anticristvs

[anticristvs]

｢ DEWDROP. ｣ —   he's not sure exactly why he's decided it's the perfect time to visit papa . he's used to the other slipping away the moment the curtains go down and the lights come up . and he's always told himself that it probably isn't the best idea to bother him when he's disappeared into whatever room had been prepared for him . but he's not really feeling up to socializing with the other ghouls , not really interested in whatever party they were throwing tonight . but he doesn't want to be alone .

which has him seemingly telling the third his life story .

there hasn't been a papa to really talk to , to get to know . the others seemed so serious , so focused on nothing but the ministry's needs . but terzo ... had a different energy . he was fun onstage . he acknowledged their work . and sometimes dew could even swear he saw a smile that really reached the man's eyes . he falls quiet as he stands to pour himself a glass of whatever whiskey he can find . he takes his seat and sips on the liquid before softly , " is that what we are ? an infernal flock ? just followers ... "

brows pinch and he hides his disappointment behind his glass as he takes another sip . always looking for something that isn't there , meaning that isn't hidden . he can't help it . he's always been the disappointment in everything he's done , in everywhere he's been . but if he can at least be a good follower [ even if he wants to be more than that ] , maybe he wouldn't feel so shitty about himself for a little while . " a stream ? funny ... i've been told it's grating on the nerves . "

@anticristvs asked: ❝ i don't usually talk this much, it just feels easy to say stuff when you're listening. ❞ / dewdrop @ terzo

It's a rare thing that the Third son of Nihil allows ANYONE near him after a ritual, other than perhaps the ghoul Omega or one of his brothers should they care to be there to witness it. Terzo favors solitary in the dark and quiet these days to ease the migraines and the nasty bouts of vertigo that rear their ugly head sometimes. As it turned out old age was in fact quite a bummer. However, Dewdrop had seemed to want the company and the space to speak. Truth be told, he didn't have the heart to turn the ghoul away, not after he'd made a PROMISE to himself before taking up the role of Papa that he would treat the ghouls better. Let the public know them by name if they wished to put their names out there, have moments between his singing where he'd applaud and flaunt the ghouls and their instrumental talents.

" That is what I'm here for. To lend an ear to my infernal flock even the ones with fangs. " Terzo murmurs, miter and papal robes discarded in favor of wearing his usual suit as the glass beads of his rosary CLACK between gloved nimble fingers and faux golden claws. " Don't fret over it. Your voice is like...un ruscello gorgogliante. Doesn't pierce the eardrums like some people I've met over the years. " He jokes with a throaty chuckle before setting the rosary with the grucifix charm dangling from it on the table in front of them.

" Besides, I do enjoy hearing what you ghouls have to say. " Terzo slowly rises from his seat, gesturing to the bowls of various snacks and bottles of alcohol ranging from ale to absinthe. " Help yourself, Dewdrop. Plenty to go around, staff made sure I was well-stocked. " Most likely because of his UNBECOMING little outburst last time when he couldn't find anything strong enough to help with a headache, but they didn't need to discuss that.

[anticristvs]

mobile !

wire -> anticristvs

[anticristvs]

I STILL NEED TO FINISH NAMING MY PAPAS

[anticristvs]

how in the world is copia able to make rain look beefy?

[anticristvs]

｢ MARY. ｣ —   three years ago she had told herself that it was the last time , that she was done with him . that no matter how much he cared , no matter how much love he looked at her with ... she couldn't keep breaking her own heart . she had more important things to handle , church matters that needed her . but it's amazing how much can change in the course of a couple of months . months of missed periods , nausea that she attributed to the stress of travel . but then there had been those two little lines that would change her life , and the fate of the church forever .

there had been thought given to terminating , but ... truly it was never an option . the moment she saw those lines , she knew that the dark one had a plan and that she had to trust his needs and his plan . there had been another thought given to passing the child off to someone else in the church better equipped than she for this . but as her belly started to swell ... an instinct she never thought she had took over [ how could i ever be motherly ] ?

with every kick , every shift ... she fell further in love with whatever was growing inside of her . and when she found out it was twins ? as terrified as she was she was over the moon . twins had to mean something , a blessing from the infernal one . it had been easy to nest . finding a home near the ministry where she hid until the birth of the twins , with only the psaltarians to guide and help her . the twins had to be a secret for now ... until she decided how to handle nihil ... because she owed him that .

and if she's being honest with herself ... it gives her hope .

hope that somehow they could figure this out together . hope that she hasn't felt since the first transgression . hope that burns in her soul and begs to be set free to chase the possibility . maybe it was motherhood ... she can't be sure . but as months with the boys went by , guilt began to creep . selfishness crawled alongside , the thought that maybe she could tame him . that maybe if he knew about the boys things could change , could be different . she's never lost an ounce of love despite the anger .

it's that love that has her crossing the courtyard in a far too familiar compound . that love that has her breath hitching at the sight of him , the only man to have broken her heart . it brings the everything bubbling ... anger , fear , desperation . but when he smile ... oh when he smiles , she's back in the beginning , before the pain ... before the fighting . before everything she had imagined fell apart .

he jumps from his seat and her heart skips a beat . handsome as ever and looking at her with all the hope she feels bursting in her chest . and she thinks that maybe ... maybe this time is different . maybe this time they can make it . " mary ... you know that , gianni . " soft voice accompanied with a soft smile as she moves toward him to take the offered seat . she wants to relish in this moment . this moment where she can look up at him and imagine a future that she'd thought they'd burned so many years ago .

she pats the bench beside of her , nerves building to shaking fingers as her eyes never leave him . she waits until she can shift , knees pressing to his so that she can better face him . there's so much she wants to say , so much she needs to say and , yet , intoxicated by his scent and his eyes , she doesn't know where to begin . " urgent matters require urgent meetings . " [ even if the meeting is just under three years too late ] " first ... how are you ? you've been busy and you've relocated permanently ? " [ it's a lovely , safe place to raise children . she would know ] " does your work keep you here ? "

isn't  this  a  bit  too  sentimental  for  him?  oh  ,  who  is  he  kidding.  himself  ,  apparently—  or  trying  to.  one  would  think  that  these  ancient  grounds  ,  sequestered  away  deep  in  the  italian  countryside  ,  would  offer  more  of  a  distraction  from  personal  woes.  what  with  being  dedicated  to  none  other  than  morningstar  ,  lightbringer.  but  even  the  dismal  haunting  of  hell  will  slot  itself  into  life—  not  exactly  in  a  mundane  way  ,  per  se.  but  as  something  expected.  as  normal  as  visiting  a  church  on  sunday.

nihil  had  distracted  himself  plenty  following  the  years  of  his  removal  from  showbiz  ,  from  music.  he  had  dedicated  himself  to  what  it  means  to  be  papa  ,  taking  over  an  old  organization  that  had  gone  leaderless  for  quite  some  time.  by  right  of  his  blood  and  frenzied  ardor  ,  nihil  had  mastered  the  infernal  arts  quickly  with  the  help  of  his  most  trusted  demonic  companion  ,  opus.  anything  so  that  he  would  not  think  of  her  constantly—  and  not  just  her.  his  decisions  had  entirely  altered  the  path  he'd  been  following.  a  visionary  artist  from  LA  ,  drenched  in  the  heat  of  blood  awakening  something  monstrous  within.  eyes  that  would  follow  her  ,  and  only  her.

when  he  sired  his  sons  ,  he  had  not  thought  of  it  as  a  transgression.  had  he  not  made  it  so  abundantly  clear  that  his  heart  would  only  ever  belong  to  her?  nihil  had  done  as  he  felt  was  right  ,  and  he  had  paid  the  ultimate  price.  a  throbbing  ,  gaping  hole  within  in  the  shape  of  her.  perhaps  his  shadow  had  grown  wings  and  horns  ,  but  his  heart  remains  that  of  gianni  tresca  ,  suffused  in  fierce  hunger.

she  had  cut  him  out  of  her  life  perfectly  ,  and  it  still  feels  messy.  (  he  loves  her  he  loves  her  he  loves  her  ,  he  does  )

lighting  a  match  against  the  sole  of  his  boot  ,  nihil  inhales  the  acrid  smoke  of  his  cigarette  deeply.  it  does  nothing  to  calm  the  flutter  of  nerves.  lord  below  ,  he  does  love  her.  his  hair  is  greying  now  ,  thinner  at  the  temples—  lines  edging  into  the  sharpness  of  his  features.  but  he's  still  the  man  she  met  all  those  many  years  ago  in  LA—  from  the  leather  pants  to  the  virgin  white  of  a  ruffled  shirt.  he  isn't  sure  why  he  had  decided  against  wearing  his  papal  robes.  sometimes  he  still  thinks  they  do  not  look  right.

pushing  his  sunglasses  up  on  his  head  at  her  approach  ,  nihil  cannot  and  will  not  suppress  the  smile  digging  into  gaunt  cheeks—  warmth  thawing  the  ice  of  his  glare.  'my  love'  ,  he  thinks.  ❝  sister.  ❞  he  says  ,  in  lieu  of  the  million  and  one  things  he  would  like  to  say.  ❝  do  you  wish  to  sit?  ❞  he  gestures  at  the  bench  he  had  been  perching  on  earlier  ,  hidden  away  amidst  the  ripe  wealth  of  blooming  plants—  their  scent  sweet  and  their  nectar  poisonous.  ❝  i  did  not  expect  you  to  want  to  speak  to  me  so  urgently.  what  can  i  do  for  you?  ❞  he  cannot  sequester  away  the  hope  tinting  his  voice  ,  nor  the  tenderness.  his  love  is  as  eternal  as  he  had  promised  her.

@anticristvs

[anticristvs]

a reminder , my sister imperator has adopted the name mary out of affection for mary on a cross . it's the only outward indication that she still cares for nihil .

in threads where she is willing to use that name , the [ name ] will show mary .

[anticristvs]

i'm here . i'm queer . and i'm gonna write . sorry if you were expecting a rhyme .

[anticristvs]

i make all my decisions by listening to my instinct and then keeping my fingers crossed it will lead to a good place.

[anticristvs]

｢ COPIA. ｣ —   he still isn't sure how he won her over . it's still a bit of a blur , but he's long past questioning it . he has plenty of other shit to question and wonder about [ like how to run the fucking ministry ] than why his girlfriend partner chose him . all he knows is that there is a beautiful woman in his lap who enjoys kissing him and other things . who is he to question what the dark one chose for him ? it's easier to accept her than it is the fact that he's frater .

funny how that works .

he is tired of trying to get everything right . tired of trying to make sure the ministry was kept happy at all times . his mother had lived above them , so why couldn't he ? she had relationships , children , and he's sure she wasn't the first or last . and he is so fucking tired of hiding the one thing that makse sense in all of this shit on top of shit .

so he gives in , smile pulling at lips as she peppers him in kisses . one hand moves to card through her hair at the final kiss , holding her closer so that he can nip at her bottom lip . if they were going to be public , he's going to enjoy it . " yes , really . if that is what you want , i am happy to give it to you . "

valentina  came  to  the  ministry  to  defy  her  parents .   hardworking mexican  americans ,   who  prayed  to  la  virgen  de  guadalupe  whenever  they  were  having  a  hard  time .   [ *& ]   let  her  tell  you ,   it  seemed  like  they  were  always  having  a  hard  time .   so  she  left ,   during  a  time  of  unrest  ━━  [ *& ]   that  was  during  the  cardinal's  term .   funny  how  history  repeats  itself .   now  he's  frater !   [ *& ]   without  that  washed  up  old  hag ,   valentina  can  try  [ *& ]  make  this  ministry  one  they  can  be  proud  of .

this  is  the  church  of  satan ,   after  all .   lucifer  would  thank  her  for  bringing  some  glory  here .   or [ . . . ]   something  like  it .   the  truth  is ,  val  doesn't  care  about  much  besides  power .

but  she  sowed  the  seed  [ *& ]   now  she's  reaping  the  rewards . [ *& ]   all  that  he  cares  about  is  whether  the  ministry  would  approve  for  their  new  relationship .   who  the  fuck  cares ?   valentina  was  about  to  give  him  the  push  he  needed .   it  isn't  manipulating  if  he  actually  wanted  it ,   right ?   [ *& ]   as  far  as  the  deep  deep  deep  feelings  for  him [ . . . ]   he's  cute .   but  that's  all  it  was .

she  was  about  to  roll  her  eyes  at  him  when  she  heard  him ,   as  attentive  [ *& ]  as  sweet  as  she  could  be .   oh  that  wicked  smile  of  hers  she  gave  him .   little  does  he  knew  he  just  hammered  the  last  nail  into  his  coffin .   ❝ really  ! ❞   valentina  presses  a  few  kisses  over  his  face  before  finishing  with  a  wet  one .   just  cause  she  didn't  like  him ,   didn't  mean  she  could  ignore  him .   [ *& ]  whether  he  knows  it  or  not ,   he  would  soon  give  her  the  ministry  with  that  kiss .

[anticristvs]

mobile . distract me on discord and wire <3

discord -> codeflawed wire -> anticristvs

[anticristvs]

@muutos ( rain ) said : ❝  keep your eyes on me—  just focus on me.  we’re gonna be okay.  ❞

｢ DEWDROP. ｣ —   there's a reason dew has had a rule since the beginning of the tour to never go to the same club twice . but that had been before rain . before he'd given up running , before he'd decided that even if his heart got broken , it would be worth it to have loved him . he never wanted to risk running into a one nighter or someone he'd made out with in the bathroom or anyone else that might cause a bit of an awkward encounter [ even before rain ] .

but things are different now . he's not the same ghoul who was here before . he has rain hanging off of his arm and everything feels right in the world . truly , there is no one in that club other than him , no one who has his attention except rain . he doesn't need anyone else , doesn't need a stranger's touch , doesn't need the high of not knowing a name , doesn't crave anything or anyone except for the ghoul he has his ass backed against . the ghoul who has his hands roaming chest and hips as dew tilts his head to brush a quick kiss against rain's jaw .

he doesn't have a moment to register where his name is being shouted from , stilling his body and pulling his head from his ghoul's shoulder to glance around . he doesn't recognize anyone . not really . everyone looks the same under club lights . there isn't time to stop the woman throwing her arms around his neck and planting a wet kiss on his lips . dew freezes . hands at his side and eyes wide as the woman hums against his lips .

[ oh fuck ohfuck ohfUCK oh fUck]

eternity seems to pass before he finds his own body . hands reach to untangle her arms from around his neck and to push her away . he's not gentle . he doesn't want rain to think he's enjoying a goddamn second of this . he doesn't care that the woman looks beyond offended or that she has hands on her hips with a look that says she's considering if he's worth slapping .

he doesn't give her the chance before he's peeling himself from rain's arms and power walking towards the patio entrance of the bar . he stumbles , breath hissing as cold air hits bare skin . dew collapses onto an empty bench , feeling as if his lungs are about to explode . hands are shaking even as they reach up to wipe lipstick off his face , eyes tearing at the smell of unfamiliar perfume . there's a frozen moment in time when rain drops to his knees in front of him , hands quickly moving to cup his face , ice meeting fire and he feels like he can at least catch his breath .

dew manages to choke out , " i don't remember her ... i didn't - " hands shake as he balls them into fists to press against his knees . it isn't the first time someone has made assumptions , but it is the first time it's happened with rain and he doesn't want this to be the end . / keep your eyes on me - just focus on me . we're gonna be okay. / the words bring a full breath of air as he looks down at the other . he knew his past was going to come back to bite him in the ass at some point . " i wanna go home , rain . i'm sorry . "

[anticristvs]

mom pushed back shopping an hour which still doesn't give me time to do much of anything . ugh .

on the bright side , i'm forcing her to listen to skeleta on the way there and on the way back .

[anticristvs]

gonna be on discord and wire the rest of the night . i'll be around tomorrow after clothes shopping with my mom ( which will hopefully not end in tears or triggering body dysmorphia ) .

bother the dumb dumbs wire -> anticristvs discord -> codeflawed

[anticristvs]

[anticristvs]

( #ANTICRISTVS )  —    it's the cruel beast that you feed. it's your burning yearning need to bleed. through the spillways. you keep a casket buried deep within. you try to mask it, but fall back in sin. you wanna shake it off, but you're stuck inside. when stripped of rags of skin and spine, human decay, corpus dei, terminally dispelled. and it's such a ride. all your faith, all your rage, all your pain, it ain't over now.

                                                          —    and i ain't talking about forgiveness

faithfully worshipped by mox

[anticristvs]

@muutos ( rain ) said : i can't ... i can't feel my -

｢ COPIA. ｣ —   no one had warned him what summoning a ghoul would be like . he was handed a book , told the ritual , and left to his own devices because of course cardinal copia could handle one fucking summoning on his own . he had been employee of the month more times than anyone other than the old fart . summoning a ghoul shouldn't be an issue , shouldn't be difficult , shouldn't carry any surprises .

oh how fucking wrong he was .

he had studied the ritual . had studied every possible outcome . read nothing about the negatives as it should have been easy . it's not as if he has a choice in the ghoul he plucks from the bowels of hell . so why bother preparing for any one in particular ? it's halfway through the ritual that he thinks that maybe he should have at least looked at the what to expect section . [ too late for that cardi ] . too late to take the ritual any where other than his own bedroom . but he'd wanted somewhere private [ in case he did something really fucking stupid ] , and as the floor seems to open up , he's thankful he did because the shock knocks him back on his ass as he watches a figure practically spit out of the flames to roll onto the floor .

eyes widen at gills and webbing , hands practically clawing at its throat . copia knows panic when he sees it . he's seen it enough times in the mirror . he scrambles across the floor as the ghoul quite literally flops like a fish out of water . he doesn't think , doesn't worry , despite teeth clamping onto his arm as he scoops the water ghoul into his arms before stumbling to his feet to take them to the couch . / i can't ... i can't feel my - /

copia drops to his knees at the side of the couch hands hovering over the curve of the ghoul's hip . concern fills his eyes as he studies them , ignoring the blood trickling down his own skin . " breathe , tesoro . breathe with me . " a slow rhythm as hands finally begin to move against the other's skin , looking for any damage , any injuries . fuck ... he should have read the fucking warnings . content that there are no visible injuries , the cardinal's hand moves to card through the ghoul's hair in an attempt at comfort . " sei al sicuro . i will not leave you . "

[anticristvs]

｢ COPIA. ｣ —   he has spent his entire life alone . he's worn his loneliness like a shield , protecting him from feeling anything that might break him . from a young age , he had felt things stronger than others . the psaltarians had been concerned , but that had quickly faded when he began to excel in his academic pursuits . if he didn't have friends , he could have his studies . it was easy to convince himself that this was the life he needed . a life of servitude , a life of ensuring the dark one had a solid footing in the world .

and he was goddamn good at it !

but that didn't change the loneliness . it didn't change that every cardinal he met , every ghoul who appeared for a duty ... they were all kept at arm's length . he had been taught that attachments were weakness , that his mother had known that and that was why she'd left him behind . why his brother had been taken from him . attachments ... you couldn't be too careful . but that very same mother had been watching . making sure he was exactly what she wanted . she molded him , shaped him , turned him into the man she needed him to be and he'd followed without question and [ he hates that he misses her but satanas does he miss her ] walks the line of the dark one .

it should be her he's angry at . and maybe he is but she's yet to show herself for more than a moment at a time , never long enough for him to ask her about his childhood , his twin , the life he could have had . and he had spent far too long angry with nihil his father over things he could not control . and now all of that anger and frustration has shifted to the one person who could even begin to understand the hurt , the abandonment . how fucked was he to take it out on the person that should be just as angry as he ?

" prego fratello . " he offers a slight bow as the other steps into the room . he takes a moment to turn towards the door as he closes it , trying to gather himself and his breath and remind himself that it isn't perpetua's fault . it was never perpetua's fault . " it is , eh , more private than that shit of an office they have me in . " he says as he turns to face the other , as if he owes any sort of explanation . he's frater . but it feels almost embarrassing to have no where comfortable to offer her .

he keeps his back to the door but doesn't move further into the room , anxiety peaking as he struggles to find words , struggles to hold even the easiest conversation . he's thankful when she speaks . " slow days are benedizione dell'inferno . they are not very common . especially when you and the ghouls are ... rocking the world . " don't pay any attention to his air quotations . " we have more requests , more inventory . and no one seems to know how to handle their own shit . " the frustration helps as he finally takes a step further into the room , arms loosely crossed .

the papa's question brings a soft smile to his lips . this must be what his father meant when he said he would be a resource . it's ... good to feel needed , even if it's for advice . " it is ... the most overwhelming thing that i have ever done . " he moves further into the room until he can rest his palms on the back of a chair , leaning to get himself comfortable . " there was no guidebook and i had no one to ask and i had a father who i did not know was a father telling me that i would be nothing but a disappointment . " a scoff , a voice in the back of his head questioning why he's giving her his life story . " spite , fratello . spite . "

Where Copia has been apprehensive and closed off from letting them in as his sibling, Perpetua had felt the exact OPPOSITE. They were the one more than open to spread their arms for an embrace of acceptance and let any brewing hostilities between them wash away. Dichotomy of twins, always contrasting one another but not so dissimilar to be strangers. The burning sun eclipsed by the cold moon, and yet having one without the other would set the earth into a chaotic IMBALANCE. Whether it by some thread of fate binding them together or the mere shared blood that flows in their veins didn't matter, they needed each other.

Family. Family to Perpetua had always been something complicated, always somewhere they didn't feel they ever truly belonged as much as they tried over the years to make the irregular puzzle pieces fit. A life raised in the teachings and belief of Christ. An UNORTHODOX one at that, her father had been the priest of their church. A Catholic priest with a wife and two children. Oh, how people loved to WHISPER about that. They whispered more in knowing that she was not her father's nor mother's brood. Perpetua tried to tune them out, ignore the stares, the comments directed towards an innocent child that did not ask to be torn from their twin's side, but even as they studied and became a priest themselves after their father's passing, that never stopped. ( You will never be clean of sin no matter which mask you choose to hide behind. )

" Grazie, Cardi. " Perpetua dips their head RESPECTFULLY, the tension held in their shoulders leaving as soon as Copia unlocks the door for them, going so far as to pull it open and invite them inside. It was a complete turnaround to what they had been expecting, but not an unwelcome one. It's the sound of their CHOSEN name leaving Copia's mouth for the first time that shocks them the most, causing them to quite literally stop in their tracks and do a slight double take as if Copia had said something outrageous. Up until today it had been 'V this, V that. Fucking V.' They told themselves long ago there were no more tears left to be shed over matters concerning family, but they were admittedly close to breaking it right now. Instead there's a hint of a smile on meticulously painted lips, an emotion caught between joy and relief as they look upon their brother.

" How nice it must be to have slow days. I feel like the past several weeks have gone by in a blur. Barely enough room to blink. " Perpetua murmurs with a slight hint of humor in their tone, deciding not to OUTWARDLY acknowledge the little breakthrough they've just had with each other for fear of having their brother cower back behind the safety of the walls he'd built around him. " Don't get me wrong, fratello, I adore doing this more than anything I've done in my life...but how did you deal with it when you took over? You may not have been Papa yet, but you filled the role just the same. It's all so much at once. "