariel leapt onto it with the coat, quickly zipping it up and creating a lumpy sack. The ball, knowing when it had been caught, went sadly limp.

Lev pulled his head out of the wall, dusting off his hat. “Nice,” he said after a moment. “Now how the fuck are we gonna get it out of here?”

[anotherjobwelldone]

i love to do kind things. one time i even helped a clam across the street

[anotherjobwelldone]

Hi... thoughts on shrimp (As animals)? If it’s too personal to say that’s ok....

not personal at all :) so they are like creatures to me

[anotherjobwelldone]

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is it too late to slide this in lmao

[anotherjobwelldone]

:(

[anotherjobwelldone]

it came to me in a dream

[anotherjobwelldone]

*sighs dreamily* what is Wrong with him

[anotherjobwelldone]

any other ajwd fans on tumblr...👉👈..

[anotherjobwelldone]

He can pick any card from a pack He is equally cunning with dice He is always deceiving you into believing That he's only hunting for mice

Mister Mistoffelees // Cats

[anotherjobwelldone]

[anotherjobwelldone]