ansleycarvxr-blog

[ansleycarvxr-blog]

Whatever nonsense her Art History homework had been taken about disappeared entirely from her mind and she abandoned her notebook, textbook, and pencil to the side. Ronan was far more interesting than dead people and useless knowledge. “I’m sure Remi can manage, everyone deserves to have their ego inflated every once in awhile, especially when it’s true. I’m still a little shocked--you went from ‘cool classmate whose art I’m jealous of’ to ‘sexy totally would fuck classmate whose art I’m jealous of’ in a matter of seconds.” Ansley leaned forward, elbow on the table and chin in her hand as she smiled up at Ronan. Her fingers were running over the feathered boa, a little token of the show just put on. She wasn’t entirely sure just what made Ronan get up onto a table to dance and partially trip, but she thanked whoever had put that in motion (she doubted it was on Ronan’s own accord). Ansley laughed, a cheerful one not tainted by the rough few days she’d had. “I mean, do you really want me to? I could go on for quite a long time about how sexy you are---you’d have to stay shirtless. I have probably the best view in the entire world right now.”

A chuckle rumbled up Ronan’s chest and spilled past his lips as he watched his fellow artist, and friend, blatantly check him out. She was only one of a dozen heated gazes currently lingering on him after his little show, but, for some reason, her’s was the one that made his grin grow noticeably wider. “You’re doing absolute wonders for my pride right now, Ansley. If you keep it up, Remi is going to need a battering ram to get my over inflated ego through the door,” He teased, leaning forward with his forearms propped on his knees. The sunshine felt amazing on the skin of his bare back and he felt a twinge of sadness that summer was quickly coming to a close. Pretty soon they would be well into sweater weather, and not long after that, it would be snowing. Once it began to snow, it was only a matter of days until he was expected to fly home to Washington and behave himself at the annual Barone family kiss ass Christmas banquet. Most events his family came up with excuses for why he couldn’t be there, but the banquet was for his father’s political sponsors and they wanted to see the entire family together. “On second thought, doors are overrated. She can use the windows to get in and out of the house. –Tell me again how sexy I was?” He laughed, trying to shake off the thoughts of returning to the town that hated his guts. It was always a surefire way to bring down his mood, and he wasn’t ready to kiss his adrenaline high goodbye yet.  

[ansleycarvxr-blog]

@badlymilligan: @xxansbabe @GangOfWolves ansley i am shocked and quite frankly? disgusted. i'm a taken woman now i can't be riding you and wolfgang all around town

@xxansbabe: @badlymilligan like you wouldn't enjoy it ;)

[ansleycarvxr-blog]

@GangOfWolves: Officially ended my six years with no girlfriend streak. FeelsGoodMan.JPG.

@pearlw: @GangOfWolves you and alyssa finally made it official? congrats

@xxansbabe: @pearlw @GangOfWolves har har har.

[ansleycarvxr-blog]

@badlymilligan: @GangOfWolves it's true, everyone! wolfgang and i are fucking on the regular!

@GangOfWolves: @badlymilligan you're going to make me lose my girlfriend after 3 minutes with the tweet.

@xxansbabe: @badlymilligan @GangOfWolves I mean, threesome?

[ansleycarvxr-blog]

Now that everything was out in the open and Ansley was no longer trying to keep herself from crossing a line, all she wanted to do was curl up into Wolfgang’s side and go back to sleep. Maybe this time she could actually get some sleep too. But Ansley never stirred, never stop paying any less attention to what he was saying. She’d once thought of Wolfgang as an old soul, someone far wiser than their years and who could teach the world. Ansley wished there were more people like him, but it made her happy that she at least had the opportunity to have him in her life. And she didn’t want to let him go. And really, she didn’t have to let him go. He was right there promising he’d be there for her, wanting her, and asking her to be his girlfriend. Ansley knew her answer far before he had even brought it up. She shifted to face him properly, both hands now on either cheek as she leaned forward to kiss him. Ansley’s hands moved so she could wind her arms around his neck, pulling herself as close as she could while still sitting. When the kiss ended, Ansley gave a breathy laugh before nodding her head. “If that wasn’t an answer enough, hell yes I’ll be your girlfriend. Taking a risk on someone is hard, but entirely worth it most of the time and with you? I know it’s worth it. You and me, Wolfie, against the world,” Ansley said with a giggle. “That was lame, but you get the point.”

Wolfgang’s eyes watched her intently as she spoke. He was always so interested in what she had to say but this time, he was more interested than ever. Hearing all of this was coming as a major surprised to Wolfgang, he was always the friend in time of need or the shoulder to cry on. He was almost never as anything but caretaker. It was so different to hear Ansley speak so highly of him. Different but nice. Wolfgang found a slight smile spreading across his lips when she giggled, leaning in unconsciously and giving her a soft gentle peck on the lips.“I think all of that about you and more, Ansley. You have no idea.” The words that left were barely above a whisper as he spied a piece of stray hair and tucked it lovingly behind her ear.“You have to remember that these are actual human beings you’re dealing with when you associate yourself with people. Living, breathing people just trying to make it to the end of the day in on piece. People who love and fear and get hurt. Once you realize that, the rest falls into place. Sure, they’re a couple of assholes out there, i deal with them on the a daily basis, but no one is mean for no reason. At least i don’t think so. There is some other component internal or external that’s causing them so much agony that their only way of coping is to lash out. That’s why i’m nice to everyone. Everyone is going through something and sometimes all it can take is a smile and show of interest to make things easier on them.” His cheeks flushed red against Ansley’s thumb that began to move its way across his chin.“Some people are like that, though. Once you fuck up, all they see is the mess you made. Sometimes they can’t see the extent you go through to clean it up. But i do. I may not have known you during your experimental phase, but i know you now and i can see how much work you’ve put into getting here and it makes me just fall more in love with you. You’re brilliant.” His head cocked to the side at the mention of him terrifying her, he was the most non-intimidating person he knew.“It’s okay to be scared, Ansley. But have the courage to live the life you want to have. Do you know what that means? That means being afraid but doing it anyway. You’re going to fall a couple of times but i will always be here to help you back up. Losing me is not an option. I’m not a gamble, Ans. You can count on me to not split. So take me. Take me because i want to be taken by you and i want to take you. Be my girlfriend. Take the jump. I promise i won’t let you down."��

[ansleycarvxr-blog]

Useless Details Ask Meme II

Send one of the following symbols to find out more about my muse! Part I: (X)

Getting closer:

× what does your muse smell like? what perfume/cologne are they using? � do they shower often? every day or just every couple of days? ♻ how about brushing teeth? three times a day, or just in the morning? ⌘ do they rather shower or take a bath? ♀ how long does your muse usually need for a shower/bath? ⚣ how long does your muse need to shave? (this is also for the ladies!) ♂ does your muse put on make-up? how long do they need for it every day?  ⚢ what kind of make-up does your muse use? favourite colours? how much do they use?

Exploring their body:

♤ does your muse have any scars? where? what do they look like? how did they get them? ♧ any freckles/moles/birth marks? where? ♡ are their fingernails dirty or clean? cut/long? ♢ how much do they weigh? ♠ any ‘weird’ characteristics on their body? one leg/arm longer than the other? ♣ are their veins particularly visible when they’re angry/upset/sad? ♥ do they have more muscles or more fat on their body? ♦ any tattoos? where? what’s the story behind them?

Open your closet:

⦂ what clothes do they sleep in? ♚ do they have a favourite piece of clothing? ❅ what do they usually wear when they’re not working? ☏ what do they wear when they’re at work? ₤ how many shoes do they have? what kind? Σ how many purses do they have? ⌚ how long do they need to decide what to wear in the morning? ⌛ do they go shopping for clothes often? how long do they usually need? $ how much money do they spend on clothes every month?

[ansleycarvxr-blog]

Patience was something that Ansley had always been good at since she was a child. A girl raised the way she had, dealt with what she had, and suffered like she had only had patience to hold onto during those times. In this case, she held onto that patience after her words had spilled from her lips. She’d dumped a lot into Wolfgang’s lap, something that anyone would need a few minutes to process and react to. Even if she was patient, that didn’t mean she wasn’t nervous with each passing second that her feelings weren’t reciprocated and that she would face the awkwardness of leaving the room---but also the devastating knowledge of losing someone who kept her afloat in this world. When he did speak, it wasn’t what Ansley had been expecting to hear. The confusion was bound to be clear in her face, mainly because she’d just cut her heart open and let it bleed for Wolfgang and his words so far were only making her wonder if she should find a place to hide under his bed in shame. But her confusion subsided as she listened, another thing Ansley had always been good at when it came to people. There was a flash of anger (at those who would be anything but sweet to him), a flash of understanding (she knew what it was like to be in his position), a flash of love (for his mother), and all of it blossomed into the warmth and growing love she had for him. By the time she felt his fingers at her chin and she looked up at him, her cheeks were red and her bright eyes were wet. She wouldn’t cry, but the emotions inside were overwhelming. Ansley had never thought that she would find someone for herself. She’d always been the girl that guys wanted to sleep with, the girl that was ‘just one of the guys’, and the girl that wasn’t very much liked by other girls. Despite being someone with a heart of gold, she was lost in the world and never thought that someone would bother to rummage through the lost and found to find her. “I make you feel all that?” Ansley asked stupidly, a giggle in her voice. “You poor thing,” she added but it was lighthearted and an attempt to try to find her thoughts before she said anything else. “You’re different, but that’s what makes you so beautiful. Your heart is so big and I think that’s what makes you so strong too. You’re willing to love, to give your everything to people, and that’s amazing.” Ansley took a deep breath as she lifted a hand up to rest against his cheek, thumb brushing along his cheekbone. “You’re the only person who doesn’t look at me and see only my mistakes. You see me. It’s crazy how just being in the same room as you can make me smile, how I could be thinking of the most random thing in the world and somehow you find your way into my mind. I was scared to tell you how I felt mostly because...” she paused, eyes shifting down for a moment in shame. “I still am scared to let someone in, to love someone. I lost everything and the only thing I could do was curl up in my little hole and try to pass through the days without anyone noticing me. You terrify me, Wolfgang. But in all the good ways. And I’m tired of hiding. I’m tired of losing. I’m tired of putting everything I want to the side. I want you. I want the happiness you give me. I want the love you have to share. I want all your smiles, your laughs, your thoughts. I want all the little moments, the soft touches, and the fights. I want you.”

Wolfgang rubbed the back of his head nervously when she laughed, causing him to break into a slight chuckle himself.“Maybe we can make them together sometime, i’m sure someone with amazing art skills like yourself could totally excel in pottery.” He flashed her a smile.“As for the Econ test, i’m still miserably failing. It’s not the major i want to do, but i can’t think of anything else i actually have a desire for, so i guess i’m stuck with it. Plus, my father would be really upset if i changed.” Wolfgang felt her move over close to him and he was quick to move over the make more room. When she had gotten comfortable in her spot, he moved a little closer, resting his head onto her shoulder. He closed his eyes for a moment to take everything in. Just being beside her sent a case of butterflies through his stomach and his heart skipping like a broken record. Something about her…There were too many. He found comfort in their silence, although he could tell it was a strained one. Something was on her mind and it was about to slip out, he just had to be patient. Wolfgang had almost began to drift off to sleep when she began speaking to him again. When he heard the words leave her mouth, his eyes shot open and he jerked his head up. He looked up at her, waiting for a punchline or a ‘but..’. When it didn’t come, he blinked at her blankly. Now would had been the perfect time to tell her how he felt but his mind went to mush. Inhaling a steady breath, he left her there in silence for a few minutes, allowing her to change her mind and take back what she said if she wanted to. “I was told my whole life that i was different, you know?” It came off as an off topic sentence.“I was called other things too, sensitive, pansy, pussy, faggot…But always called different. I would find myself in my room crying sometimes after school, wondering why i had to be so…so fragile and why the world had to be so cruel. One day my mom found me crying, i’ll never forget it. She pulled me in her arms, she knew exactly what was wrong. She held me when i cried and she told me; 'Wolfgang, you are too sweet for this world. You treat everyone you meet with such kindness and significance. You are very different from most people. You see the good in the bad and you see the best in the good. You always try to make people shine. I know people are mean to you. I know they say hurtful things. But one day, you’re going to meet someone and they’re going to make you feel the way you make everyone else feel. They’re going to pull out the best in you like you do with everyone else. They’re going to make you feel like maybe you aren’t so different. Like being odd isn’t a bad thing. One day you’re going to find someone who is going to make you happier than you can ever imagine and you’re going to fall in love with them. You just got to give it sometime.’” He paused for a moment, lifting her chin so he could give her a steady look in the eyes.“And she was right. And it’s crazy because she described the way you make me feel, perfectly. You make me feel like i’m not some sort of freak or someone who is stupid for seeing the best in everyone. But most importantly, Ansley, you make me feel like it’s okay to be me. And that’s all i ever wanted to feel like." 

[ansleycarvxr-blog]

She ducked her head down after the bop to her nose, a smile on her lips and a blush painting her cheeks. “Her true love’s first kiss. So many stories are like that, I wonder when that became a thing--the idea that your true love could make everything better with a kiss.” Maybe it was true, she wasn’t entirely sure. Ansley pulled the sleeves of her hoodie down moved to cover her hands, hiding away the shakiness of them for the moment. They were distracting her and she was already having trouble thinking straight. Her attention went completely back to Wolfgang when he started speaking again. It didn’t matter what he was talking about, Ansley would always be listening, taking in everything he had to say. It was like she couldn’t risk missing a single thing. Bad times are just times that are bad. Ansley would have to remember that later. “Your poor pots, you’ll have to make more and next time I’ll carry them for you. But congrats on your test. I’d probably hardcore fail Econ if I even tried, not my area of expertise,” Ansley laughed, leaning back a bit before she came back to her original position when she quieted down. “Well, I don’t blame him for being upset. You are amazing and poor guy is probably heartbroken,” Ansley said as she pressed a hand over her heart. “He’s probably crying himself to sleep and being sad for the rest of the year.” It was hanging there in the air, in Ansley’s grasp but she couldn’t quite catch a hold. So what did she do? She said nothing. She pulled her eyes away from Wolfgang as if that would be the end of their conversation, shifted to unfold her legs from under her and moved to lean against the headboard beside Wolfgang. She still said nothing as she closed her eyes and gave all the appearances that she was just going to nap beside him. Ansley was being weak. She hated being weak. Here she was spending so much of her time trying to get back to her old self and be happy and she was pushing away the one thing that could save her from herself. She was so scared of losing what could make her happy because she’d already had all of it ripped away from her once before. But this time would be different wouldn’t it? If Ansley had learned anything it was that she needed to stop putting everyone else before herself. She would bend over backwards to make sure everyone around her was happy and never once took care of herself. She did it with her parents, with Wyatt, with everyone. Not anymore. Maybe the Zine was doing something good for once. When Ansley opened her eyes again and looked at Wolfgang, it was different this time. Her eyes were brighter, the smile on her lips reached her eyes, and she didn’t hesitate in leaning over to press her lips to the corner of his mouth, a sweet quick peck before she pulled away just enough to look at him. “I’m falling for you faster than I ever thought I’d fall for someone. You’re the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last thing when I fall asleep. You drive me crazy with that cute smile of yours and you make me feel like I’m worth something. I know you might not feel the same way, but I can’t just keep trying to deny it or hide it so I’m telling you.”

“I’m really not that sleep anymore.” Wolfgang argued back playfully as he reached forward and bopped her on the noise with his index finger.“I’m as wide awake as Aurora was after her true love’s kiss..Or whatever cliche thing wakes her up after sleeping for years.” Resting himself back against the headboard of the bed, he closed his eyes, listening to her talk. Something in her voice sounded off to him and he was beginning to get worried. He tried to push away all the negative thoughts running through his mind but he still couldn’t completely shake them. Things had been awkward between them since the kiss, was his feelings for her totally unrequited and she was just trying her best to let him down easy? He wasn’t sure. Wolfgang slowly reopened his eyes again when she stopped talking. Glancing down at her, he found himself giving her a lazy shrug.“I’ve been alright. Between Salem’s death and some family issues going on, it’s been a tough week to say the least. But,hey, bad times are just times that are bad. That’s all.” He gave her a smile, an actual genuine smile. The kind where it reached his eyes and caused a light gleam in them.“I can’t say anything too exciting has happened. I made a few new pots in pottery. Granted, i dropped three of them during my walk home. I also passed my Econ test, which i am totally,like, excited about. I also got asked out on a date and while I was totally flattered and gracefully turned down the request He was a bit upset about it.”

[ansleycarvxr-blog]

Ansley slipped inside, no longer hesitant about coming into his space. She toed off her shoes by the door, giggling quietly at Wolfgang. “Right, you’re totally wide awake,” she teased as she turned back around. Ansley followed after him toward the bed, standing beside it as her eyes raked over the bedroom. It was still far cleaner than her bedroom was at the moment. Ansley pushed herself up onto Wolfgang’s bed, shifting to sit cross-legged facing him and close enough that she would barely need to extend her arms out to run her fingers along his side. “I’ll remember that for next time--or at least text ahead of time before just showing up.” Ansley was still distracted, eyes refusing to meet Wolfgang’s now that she was this close to him. She hated that her hands were still shaking. “Have you been okay? It’s been a few days, I should have texted you at some point, I’m sorry.” She was still beating around the bush, not doing what she had to do. Her phone was left back at her dorm room, mainly to keep the text message she’d received as far away as possible. “But you can tell me all about the exciting things that have happened to you.”

Giving his head a violent shake, quickly opening the door to his room and ushering her inside.“And give up an opportunity to hang out with you? Of course not. I can always sleep later, i couldn’t go back to sleep now if i tried. I’m wide awake.” Despite his words, a yawn still found its way out of his mouth. He quick gave his head a shake, a blush etching his face. He really didn’t want to go back to sleep now, he hadn’t seen her in days and he was more than eager to be with her. But he knew something was wrong. Why else would she come to him so early in the morning? He noted her ignoring his question and decided not to push it any further. He knew Ansley, when she was ready to speak, she would. Sitting down on his bed, he propped his feet up, putting himself back in the laying position. He looked around the room and blushed once more, noticing his room wasn’t in as good as shape as it was when she first visited.“Sorry, i don’t really expect visitors this early in the morning.”

[ansleycarvxr-blog]

#

contact: Wolfieringtone: Can’t Help by Parachuteimessage:

[ text: wolfie ] → you HAVE to come with me to shop for a halloween costume.

[ text: wolfie ] → it isn’t too early and i need to try on like a million before i decide on one so you have to help me or i’ll give you sad puppies eyes until you give in!

[ansleycarvxr-blog]

It hadn’t connected in her mind that Wolfgang would have been sleeping, but Ansley wasn’t one to wait for things and she knew if she waited with this one then she might as well seal her fate with the Zine. The constant state of fear was beginning to tear away at the already falling apart girl.

But he stood there, sleep in his eyes, unruly hair, and shirtless, and Ansley’s smiled became real. It was hard not to smile when she saw him. It was hard to remember that she hadn’t told him about her near drug relapse or the time she spent crying on her living room floor. Ansley didn’t want to worry him, didn’t want to pour her troubles on him. She wanted to protect him from everything the world would throw at him. Including herself.

“I’m sorry for stopping by so early, I wasn’t really thinking. Been a long night,” Ansley said with a soft laugh before she looked around the hallway. She hadn’t answered his question because she wasn’t sure. Was everything okay? “Did you want to go back to sleep? Or can I come in? I don’t really want to intrude or anything...”

The sound of knocking had caused a stir from Wolfgang, as he slowly opened his eyes. what time was it? Turning over, he slowly anaylized the clock and let out a soft sigh. 5:45 AM. Who could be knocking? Was his roommate back? He slowly sat himself up and gave his curls a little shake. Of course they were knotted from the night’s slumber, pulling a brush through it would be useless at this point. Planting his feet slowly on the floor, he forced himself to stand up, letting out a light sigh. The cold feeling of hardwood woke him up enough to realize he was only in boxers. Whoever it was, he was sure didn’t want to see a eye full of his morning wood. Pulling on a pair of pajama bottoms, he went slowly towards the door. Unlocking it slowly, he opened it up a crack. His eyes widened a bit at the sight of Ansley. Quickly closing his door again to unlock the chain lock, he opened it wide open and stepped out of the room.“Hey.” He tried to say as a yawn forced its way out of his mouth.“What’s going on? Everything okay?”

[ansleycarvxr-blog]

( @whywolfgang )

When it came, Ansley had been curled up in a little ball in her bed with the curtains open and the sun shining in to give her some warmth. It had been a rough two weeks, but she had been forcing herself to get on her feet everyday and just move. That was all she could do. But when it came, it came in the form of a little ding from her nightstand--the sound of a whistle which meant it could be only one thing. With much more effort than she needed, Ansley grabbed the phone, read the message, and clocked out.

It was the reason she ended up at Wolfgang’s dorm, leaning against the wall across from his door and gnawing on her nail in a nervous habit as she tried to decide whether or not to go through with it. The Zine was beginning to haunt her life again and Ansley wasn’t sure she could repeat what happened last time. Swallowing the urge to throw up, she pushed away from the wall and knocked on Wolfgang’s door. Her hands were shaking, forcing her to ball them up to keep it from being visible. There were nerves eating away at her core and she thought back to Bradley’s talk of worms and apple cores. This was different.

Fuck you Zine. This isn’t something I’m ready for... Ansley thought to herself, but it was heatless. It wasn’t as if the Zine was wrong. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and focused herself, smiling as she knocked a second time. When did she become so scared?

[ansleycarvxr-blog]

If Ansley listed all the strange things that occurred while at Atticus, she would end up being stuck in one place for days talking about it all. Atticus was home of weird shit and there were some things that Ansley would love to wash away clean from her memory. This day in the quad; however, would be one that Ansley would happily never take away from her memory. She might even replay it a few times. She’d been at a table, textbook propped open for her art theory class and her notebook being scribbled away at with notes that would help her on the next exam.

Already she felt like her brain was melting and she was sure that it would be impossible to stuff anything else up in there. There were a million other things she could be doing, most of which would at least give her the opportunity to be creative and having fun. If art theory wasn’t required, Ansley never would have bothered to take the class.

But thank the heavens, a distraction came in the form of Ronan--just not at all what Ansley had been expecting. The music was what caught her attention first, Ansley’s pencil dropping slowly as feet were suddenly on the table and she looked up to see hips moving and Ronan’s pretty face. Well shit. Thanks universe. Homework was long forgotten as Ansley watched the suddenly shirtless Ronan move, the boa a whisper of red at the scene playing in front of her eyes. Ansley wasn’t blind, she picked up on the parts of Ronan that were painted the colors of trauma. But she didn’t focus on those. Ansley’s smile was wide and laughing, the show everyone was watching the entertainment of the week.

Her eyes drifted down to the button of his jeans, Ansley licking her lips and wondering if he really would go that far or not. The song suddenly ended and Ronan was done, Ansley needing to remember just how in the world to breathe because fuck was that hot. She leaned forward when he draped the boa around her shoulders, Ansley eyeing Ronan up and down none too subtly before she let out a low whistle. “Ronan, that was...fuck, hold on trying to remember how to actually breathe,” Ansley said with a laugh. “That was sexy and honestly the best thing this year so far.”

The dare was proof that the zine knew something that Ronan had worked hard, and sacrificed a lot, to keep hidden. Something that only one other person knew, or so he’d hoped. –The zine either knew his biggest secret, or they wanted him to think they did. Either way, he couldn’t risk not completing their dare and being bumped to the top of their ‘to expose’ list. There was too much at stake. It was his job to protect his younger brother… even if his brother didn’t seem to appreciate all that Ronan had done to ensure he had a bright future. It was a good thing Ronan was proud of his build and hard to embarrass, or this would have been torture. 

Picking a table right in the middle of the Atticus University quad, Ronan set his backpack on the grass and swiftly started setting up his speakers. He was taking the kind suggestion of the zine and playing Sexy Silk by Jessie J. It was the kind of song that was asking to be stripped too. “This one is for Z! You know who you are,” He declared, hopping on top of the table with the itchy red boa wrapped around his neck. Ronan’s tongue dipped out of his mouth to run over the split in his lip, his hips slowly starting to rock back and forth as the first notes of the song spilled out of the speakers. 

The longer the song went on, the more he got into it. By the second choirs, the boy was mouthing the lyrics and toying with the collar of his red flannel. In one smooth pull, Ronan ripped the shirt straight down the middle. Buttons scattering in every direction. Only once he’d shrugged the thing off and tossed it into the crowd did he feel a bit of nervousness seep into his bloodstream. The right side of his torso was still badly bruised from his fall in Mexico and the kick he’d received in the boxing ring last week. He was worried that the sea of people he’d attracted with his tacky boa and stripper moves would be put off by the signs of violence written across his skin. He let out the breath he’d been holding when the only reactions he received were excited squeals and claps. 

A toothy grin was sent out to the crowd as he got his belt buckle open and popped the button of his dark blue jeans. He was teasing the zipper and giving the masses a glimpse of his black boxer briefs when the song came to an end. After a couple of bows and waves, he sat down on the table top, still shirtless with the button of his pants undone. “What did you think?” He asked, breathlessly, as he pulled off the boa and draped it around the shoulders of the person in front of him. 

[ansleycarvxr-blog]

@bradleymilligan omg tht pic is SO CUTE wtF

I just saw this AND YES IT IS SO CUTE I want a headcanon of ansley putting it on Bradley and just squealing about how cute Bradley looks in it.

[ansleycarvxr-blog]

When Ansley was little, a tiny pigtailed pre-teen stuck in the transition of puberty like every other kid her age, she’d been awkward and timid. It made her an easy target and it didn’t help that her smarts made her a lot of enemies. Eighth grade and she was learning college level courses, her mind a monster that only had interest in consuming all there was to learn in the world. Back in those days, Ansley had been chased too many times to count. Through the bullying, she’d thought herself a little trick: one little hummingbird. two little hummingbirds. three little hummingbirds.

It was the only way she’d ever been able to push the thoughts away to slap a smile on and walk away like nothing had ever happened. Her trick failed now, but it did give her some sense of peace. Words sat at the tip of her tongue, ready to come loose but she was able to hold them back in favor of just settling against Braxton with closed eyes.

She’d always been a touchy person. It was why people always questioned the friendship she had with Wyatt. Granted, they also slept together and that caused all their problems but it had never been more than that. Even with her other friends, it wasn’t uncommon to see Ansley draped all over them in the Quad or holding hands with one of them as they walked. She blamed it on the lack of affection when she was younger.

She didn’t moved away from him when she finally did speak. “I have a passion, but this bump in the road is making even that impossible. All my art turns into negativity. My sun turns into a black hole.” Ansley had already been tempted to make a series following her road to healing, but after three paintings, she’d hide them under her bed never to be seen again. “Cliche but I’m staring at the pieces of me without any idea on how to put them back together.” She finally pushed away from Braxton, but she only scooted closer to his side. “The only people who seem to care are you and Wolfgang. I can’t even tell my own best friend how much I’m suffering because I’m scared that if he knew the reason why, he wouldn’t care or would just get angry.” Ansley turned her eyes away from her knees and back to Braxton, eyes dim but strong. “What’s to stop me from taking the drugs I have hidden in my room? Just give me one good reason.” She’d hidden them there weeks ago, a challenge to herself to beat out the temptation. Now that was proving a bad idea potentially. 

Braxton wasn’t sure how long it’d take to calm Ansley down, or how long it’d take for her to even begin to feel better, but he was prepared to sit with her all night, if he had to. That was just the kind of person he was, it didn’t matter who needed help, or if he was friends with them or not. He wouldn’t ever be able to live with himself if he left someone who was so distraught - it’d only leave him imagining what they could be doing to themselves or someone else. He cared too much, he wasn’t afraid to admit that. 

Still holding the girl, Brax shook his head at her words. He almost felt like a hypocrite telling her everything would be alright, fulling knowing he was going through a similar situation, and he couldn’t even force himself to believe some of the words he was offering her. “I know,” he spoke, his words quiet. “But it’ll get better, okay? You’re not always gonna have a hole there. You’re gonna find something to fill it. You’ll find something you love and you’ll love it so much it’ll pour out of you. And you’ll want to share it with the world. You’ll have a passion.” 

Eventually, Braxton has found his passion, and though it wasn’t something his father agreed with, the male loved art. It was like as soon as he picked up a pen or a paint brush, the fog that constantly surrounded his world disappeared. He’d found something to turn to when things weren’t looking up, and he was thankful for that. It was a harmless hobby, a lot better than drowning himself in drugs and alcohol. He hoped one day Ansley would find something like that, something that brightened her whole world and made her shake with happiness. 

The words that left the girl’s mouth were enough to shatter his heart into little pieces. “You’re not broken,” he breathed, pulling her closer to him. “Don’t say that. You’re not broken.” Sure, she was going through a rough time, but that didn’t mean she was broken. “You’ll be okay, Ansley. This is just a bump in the road, right? You’ll be okay. This isn’t the end.” The blond placed his hand at the back of her head and he held her, fully hoping his embrace was offering her some form of comfort. 

[ansleycarvxr-blog]

# for ansley

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Ansley 🎨

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[ text: Ansley 🎨 ]: fuck it

[ text: Ansley 🎨 ]: my sun is going to be blue

[ text: Ansley 🎨 ]: i am incapable of mixing a nice shade of orange 

[ text: Ansley 🎨 ]: and, no, i wont just buy orange paint. my pride wont allow it.