anxietywriter

[anxietywriter]

“my teenage child is so selfish” is an interesting thing I only see online moms say about their daughters. I’ve never seen one say it about their son. I think it’s because daughters enter the teenage years and begin developing critical thinking skills and independence and it enrages these parents who were using their kids as their own little therapists and unpaid domestic laborers.

[anxietywriter]

i think it's really jarring as an experience to both love and resent your parent(s)

like yeah i think she's beautiful when she laughs and i'm happy she's able to relax and rest and i almost cried when she told me i could do anything on my birthday and i feel sad when she's sad and i want to take care of her when she's older and i want to make sure she lives comfortably for the rest of her life and she's taken care of us for so long and works so hard and

the blade twists in my stomach

like yeah she's taken away so much of my bodily autonomy, yeah she's been an absent parent, yeah she disregards my feelings and emotions when she disagrees with them, yeah she makes me feel as though i cannot like certain things or dress a certain way because she believes that girls should act a certain way, yeah she makes me feel as though if she knew i were queer she would love me less, yeah she makes me feel as though i cannot step out of line with what she wants me to be, yeah i feel like she enables my abusive father and silences us to obey him for the sake of normalcy, yeah i feel that way

what a blade

to make me both love and hate its wielder.

[anxietywriter]

carrion

i worry that if you tore me asunder flesh apart from bone that there'd only be rot underneath flesh half-decayed

the rancid stench settling to the ground like a fog do not dare approach It will cling to you

you will be rotten too

i worry that the roots would reject my corpse refusing my only chance at burial the earth would not give me flowers

laid bare atop the dirt

i worry my blood will stain the soil as though the earth could choke on the same iron i do

[anxietywriter]

I'M ALIVE I JUST WENT TO ASIA AND CAME BACK YAYAYYAYAYAYAYA

i mad need to work on my senior thesis lowk and im doing a lil more work to get money and also my sister paid for us to go to a concert pls be sososo patient with me

anyways i'm gonna yap about my thesis ideas bc i'm nervous and need to flesh them out more

ME-YOWWW! - A cereal brand with rockstar cats as the mascots, with each cat representing a different flavor and likely there will be a box with all of them as a mixed flavor. The audience would be for children who like music (5-12) and the idea is that when you eat the cereal you can start your day feeling like a rockstar. would probably be sugary cereal ngl haha i'm not sure if i want custom shapes like stars or something we'll see. i've been mainly visioning like trix.

VITALS (WIP) - A fashion brand (shirts with linocut stamped designs probably) focusing on death and decay. Not just death and decay though but the idea of accepting death as a part of the cycle of life and celebrating it as something that can be beautiful and not just terrible. there is something bittersweet. about the idea that this thing was once dead. but it was also once alive. yet it is also forever immortalized as a design.

Marina's (WIP) - An upscale seafood restaurant that also operates as an aquarium, with its signature fish being a shark (likely hammerhead). The menu and tickets will take on an elegant, minimalistic dark sea theme (or shallow beach? bc that's where hammerheads live but i want to reference the depth of the ocean) The menu itself will offer various types of seafood, likely various fish, shrimp, scallops, and calimari. The menu is fixed except for maybe a special that swaps out each day. i have to research more about fancy restaurants ahhh

[anxietywriter]

crazy that the misogyny in my household about women not being able to do man's job extends so deep that my mom and dad are convinced that i cannot change my license plate by myself

like

just unscrew the screws holding it in with a flathead

taking out the old license plate

putting the new one in place

and screwing it back in

i literally did it in like ten minutes what the fuck

and i know it's sexism and not just my parents thinking oh my child might need help with this because my brother, who is only a year and a half older than me, just went out and did his no problem with no fuss from either of my parents

[anxietywriter]

in case it needs to be said again

[anxietywriter]

if i don't post a prompt (or two who knows heheehehe) it's because of a combination of me being sleepy and me trying to last minute pack for a month long vacation that i definitely should NOT be last minute packing for

[anxietywriter]

moth man a man made up of moths

this is for me so I don't forget ignore me

[anxietywriter]

there is a genuine euphoria that i feel when my other parent finally makes a change that will stop enabling my abusive parent

like literally let's fucking go i've waited YEARS for this moment

[anxietywriter]

i am having a bad day of mild inconvenience after mild inconvenience ourg this wouldn't have happened if i had my weekly dose of 'hanging out with my friends' but apparently my boss loves capitalism too much

[anxietywriter]

Dialogue Prompt #149 || Weekly

"Do you really not think they're cute? At all?"

"... I think you deserve better."

[anxietywriter]

Hi, I noticed your story has conflict in it, and I was wondering why you didn't just write people who are right doing everything correctly with a note saying "I enthusiastically co-sign everything in this story"? Must be some kind of mistake haha

[anxietywriter]

damn imagine being a whole ass adult in your 20's and knowing that your mom works 55+ hour weeks all the fucking time and still comes home to cook dinner and do the dishes left in the sink

and you can't even be assed to clean your own bathroom or do YOUR OWN dishes things you know your mom has specifically requested you to do

no you let that shit fester and grow mold and put it in the sink and then your mom cleans it

AND WHEN YOU DO HAVE A DAY OR TWO OFF YOU DON'T EVEN DO ANYTHING YOU DON'T CLEAN YOU DON'T DO DISHES YOU DON'T HELP WITH DINNER WHY

i'm going to go insane what the fuck

[anxietywriter]

Dialogue Prompt #148 || Weekly

"Just tell me you hate me. You don't have to spare my feelings anymore."

"... You think I hate you?"

[anxietywriter]

writing truly is creating like twenty different drafts with the same idea trying to marinate in it and figure out how to make it sound Right (tm) and then at 1am you become possessed by the Urge and suddenly you're writing out the idea except now it's Right.

[anxietywriter]

selfish

i want for everything i want for a comfortable life i want for good health i want for rest i want him

and gods i feel so selfish

i want for everything

everything i can touch can find can feel can take

i want to take it to grasp it in my hands hold it fast hold it tight

instead i lie awake wanting, begging, hoping

i want for everything

but gods should i really feel so selfish? for merely wanting

[anxietywriter]

Dialogue Prompt #147 || Weekly

"... You know, you make it really hard to hate you."