aoneee

[aoneee]

Lucid Dream: Chapter 1

"Stop it!"

I heard Mama squeal with laughter while they hit each other playfully. Papa kept going with a funny look on his face. I can't help but join in and hit him as well.

"Bad Papa! Stop hurting Mama." I wiggled my arms, which seemed to be a soft smack to him. They can't help but wheeze at the sight.

Mama, Papa, and Big Sister are the best! Mama and Papa would always carry me and give me a piggyback ride. Papa also invites Big Sis and I to walk to the flowing river. It's super duper fun with the little fishes! We would walk hand in hand and look at the pretty pink and red flowers on the tall green trees. I would always feel sad whenever we went home because I wanted to go back and see the fish.

One time, Papa even gave us a cute orange duck toy! It was late at night, I wonder where he came from. He comes every night in a white polo, black pants, and brown old shoes, and he also brings us a lot of foods and candies! Well, anyway, I really liked the orange duck because it speaks whenever you press its belly! Sooooo fun~

Days, weeks, months, and years go by, we had those amazing times together. Until one day, Mama said that she would tell something to me and Big Sis. She looked really sad.

So I asked, "Mama, what's wrong?"

"Francine, Mama has something to tell you and your Big Sis, okay?"

"What is it, Mama?" Big Sis Roseanne asked.

"Papa will be away for a while because he has to do something far away. But don't worry, Mama will be here, okay?"

"When will Papa come back?"

"Roseanne, he will come back in no time. He even promised to call us every day while he was away."

I guess Papa will just be going out for a short while, like buying milk from the store! I wonder why Mama looks sad. She said Papa wouldn't be long. But I guess Papa will be away to give us another cute toy! I can't wait.

Days later, I saw Papa getting ready. I noticed a super duper big box bag! I even heard Mama say something to Papa about 'flayt'. I don't know what that means, but I'm pretty excited about the new toy he'll give us.

Minutes later, Mama called.

"Roseanne! Francine! Say goodbye to your Papa."

"Bye Papa!" I said while waving my hand at him.

"We'll see you soon, Papa!" Big Sis added.

Papa leaned near us and gave us a warm embrace. "Papa will miss you, my children."

When he ended the hug, he went to give Mama a small kiss. So sweet!

As he walked out the door, Big Sis, Mama, and I kept waving our hands until he got into the white car for our final goodbyes.

[aoneee]

Lucid Dream: Chapter 2

2 years, 1 month, 2 weeks, 3 days, 5 hours, 32 minutes, and 8 seconds. Right at the doorstep, I see Papa! Although he didn't fulfill his promise of calling us every day, Big Sis, Mama, and I are happy that he's home! We want to give him a biiig warm hug to welcome him back home.

"Welcome home, Papa!" Big Sis and I tackled Papa's legs with our arms wrapped tightly around his waist.   "Papa's back! Thank you for the warm welcome, girls." Papa grinned as he ruffled our hair affectionately.   "Eh, Papa?! I just brushed my hair this morning…" I complained for the mess he made on my hair.   "Whoops! Sorry sweetie. I only get to see your hair brushed once in a blue moon. Maybe you're tidying up for someone else, ha?" Papa asked while getting on his knees to match our height.    "She's so excited to greet you that she actually made an effort to look her best, that's why, darling." Mama explained to Papa.   "I see. Oh, and look, Francine, Roseanne, I have a surprise for you two!" Papa opens the balikbayan box from his bag.   "Wooowww! There are so many chocolates!" Big Sis and I squealed in unison as we bawled our eyes at the sight of the piled packs and boxes of branded chocolates. We hum in delight at how yummy it tastes, since we're pretty much only accustomed to Choco-Mucho chocolates. Eeevery bite is worth it~ But that's not all! He also brought a bunch of soaps, perfumes, and lotions.   "And Roseanne, I have another surprise for you!" Papa said.    "Oh! What is it, Papa?"   "I got you a laptop~" Father said in a singsong tone.   "Thank you so much, Papa!" Big Sis happily jumps from the gift.   "Papa, where's mine?" I looked around for more gifts that Papa might have brought.    "Francine, dear, you'll get yours next time. Don't be so greedy now." Papa said with a frown. I kind of felt unhappy, but I guess I'll get mine next time. I still have a phone, so I think I should appreciate what I already have. But Papa's frown really put me off. Did my question make him mad? Did I just behave like a bad kid? I really hope not…

-oOo-

"Francine! Roseanne! It's time for dinner." Mama shouted.

I looked at the clock, it's already 8 PM! Big Sis and I proceeded to go downstairs to be welcomed with a greet.

"Come have a seat and let us eat." Papa invited us to the table.

As soon as we sat down, Papa asked me to lead the prayer.

"…and Amen."

Everyone gathered to get some food. I immediately took a few ham and hotdog. These are my favorite~ I'm glad Mama cooked some!

Papa stared at me with a side eye while he was taking a scoopful of Braised Fish.

"Francine, why don't you have these fish and vegetables?"

"But I don't like fish, Papa."

"Why? Look at your Big Sis, she's eating healthy unlike you." I can't help but look down with a long face and feel guilty. I really don't know what to say, so I just kept silent.

"You keep eating fried, porky, and unhealthy foods. You look fat, can't you see yourself?" He added.

"Darling, don't say that. You'll make her cry. Let her have what she wants." Mama defended me.

"How can she learn if you would let her? She'll grow up spoiled like that."

"It's not like that. Besides, she eats Sinigang or Tilapia whenever I cook some. You can't scold her for eating unhealthy."

"Ah, whatever."

Papa's argument lost my appetite completely. I only played with the food and I can't enjoy it anymore. It hurt my feelings, but I guess Papa is right. Maybe it really is my fault for not eating healthy like Big Sis. I should have known better.

[aoneee]

Lucid Dream: Chapter 3

I just went home from school. It was veeery tiring, especially the math class. Well, I can just ask Big Sis later to teach me about the multiplication table. 7 times 6 always really gets me, and now I already forgot about it.

I looked at the clock to see that it was already 12:36 PM. I saw Mama washing the plates by the kitchen, so I came near her.

"Mama, mano po." I reached for her hand and placed it on my head.

"Oh, Francine!  Welcome home. You should go eat lunch first."

"Also, tell your Big Sis to eat already. She hasn't eaten yet." Mama ordered.

"Okay, Mama!"  I agreed with a nod.

Soon after I finished eating, I went to my room and saw Big Sis on her laptop. I guess she's doing her homework.

"Big Sis, Mama asked me to tell you to eat already. I already had lunch, and the food's still on the table."

"What did you eat?"

"Mama cooked some adobo."

"Alrightyyy."  Big Sis went downstairs to eat.

I decided to do my math homework. I was memorizing counting by 7 to 9. Several minutes later, I suddenly heard Papa shouting. I really don't know what's going on, so I went downstairs to see. While doing so, I heard Big Sis' loud cry. I can't help but feel nervous. I also heard Mama's footsteps hastily going downstairs. I guess she did hear the loud noises downstairs. And there I saw Papa by the kitchen, yelling at Big Sis.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU WASH THE DISHES, HUH?" Big Sis didn't answer. Her tears kept falling as she kept her silence.

"AS SIMPLE AS THIS CHORE, YOU CAN'T EVEN DO IT. WHAT? YOU JUST DEPEND ON US DOING ALL THE WORK, HUH?"

"You don't want to answer, huh?" Papa grabbed his slippers.

"Papa!"  Big Sis screamed and wept horribly in fear.

"THEN ANSWER ME!" Papa took the plastic cup from the table and threw it on the ground, making a loud sound. Big Sis and I can't help but flinch. I was shocked by the sight. A shiver ran down my spine as I froze in horror.

"What's happening?!" Mama asked worriedly and stopped Papa from doing any more harm.

I saw Big Sis on the floor, crying hard and on her knees out of strength. I can't help but cry too. It was a horrible sight to see, and I couldn't calm down.

[aoneee]

Lucid Dream: Chapter 4

The clock ticked, and I noticed it was already 8 p.m. It's time for dinner. I scoff to myself, "Do I really have to go down there?" It's much better to wait for them to finish before I eat dinner. I guess I'll just have to tell them that I need to do my homework.

Then, I saw Mama come into our room. "Come on, girls, let's eat dinner."

"But, Mama, I still have to finish my homework." I protested.

"I'll help you do it later. Let's eat first, okay?" It's hard to turn Mama down, so I gave up, even though eating meals with Papa feels like a chore.

As we went downstairs, I sat down at the table quietly and prayed. Not a single word came out of my mouth. I tried to eat my food as fast as I could so that I could get out of this room quickly.

"You seem quiet, Francine?" I flinched as Papa asked.

"I'm just sleepy, Papa."

"Alright. Before you go, I have something to say, girls."

"What is it, Papa?" Big Sis asked.

"In a few weeks, I'll be returning to Saudi Arabia to work again." Well, Papa did earn more as an OFW seaman than as an employee at a food and beverage company when we were just kids.

"When I leave, help your mama here always, alright? Especially in house chores."

"Always study well for your future. If you don't, I will have you leave this house. I wouldn't care what happens to your life. Suffer the consequences."

"Do you understand, children?" Papa looked at us with warning eyes.

"Yes, Papa. We will."

I feel irritated as he says that. I quickly finished my food and went upstairs. What a way to spoil the mood. He acts as if nothing happened earlier in the afternoon. He didn't even ask for forgiveness, and now he warns us to suffer in life without his support. Hah, this is too much to deal with.

-oOo-

Weeks later, it was time to say goodbye.

"Goodbye, Papa." Big Sis and I bid Papa farewell.

I decided not to see him out as he walked away to go to his flight.

[aoneee]

Lucid Dream: Chapter 5

After two years, I see him again coming back from another country. In those years, I guess Mama has been contacting Papa frequently. But not with me. I mostly ignore his message. Or when having a conversation, I try to finish the small talks as quickly as possible.

"Mano po, Papa." Big Sis and I went to Papa as he arrived.

"Thank you, girls." He proceeded to carry his luggage and boxes. Just like when he arrived 2 years ago, he also had this large balikbayan box full of souvenirs.

I quietly watch him unpack. Would you look at that? He brought the same things as last time, chocolates, perfumes, lotions, name it.

"Francine." Papa called me.

"Yes, Papa?"

"Remember when I told you that next time you'll get a laptop?"

"Here you go." He gave a what seemed to be a brand new gray HP laptop.

"Thank you, Papa."

"Take care of it, okay? I won't buy you a new one if you don't."

"Yes, I will."

Well, I guess he's not that bad. He even remembered about his promise years ago. Maybe he does care. Besides, maybe I was just a brat years ago, and became angry at him. Or maybe he changed? I hope so.

-oOo-

Days after his arrival, it was lunchtime. We were eating. Papa suddenly asked,

"Roseanne, Francine, I noticed you're on your room all day, with you laptop and phones. Didn't I told you to help your mama in house chores?"

"You're always on your screens. Even just a bit of help, you can't provide? You're useless in this damned house."

"But darling, they're using their phones and laptops for their assignments and projects. You can't just say that they're useless because they're always on their room doing what they need at school." Mama protested.

"And besides, I want them to focus on their studies, even if it means that I'll do most of the housework." Mama added.

"Ah, whatever. You two, you should cook dinner everyday so that you'll have any use. It's up to you how you'll exchange chores, whatever." He stands from his seat indicating that he has finished eating.

I was clenching my fist, trying to contain my anger. How dare he call us useless? Does he even know the hardship we have to do at school just to achieve the academics with honors? Even if I am only a 14 year old, I can't even get a proper sleep due to many writings, assignments, and projects, much less Big Sis who has bigger and harder projects. I became so dejected and furious about his insensitive statement.

-oOo-

A few weeks later, Mama was acting strange. She was in her bed the whole day, with her back facing whenever I check up on her.

"Francine." Mama called. I saw her swollen eyes and wet face, like she went from crying. I proceed to ignore it as I don't want Mama to worry because of me worrying about her.

"Yes, Mama?"

"Can you or your Big Sis cook your meal tonight? It's up to you to cook what food you want. And you should eat first, don't wait for Mama and Papa, okay? I just want to talk to your father for a while."

"Okay, Mama!"

Big Sis and I cooked a meal and went straight ahead to eating. We were talking as we eat until we heard some things continue falling and bumping. We also heard a faint noise of our parents arguing. So we went to check what's up.

"HOW DARE YOU CHEAT ON ME?! NOT ONCE, BUT TWICE!" Mama said in rage.

"WHY ARE YOU ACCUSING ME? IT'S NOT MY FAULT."

"ACCUSING YOU? REALLY? I JUST SHOWED YOU EVIDENCES OF YOU CHEATING. I EVEN CALLED YOUR MISTRESS. AND REALLY? YOU GIVE HER 75K WHILE YOU CAN'T EVEN GIVE 1 CENT IN THIS FAMILY!"

"WELL IF IT IS SUCH AN ISSUE TO YOU THEN GO FIND A MAN AS WELL!"

Mama slapped Papa in the face. And in fury, Papa pushed Mama to the ground. He grabbed the glass bottle near him and threw it on the ground. The glass shattered into pieces, as broken as this family and our feelings. I was horribly crying and I feel helpless. I want to stop them but I can't. I'm scared. I take it back Papa didn't change at all. He is nothing but a venom that has poisoned our hearts all throughout the years.

"STOP IT!"

I heard Mama scream while he hits her. Papa kept going with a fuming look on his face. I can't help but think,

"Bad Papa. Stop hurting Mama."

To be continued...

Book 1 END.