apelcat

[apelcat]

If we go with the headcanon that a fragment of Dean’s soul settled on Cas’s grace when he pulled him out of Hell, I like to think it affected them kind of like it did Chuck and Sam..

That sometimes Dean gets visions in the form of Cas’s memories even if he doesn’t realize it’s because of him

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Oh, it’s evil, babe. The way you let your grace enrapture me.

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I can't live without them :_(

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Ur my favorite artist! When I look at ur pictures my heart goes VAVOOM!!!!! 😭😭😭 Thank you sm I'm ur really big fan💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙 I LOVE ur art!!! Especially destiel they're my everything (ur destiel's breathtaking 💘💘💘)

Awwww thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Really cool to hear someone’s into my drawings hehe

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The Empty kicked Cas out after just five minutes of him whining about Dean

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coffee ⤷ for Lyn @10x02‘s follower celebration

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i woke up and i was trying to kill you

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You've had a fight with your best friend and you're going fishing because, despite the fight, you miss your pookie

Season 15 I love you, so silly and adorable

Daily Destiel 💙💚

I had a friend who always praised fishing for its meditative qualities. Wish I found it more relaxing. 😔🥺🎣

[apelcat]

Inktober Day 4 : Back from Hell

[apelcat]

how is supernatural so unapologetically queer like. cOME ON

it's 9.10 ("Road Trip") and Crowley is using Sam's head as a pin cushion so they can talk to Sam without Gadreel listening in. which is obviously not something that Dean can bear for more than a few minutes, so he walks away on the very visible verge of having a breakdown about this whole mess!! and Castiel follows him, and Dean who is infamous for never reaching out when he's in pain does not push him away or pretend he's not in agony!!

there is a generous amount of eye-fucking, but there's also Dean being completely honest about how guilt is eating him alive, which isn't something he tells anyone about! usually he shoves it down for later, because he feels even worse about burdening others with his own pain and regret. after all, doesn't he deserve it!! didn't he do this to himself every time he fell short!! he's not going to give himself the mercy of leaning on someone else, because he doesn't get to. not after failing. he doesn't get to tell someone else about how painfully inadequate and guilty and exhausted he feels, because he doesn't get to share the burden or be understood.

but then,

DEAN.- Cas, I'm sorry (...). Kicking you out of the bunker. That's uh... You know, not telling you about Sam. CASTIEL.- You thought his life was at stake. DEAN.- Yeah, I got played. CASTIEL.- I thought I was saving Heaven. I got played too. DEAN.- So you're saying we're both a couple of dumbasses? CASTIEL.- I prefer the word "trusting". Less dumb, less ass.

in waltzes Castiel with his own mistakes and crushing guilt, and two sentences are all he needs to do to comfort Dean. why does he get through to Dean when Sam has been unable to for 9 seasons now? what is it about this Angel of the Lord in a trenchcoat?

see, Dean thinks himself inferior to Sam in many ways. he couldn't follow his heart like Sam did, he couldn't stand up to their father like Sam did, he isn't fundamentally good at his core like Sam is—or so he tells himself. but Castiel. oh, Castiel, angel of Tuesday, he who fell from grace. he whose good intentions unleashed the Leviathan on Earth, he who thought he did not deserve to be saved and let go of Dean's hand.

what sets Castiel apart, time and time again, is the extent to which Dean trusts him as an equal. sure, he's an angel whereas Dean is a human hunter, but that's the least important thing about who they are in each other's eyes. the exchange above makes me feral because it shows, once more, just how deeply Dean trusts Castiel and values his angel's opinion of him. Sam would have never made Dean snap out of it in just two sentences, let alone make him smile, but Castiel? Castiel pulls it off like it's as easy as breathing. like he was born to ease Dean's pain.

they see themselves in each other's suffering, they are each other's mirror, they are their father's little soldiers who could never be enough, they keep trying oh so desperately to save the world and their kind, they both refuse to give up on protecting others even when it tears their heart apart.

only Dean can get through to Castiel with an "I need you"

only Castiel can get through to Dean with an "I got played too"

(...see, you are not fundamentally bad, I trusted the wrong people in my desperation to save the world too)

only Castiel is Dean's equal in every way that matters. only Dean is Castiel's mirror as he stumbles through the vastness of human nature. only Dean and Castiel are each other's tether in a world that keeps tugging at them in the hopes that it'll rip them to shreds, and the CW might be queerblind but I am sure as fuck not.

[apelcat]

What if I was bloody and beaten on my knees while you (brainwashed) tried to kill me and instead of begging for my life I begged for you to come back to me because “I need you”, and that broke you out of your brainwashing spell thing.

But no homo.

[apelcat]

was inspired by luna lu’s anatomy of a hug

yeah

[apelcat]

God, I love Jack and Dean. I'm so sad that because of all the drama they didn't get much screen time, but Dean is absolutely enjoying the role of a carefree dad while Jack is glowing like a lightbulb

Cas ended up with a crazy family

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My characters. I love them...

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Dean talking about Cas

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Metatron to Castiel: Find a wife. Make babies.

Castiel: