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Annie: I’m here for the cult stuff.

Random Cultist: How did you find us?

Annie: I saw your ad on craigslist...and also the name is on the outside of the building

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Jean: I was thinking-

Connie: oh yeah? I tried that once, never really cared for it

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*arguing*

Hanji: *takes off glasses* I don't want to see you right now

Levi: ??

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Eren: do you trust me?

Levi: no

Eren: ill take that as a yes

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Mikasa: Hold up, are you flirting with me?

Eren: Um, no?

Mikasa: Well you should.

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yo i’m back, sorry for keeping everyone waiting I hope y’all aren’t too mad at— *gunshot*

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Connie, to everyone: you guys are literally swagless it's embarrassing

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Armin: You know, when I said 'bring me back something from the coast' I meant like a seashell or something.

Eren, struggling to hold onto a seagull: Well how was I suppose to know??

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Levi: I made my therapist cry

Hanji: that means you win

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Hanji: Levi gave me a pretty rock!

Levi: I threw it at you.

Hanji: He's so sweet.

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Levi: i’m 50% fashion, 70% skills, and 80% murder

Eren: that’s 200%

Levi: that’s right, and twice the man you’ll ever be

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Sasha: *eating in the McDonalds play area*

*some kid staring at her*

Sasha: McFuck you looking at?

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Falco: it's like my only talent is breathing

Gabi: don't be ridiculous

Gabi: you have asthma

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Eren: what do you think's gonna happen when Levi gets back?

Armin: hold on, let me overthink this

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Hanji: We have good news and bad news.

Erwin: Bad news first.

Hanji: The fire we started in the barracks is out of control.

Erwin, shrieking: THE WHAT?!?!

Levi, holding a perfectly toasted pop tart: Wow, so you don’t even care about the good news.

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Armin: I saw two kids in a fist fight, so I had to step in

Mikasa: that's a good thought-

Armin, holding up his broken arm: I didn't stand a chance will you please take me to the hospital

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Ymir: what are your goals?

Historia: to pet every dog

Ymir: no, I mean fitness goals

Historia: to be strong enough to hold all dogs and pet them